Nomad-7

IMDb member since February 2001
    Lifetime Total
    25+
    Lifetime Trivia
    1+
    IMDb Member
    23 years

Reviews

Night of the Giving Head
(2008)

Zombie movies can be made in any genre
This is a nothing-special pornographic movie made special by adding an unusual twist. The zombies are only women and they are not seeking brains.

Nobody watches porn for the acting. The zombie-ness is not so over-the-top as to get in the way of the porn. The porn is what anyone expects from a pornographic movie.

For me, the porn scenes were over long. I get the point. I'm ready for the next scene. (Porn movies always want to get their money's worth from the actresses, so they, you should pardon the expression, milk the scenes.)

The women are beautiful. They were no less beautiful for having gore smeared all over their bodies.

The story was no worse than in any zombie movie. The writing was no worse than any porn or zombie movie.

If you're looking for a zombie movie, look elsewhere. If you're looking for porn, you found it. There's a beginning, middle and end. The end is satisfying. The explanation of the zombies is as good as any other zombie movie.

On Trial Part 2: Oral Arguments
(1991)

Too much story, not enough Christy Canyon.
I picked up this movie in a yard sale. I thought it was about the Supreme Court. I was pleasantly surprised when I found out what it really was.

The court discussion of the sexual activities in the film are titillating, but they break up the sex scenes. The scenes with Christy Canyon are great, but there aren't enough of them and they re short. They're not whole scenes. They are "excerpts from the movies she was in," as part of the story.

This is a good movie, but the sex scenes are not a titillating as the could be.

Captain Organ
(2000)

Kobé Tai makes this picture!
Any movie with Kobé Tai in it is worth watching. She looks great dressed or undressed. She doesn't mind getting dirty with men or women. She can act, even though the part doesn't call for much acting. I would recommend any picture with her in it. This is a great movie!

The Blair Witch Project
(1999)

I didn't get it.
I think I understand what the film makers were trying to do, but I don't think they did it. I was interested in the characters. I liked the handling of the

degradation of their personalities and their relationship, but it was hard to suspend my disbelief to the point that I could accept that they (the characters) continued filming their "adventure." It was a good try. Interesting try at the style, but I don't think they made it. It might just be me. Maybe I just didn't understand.

Excalibur
(1981)

A brilliant retelling of a great classic.
The story is classic. The characters are "everyman." The actors are superb. The music is Wagner and Orf. If you only see one movie is your lifetime, this is one to consider. There are few movies of any sort that could match it.

The only "flaw" in the movie are the sex-while-wearing-armor scenes. These just don't ring true. However, the gorgeous, naked women more than take your

mind off this oddity.

Signs
(2002)

A bad remake of Night of the Living Dead
Bad script. Bad story. Incredibly bad casting. Uninteresting special effects. Insultingly stupid ending.

Whooda thought: An isolated group, besieged in a farmhouse by monsters.

The end is even more insulting. At least Night of the Living Dead has a great ending. Signs has all this religious crap about the dead warning the living about monsters that haven't shown up yet. Damn!

Love conquers all. Whooda thought? What a novel idea. ne ever made a movie in which someone's life was saved by eternal love!

If you want to see a great movie, see Night of the Living Dead. If you want to see a lousy remake, see Signs.

8 Heads in a Duffel Bag
(1997)

You'll laugh your head off!
Sure, there's nothing funny about a bagman carrying the heads of eight murdered men across the country, but this movie is a scream. Pesci is wonderful. The story is obvious--swapped luggage--but it's never been done like this before. You won't believe that you could laugh so hard at something this unfunny, but you will!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder
(2002)

Not as good as I had hoped...
...but better than I feared.

More bare breasts would have made it better. I saw the DVD not the cinema

version. I don't know what the difference is. I could have used a better "defined" person for the lead. The guy who played Van Wilder is much to vanilla pudding. Van Wilder should have been played by someone more memorable.

I liked all the "in-jokes" and comments.

Panic Room
(2002)

Not even a little impressed
The situation was terribly artificial. The characters were unbelievable. The story was peopled by idiots. There was never any explanation for why Raoul was

brought into the picture, who he was or where he came from. There was little

explanation as to why Burnham, who seems a decent man and who repeatedly

refers to the security company he owns, suddenly becomes involved in this

burglary turned robbery turned kidnapping and murder.

Meg is clearly an idiot. There were more than several times when she was

watching the burglars on her monitors and they were not in the bedroom. She

finally figured this out and got her cell phone. She was not smart enough to get the phone without knocking over a lamp to let the bad guys know she was out

of the room, but there were times after this that the room was empty. All she needed to do was open the door, lean out and call.

When she had the police at the door my six year old daughter rolled her eyes

and asked me why she didn't just tell the police what was going on and ask them to back off. If a six year old could think of it, why couldn't Meg Altman?

When the burglars were trapped in the panic room, they threatened to let her

daughter die if she didn't get out of the room so Raoul could get his hand

unstuck. "The police are already on the way. Do you want to add another

murder to the list of charges against you?" Meg is an idiot.

I am embarrassed to say that I saw this movie. I rated it a 3 because I really like Jodi Foster's work and I can't blame the lousy story on her.

A.I. Artificial Intelligence
(2001)

Dull, uninspired
Pinochio without the thrills. I chose it because it was supposed to be good. What a disappointment. Not only was it dull, but it didn't make a lot of sense. The music was supposed to be something to behold. If so, I don't know what.

Enemy at the Gates
(2001)

Mediocre fare
As a war movie, it was a mediocre lost story. As a love story, it was

a mediocre war movie. I hope the book is better.

Since I have to keep writing until this comment is at least four lines

long, I am going to continue writing , though I have nothing more to

say about the movie. It was not a particularly good war movie nor a

particularly good love story. (I guess I did have something else to

say about the movie.) It is always fun to see an actor one knows

from one movie in another movie. This had "Evie" from "The

Mummy" as the female lead. Got to see a brief shot of her ass

which looked nice, but was not worth wading through the rest of

this mediocre film.

Grand Canyon
(1991)

Loved the soundtrack, hated the movie.
That's about it. It has a great musical score, but the movie is insipid, dull and consequently hard to follow, but who cares. I have liked other Kasdan movies. I like Steve Martin, Kevin Cline and Danny Glover a lot, but I was terribly disappointed with the movie. Maybe I was expecting too much. There was a lot of hype before I saw it, but I really think it is/was simply a bad movie.

Dead Man on Campus
(1998)

Perhaps the stupidest, most gawdawful waste of time I have ever experienced.
The plot idea is terrific, but the writer, director, actors, etc. botched it beyond the measure of human endurance. There is nothing funny in the movie. There is nothing believable. There is nothing to relate to.

There were plenty of opportunities for female nudity, either to further the plot or just gratuitous, which would have been at least one reason to see the movie, but they were all missed.

This shameful excuse for a movie is an embarrassment to humanity. Hollywood

should disown all the people involved with the movie in any way.

Traci Takes Tokyo
(1986)

Nothing to write home about
This is a rather pedestrian porn movie. If you are looking for Traci Lords, don't look here. If you are just looking for an adult movie, this will serve as well as any.

The Sex Goddess
(1985)

A good way to see Traci Lords!
This is a good vehicle for Traci Lords. Her acting is as good as it ever is, and her body and talents are played to perfection. If you are looking to see Traci at her best, this is one of them.

The Milagro Beanfield War
(1988)

It's a shame to turn such a fantastic book into such a mediocre movie.
It seems unlikely that anyone could do a better job turning this book into a movie. There is just too much content in the book and too little time in the movie, too much story in the book and too little depth in the movie, etc. This movie is probably as good as it gets, but it damns the book with its mediocrity.

Henry Aldrich Haunts a House
(1943)

Clever comedy about accidentally haunting a house
It is a complete mystery to me why none of the Henry Aldrich movies has ever been released on video. All of them are fun to watch and a genuine look at the way America used to be.

This is my favorite of the Henry Aldrich movies, though I was very young the first time I saw it and it scared me for years afterward.

Henry, Dizzy and their gang are living, breathing archetypes of Archie and Jughead, but without the large breasted girl friends. If you get a chance to see any one of these movies on television (I can't remember the last time I was aware of one being on TV, but they must be once in a while) don't miss it. You will thank me for having recommended it.

Quick Change
(1990)

Don't miss the first 20 minutes.
The bank robbery, which opens the movie, is terrific. The rest of the movie is vintage Bill Murray schtick, nothing new, but lots of fun especially for for Murray Fans. Geena Davis is gorgeous as ever, but never gets naked. Randy Quaid is great a Loomis.

The Lords of Discipline
(1983)

Lousy adaptation of perhaps the greatest book in the English language.
I saw this movie when it was first released. I have not seen it since. I hated it then. I hated it when I saw it today.

I don't know why I should have expected more. It would be impossible to put any of the music or poetry in Conroy's prose into a 2 hour movie script. It was a crime to even try.

The only good thing about seeing this movie again was seeing Michael Biehn before The Terminator, a nascent Judge Reinhold, Robert Prosky and a couple others as they were almost 20 years ago. There was nothing technically wrong with the movie, but it shared nothing with the book but its title and a couple of the character's names. Lousy adaptation.

Those Young Girls
(1984)

One of Traci's earliest efforts.
This is a fine movie with some of the greats in the industry and one who would turn the industry on its ear. See this movie.

The People vs. Larry Flynt
(1996)

Why should Larry Flynt have to go to jail to protect **your** freedom?!
Thought provoking look at the King of Sleeze. Few people will admit to liking what Larry Flynt does, though he sells millions of copies of Hustler each month. Fortunately, enough people are willing to admit that he has every right to do what he does. This movie, however idealized, makes that point over and over again. That point cannot be made often enough.

Larry Flynt has gone to jail to defend your right and my right to freedom of speech and freedom of the press.

Educating Mandy
(1985)

Watching this movie is illegal, but...
Tracy Lords, Christy Canyon and the rest of the ladies turn in great performances. (I guess the guys do too, but who cares?) You probably can't find a copy of this movie because Tracy Lords was only 17 when she made it, but if you get a chance, this is a porn movie with a plot, a story to tell and a powerful cast to tell it.

What Gets Me Hot!
(1984)

You won't believe she's only 16 years old!
You can't see this movie because Traci Lords lied about her age to get into pictures. Nonetheless, this is a great porn movie. Traci gives a fine performance. She and the rest of the ladies obviously enjoy what they are doing. The men do, too.

Though the script is nothing to write home about, the acting is acceptable and the sex is great.

Disorganized Crime
(1989)

I don't know why this is one of my favorite movies, but it is.
The plot is tight. The acting is flawless. The directing, script, scenery, casting are all well done. I watch this movie frequently, though I don't know what it is about the whole thing that grabs me. See it and drop me a line if you can figure out why I like it so much.

Paint Your Wagon
(1969)

Great music, great script, great acting
Lee Marvin. Clint Eastwood. Musical comedy.

What more needs to be said? The only thing missing is naked women, but with this movie, you hardly miss them.

See all reviews