Swinging

Many Penthouse videos have top directors and talent on board, making them watchable despite the label's penchant for pointless filler. This entry in the execrable "How to" porno guides genre is atrocious, merely four stupid scenes of humping accompanied by fatuous voice-over (from the untalented director, "Guy Capo") and complete b.s. by the familiar faces pretending to be real folk.

Capo's condescending patter, negating a lifetime of useful commentary by Nina Hartley, the queen of this particular educational genre, pretends to tell us about the art of swinging, what used to be called wife- swapping in my day, and results in a mass of misinformation. Clearly "Guy" has missed his calling, as working alongside Kellyanne Conway is what he's suited to do.

What he says is "The Soft Swing" turns out to be lesbian sex, encouraged by the husbands. Even the phony-baloney current porno content dealing with so-called "hotwifing" is more credible than this, as we watch two busty babes from Chatsworth, Alexia Rae and Jessica James, give each other a good licking with males absent.

Second vignette of "Soft Swinging" features two couples swapping wives, but no lesbian action allowed. It's a total yawner.

Following he presents "Full Swap", more wife-swapping in which perennial MILF hound Dane Cross plus Ramon Nomar are the lucky guys. Finale mysteriously titled "Closed Swap", which sounds more like an MBA Class exercise in finance rather than a real-life sex act, has Dale DaBone humping Chanel Preston while both their spouses are absent. I guess Penthouse and da Capo figure the viewer has to fill in ALL of the blanks to make any sense out of this nearly two hours of generic sex.

Listening to these talented performers expound on the world of swapping is not merely boring but utterly phony. I doubt if Penthouse sold many copies of this stinker, so my purchasing one of the remainders was good old lor's version of a mercy-f*ck for a failing company.