- Dr. Ben Harmon: [to Madison and Behold] Sorry you got me at a bad time, I'm busy.
- Behold Chablis: You're dead! What do you have to do?
- Dr. Ben Harmon: I gotta look out the window and cry while I masturbate. It's my daily thing.
- Constance Langdon: [to Madison and Behold] Now who do you think you are, coming in here, swanning around, spewing vulgarities?
- Madison Montgomery: We're the new owners. Who are you?
- Constance Langdon: I'm Constance Langdon. And this... is my fucking house.
- Madison Montgomery: What do you want?
- Constance Langdon: To remove that insufferable cloudy-eyed ginger from these premises, permanently.
- Madison Montgomery: You want us to fire the help?
- Constance Langdon: Well, if you really do have witchcraft at your disposal, then why don't you just abracadabra that goddamn bitch out of my afterlife, huh? Bless me with some peace and quiet.
- Madison Montgomery: Who the hell are you?
- Billie Dean Howard: A friend of the house and it's residents. They don't take kindly to strangers.
- Behold Chablis: You ain't dead?
- Billie Dean Howard: Oh, honey, I'm one of the few live ones they let come and go.
- Billie Dean Howard: [to Constance about Madison and Behold] They're Witches, Constance. It's magic, not marriage that connects them.
- Vivien Harmon: [to Madison and Behold about Michael] The only thing I know is, Ben is not his father, nor is Tate. He was born from the evil of this house. The source of darkness is his true father, and he is here to destroy the world.