oarch

IMDb member since December 1999
    Lifetime Total
    25+
    Lifetime Plot
    1+
    IMDb Member
    24 years

Reviews

8-Bit Christmas
(2021)

Watched it with my 6 year old son and we loved it
It's not Citizen Kane but it's enjoyable, funny, intelligent, heartwarming story. I'm of the similar age as the main hero so I totally identified. My 6 year old son loved it too and asked me tons of funny questions that made me realize just how much things have changed over the last 30 years. Watch it, it's fun.

The Croods: A New Age
(2020)

Not for kids
My son, 5, loved the first movie. I could tell he was bored with this one, he was wondering what were they saying and what was going on. I understand parents watch movies together with their kids so they have to include material to entertain parents too, but with this they managed to bore both the kid and the parent.

Nobody
(2021)

Lower your expectations to rock bottom
You watch a trailer and think "well, maybe there's a little twist, something remotely intelligent or interesting about this movie? There's no way they would make a movie in 2020 that's utterly devoid of thought whatsoever?" No, sorry. It's THAT dumb. Just pointless illogical punching and shooting from start to finish. Our hero, who is curiously bored throughout the whole movie, is a superman and everyone else is a subhuman imbecile who lived, slept, ate and worked out for 30 years just so they'd have the pleasure of dying at the hands of a bored American. You'd think he'd get at least a little injured, but no, he finishes the movie as healthy as an ox, ready for more. It's a feast for an empty head. Since it's recently become a bit politically sensitive to shoot Black people for no reason in America, and since Asians and Latinos are also major customers of the movie industry, and since we all know that white Western Europeans are very rarely criminals, they'd have to settle for that one remaining ethnic group who everyone is still free to openly victimize, the Russians.

Promising Young Woman
(2020)

As subtle as a sledgehammer
I have to say this movie was a bit boring, despite the admirable and necessary crusade against rape. Very cartoonish characters, a bit like a mafia movie where everyone has acne scars, wears black and talks about popping people all the time. The scene in the restaurant with her "friend" from university is so full of chiches it's nauseating - did they really have to use every single phrase that horrible people like her use some of the time - all at once? I got sick of looking at this parade of despicable people, from bad to worse, relentlessly. It's as much fun as homework in calculus.

A Good Woman Is Hard to Find
(2019)

Watchable but with annoying plot holes
It's not like I had to stop this and swear. It's a perfectly watchable film set in Northern Ireland inside a neighborhood with unusually high crime rate, which kind of surprised me. But what surprised me more is that a sexy single mother with two small children would keep the extremely flimsy door to her apartment unlocked. Call me paranoid, but I would save for months to install a decent door if I were living in that neighborhood. Also, she keeps a big knife in the bedroom, just in case a rapist decides to break in through the flimsy back door. What surprised me the most, however, is that three murderous drug dealers would let anyone carry a large bag into their lair without paying any attention to what is inside the bag. With a few corrections here and there, the storyline could have been a lot more convincing. Other than that, I was entertained.

The Assistant
(2019)

Slow and uninteresting
Half way though the movie I really thought all this boredom is bound to pay off in the end. The end came and absolutely nothing happened. It's amazing how little is said in this movie on a subject that's so interesting. And the subject here is corruption, sex, abuse, movies, power, money... and the filmmaker managed to make it all dead boring.

Bad Trip
(2021)

It's not bad, but not so great either
The premise is OK but not all jokes are all that funny. Strangely, a joke from the trailer I've seen doesn't appear in the actual movie. All in all, it's entertaining but not side splitting funny, which is what you want this type of movie to be.

Tenure
(2008)

Stupid, awful - don't believe fake reviews on IMDb
This movie is plain stupid. I don't know if you can call this a "comedy" if there's not a single funny thing in it.

It's more like a tragedy. Jokes are, without exception, awful. Whoever wrote this dross is a hopeless case.

Nothing makes any sense, characters go squarely against their own stated interests for absolutely no reason - all the time. Characters do completely unreasonable things for no reason other to make the storyline amusing, but it backfires every single time.

It's really a mystery how a movie written so badly can be made. I mean, have these actors and producers even read the script before making the decision to participate in it? I find it hard to believe that an educated, intelligent person could find this script good enough.

Once you see the movie, it will be VERY obvious that the positive reviews on IMDb were written exclusively by people associated with this hopeless movie. "Fantastic!!!", says one of them. Yeah, right. Fantastically awful.

El secreto de sus ojos
(2009)

Not bad
This is an OK film. I would not say it deserves the Oscar it got, though. I've seen most of the winners in the "foreign film" category over the past decade or so, and I think this movie, although decent, is not in the "best of the year" category.

Although I liked the movie generally, I have more than a few issues with it.

A have a problem with the way they figured out who raped and killed the woman. It was simply based on the way some childhood friend looked at her in a couple of old photos. It's ridiculous and kind of embarrassing. As this is work based on fiction, I think viewers deserve a little less insulting grounds for suspicion than a couple of evil-eye-type looks. I actually expected that the guy they caught didn't do it after all, as their evidence amounted to a big fat zero.

I understand that many things were lost in translation (I watched it with English subtitles) and Argentinian culture, relationships, environment, sense of humor and so on could be quite different from mine or anyone else's. However, I felt that the plot details were sometimes a little confusing until they were clarified later or became obvious. I don't know if that's because of difference in their local approach to storytelling or if it was simply a flaw on the part of screenwriter or director.

Also, characters looked exactly the same in present as they looked 25 years before. It's really confusing to distinguish what's happening when if a guy looks the same when he's 35 and 60. A couple of gray hairs is just not enough for a viewer to figure out he's suddenly 25 years older. Also, none of the decor, technology, hairstyles or cars seem to change in Argentina in 25 years, at least according to this movie. A little weird, when you think about it.

I don't know why they bothered with the continuous stadium shot. It's really nothing special and it adds absolutely nothing to the story. They should have saved the money and invested it into some make-up for actors to make them look older or younger.

All in all, an OK movie that could have used a lot of tweaks to make it more polished, professional and ultimately more believable.

Sherlock Holmes
(2009)

Insipid and boring
Maybe I'm getting old, but maybe this movie is just stupid.

Most of the time various people just run around like headless chicken. Any B-movie from the 80s had a more solid plot than this waste of celluloid.

The only difference is the production, but not even that is very impressive.

I guess this is the way Hollywood movies are made these days, but I think when our kids see this in 20 years time they will think "how could you watch this junk willingly?" I could forgive over the top acting, I could forgive over the top everything else, but I can't forgive that they forgot to conceive a plot for this.

It's one of those movies that you struggle to remember whether you've seen it or you've just seen the trailer and someone warned you not to waste time with it. Well, I've seen it and I warn you not to waste time with it.

Inglourious Basterds
(2009)

Manipulative, entertaining, stupid, ridiculous, unethical
Overall the movie feels like a fraud to me.

On one hand, it is quite funny and mostly entertaining. On the other, it's just utterly ridiculous and makes fun of 50 million people who died in the war.

I understand that our generation cannot comprehend the gravity of such an incredible catastrophe called the World War II, but I think making fun of it is irresponsible and stupid.

Tarantino must be laughing his ass off at the success of his glorious manipulations. He calls Jews murderers, French women whores, Americans retarded, Germans traitors and he still gets standing ovations and great reviews. The guy knows his business. What's next? I doubt he's going to stop, I think it's only going to get worse.

Ordinary People
(2009)

Extremely boring and pointless
I saw Ordinary People at a film festival in Novi Sad, Serbia. It looks like it attempts to tell us something about war, death, crime and people who are involved in it. But I don't think it succeeds at anything other than boring the audience to tears.

It's a story about boredom and emptiness of lives of one group of soldiers who end up being war criminals. Throughout the movie, they mostly just sit around, drink, smoke, talk very little and look really bored, while audience does pretty much the same. Characters seem to be very bored so they kill time by occasionally executing prisoners. There is no context, no background and no story, it's just about a random bored group of individuals with guns executing another, similar looking random bored group of individuals without guns.

It must be hard to make an otherwise very real human tragedy seem so boring, but the director manages it very well. The film drags on for 1 hour and 20 minutes and at the end you cannot help but be amazed at how little you can see in such a long time.

Vec vidjeno
(1987)

Very good
Now I'm not saying this is a masterpiece, but it is nonetheless a very interesting movie. It is definitely worth seeing, if you get a chance.

The storyline follows the life of a child whose posh family disintegrated following the arrival of communists in Belgrade, Serbia.

The loss of his family, societal status and dignity and the perceived lack of morals in the communist society drives him further and further away from the mainstream and into loneliness, depression and murderous obsession.

The movie maybe tries a little too hard to represent the post-war communist society as a parade of ignorant, unsophisticated and violent peasants, freshly arrived from the mountains and villages but already ruling every aspect of the new society.

The film is really about violence, and about painful changes in society that war and violent revolutions bring.

The Final Cut
(2004)

The stupidest premise for a movie in a long time
Some reviewers say that the concept of this movie is interesting, but the execution not so good. I completely disagree.

The premise of The Final Cut is that people would want to spend 2 hours watching their relative's life after he or she died. Instead of using the normal video technology, people insert a "chip" into their heads so that when they die, a "cutter" composes a movie from their lives.

Can you imagine a more ridiculous and degrading event: your relative died, you're sad and grieving, but subject yourself to watching a melodramatic representation of his/her whole life in two hours? That is so depressing that I think it would bring a lot of people to the edge of a suicide on the spot.

Apart from making this idiotic idea the basis for this movie, someone imagined that this technology would somehow be so important in the future that adverts for it would be everywhere and people would be talking about nothing but this lame chip. No wonder I pressed and held Fast Forward (32X) button on my remote midway through this movie.

I strongly suggest you don't waste your time with The Final Cut.

Mi nismo andjeli 2
(2005)

An excellent sequel
I've just seen this movie, unfortunately on a bad DIVX since I live abroad, and I can only say nice things about it. It's funny, uplifting and stylish. The look and pace are very similar to the original, only more polished in every way. I loved the storyline, the characters are amusing, jokes funny, and the daughter is hot enough to be believable as Belgrade's teenage uberbabe.

This, being a sequel, is obviously not going to be a classic, but I think that everyone who has seen and liked the original will almost certainly like this sequel as well.

Very pleasantly surprised! 8/10.

Nochnoy dozor
(2004)

What the hell is this movie about?
The first condition of liking a movie, or even having an opinion of it, is to even remotely understand its plot line. The only major thing I understood is that the movie is about a fight between good and evil. It's difficult for me to criticize it since I didn't understand most of the plot. People running around, flies buzzing, cars chasing, truckload of different characters each looking alike, non-stop action without a point or purpose. The movie starts off fast and gets nowhere equally fast.

Guys, you should have made sure the audience understands the plot (if there IS any) first.

To all Russian reviewers raving about "their" achievement - take it easy on patriotism, this is supposed to be about art and not about national pride and such nonsense. Not to mention that you have very little to be proud of in this movie.

The Center of the World
(2001)

Horrible
The script is disastrous, pretentious boring drivel. Whoever wrote those dialogues and plot is a loser who never had a meaningful relationship with anyone, or hopefully had one but absolutely no writing talent whatsoever.

The camera work is a pathetic attempt at presenting the movie as an 'art film', 'independent' or whatever is supposed to give it some value. The only reason I managed to get through to around 90% of this film is my friend who laughed at and ridiculed every single line of those fake dialogs. I mostly spend my time wondering how much worse is it going to get.

If people can actually get this kind of trash to DVD and cable TV, I wonder whether I should give up my profession and start making movies. I am convinced I can write a much better script than this junk.

Don't even think about watching this.

My Life Without Me
(2003)

Junk
What a fiasco.

These are VERY FEW of the worst things about this movie:

  • Although it tries *desperately* to communicate the desire to be a pointless sad movie, it failed every time. It's just pointless, but not sad.


  • The acting was mostly bad - why is everyone smiling if they're so miserable?


  • The sole purpose of that story about siamese twins left to die was to fake sadness and misery. I wonder why didn't they put a family dog in this movie and make a speeding car run it over - but it would have to be IN FRONT OF THE KIDS so it's SUPERSIZE SAD.


  • There was nothing wrong with the kids - that's a missed opportunity. They could have been suffering from a RARE facial disfigurement. That would have been much sadder than the lame granny's-lonely-birthday story.


  • The parents seem to be mentally healthy, happy and quite intelligent - why the hell are they cleaners?


  • The main character at one point mentions that her best friend in school (when she was EIGHT) told everyone she's a slut, and supposedly that's one of the things that made her life so unfortunate. I wish I was sooo "traumatized" when I was a kid, and I now don't live in a trailer. Where the hell are the scriptwriters living? In a world full of kids being chained to their beds, sexually and physically abused and God knows what else, she's complaining about some bimbo dumb event in elementary school.


  • The mother does not know her own daughter's shoe size off-hand.


  • The list goes on FOREVER.


FAKE FAKE FAKE.

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(2003)

Unimpressed
The movie is mostly a sequence of events with each bluntly announced before it occurs. I did not read the book so I had no idea what was going to happen, but at no point was I surprised. No twists in this one.

After 6 hours of the previous 2 movies, I would expect I would familiarize with characters and actually give a f*** about them, but they were all way too one-dimensional even after another 3 hours.

It would have been an OK movie if it wasn't for the incredibly cheesy, homo-erotic and, worst of all, overloooong long ending.

6/10.

Super Sucker
(2002)

As fun as having your teeth pulled and eyes poked at the same time
This was so unfunny words can't describe it. Why Jeff Daniels agreed to act in this loser, I have no idea. I watched about 45 minutes of it, and only because I rented it myself and did not want to offend friends by taking it out after 5 minutes. Now I have to rent 4-5 masterpieces to make up for the bad taste.

Avoid at all costs.

Mali svet
(2003)

Worst junk imaginable
I was fooled into watching this so-called movie because there was nothing else to see (that I haven't seen before) at a local theatre when I was in Belgrade. This junk is a total disgrace for Serbian cinematography. There is no coherent storyline, everything and everyone in this movie is completely lost in space and time. The dialogs sound as if they were written in order to stretch the movie to 1.5 hours. Dumb characters, which have zero depth, argue over trivialities that have absolutely no impact on anything. The jokes are not funny but utterly sad.

Avoid this trash at all costs.

The Lizzie McGuire Movie
(2003)

Academy, take notice.
The emotional depth of characters portrayed was immense. I cried like a baby at the end. Mindblowing acting of most of the protagonists. A script that makes Citizen Kane green with envy. All in all, if this movie doesn't win 8 Oscars, there's no justice in this world.

Cidade de Deus
(2002)

Boring
Misery, poverty, crime, murder, rape, laziness, drugs, robbery, stupidity.. you name it, it's in this movie. Every single possible form of vice and depravity was there. The very rock bottom of human race is presented with painful accuracy.

I personally quickly got tired of looking at such misery. Especially since I knew very well it actually does exist.

Bruce Almighty
(2003)

So and so
I was really looking forward to seeing Bruce Almighty. I loved The Mask, Dumb and Dumber and Liar Liar.

The first half of the movie is funny, but second is mostly boring. They should have stuck to comedy and avoided getting too much into heavy 'moral of the story' business.

All in all it wasn't bad, but not as much fun as the best of Jim Carrey.

The Hot Chick
(2002)

Don't waste your time
If what's making you laugh could be people hitting each other with pillows against the wall, then this might be for you.

Really unfunny. The only reason I smiled occasionally while watching this junk was a guy who sat near me with this idiotic hysterical laugh.

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