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He Loves Me

Soft porn presented as as a self-indulgent art project
If you could do a degree in soft porn, this would be someone's dissertation. But it would be a bare pass.

You can almost see the "actors" responding to the director in real time. Washed out, desaturated colour for no obvious reason. Real sex for no obvious reason. No characterisation for no obvious reason. Droning monotone voiceover for no obvious reason.

This film has no obvious reason to exist, except to feed the film-maker's vanity. I couldn't wait for it to end. Avoid.

Der bewegte Mann

Laugh out loud? I did indeed.
I saw this film in Germany when it came out as I was living there at the time. It was one of the funniest films I ever saw. Some years later I got a subtitled copy back in England and was shocked at how unfunny it was when translated. Which goes to show that humour often only works in the language it was created in.

That said, it is still a very unstylised view of culture clashes and a study of how far people are prepared to go when they aren't getting any sex. No one gets what they want by the end: the gay man doesn't get his straight friend; the straight man doesn't get his free-love lifestyle; the straight woman doesn't get her angry singledom.

I guess the moral is that you can take the human out of their sexuality, but you can't take the sexuality out of the human. Trite, but it reflects the title of the film, referring to a proverbial fish out of water.

When the Sky Falls

A pale precursor
Having watched this *after* seeing the more recent Veronica Guerin (2003), I can only say: don't bother with this one if you want the real story. While this is an interesting story, they must have been hampered by lawyers as it uses precisely no real names and leaves you wondering if it was all made up. Sadly (or thankfully, depending on how you look at it) it wasn't made up, but see Cate Blanchett playing Guerin for real and you'll get a much better idea of what happened.


Historical accuracy
I only saw this film a few days ago and was struck by the beauty of the film as a whole. I found it neither boring, nor disjointed. Instead I was amazed at the man's life, the portrayal of the religious fear and bigotry of the time, and the terror of the plague. While I assume much of it can be put down to artistic licence, I come away from the film understanding more about the man, especially the fact that he wasn't some grizzled old madman.

I loved it, only finding Rutger Hauer's section somewhat unnecessary and peripheral, and his vision of the distant future too stylised. I would like to have known more about the rest of his life after the death of the King though...

Modern Vampires

The best "crap" film in ages
A hybrid this - a bit of The Lost Boys, a bit of Interview With The Vampire, a bit of Innocent Blood, a bit of An American Werewolf in Paris...

Immensely enjoyable on a highly superficial level, and it pushes camp horror to its limits.

The idea of socialite, Euro-trash vampires living it up in LA is fabulous, and the cast is perfect. It does seem though, that Rod Steiger had no idea it was a comedy and took it far too seriously.

Fine entertainment and gloriously stupid. Fabulous!

The Fifth Element

I cannot get enough of this film. Luc Besson is a terrific writer/director generally, but this is like nothing he has ever made.

The imagery is stunning in its colour and design; The costumes are mad as only Gaultier can manage; the story is wild and untamed.

Religion, science, war, good, and evil are all represented in this film, and it is done with a superb cast and a fluid script. Naturally, suspense of imagination is necessary, but it's sci-fi!

But this is non-conformist sci-fi. The future is bright and breezy, not dark and gloomy. Radio is alive and well - we're not all living in a hyper-technicised bubble, but roaming free with a loopy DJ in our ears, and whingeing mothers on the phone. It's the same, but it's different.

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