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  • Unsigned as to writer or director, this absurd entry of Girlfriends' intentionally risque series attempts to shock but is so awkwardly directed and performed that it comes off as almost campy in content. But it is too dull for to be campy.

    As hinted by the "You Are Not My Mommy" subtitle, it concerns a generation gap, with two family units presented in a pair of two-parters. Opener features that extremely sexy shaved-head actress Riley Nixon, playing a troubled teen at war with her surrogate parents, a lesbian couple played poorly by Prinzzess and Riley Reyes.

    Reyes is Riley's sister, and the lesbian pair have been carrying for Nixon for two years, following her mother's death. Nixon keeps acting up and acting out, as we witness in an early scene of her outside vaping an e-cigarette and urinating outside, caught in the act by some guy - we only hear his voice screaming at her.

    This was behind her school, and a phone call to Prinzzess reports the misbehavior. P reads the riot act to Nixon after catching her masturbating on her bed, and spanks Nixon -not sexy at all but a violent moment. But typical of porn like this, soon they are humping away together after a tearful hug and some exploitation-level suckling at P's breast.

    With tons of footage to come I knew it would be a long, long slog sitting through this 3-hour carwreck. P is bawled out by her mate (the sister) Riley Reyes for coddling the kid Riley, and after arguing they make up, and we have a lengthy, dull sex scene for P and Reyes. Prinzzess is so stoic and boring in her non-acting that these scenes are lifeless, despite their intended shock value.

    Dropping this story, we next have a risible 2-parter starring Blair Williams as stepdaughter and Eva Long as stepmom, both possessing big boobs. Blair's young jail-bait age-looking friend Megan Sage practices piano with her, where they talk about sex, specifically orgasms from masturbating, to which we hear another off-camera voice: a female music teacher reprimanding them for talking rather than concentrating on their lessons. What clunky direction -the 2 off camera "characters" plus truly lousy piano on the soundtrack somewhat below the level of playing Chopsticks.

    Megan gave Blair instructions on improving her jackoff technique to achieve orgasms -stressing "spit and rub in a circle". Back home Blair tries the technque and is caught in the act by stepmom Long. (Just like Prinzzess and Nixon an hour before, screentime that is.)

    Blair explains and Long kindly teaches her how to masturbate properly, leading to Sapphic faux incest for them.

    Final vignette, after another annoying piano lesson, has Blair talking mom into teaching Megan how to jerkoff, resulting in more mutual-masturbation than you'd ever want to see, and Blair and Megan seguing to mature Sapphic sex technique.

    It's played seriously and solemnly, just the thing to be almost-camp.