Jimmy Perry: You're not going to cast me.

David Croft: I'm sorry.

Jimmy Perry: [in tears] I wrote the bloody thing to be in it!

Clive Dunn: I can't play another old man. I'm only forty-eight.

Arnold Ridley: I ran a film company that went bust before the war. And I made the very bad decision to sell off the rights to all my plays so I could pay everyone off, quickly. Never ever do this. Writers must always hold on to their bloody rights!

Jimmy Perry: Why didn't you write more plays?

Arnold Ridley: The ideas dried up. The ones I had were mucked about with. You're lucky. You're on set, in charge. Make the most of it. Some writers can end up as old actors.

Arnold Ridley: [laughs] A terrible, terrible thing!

[last lines]

John Laurie: It's doomed. Doomed, I'll tell ye.

Jimmy Perry: They do not like it up them!

David Croft: Who would?

[David Croft and Jimmy Perry have invited Arthur Lowe to lunch to discuss offering him the role of Captain Mainwaring]

Arthur Lowe: I wouldn't want to be in something silly. Something like that dreadful "Hugh and I".

David Croft: I directed and produced every episode of "Hugh and I", and I'm very proud of it.

[stunned silence, during which Arthur Lowe looks uneasy and David Croft smiles]

Arthur Lowe: Of course, a lesser man could be embarrassed in a situation like this.

[all three of them laugh - the ice has been broken]

Paul Fox: I've been uneasy with this project from the start.

Michael Mills: You've made that very clear.

Paul Fox: The titles re-enforce that unease. They mix fact with fiction.

Michael Mills: The point of the series is to contrast the pathetic, brave, yet comic Homeguard against the Nazi hoards.

Jimmy Perry: Exactly. That's what we're getting at.

Paul Fox: I understand the point of the series. I don't agree that it needs underlining with real footage. It's a comedy, and Nazis weren't funny.

Michael Mills: Now look here. Comedy is about more than laughing. Nearly all the cast served in the war. Jimmy and David served.

Jimmy Perry: We did. Served in India.

Michael Mills: Most of us laughed more in the war than any time since. Are you saying we don't know what's serious? Comedy defines this generation. Wit, irony, formality in the face of the impossible. Everyone who lived through it will understand it. And those who didn't.