The not-so-wise old hands at Bluebird Films decided a film concentrating on icon Linsey Dawn McKenzie would make sense, similar to those hoary old Golden Age efforts like "Inside Jennifer Welles" or "Deep Inside Annie Sprinkle". Surrounding her in threesomes with other lesbian talent proves to be boring.
It's structured as five separate vignettes representing different time frames and milieux, beginning with McKenzie as Cleopatra. Surprisingly, she takes this occasion to deliver an endless series of wisecracks, not funny in the manner of a Mae West, just stupid, as when she refers to herself: "the best boobs money can buy" even though the dumb Bluebird DVD liner hyperbole boasts how she's "empress of the all-natural busty world". I guess they were thinking of Liz Taylor.
Despite costume changes (and hindered by chintzy, rather embarrassing sets), the other segments are just repetition of the same: La Linsey worshipped by a couple of starlets and dildos brought out for their intrinsic cinematic flavor. Bluebird gives out no behind-the-camera credits on this turkey, wisely.
From queen of the Nile she segues to a segment titled "Magic", which is anything but, merely an excuse for interracial lesbian sex. Even Morgan Freeman plus Michael Caine couldn't have saved this vignette.
"Cell Block" features women in stir, Linsey portraying the head warden. Cells have tiled walls, typical of the "make-do" principle at Bluebird to art direction.
"Texas" is one of those embarrassing homages to Americana culture that Bluebird frequently indulges in, even though a high percentage of the label's releases are made in Chatsworth with mostly local superstars. For this one Linsey enters a junky saloon set wearing a vast Indian headdress, which she quickly removes. She humps a couple of beauties in an utterly pointless piece of filler.
Finale inevitably is about vampires, with "Vamp" the title. Linsey with fangs horses around with a couple of starlets, as the sun slowly sets on the Bluebird Empire.
