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  • Starting with its dumb title (not immediately implying the contents' thrust), this little-known entry from England's Bluebird Films smacks of a shelved video dumped on the market. It bears a 2009 copyright displayed on screen but that might have been a boilerplate error (copy and paste division) for this 2012 title.

    The untalented director "Marc Twain" puts his actors through their paces as if this were some sort of Reality exercise, with lots of talking to the camera and use of sex-tape style models handling little amateur cameras. There is nothing realistic or real at all going on, so it's a futile effort -sort of porn's adaptation of that horrible "Blair Witch" style that infected thousands of poorly made horror videos imitating a fluke success.

    The five vignettes attempt to depict bratty rich girls dominating guys who are transparently familiar porn actors, but as usual with crap porn there is no adherence to a given premise. Just having "Boy" in the title would lend itself to expectation of young guys on the payroll, but the likes of Justin Magnum and TJ Cummings do some humping, hardly jail-bait age.

    I watched in vain hoping for a moment of interest, as I am running through the entire Bluebird catalogue in search of nuggets of gold. "I Wanna..." is 100% chaff.

    Segment titles reflect a brain-dead team, for example "F*ck the Opera" has Addison Cain as the uppity girl who doesn't want to go out, forcing TJ to hump her at home. How interesting!

    "Roller Brat" opens with Chastity Lynn on roller skates, but devolves quickly into a gonzo sex scene with Justin Magnum. The camera-work is stolen from Rodney Moore's famous pov-camera for blow jobs, and the framing is right out of a foot fetish video. Wasting ultra-cute Lynn on this garbage is a sin.

    Even the presence of Nicole Ray, a favorite of mine, humping away in a Jules Jordan level flashy mansion is disappointing. She's stuck with Seth Gamble, who had already appeared in the opening segment opposite Kylee Reese, so the bloom was off the pumpkin.