Jessica James: What?

Boone: I *really* like you.

Jessica James: Yeah, Boone. Of course you do. Everyone does. I'm freaking dope.

Tinder Guy: What should I have done?

Jessica James: I don't know. Maybe just like... grab me by the shoulders and whisper something really sexy in my ear.

Tinder Guy: Like what?

Jessica James: Like... um, go... in the bathroom and take off your panties. I wanna smell 'em.

Tinder Guy: And... and you would've done that if I told you to do that?

Jessica James: Maybe. I don't know. There's a huge chance I would have just punched you in your ding-a-ling, but who knows?

Boone: How do you pay your rent?

Jessica James: I work at a non-profit in Hell's kitchen. I teach public school kids how to write and produce their own plays.

Boone: So, how do you pay your rent?

Jessica James: Why did you get married?

Boone: I think I was in a hurry to get on with my life.

Jessica James: What went wrong?

Boone: I'm still figuring that out. But, I'm pretty sure it was her fault.

Jessica James: You know how I pretty much moved here to escape my family?

Tasha: Yes, you and everybody else who moved here.

Boone: I wouldn't say this is anymore or less awkward than every other part of the night.

Jessica James: [laughs] That's funny. You're funny.

Boone: Yeah.

[pause]

Boone: I'm also good at cunnilingus.

Jessica James: Just because you catch a unicorn in the wild doesn't mean you get to tap it whenever you want, buddy.

Boone: Are you calling yourself a unicorn?

Jessica James: Maybe.

Boone: Didn't realize unicorns are so arrogant.

Heather: Hi! I'm Heather.

Jessica James: I'm sure you are.

Jessica James: I want you to think about feeling nothing. And, I mean, really think about it. And, I want you to write a paragraph on it for class next week. Four sentences minimum. Do you think you can do that?

Shandra: Do I have to?

Jessica James: This is theatre, Shandra. We don't have to do any of this. We do it *simply because we must.*

Shandra: [ridiculed] What?

Damon: I need to tell you how I feel.

Jessica James: Okay. Fine. How do you feel?

Damon: I... I don't know.

Jessica James: Do you have more than one vibrator?

Tasha: Uh, has one man ever fulfilled *all* of your needs?

[Boone trips over trash cans in front of Mandy's house]

Boone: [on phone with Jessica] Did trash cans fall over on your end?

Sarah Jones: What does theatre actually mean to you?

Jessica James: I just love it.

Sarah Jones: nd... you're doing it. Like, that's why we're here. Right? This is it. There's kind of not more to it than that.

Boone: You know how I used to obsess about everything she did online?

Jessica James: I do.

Boone: Now the only page I refresh is yours.

Jessica James: Come on.

Boone: Oh, that... sounded better in my head.

Jessica James: he

[Mandy Moore]

Jessica James: really knows how to handle a banana.