A Christmas Cruise (2017 TV Movie) User Reviews (25)

Doesn't click

[Jackbv123 · 4/10 · 8 December 2018]

Neither of the leads is appealing and their chemistry is weak. I didn't care what happened between them. The guy with the foot problems was not funny but just annoying.

The boat, oh sorry ship, is wimpy. Cruise directors have no time for flirting and besides that they all have real entertainment talents. You'd never catch him singing on a mic with a voice like St. John's.

The story doesn't really go anywhere except to the predictable ending. And besides that it made no sense.

Very boring

[kimberlymackie · 5/10 · 25 December 2018]

I found myself checking my phone. The charecters had no chemistry and you could tell they weren't reallycon a ship. Love Boat was actually better.

Cute

[medlingmoves · 4/10 · 18 October 2019]

The movie is cute but just ok overall. I found the acting very scripted instead of fluid. Lack of true emotion. As a adult film it felt very juvenile.

So. Bad.

[mlyhancock · 1/10 · 23 November 2020]

This is possibly the worst movie I've ever suffered through. There was absolutely no chemistry between the two main characters, and the male lead was completely void of any charm or desirable characteristics. The female lead was, for lack of a better word, "blah." Their relationship was basically nothing but being rude and sarcastic to each other, and their banter was just awkward and forced.

I generally appreciate the cheesiness of Christmas/Hallmark type movies, but man. This went way past cheesy, into downright cringeworthy.

No chemistry between the characterd

[sidjs · 2/10 · 9 December 2018]

The shots for the cruse ships were different. The first was the Queen Mary and the next shot looked like it was a standard cruise ship. Very little chemistry between characters.

I LIKE PAIN

[BandSAboutMovies · 3/10 · 27 December 2019]

David DeCoteau made The Wrong Cruise for Lifetime, which also stars Vivica A. Fox, and that movie uses the exact same establishing shot of a cruise ship as this movie. Welcome to the world of DeCoteau, where stock footage and ADR rules the day.

This is the second combo of Fox and DeCoteau that I've watched this holiday season. Obviously, I've made an advent calendar for myself filled with feces.

NOTE: The actress and director have worked together way more times than I thought was possible, including The Wrong Roommate. Sadly, I fear my OCD means that I'm going to be watching all of them.

When Pam Stevenson's (Fox) best friend Becky (Jessica Morris, who has been in DeCoteau's The Wrong Man, The Wrong Mommy and The Wrong Teacher, as well as A Mermaid for Christmas) takes her on a Christmas cruise - see, the title pays off - the aspiring novelist somehow finds the love of her life onboard.

That said, the ship they board is the Queen Mary, which hasn't sailed for years, and all of the film's locations look like banquet rooms at some hotel.

Kristoff St. John - who was on The Young and the Restless with Fox - died this year and this was one of his last films. Thanks to his page, I learned a fact that I would never have found out otherwise: he was childhood friends with both Soleil Moon Frye and her brother Meeno Peluce. I never realized that these two 80's stars - Punky Brewster and Jeffrey Jones from Voyagers! - were related.

This movie also has Rib Hillis (he used to be on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition), Cristine Prosperi (Imogen Moreno from Degrassi: The Next Generation), Corin Nemec (the titular Parker Lewis from Parker Lewis Can't Lose) and Reatha Grey (whose acting career started all the way back in the blacksploitation movie Welcome Home Brother Charles).

This Ion television TV movie lacks the sheer insanity of the director's other films, so my hopes of talking cats and holiday puppies were dashed. Instead, two older people found love on a holiday island. Then again, if I want to watch more DeCoteau seasonal fare, there's also Christmas Matchmakers (also with Fox), Carole's Christmas, My Christmas Grandpa (again, with Fox), A Royal Christmas Ball and Runaway Christmas Bride.

Bah humbug.

Unlikeable characters badly done

[joystephenson · 1/10 · 1 December 2018]

Truly bad film. Both the lead characters were unlikeable and didn't seem to like each other either. Moany, know it all male meets moany uncooperative woman and they live unhappily ever after. Awful script but the actors were convincingly unlikeable so I guess they were good?!

A sinking ship

[jfraychica · 2 May 2019]

Literally one of the worst movies that I'll never get my 1 hr and 40 minutes back! Horrible script and worse acting. The poor Queen Mary shots were sad. No chemistry between any actors. Lifetime movies along with Christmas in July on Hallmark are better and that's truly hard to say.

The love boat

[Prismark10 · 3/10 · 7 November 2018]

Vivica Fox plays journalist and aspiring novelist Pam Stevenson.

Pam is invited by her best friend on festive themed Christmas cruise. Pam plans to get an article out of it but things do not start well as she has to sleep in a rollaway bed as there are not twin beds in their cabin.

Pam dispenses life advice to other cruise guests such as a young engaged couple and finds romance herself with the cruise director.

This is another run of the mill Christmas themed romance movie that is made for television. This one looks a bit more expensive, in short it was not made in Canada. They even use the Queen Mary that is docked in LA for exterior shots.

Laughably, Fox who is in her 50s plays a child of the 90s, rather unconvincingly.

Awkward, predictable, and just plain awful

[rachelaemmons · 1/10 · 20 December 2019]

Oh man, where to begin? I didn't mind the main character or the premise. Sure, it was predictable, but it could have still been enjoyable. It just wasn't at all. The main character (I already forgot everyone's names, so bear with me) is divorced, overworked, and lonely. To make her feel even worse, she has the most annoying co-workers imaginable (reindeer antler headbands, Christmas cookies, practically jumping up and down with Christmas spirit) and her mother is obsessed with her funding a man. Then you meet her "best friend" (nothing you say to me can convince me that these two remotely like each other) who is newly divorced and super horny, who invites her to go on a Christmas cruise with her to find boyfriends. She says she can't take off work for it, but then her boss conveniently tells her that he wants her to find some way to write an article about finding romance during the holidays and the cruise is the perfect place to find material. The rest of the movie goes exactly the way anyone would expect it to go. She starts writing the article, meets a man herself, falls in love, goes home, quits her job, and brings him home to her mother. The predictability isn't the problem, though. It's the cringey dialogue, the unlikable characters (ALL of them, except MAYBE Vivica A. Fox), the awkward, forced romance (her horny best friend finds a boyfriend the instant they get on the ship and are happily ever after with no drama or conflict of any kind), and so much more. But I'm rambling now. I enjoy a cheesy romance movie every now and then, but this was so, so bad. One good thing I guess is that I laughed quite a bit.

Grown up and charming Xmas

[paragurl777 · 10/10 · 6 December 2020]

Hooray a christmas movie for people who are grown. Vivica fox plays a writer workaholic who refuses to take time out to smell the roses . Her newly divorced friend suggests she go on a cruise with her. She agrees but only because she pressured by her editor to find a new storyfor her column. She is delightfully surprised and smitten by the smooth christoff St.John . If you like a charming story with grown up narrative for christmas than this for you

I'd rather watch paint dry!

[nelispz · 1/10 · 26 December 2018]

Probably the worst film I have ever watched. Nothing happens. Don't waste your time watching this.

Bad acting

[rusheffect · 3/10 · 15 December 2019]

Mainly writing this review to point out that it was obvious this would be a bad film from the very beginning. The cruise director reads the lead's "handwritten" notes only for the camera to linger on the opened journal and show him pointing to a typed script taped on the inside cover. I mean come on, how did every editor miss that? It only got worse from there.

Big Letdown

[schwabette · 1/10 · 11 October 2019]

I was excited for the premise of this movie, but was severely let down by the poor acting, bad transitions, and silly script. It's ridiculous to believe that a woman in her 30s and a woman in her 50s would be best friends, because they just have zero chemistry. They seem like strangers. I was willing to let this go, and then Vivica's L.I. says the line about being a "child of the 90s?!" Are they trying to pass her off as a 35-40 year old?! No, this just made it all the more unconvincing and frankly, kind of insulting to people watching this movie in their 30s. The love story part is awkward at best. The only part I liked was the Christmas music!

Fox seemed out of place and many aspects of her performance seemed forced and a bit awkward

[kevin_robbins · 2/10 · 20 December 2021]

A Christmas Cruise (2017) is a movie I recently watched on Tubi. The storyline follows a reporter whose friend invites her on a Christmas cruise where maybe they can both meet a worthwhile guy; meanwhile, her boss has offered her a promotion if she can write a worthwhile Christmas love article. She decides she may be able to accomplish her personal and professional goals by going on the cruise with her friend.

This movie is directed by David DeCoteau (Puppet Master III) and stars Vivica A. Fox (Kill Bill), Jessica Morris (The Upshaws), Kristoff St. John (The Young and the Wrestless) and Rib Hillis (The Wrong Man).

The storyline for this is a bit cliche and straightforward and seemed corny at times. St. John seemed a bit stiff and it definitely makes sense he does soap operas and Fox seemed out of place and many aspects of her performance seemed forced and a bit awkward. The character with all the injuries in this was ridiculous more than funny; however, at least the film has a nice, feel good ending.

Overall, this is a below average movie that felt made for TV that you'd just leave on in the background as you're preparing for the holiday but isn't worth paying too much attention to. I would score this a 2/10 and recommend skipping it.

Not even on a cruise..

[kylanorman · 1/10 · 22 December 2019]

This was horrible and cheap. They didn't film most of this on a cruise ship which was obvious as soon as the 2 main stars stepped foot into their HUGE stateroom. No cruise room is that big! The dining room was clearly filmed inside a hotel ballroom. They used scenes of both a Princess cruise ship and a Disney cruise ship with the logos covered up. No consistently. Bad editing. Just an overall tacky movie that could've been made 100x better.

Lame!!

[catdartdda · 1/10 · 5 December 2021]

As a cruise specialist I knew better than to watch this. Did producers not think to NOT do an Ariel photo of the ship? Clearly it's the queen Mary and it's not moving. Then when departure is shown it's the Disney Magic. Absolutely horrible. Movie is worse.

One cruise ship that sinks badly

[TheLittleSongbird · 2/10 · 2 August 2022]

Am not somebody who hates Christmas or has a bias against made for television Christmas films. The complete opposite on both counts and have made that clear more than once and will continue to do so if necessary (though am refraining as much as possible from reiterating too much). Have liked Vivica A Fox in other things, though more in supporting roles than lead, so that was another reason for watching 'A Christmas Cruise'. This was watched with a real attempt to like it.

Unfortunately, 'A Christmas Cruise' turned out to be very bad, if anybody is wondering as to whether it is as bad as has been said my answer respectfully is that yes it really is. There are worse films around, but when it comes to Christmas films, 'A Christmas Cruise' is towards the bottom and wastes both the premise, which was formulaic but potentially cute, and Fox, who actually has talent but you wouldn't think so watching her performance here. This is all being said with a heavy heart.

There are two redeeming merits. One is the cruise ship, which is like its own character and great to look at. The other is the catchy festive music.

On the other hand, one cannot enjoy the ship in its full glory because the film is so badly shot, very disorganised and out of focus straight to video/DVD quality. The acting all round is awful, particularly from charisma void Kristoffer St John but Fox comes over as very forced and on edge throughout. Didn't care for any of the characters, the overwritten character flaws make them impossible to endear to and they are never developed really, too much of one level. The chemistry between Fox and St John is non existent, and what there is is too forced and acrimonious to convince as romance.

Furthermore, the script is full to the brim with contrived mean spirited banter, pongy cheese, sugary schmaltz and a very stilted flow. What little there is of the story goes at a snail's pace, is predictable and has too many things resolving too conveniently in a contrived way. As for the direction, what direction?

In summary, very bad with almost everything failing terribly. 2/10.

Adorable cheesy Christmas movie 😍

[majazelenovic · 10/10 · 12 December 2019]

Honestly I'm sad that most of the reviews are bad, I personally love this movie and look forward to seeing it on tv every year. Ofc it's cheesy it's supposed to be but these something about these types of movies idk what it is. I don't think they lack chemistry I just think their characters are unique, Kristoff's character jake is very serious and doesn't have many facial expressions but I love that it's very intriguing and vivica's character is more of the Typical no nonsense career girl but it's a cute match. I highly recommend this movie

Barely stays afloat

[phd_travel · 5/10 · 5 October 2018]

Not enough happens in this romance between a writer and a cruise ship director. The guy is a bit disagreeable. Vivica is charming but it all looks one sided. She is unreasonable does she expect him to leave his job?

Pretty painful

[centava99 · 3/10 · 17 December 2022]

Far from the worst of these holiday movies, but the lead male, Jake, was incredibly wooden, who looked perpetually pissed off except when smiling, which also felt forced.

Vivica (Pam) was bubbly and energetic as usual but the scenes with Jake just hurt to watch. I kept waiting for him to become some crazy sociopath based on his demeanor, but had to keep reminding myself this is a holiday movie!

The crazy coworkers and shipmates just were cringe-worthy and of course the plot was predictable in the extreme, with the silly premise of "write one sexy article and get the promotion of your life." At least I got my crossword puzzle done during this...

IGNORE THOSE REVIEWS AND GIVE THIS ONE A TRY!

[tmacteach · 8/10 · 26 December 2020]

After all the bad reviews, I almost didn't give this one a chance. It was not like the typical Hallmark unrealistic, but fulfilling storyline of a young good looking quirky female fighting then falling in love with a young gorgeous available man in town. No focus on lost parents or spouse because they were adults, who were older than 40. They had lived a bit. Though the situations that the characters found themselves in were just as corny and predictable as any other Hallmark movie, there WAS chemistry-grown chemistry. I watched the entire movie and don't think it was as bad as the reviews. I think one should give a try, you might be as surprised as I was.

Cruising Is Made For Love

[diann_charles · 9/10 · 27 December 2017]

"A Christmas Cruise" is an enchanting tale of the mystical magic of love, whimsically wondrous miracles and potently passionate pages of life. Refreshingly poignant, "A Christmas Cruise" vigorously embraces hope, healing and the possibilities of happily ever after.

Loved it.

[trapptransport · 10/10 · 3 January 2019]

This was a great heart felt movie. Who's the guy singing the Christmas song and the name of the song.

Very nice movie

[minunimion · 10/10 · 16 October 2022]

This is a very nice movie, but only for those who are not teens and they have a heart, so it's for just few people.

To say that the main actors can't act, is something that an empty, failed and frustrated loser can say. WOW, do you really think you can act better than them? Look yourself in the mirror, connect your brain, if you have one, and then think back to the stupid thing you said. Do you still think this way? If so, it means you are an amoeba, so stop writing, do it for us, thanks.

Anyway, this movie is full of good feelings, some humor, and a lot of love, something that nowadays is missing.

Before deciding to not watch this movie, because you read many bad reviews, think that you have to decide and not the others, so give it a try.

Maybe you won't like it, it's OK, but at least you decided and not anybody else.

After reading very bad reviews, in which you don't see any kind of professionality, just a bunch of angry, frustrated people and it's easy to understand that, I immediately watch that movie, because I want to realize whether that movie is so awful and guess what? Nine out of ten films aren't that bad, and some of them are even very nice movies.

Recommended if you like romance, love, good feelings, Christmas, peace, life.

I gave it 10 stars because I want to raise the score, currently it has a very low score, but honestly it would be 7/8.