Max: Things happen for no reason at all, but they create opportunities.
Noah Ashby: I'm talking about fate.
Max: Fate is a tricky lady. When you try to figure her out, you just get more confused. Listen, all I know is the mistakes I've made, and the ladies I've laid have made me who I am today. If I were to go back and relive it differently, I wouldn't be me. And I like me.
Noah Ashby: Relationships are about intangible things. They're about moments. The real moments and who you share them with. And the realest moments that I've had over the past three years have been with you.
Noah Ashby: There's been times when you've hated me, and there's been times when you're hit me with trees, and then, there's been times when... you've been my only friend.
Noah Ashby: It was the perfect first date. But I waited too long, and then I got... hugged.
Noah Ashby: Holy shit! I owned your ass, space-time continuum! I just travelled through time.
Carrie: Ever keep spinning around in the same relationship, over and over, and it's just going nowhere?
Noah Ashby: Carrie, for the past three years, I've been pining over what I thought was destiny. But, no matter what I would do, Ethan would end up connecting with Avery, and I would always seem to connect with you.
Noah Ashby: Everything does happen for a reason. Or maybe they don't. Or maybe Max was right. Or maybe I'm just a stripper.
Noah Ashby: [to Carrie] Why do you keep hitting me with trees?
Noah Ashby: Could I get a big-ass bottle of Advil and a blueberry Red Bull, please?
[looks at newspaper, and picks it up]
Noah Ashby: Hey, um, could you tell me what day it is?
Devon: It's Halloween.
Noah Ashby: Yeah, but, I mean... Halloween has definitely already happened, so.
Noah Ashby: And, and what year is it?
Devon: It's 2014. Now, do you need anything else?
Noah Ashby: [in disbelief] Yeah. Ah ok. Ah. You know, could I just get my blueberry Red Bull so I can get going?
Devon: Red Bull doesn't make a blueberry flavour though. They just make one flavour- Red Bull. That's the flavour. Red Bull.
Noah Ashby: [realising he travelled back in time] Holy shit!
Noah Ashby: Don't fall in love! She's gonna rip your heart out!
Noah Ashby: Something unexplainable is happening to me, Max. Look at all these papers. They all have the exact same date. It's the exact same date on them. Where am I? How did I get here? What is happening to my life?
Max: Dude, did I not tell you the day you dropped out of business school, something exactly like this was going to happen to you.
Noah Ashby: Exactly like what?
Max: Like a quarter-life crisis. How many times did I tell you, I can talk to my boss and he would offer you a job here. You and I, we're supposed to be the Anna and Elsa of the corporate assistant game.
Noah Ashby: From Frozen?
Noah Ashby: God damn, time travel!
Noah Ashby: If only I could go back, and do everything differently. I could be the kind of guy she would want.
Carrie: [about Noah] This is the psycho I was telling you about! The one who knew me, said he was at our house, claimed to be some sort of time-travelling no-mad and spent last night in the backseat of my Bronco.
Avery: You didn't guess that I was an army brat. You already knew that, because you're a stalker!
Ethan: I've been coveting my neighbour's wife, in my mind.