Drink Slay Love

It doesnt really follow a story it feels like multiple stories slammed into one. The acting is okay but the story really lacks that shine

Drink Slay Love is a Lifetime film adaptation of a YA romance book about vampires and sparkly unicorns. I know what you're thinking: can anything be better than this? No. The answer is no.

My best friend and I are both "mature" adults in our thirties and go out of our way to watch "so bad it's good" movies. Lifetime is a gold mine for a good cringe-fest, and Drink Slay Love was no exception. The acting in this is pretty awful on all accounts. The story is senseless and derivative. The special effects? Great for 1985! The rules of this universe are not well explained in the slightest. (For example: when a vampire bites a human, do they a) not notice and their bite heals immediately including the dripping blood? b) get sick? c) die in a bloodbath at prom? d) all of the above at random times when the movie deems it interesting? If you answered D, you are correct!)

As you can tell, this movie is a great time for those of us who enjoy laughing at a film rather than with it. I have two complaints: upon checking out the novel this movie is based on, it mentions that Pearl gets her powers via a sparkly unicorn. Um, where was this unicorn? Lifetime instead decides to rely on some blonde with a penchant for using white magic on birds to explain this change, which I assume has some connection to the book given the ending with this character.

The last complaint? My favorite character was Brad, the thirsty-for-lovin' nerdy convenience store clerk that the main character uses as her cattle to feed on. After no less than three feedings off of this poor innocent soul, a climax fight scene happens with no resolution, and Brad is never heard from or seen again in the movie. Excuse me? Did he die? Did he escape? Were his memories of the vampires wiped? Has he found his true calling of being the Master of the Universe? Brad was the best part of this movie. Brad carried this masterpiece of a flick with his awkward stuttering and gaunt features, and I literally found him to be the only sympathetic character of the film (well, Pearl's father's voice was epic, and blondie's bird was pretty dope, too). But...Brad. Brad, though. WHAT HAPPENED TO BRAD?

In the end, I rated this a 6/10 based on entertainment value alone. I would have given it at least an 8/10 if it had given Brad's character a resolution. If there was a sequel starring Brad, I would probably support it day one and it would stand the test of time with other movie classics of history. Until then, Brad was the best part of this movie, and his time was cut absurdly short. He was only in Drink Slay Love for a combined five or six minutes, but his legacy will live on in my heart forever.

And don't forget...NOTHING MESSES WITH MY PROM!

Cierra Ramirez sucks and that keeps this flick from sucking. Who wouldn't want to share some ice cream with a gorgeous vampire that is impervious to daylight? Cierra is a welcomed fresh face to an old cliched genre. Her acting carries this film. She is her own event. A perfect 10. She slays. The rest of the crew bites though, ergo the subtraction of 2 stars. I normally would rate a film with so many flaws lower, but I guess the flawless Cierra glamored me. Strange how she kind of reminds me of Jodi Arias, only safer and sweeter. She's well on her way to stratospheric heights in Hollyweird. If she's in it, I'm a-watching!

Pearl (Cierra Ramirez) is a vampire. She likes to sneak out at night and have a snack. After getting captured, she escapes and discovers that she can live in the sunlight. With the Vampire King coming for a feast, she is ordered by her mother to get human victims. She becomes a high school student.

This is a Lifetime movie. It may have been a backdoor pilot that failed. Cierra Ramirez was probably finishing up with The Fosters. It's a bit cheap looking. Vanessa Parise is mostly a TV director and that's what this looks like. As for the story, one would expect more examination into her sunlight immunity. These are not curious characters. The family is too big. High school drama is more important. The Romeo and Juliet aspect could work if it's done better. I don't know if Lifetime has much experience with teen vampire shows. This feels like a hesitant first step to copy other networks.

After reading Sarah Beth Durst books for the last 10 years I've always wanted them to be turned into a movie...but this was not what I expected :( replacing unicorns with falcons first off is one of the best parts of the book! Didn't follow the book even a little bit. Which I'm used to from adaptations but this was a major disappointment. The entire family was unicorns in the book and just simple slayers in the movie. Ugh

Please someone other than lifetime make a movie based on any Sarah Beth Durst book! The queen of blood would beat out Harry Potter and the hunger games if they follow the stories!