Marriage Story

Although every story is individual, the film captures a couple of important general realities about the state of modern divorce:

1) Many divorces shouldn't happen and that includes this divorce as it was portrayed.

The couple had plenty of regard for each other which was demonstrated in several portrayed interactions between them. The divorce appears to be mostly motivated by their differing professional aspirations. No matter how justified these may have been, in my moral judgment they should have been secondary to providing a stable home for their child. Perhaps the saddest aspect of our modern society is that many of us fail to realize that life is best experienced by subjugating our own needs to those around us, most particularly within our immediate family and even more particularly to our minor children. This form of narcissism seems more prevalent in show business where successful careers depend on self promotion and that may explain why people in that occupation appear to divorce at a higher rate.

2) Our legal system exacerbates the divorce experience for those who have assets

In most cases at the time that the decision to divorce is made, the ensuing pain is underestimated by the couple. Rather than the anticipated experience of freedom and removal of a burden, the loss of companionship causes considerable pain and grief which is most often redirected as anger toward the other spouse. If the couple have assets and hire attorneys, it is in the financial interest of the legal professionals who are billing hourly to take advantage of this acrimony. Many family law lawyers are like the Alan Alda character in the film and do their best to address the emotional needs of their clients despite this financial reality but there are others who do not. Too often divorces cause huge financial pain for both parties.