We first meet the eponymous hero of 'Diamantino' as he prepares to score the goal that may propel Portugal into the final of the football World Cup. As he runs toward the goal, the pitch and stadium dissolve around him and are replaced by a field of pink powder through which gambol giant fluffy puppies. This is something Diamantino sees every time he is about to attempt a goal, and it gives an indication of his personality: footballing superstar he may be, but he is also sweet, innocent, childlike and a bit dim.
An encounter with refugees crossing the Mediterranean (a popular theme with film-makers at the moment) shocks Diamantino so much he decides to adopt one. The chosen refugee, 'Rahim', is actually Aisha, an agent for the Portuguese secret service, investigating Diamantino for money-laundering. She quickly realises he does not possess the intelligence to organise such a scheme, but she *does* discover that his evil twin sisters have arranged with the Minister for Propaganda that Diamantino be cloned, in order to create a world-beating football squad that will make the Portuguese into proud nationalists just before they are due to vote in a referendum to leave the European Union (Porexit?)
Looking a bit like West Ham midfielder Jack Wilshere (only with fewer injuries), Carloto Cotta makes Diamantino an engaging (and sexy) character, and Anabela & Margarida Moreira are deliciously evil as his sisters, although if I were a twin I might sigh at the 'weird twins' plot device being trotted out yet again. The 2018 London Film Festival included this film in their 'Experimenta' strand and rightly so: it is as mad as a box of frogs. But the narrative is largely coherent and the film is definitely entertaining. I may well watch it again.