User Reviews (20)

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  • Like most of the horror today, it's clearly made on cellphones by a 12 year-old whose uncle runs a not-for-profit community theater. There is no notion of cinematography, especially in camera movement or lighting. The music is generic. The acting is cheesy. There are dumb masks.

    Avoid. I don't even know you but I am kindly sparing you a wasted hour-and-a-half of your life. Avoid. this. "movie".
  • jstlucas31 August 2019
    Watched this before the bad reviews starting coming in and the rating was higher. We kept thinking that something was going to happen to explain what the heck was going on, why is this doll killing people, but it's not! The Arthur doll was ok and sort of creepy. The "effects" such as blood were extremely bad, did they just find red paint and pretend it's blood? We were 45 minutes into it and said "let's stop" but then saw there wasn't much time left (1/2 hour) and thought we'd soldier through it. Oh well, I've seen worse in the past and will probably see worse in the future, but definitely cannot recommend this to anyone.
  • Let's face it, horror films with low or high budgets being produced today, are the worst they've ever been. I have not seen one decent horror film in three years. The stuff being made now is just horrorBLE. And after watching the trailer for this film, I can further conclude that it's another film that should be avoided. Gone are the days of good horror movies, nowadays it's nothing but stupidity and bad acting... especially for horror movies.
  • Worse movie ever, had to watch it as I'm stubborn and paid £3.45 for it on rakuten #facepalm

    They should pay ME to watch it I think !!
  • As I stated in my review for The Convent, when a successful film is released a lot of people jump on the bandwagon to sell their goods. However, unlike The Convent, this snake oil is putrefied.

    There are only two minor elements within this picture that are decent. The first is the actor you portrays the literary agent. He's the only one in the cast who appears to take his craft seriously. Jon-Paul Gates isn't too bad as the lead Brendon but he does get wooden and hammy throughout the film. However, I cannot help thinking how much better this piece of trash would have been had the roles been reversed between these two.

    Second is the filming - though only in a couple of scenes. The scene where Brendan meets with his agent. This is nicely directed and nicely shot. And there are a couple of drone-cam shots that work well also.

    So that's the good bits over...

    The story is horrendous. There's a scene where Brendon is talking to the local, walking-talking able-bodied mute paraplegic, harlot at his writing retreat. He informs her he never wanted to write horror he wanted to be more of a Dylan Thomas. He chose horror because it was easy. You take a few situations and put them together and hey-presto. This is how the writer and director (both loose terms here) Steven M Smith cobbled this monstrosity together. Well let me tell you Mr Smith Horror isn't easy but CRAP is, as you have proven here.

    The characters and situations are ludicrous and unbelievable. The most realistic thing about this film is... the cottage. I had to think long and hard about that. But even the cottage isn't perfect. Places like these, that are let out to people as holiday homes or getaways, at least have some objet d'art in them. This house is cold and bare and devoid of any atmosphere... oh, was the cottage supposed to be an allegory of this film?

    As for the relationships between the village folk and our hero well, strange is a word that comes to mind. For example, one moment he's wary of the roving and raving madman. The next they're knocking back a few in his cottage. No rhyme - No Reason.

    This also falls into bad continuity. Which can also be laid squarely at Arthur The Doll's feet... literally. This doll, which is just a person in a wooden mask has a laughable way of moving around. He walks upstairs slowly, He nearly falls over when going around corners. And, when you get a shot down at his feet he does running baby steps. None of which screams walking doll at me. But why does he need to move around when he can magically teleport between reality and the mirror world(?) In one scene he appears in bed in the mirror but he's not in the bed in the room. Then he's in the bed in the room but not in the mirror bed. This carries on for a few cuts to drive our hero mad. However, if he has this wonderful ability why does he need to walk at all?

    I will say this for Arthur though, he does like his hammers. He mainly dispatches his opponents by hammering them in the stomach... while they just calmly lay there and let him. But when Arthur transforms into giant Arthur his hammer becomes an iron mallet. Surprising thing is, the claw hammer could kill with a few taps of the hammer side, whereas, the mallet which is thrown full force squarely at our hero's head only knocks him out. The thing should have taken half his skull off.

    So if you're still thinking about watching this rubbish then I wish you all the best of luck. This film stole an hour and a half from me. It doesn't have to steal it from you too. If you require a horror fix then feel free to pop over and check out my Absolute Horror List / Chart. You can see where this film ranked and choose something better to view.

    This film is so bad I rated it a 1.5 which equates to a 2 on IMDb, but it's not worth a 2... I just can't do it.
  • Warning: Spoilers
    It is horrific. No storyline, no budget, no camera work, nothing that resembles an attempt at acting and a rip off Michael Myers "doll."

    Seriously don't be tempted.
  • One of the worst movies I have seen in a long time. I won't waste many words on this review, as the poor production, camerawork, sound, and acting in this film does not warrant it. The writing sucks, the acting sucks, the directing sucks. Do you get the idea that this entire ting sucks?
  • davlaw-206385 January 2020
    If you get this tripe, let us all know please! Why anyone wasted money making this is beyond me. Why I watched it from start to finish is even further beyond me! Curiosity and hope I think. IMDB, will you please introduce a zero rating for garbage like this, better still minus ratings.
  • This is one of those movies that is neither clear (explained) neither positive. There is mystery, curse, darkness, odd and bad people. Unlike in most movies, in this one everybody was so bad. Like this movie is coming from somebody's dream, the nightmare. Like something about cults, rituals, black magic, and other negative and scary stuff. It was a bit funny doll making movements and kids at the end beating up innoccent man. But unfortunately everything is so nonsense, meaning not explained or reasonable, so no more than 2 stars. Worst of all everything looks fake, even we can see real human hiding only part of face with mask.
  • Couldnt watch this beyond 15 minutes. Every actor/actress in that time was the worse I have seen. Good luck if you get past that 15.
  • My mum bought this film while she in lockdown I came over and watches with him. My god firstly what the hell is the plot about? What is rule one? Secondly the acting is TERRIBLE. and these actors got paid for this dribble. If anything it's a film you laugh at cos it s such crap. Don't bother watching or wasting you money.
  • But this aint one.

    Someone is giving these guys money to make these films so more power to 'um but have some dignity and produce a horror that is just that. The scariest thing about this is the fact I wasted money to watch it.

    Smith has a catalogue of these terrible flicks to his credit and he should be ashamed that he does not have the ambition to up his game with the continuous opportunities that he is forever being given.

    Avoid any film you see with this filmmakers name attached in twenty different roles
  • Horror films these days are hit or miss, they're either really good or really bad and unfortunately this one was awful. I only needed to watch 5 minutes of it before I knew it would be terrible. Sadly I did watch the whole thing just to see if it got any better but it never did, the acting is atrocious, the plot makes no sense, the filming and effects were ridiculous. Can't believe I wasted money on it, definitely not worth watching. If I could've rated it minus 10 stars here I would have.
  • nogodnomasters12 September 2019
    Warning: Spoilers
    This is another Steven M. Smith doll film that should not have been made. Brendan Cobbs (Jon-Paul Gates) has writer's block. His agent sends him on a rural retreat. He gets a doll in the mail, one that we have seen come to life before and kill two people. Doll gives him nightmares and he is told to follow rule 1.

    Acting was bad. Could have used a decent soundtrack. Dull and boring for the most part. Even the writing within the script was sad.

    Guide: F-word. No sex or nudity.
  • karlos-3009228 December 2019
    Starts off o.k and I thought/hoped it would improve but it doesn't. The dialogue is difficult to understand when your finding out about why the doll kills people, I still don't know.
  • alec_walker-6442710 September 2020
    Not entirely sure what people have against this film. I thought it was excellent. Well shot, well performed and well edited. I think the haters aren't a big fan of Steven Smith and just want to annoy him with negative reviews. The film works extremely well for a low budget production. People are too critical these days...
  • A previous reviewer called doll cemetary an amazing horror and dismissed all the film's naysayers as haters before asking how would they fare making a movie with such limited resources? while it is indeed easy to admire director steven m smith's perseverance, the simple fact is that if you are charging the movie going/renting public money for your product ,you best exercise some quality control or rightly suffer the criticism. Sadly like director steven m smiths other efforts, doll cemetary is severely lacking in the quality control department, with its drab direction, limp acting, bad editing and poor script, you'd be hard pressed to find a more dreary way to spend 80 minutes of your life. George romero, john carpenter, sam raimi, john cassavettes,john waters etc etc long ago proved that a low budget doesnt have to result in a low quality product. The only requirements are a basic grip of film making, imagination,inspiration,passion,creativity and an eye of talent. As a huge genre fan, I really wanted to enjoy this movie, why else would you watch a film? but I was sorely disappointed.Dont waste your time.
  • This film is a masterpiece much better than anything Stephen king has ever done,some of the best acting I have ever seen, high budget film, brilliant storyline, high quality special effects,10 out of 10,film of the year.
  • ismith-1843718 May 2020
    Great comedy horror. Not sure if it's supposed to be funny but it is. The main character is brilliant even though he can't move his head from what I seen. He just moves his eyes. Not one to watch if you want anything serious but if you don't mind something that's so bad it's good then this is for you.
  • bernieswann27 March 2020
    Steven M. Smith has does it again - another amazing feat and another amazing horror.

    This is a film maker who knows how to make his non-existent budget work for him as another film hits the shelves.

    Loads of haters on the reviews, I wouldn't mind seeing the movies they make with the same limitations. Keep them coming.