7 February 2019 | zandertowne
A Dead Squirrel Could Make a Better Film
This is not a good movie, but it's bad in a unique fashion; it is the opposite of the average lame slasher film. Not that it's not lame, because it really, really is. But in most of those films the hardest part to suffer through is time spent with the "characters" (and that's in quotes because they are usually little more than pathetic cartoons of people or clichés of behavior). It's only with the violence or the horror or the suspense that there is anything remotely interesting. But in THIS film it is the exact opposite. You'll have to get past the truly terrible opening pair of victims, and a musical score that goes from bad to worse (and when I say "bad" I mean BAD...so you can imagine what "worse" is), but the ladies on the camping trip are actually the most worthwhile part. The actresses do a good job and there are some decent characters, discussions and relationships on view. Sadly conversations alone do not make a film like this, and other than those scenes the writing goes straight down the toilet. Or comes up from it. It comes up from somewhere because it regurgitates every tired trope of the genre. And the direction is a perfect compliment to the witless aspect of the script. Unimaginative, and anti-visual (at best), at least the director gets out of the way of his performers when they are interacting. But he can't shoot a running through the forest scene that isn't boring, and every kill is so stupefyingly set-up and staged that it's like he was deliberately making a movie for the MST3K Hall of Infamy. No matter where a character runs, or what it is that finally makes the character pause, the killer is going to be hiding right there! There's even a particularly stupid moment when a character is running madly, then jumps behind a tree only to look up and see the killer on the branch above him. And I wish I was making that up...but I'm not. It's that stupid. And like all the worst of this genre, for the last half of the movie, every semi-intelligent person behaves purposefully moronic or the film would be over quickly: actually the film would be over at the beginning since the ladies have to do the stupidest thing in order to put themselves in harms way. The direction, and the "story" aspect of the script, are so mind-numbingly sub-par that I am tempted to believe the actresses improvised all their scenes in front of a still running camera while the director was off in the bushes trying to get pointers on how to stage a scene from a dead squirrel. I'm positive your average dead squirrel could make a better slasher film than 4/20 Massacre.