Bangin' Blue Collar Boobs

In recent years labor unions have taken a beating, and within the middle class, blue collar workers have gotten the short shrift from a society (and world) entranced with shiny trinkets, to borrow Pres. Obama's turn of phrase. The late, lamented British label Bluebird salutes blue collar working women with this left-handed compliment of a porn video. DVD bears a 2009 copyright but apparently wasn't issued until 2012.

It's credited to one of the outfit's least interesting directors: Marc Twain, he of "Cranked" and "Nikita XXX" infamy, and is merely five vignettes with the hook that the female protagonist is working with her hands, no pun intended. Stacey Saran is employed as a carpenter when TJ Cummings, so recognizable from late-night cable soft-core editions of porn, harasses her. Under her work clothes Stacey is wearing a corset, garter belt, etc., and starts the ball rolling with a hot session.

Bosomy, tattooed Mason Moore is doing some housework when Derrick Pierce literally gives her a hard time. This segment is very sloppy, wholly improvised and evidence that the great Twain is not giving this project his undivided attention. To calibrate, it more closely resembles some phrases jotted down on the back of an envelope than approximating the achievement of "Huckleberry Finn".

Busty Charley Chase is delivering a package to Johnny Castle in an outfit definitely not approved by FedEx, and the ensuing vignette is truly idiotic. Castle is a plastic surgeon and repeatedly accuses Chase of having fake breasts -forcing her to reveal her natural wonders, and he's duly impressed, enough to hump her. This ad lib effort makes the stag films of old seem like literary achievements.

Underrated Sophia Lomeli is impressive as an auto mechanic flat on her back when an unusually aggressive Charles Dera puts the make on her and won't take no for an answer. This sex scene features non-stop patter even when they are humping, and made me wonder why Dera with his dastardly approach, 5:00 shadow and oily good looks hasn't been styled as a new Ricardo Cortez for the smutty 21st Century.

Feature ends, having way overstayed its welcome, with cleanup hitter Isis Love, who I understand is changing her name to Isil. She's cast as a car wash girl, doing her "Cool Hand Luke" thing until Danny Wylde puts it to her with a pointless conversation. This sequence is notable for its very poor continuity, made quite noticeable since Danny takes time out from XXX action to oil up Isis's ample breasts not once but twice, in an apparent editing mistake where alternate takes find their way, out of sequence, into the final print. A typical Bluebird Films lapse.

NOTE: This title is unrelated to a Bluebird release the year before titled "Blue Collar Boobs", also featuring Derrick Pierce, covering exactly the same territory. Apparently, the clowns at the label opted to merely alter the title rather than appending a number "2" to it as a series of videos is usually constructed.

Speaking of which I must reiterate my negative discovery regarding Bluebird's intended 3-hour tribute to the fight for Wales' Independence from Britain: "Independence Day". This feature is so botched up I can't even add it to IMDb for the record. I've watched three different DVD copies, and they all bear the same defect: at roughly the 99-minute mark the in- progress movie starring Stacey Saran is suddenly spliced to the final hour of an unidentified Paige Ashley porn vehicle about soccer. End credits are for the Ashley film, credited to director Marc Twain, and Ashley also appears in a smaller role in the preceding "Independence Day". This deadly combination of randomly united master tapes preserves in perpetuity yet another massive blunder by the sloppiness-is-next-to-godliness Bluebird label.