Warden Burns: As warden, I can approve buying a copy of A Dance With Dragons for the prison library to go up on the Game of Thrones shelf. Now, the only problem is that The Winds of Winter and A Dream of Spring have yet to be published so those aren't available. Well, I can't do anything about what I can't control.
Naaman: That is total bullshit! George R.R. Martin was supposed to deliver The Winds of Winter to his publisher over two years ago.
Warden Burns: I know that was the original deadline. That's what it says here. But I'm reading to you from the Wikipedia page. It also says that Martin had a grueling promotion schedule or something, and it's interfered with his writing schedule. He's failed to complete The Winds of Winter.
Naaman: That don't make no sense. Those two guys who transferred in from Federal last month knew about all the new stuff with the hot chick and her dragons.
Warden Burns: No. I'm telling you, I believe those two inmates had that information from watching the TV series. Again, I'm reading to you. The series has jumped ahead! It's no longer following the books!
Joe Bang: Is it twenty or is it thirty?... We are dealing with science here!
Joe Bang: I am in-car-ce-ra-ted.
Clyde Logan: You sucked my arm off!
Joe Bang: I'm about to get nekked... back here. No peeking.
Sadie Logan: I finally know what song I'm gonna sing for Talent!
Jimmy Logan: What song?
Sadie Logan: Umbrella by Rihanna.
Dylan Chapman: When Rihanna sings Umbrella, she's not really singing about a rain umbrella. She's really singing about her vagina. It's code.
Jimmy Logan: Who told you that?
Dylan Chapman: Everybody.
Sam Bang: That's a vagrant fliolation!
Darrell Waltrip: It's an honor to be able to start this 600-mile race here on Memorial Day. Boogity, boogity, boogity! Let's go racing for those who made the ultimate sacrifice, boys!