Nights at the Museum (2011)

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18 May 2018 | lor_
Very difficult to watch
I wasn't too surprised that I had to add this 2011 Brit Porn title just now to IMDb, as it is a truly awful example of the porn-parodies Paul Chaplin cranked out during this period, and not a big-budget production like his well-known ripoffs of Batman, Bonnie & Clyde, etc. Why it was permitted to escape into public view when a far more promising (per the trailer) "Baberunner(s)" feature has never seen the light of day is probably a case of litigation rearing its ugly yet justified head.

Making this far more dangerous for the viewer's psyche than the usual Bluebird nonsense is label owner Chaplin featuring himself in every scene, lasting nearly two and a half hours. He is hard to take for a minute or two, and here hogs the improvised dialog with maniacally stupid chatter that elicits only embarrassed or uncomfortable looks on the part of his lovely femme cast. Once more, the subject matter is orgy, orgy, all the time orgy.

That means the target of the ripoff, that hit movie series starring Ben Stiller, is merely a token excuse to get the group sex going, in each of five repetitive scenes. Lack of creativity (and production value) is obvious, as instead of interesting historical characters popping up we get merely Cleopatra and generic types, like a Cowgirl played by Lou Lou, an Indian Maiden essayed by Leila Bee or a 19th Century princess role for Black Angelika. With Jasmine Black in the cast the title of breast in show is no contest, and similarly busty Amanda Black is miscast as a school girl visiting the museum after hours and creating havoc.

At one point Chaplin has a fake conniption fit, afraid a visitor will say the word "live", and that causes the museum statues to come to life. Otherwise, merely touching one will do the trick for all of them. And when they come to life, they and anyone else in earshot becomes uncontrollably sexually aroused. Or to sum up, Chaplin is still stuck as a pornographer with a early to mid-20th Century stag film mindset, though his stags tend to run 3 or even 4 hours long.

And yes, Chaplin the employer gets to hump virtually all of the 11 femmes in his cast, outdoing even Harvey Weinstein in sleaziness.

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Adult | Fantasy


Release Date:

13 December 2011



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