WandaVision (TV Mini Series)

Filmed Before a Live Studio Audience (2021)

Elizabeth Olsen: Wanda Maximoff

Photos 

16 more photos

Quotes 

• Agnes : So what's a single gal like you doing rattling around this big house?

  Wanda Maximoff : Oh, no, I'm not single.

  Agnes : Oh, I don't see a ring.

  Wanda Maximoff : I assure you, I'm married. To a man. A human one and tall.

• [first lines] 

  Vision : [after Wanda accidentally hits him in the head with a levitating plate]  My wife and her flying saucers.

  Wanda Maximoff : My husband and his indestructible head.

  Vision : Aren't we a fine pair?

• Wanda Maximoff : What do you say to silver dollar pancakes, crispy hash browns, bacon, eggs, freshly squeezed orange juice, and black coffee?

  Vision : I say, "Oh, I don't eat food."

  Wanda Maximoff : Well, that explains the empty refrigerator.

• Wanda Maximoff : Who are those people?

  Vision : What are you wearing?

  Wanda Maximoff : Why are they here?

  Vision : What are you wearing?

  Wanda Maximoff : Well, it's our anniversary!

  Vision : Our anniversary of what?

  Wanda Maximoff : Well, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you!

  Vision : That, that man through there is my boss, Mr. Hart! And his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart! The heart on the calendar was an abbreviation!

  Wanda Maximoff : You move at the speed of sound and I can make a pen float through the air. Who needs to abbreviate?

  Vision : Darling, listen, it's all romantic to do the candles, the music, that stunning outfit...

  Wanda Maximoff : Well...

  Vision : I don't wanna be unappreciative, but right now...

  Wanda Maximoff : Your boss and his wife are expecting a home-cooked meal.

  Vision : Exactly.

  Wanda Maximoff : Any chance they'd settle for a single chocolate-covered strawberry split three ways?

• Vision : [calling Wanda, with two different understandings of an important date]  Listen, about tonight...

  Wanda Maximoff : Don't worry, dear. I have everything under control.

  Vision : Oh, well, that is a relief. I, uh, must confess, I'm really rather nervous.

  Wanda Maximoff : Nervous? Whatever for?

  Vision : Well, you know, darling, I still get a little tongue-tied.

  Wanda Maximoff : Vis, after all this time...

  Vision : There's an awful lot riding on this one, Wanda. If tonight doesn't go just so, I think this could be the end.

  Wanda Maximoff : Well, it's just one night. There's no need to get dramatic.

  Vision : Look, I think the best course of action is to impress the wife.

  Wanda Maximoff : And I think the best course of action is to impress the husband.

  Vision : Well, wonderful. Glad to know we're both on the same page. Until tonight, then, my darling.

  Wanda Maximoff : Until tonight.

• Wanda Maximoff : We are an unusual couple, you know?

  Vision : Oh, I don't think that was ever in question.

  Wanda Maximoff : What I mean is... we don't have an anniversary.

  Vision : Huh.

  Wanda Maximoff : Or a song. Or even wedding rings.

  Vision : Well, we could remedy that. Today could be our anniversary.

  Wanda Maximoff : Of what? Surviving our first dinner party?

  Vision : Precisely. And our song could be?

  Wanda Maximoff : "Yakkety Yak," naturally.

  Vision : Naturally.

  Wanda Maximoff : Hmm. And the rings?

  Vision : Well, couldn't you make some for us?

  [she does so] 

  Vision : I do. Do you?

  Wanda Maximoff : Yes. I do.

• Vision : Is there something special about today?

  Wanda Maximoff : Well, I know the apron is a bit much, dear, but I am doing my best to blend in.

  Vision : No, no, there on the calendar. Someone's drawn a little heart right above today's date.

  Wanda Maximoff : Oh, yes. The heart.

  Vision : Hmm.

  Wanda Maximoff : Well, don't tell me you have forgotten, Vis.

  Vision : Forgotten? Oh, Wanda, I'm incapable of forgetfulness. I remember everything. That's not an exaggeration. In fact, I'm incapable of exaggeration.

  Wanda Maximoff : Well, then tell me what's so important about today's date.

  Vision : [lost for words]  What was the question again?

• Vision : I couldn't find the lobsters, and did you want the meat tender or pulverized?

  Wanda Maximoff : Oh, dear.

  Vision : [she heads to the kitchen]  Well. I think tonight's going swimmingly. Anyone for Parcheesi?

  Mrs. Hart : My-my... my head is spinning.

  Vision : Oh, Mrs. Hart...

  Arthur Hart : Did you hear that? My wife's head is spinning. Generally speaking, I don't like her head to do that.

• Wanda Maximoff : Oh, what was I supposed to do next? Oh, what was the main course again? It was... Steak... no. Steak... Steak...

  [finding the right recipe card] 

  Wanda Maximoff : ...Diane!

  Vision : Yes? Oh, I think that must be my wife summoning me.

  Arthur Hart : She calls you Diane?

  Vision : Yes, it's her pet name for me.

• Agnes : You didn't answer the back door.

  [giving a pineapple to Wanda] 

  Agnes : For your upside-down cake.

  [seeing the Harts] 

  Agnes : Oh! Hi, I...

  Arthur Hart : [Wanda closes the door in her face]  Who was that?

  Wanda Maximoff : [simultaneously]  A salesman!

  Vision : Telegram. A man selling telegrams.

  Wanda Maximoff : Wouldn't you know it? Good news is more expensive.

• Wanda Maximoff : We are an unusual couple.

• Wanda Maximoff : I hope you're hungry.

  Arthur Hart : Starved, is more like it.

  Mrs. Hart : My head is-is starting to feel woozy.

  [in the kitchen, Vision hits a steak with the meat tenderizer] 

  Wanda Maximoff : [trying to distract the Harts]  Were either of you aware that married men are killing single men at an alarming rate?

  Arthur Hart : What are you going on about?

  [another whacking sound from the kitchen] 

  Arthur Hart : And what's going on in there?

• Vision : How can I be of assistance?

  Wanda Maximoff : Well, the chicken is no longer a chicken and the lobsters just flew the coop, so the steak is the last man standing. It says here I can cut down the prep time with a meat tenderizer.

  Vision : Excellent plan. Where's the tenderizer?

  Wanda Maximoff : [offering him the so-named kitchen tool]  I'm looking at him.

• Agnes : And you don't have a song? Nothing special you played at your wedding?

  Wanda Maximoff : No, nothing special.

  Agnes : I'll just loan you some records, then. So, we've got music covered, decor, wardrobe. Oh! What about seduction techniques?

  Wanda Maximoff : Oh, I have those.

  Agnes : Of course, you do.

  Wanda Maximoff : Just out of curiosity, what does it say?

  Agnes : That you should stumble when you walk into a room so he can catch you. It's romantic.

  Wanda Maximoff : Any other tricks?

  Agnes : You could point out that the death rate of single men is twice that of married men.

  Wanda Maximoff : Now, that's romantic.

• Mrs. Hart : So, where did you two move from? What brought you here? How long have you been married? And why don't you have children yet?

  Vision : [Wanda doesn't know what to say]  I think what my wife means to say is that we-we... we moved from...

  Wanda Maximoff : Yes, we moved from...

  Vision : And we were married...

  Wanda Maximoff : Yes, yes, we were married in...

  Arthur Hart : Well? Moved from where? Married when?

  Mrs. Hart : Now, patience, Arthur. They're setting up their story. Let them tell it.

• Arthur Hart : You know, I'm beginning to think you're not management material, Vision. You know, I had high hopes for you. But from what I've seen here tonight, you can barely keep it together. I mean, look around. There's all this chaos going on in your household. Now, when are we gonna eat?

  Wanda Maximoff : Dinner is served.

  Arthur Hart : Breakfast for dinner? How very, uh...

  Mrs. Hart : European.

• Wanda Maximoff : You move at the speed of sound and I can make a pen float through the air. Who needs to abbreviate?

• Agatha : Hello, dear. I'm Agnes, your neighbour to the right. My right, not yours. Forgive me for not stopping by sooner to welcome you to the block. My mother-in-law was in town, so I wasn't. So, what's your name? Where are you from? And more importantly, how's your bridge game, hon?

  Wanda Maximoff : I'm Wanda

  Agatha : Wanda, charmed.

• Vision : My wife and her flying saucers.

  Wanda Maximoff : My husband and his indestructible head!