Luke Hobbs: I'm what you call an ice-cold can of whoop-ass.

[Hobbs and Shaw are told to work together. Hobbs responds by throwing a chair at the glass wall]

Luke HobbsDeckard Shaw: No way!

[Hobbs and Shaw point at each other]

Luke HobbsDeckard Shaw: This guy's a real asshole!

Brixton: Look at me. I'm Black Superman!

Deckard Shaw: This job requires stealth. Look at you.

Luke Hobbs: I'm trying to save the world, which, for the record, will be my fourth time. 'Cause I'm really good at it.

[Brixton nabs Hattie and he and his thugs scale down the skyscraper. Hobbs and Shaw decide to chase after them through ropes]

Luke Hobbs: On my three.

Deckard Shaw: Sure.

Luke Hobbs: One, two, three!

[Hobbs jumps and grabs his rope, but realizes that Shaw doesn't do the same. Shaw waves at Hobbs and takes the elevator, engaging the emergency release to drop him faster than Hobbs. Hobbs then jumps and knocks out a thug by sending him crashing head-first to the elevator window]

Luke Hobbs: [muffled] Fuck you!

Luke Hobbs: Pick a door.

Deckard Shaw: [thumbs at the door behind him] All right, then.

Luke Hobbs: No. That's my door. Pick another door.

Deckard Shaw: What's wrong with you?

[Shaw picks his door and opens it, revealing eight thugs inside]

Deckard Shaw: You know what? You're right. This is your door.

Luke Hobbs: What's the matter? You got a lot of bad guys behind that door?

[Shaw fights off the thugs behind his door. Hobbs opens his door and sees a 7-foot thug in front of him. The thug throws around his monkeywrench, but Hobbs knocks him out with one punch. Hobbs grabs the thug and shoves his face against the facial recognition pad]

Computer: Access granted.

[Shaw takes the last thug in his room and shoves his face against the facial recognition pad]

Computer: Access denied.

[Shaw tries again]

Computer: Access denied.

[Shaw tries again]

Computer: Access denied.

[Hobbs shrugs as Shaw lets go of the thug]

Sefina Hobbs: My baby's come home!

Luke Hobbs: I'm sorry to bring trouble here, Momma, but I need my brothers. This family is going to war. We're gonna need cars... and guns.

[Hobbs opens the armory and discovers that all of the guns have been replaced with traditional Samoan spears and handheld weapons]

Luke Hobbs: Momma, where's all our guns?

Sefina Hobbs: I get rid of them.

Deckard Shaw: Very noble, Mrs. Hobbs.

[whispers to Hattie]

Deckard Shaw: We're in serious trouble.

Hattie Shaw: That's an understatement.

[Hobbs grabs a spiked club]

Luke Hobbs: Let's get old-school.

Brixton: I'm indeed the future of the planet. I'm the necessary shot to the system. I am human evolutionary change. Bulletproof. Superhuman.

Deckard Shaw: I'm what you might call a champagne popper.

[Brixton has Hobbs and Shaw chained to an electric torture device]

Brixton: Three shocks will kill a man.

Luke Hobbs: Here we go. It's a bad guy speech.

[Brixton gives them one shock]

Deckard Shaw: You had to open your big mouth, did ya, huh?

Luke Hobbs: Yeah, I thought it was a cool thing to say at the moment.

Luke Hobbs: You wanna tell me just what the hell we're dealing with here?

Deckard Shaw: It's my sister. Family business!

Luke Hobbs: When it's the fate of the world, it becomes my business.

[Hobbs and Shaw are on a stealth jet]

Deckard Shaw: On my three! One...

[Hobbs suddenly ejects Shaw]

Luke Hobbs: Ha ha ha ha! Whoo! All right, you see the look on his face? You have no idea how long I've been waiting to do that.

[Shaw opens his parachute and gives Hobbs the double finger]

[after Hobbs and Shaw are defeated by Brixton in hand-to-hand combat]

Luke Hobbs: He really is Black Superman.

Luke Hobbs: We need to get off the grid.

Hattie Shaw: Where?

Luke Hobbs: Home.

Hattie Shaw: Who in the hell are you?

Brixton: Bad guy.

Brixton: Hobbs and Shaw, you want a war? You've got one.

Brixton: Luke Hobbs and Deckard Shaw. We have got unfinished business.

Brixton: Shaw's sister took something from me. A virus that could wipe out half the population. And I want it back.