26 October 2016 | lor_
Bloated Bluebird Boobfest
I dig that title: a forerunner of hundreds of romantic tales from Sweet Sinner and other Couples labels. But this is Bluebird Films, Paul Chaplin's low-end Brit Porn label, and we get no romance, just 3 hours of humping.
The voluminous cast includes some odd coincidences: imagine putting Keisha Kane and Kaia Kane in the same feature and then two Jasmines: Superstar Jasmine Webb and Euro natural big-boobs champ Jasmine Black. Black is White and Webb is Black, just to confuse matters more.
The six half-hour vignettes have insipid titles: "After Class", "Ping Pong", "Facilities", "Sneak", "Home" and "Offer", and the skits are stupid. Typical one: Webb's segment skirts possible incest but is utterly pointless, a mere pretext for interracial humping.
In "Facilities" imported bald American actor Barry Scott is left at the table at a diner while sis and his girl-friend have Sapphic sex in the loo. Paige Ashley and Kaia Kane do the honors and I felt as silly watching it as Scott must have felt foregoing the only thing he's capable of doing well, namely humping for cash. I hope British Airways didn't fly him to Blighty just for this bit part.
Label owner Chaplin inveigles his way into a sketch to hump one of his favorite employees, Stacey Saran. Even Danny D goes without sex here, as the top-heavy cast is prone to lesbian action, as implied by the title.
Just another day at the Bluebird salt mines.