Shirley: [on phone] All my friends have grandkids, Benny. Everyone at bookclub's passing out photos like it's 9-11.

Anna: What if we turned all of our fights into songs?

Anna: The failing makes you a failure.

Ben: I don't think so. Failing makes you an artist.

[Last lines]

Ben: I mean the real question is...

Anna: ...what does love... mean to you?

Shirley: You know what? Let me give you a little bit of advice about women. All right? And I know what I'm talking about. Okay, so, hormonally, we are just completely different creatures. We might as well be completely different species. You see us as overly emotional, and that's true. We're constantly juggling a lot of feelings and anxieties. We have difficulty separating ourselves from our problems. Do you understand? Like we're constantly looking for the connective tissue to find a solution, we obsess. We search for emotional cues so that we could figure out the meaning behind the unspoken. It's not pretty in there. Problem is, we expect you to be the same. Now, you, you could take pleasure in simple things, right? A basketball game, a video game. Really, games of any kind.

Ben: That's true.

Shirley: And this ability to have these simple pleasures, it allows you to compartmentalize your feelings in a very different way. You could do what women only dream of doing. You could shut your mind off. And when your minds are turned off, you forget to do things, right? You forget to do the dishes. You forget to answer a question when we ask it.

Ben: Anna calls it the 30 second delay.

Shirley: Uh-huh. And then we come at you harder and stronger, 'cause we want your respect and attention. 'Cause we don't understand your need to shut down, your need to daydream. To us, it's lazy and selfish.

Ben: And that makes us so angry.

Shirley: Mm-hmm, I know, that's the aggression. That's the testosterone. And then we get hurt. That's the estrogen.

Ben: People don't get me.

Anna: Oh please, Ben! This, like, emo teenager shit is so fucking tired. You know what, I think the thing is *everyone* gets you and that's the fucking problem.

Ben: The sensation I get from sex and the sensation I get from eating pizza, it's like, interchangeable for me at this point.

Anna: Oh, you were just... you weren't even going!

Ben: No, I just like to sit on a toilet and let my butthole be free. Makes me more productive.