Poolhall Sex Junkies (2013)

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7 August 2017 | lor_
Slop from the Pirate vaults
Headquartered either in Cyprus or Spain (take your Brexit era pick), this "Best of" compilation of sex scenes atop or next to a billiard table is as pointless as that hook sounds. It turns out to be loaded with threesomes, to facilitate d.p.'s that Private fans (as well as fans of other Euro labels like Dorcel) demand on a Minimum Daily Requirement level.

I spotted the title buried in the IMDb listings because some wag submitted it as directed by Michael Ninn, a Chatsworth Hall of Fame auteur. But upon inspection, it has seven random scenes of archive footage representing the work of seven different directors, and according to IMDb rules shouldn't get a director credit at all in the database, an honor reserved only for players in archive compilations.

I couldn't guess which segment belonged to Ninn, the only positive ID one going to Antonio Adamo, Private's big moneymaker a decade or two back. That's because Sophie Evans (looking mah-velous) can't stop looking over at the camera directly during her sex scene atop a pool table with Alex Mantegna -the trademark Adamo shot.

I also managed to spot an uncredited performer in NonSex role, Tyce Bune, having recently watched him in many a Vivid or A&E picture from the turn of this century. He just gazes at a threesome of Manuel Ferrara and Miles Long servicing the inimitable Nikita Denise - high-octane d.p. action. The foolish auteur of this segment went for the cheap-jack route of pantomime, thereby sacrificing the iconic voice of Nikita in favor of strictly visual sex content.

So it goes, one damn perfunctory sex scene after another. The Euro players occasionally recite English dialog with impenetrable accents, but this is wall-to-wall sex, adequately performed by very familiar bodies & faces, signifying nothing.

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Release Date:

9 January 2013



Country of Origin

Spain, Cyprus

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