30 August 2016 | lor_
Boring pantomime aimed at good old Couples market
Someday when pay-cable outlets like Showtime and Skinemax accept "soft" hardcore content for couples, crap like "Couples Fantasies" will find a market. But now, it's just tedious, vanilla porn for wimps.
Colette Pelissier, a new filmmaker who pockets most of her coin from rougher stuff in the gang-bang and interracial genres, is the culprit here, rounding up some attractive talent that can barely stay awake going through these motions. For example, we get a somnolent Manuel Ferrara humping just Bree (they leave the Daniels off pretentiously in the credits) in a segment titled "UnBREElievable", in which she goes through the unusual cycle of foot-job, then hand-job, then blow-job, germs be damned.
The Spanish redhead cutey Amarna Miller livens up the proceedings in "Red, Hot, and Ready", servicing Xander Corvus, who like Manuel, has been sedated. For her efforts, Amanda is credited just as "Serena", even though she's very easily recognizable, only confusion might be with another new redhead hottie Ella Hughes from Blighty.
Sara Luvv is always delightful, here wasted humping outdoors at a picnic with Van Wylde, in a segment stupidly titled "A F*cking Picnic". Who says the new wave of pornographers lacks creativity?
A lanky beauty named Kassondra gets to work on Damon Dice's dick, while even lankier Tiffany works over some guy named Brandon in an opening vignette confusingly credited to Laurel Louis as director.
Topping off the program is a solo bonus called "Tiny Seductress", telegraphing the presence of Piper Perri, fingering herself until she and the audience get tired. Wake me up when it's over.