Xophianic Reviews (77)

American Gods (2017–2021)

Excellent, but

[10/10 · 18 June 2017]

A great series but as another reviewer said, it is not meant for slow people or people who want their car crashes and chases tube fed to them. You actually have to use your brain for this one (sorry). As yet another reviewer wanted to put it, but I'm not quite sure if they were just pulling our leg with the spelling, this is mostly for the intellectually savvy. It also helps if you like art.

Like in all my reviews however, I urge you to watch it for yourself if you haven't yet. These days you have people living in less than optimum situations who don't get out much so they create accounts in order to be somehow relevant and try to sway public opinion. In the end though, only you know what you like and don't like and no one who isn't old enough to shave or have known the feel of a woman's caress can really sway your opinion no matter how much they try. Right?

One last thing. I was going to give it a 10, but I agree that it is overhanded with its political agenda, so I decided on an 8. Seeing the number of fake negative down ratings on the positive reviews and imagining there are at least a few negative fake reviews to back those up, brought it back up to a 10.

The Handmaid's Tale (2017– )

Preposterous

[9/10 · 29 April 2017]

People aren't really falling for the negative reviews, right? As a dude who has watched it with his girlfriend, I need to agree that the negative reviews are ridiculous. I can imagine the same person thumbing down the real reviews. Lol. Pathetic.

Mine is the only review you will need. j/k

Watch it. That's it. Don't let some repressed and self-deluded person make your choices for you - they love that. Watch the first episode and decide for yourself. Do I believe it can happen? Maybe. Anything can happen. But the thing is, why are nutjobs taking it so serious if they don't think it could happen? If it's just a show with no basis in reality, why get all up in arms about it?

I thought it was well done. It is entertaining and compelling. 8 out of 10 stars but my GF made me give it a 9. Heh. Joking aside, I'd recommend it.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

BS Reviews

[2/10 · 25 April 2017]

My review will be short.

This movie is trash and has thousands of fake reviews because the reviewers are involved with the movie and it means money. That's all it comes down to.

You don't have to believe me. All you need to do is to use your eyes and a little bit of brain. Look at the cast and crew. You will scroll for days. Then look at the 10 star reviewer's join dates and how many movies they have reviewed. You don't need to be rocket scientist to see past the smoke screen.

The movie was garbage with no story line or plot except bad story lines and plot. I would say watch it now that it is on DVD, but the truth is even on DVD it is not worth it. Watch something better instead. Like paint drying or watching a plant grow.

The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

Excellent movie

[9/10 · 19 April 2017]

Finally, I saw this movie for the first time yesterday.

I bet everyone has already seen it, but just in case: Spoilers Below!

I've always heard and read that SILENCE OF THE LAMBS was a great movie, but I'd never seen it. Now I have, and I've learned that it wasn't all hype.

Silence of the Lambs is about an FBI-trainee named Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster) who is trying to track down and stop a serial killer named Buffalo Bill (Ted Levine) who has been killing girls throughout the country. In order to do so, she questions Dr. Hannibal Lector (Anthony Hopkins). Dr. Lector is a brilliant physiologist who is a convicted serial killer. He appears polite, but is actually a very dangerous and intelligent psychopath who eats his victims.

I can't express how great I thought this movie was. Just about every scene with Anthony Hopkins was mesmerizing, especially his dialogue with Jodie Foster. The last conversation between the two in this movie was chilling to the bone. Dr. Lector's escape was probably the greatest scene in the movie, while also one of the most disturbing. When he beats a helpless guard to death with a nightstick, it reminds you that he is not the harmless man that he looks like.

Anthony Hopkins, of course, stole the show. He stole every single scene he was in. Jodie Foster did a very good job also as the young, ambitious FBI trainee trying to put an end to another madman's reign and, in doing so, smother the pains of her past. Ted Levine also did a notable job as another very different madman than Lector. I sincerely hated Levine's character by the end of this movie.

There are many memorable scenes in this movie. The prison break, as I mentioned earlier, is one of the more memorable ones. The most intense scene of the movie, in my opinion, is when Jodie Foster is being stalked in the dark near the end of the film. Anytime that Lector talks, you will probably feel shivers up your spine. This is one of the best movies I've ever seen.

If like me, you have not seen it in all these years, do it today. There is a reason this movie is a favorite of many people and crosses many genres.

Louis C.K. 2017 (2017 TV Special)

I don't understand the rating

[1/10 · 19 April 2017]

So we watched this with two friends and girlfriend's brother with her dad coming and sitting to watch for maybe ten or fifteen minutes before leaving. That's five and six people total. Room was in silence mostly with some small laughter from only my girlfriend. I found nothing funny in it and feel that Mr. C.K. was trying too hard to deliver material he didn't try hard enough to write. I wanted to include something to say the one joke he said was maybe funny, but looking back I can't pick any that were funny. After show was over we played poker and some discussion came up about comedians and friend said he saw Mr. C.K. in the past and he was much better. Maybe this is just case of no more to joke about. I don't mind the small amount paid to watch it for all of us, I only wish we made better choice of what to watch.

Royal Rumble (2001 TV Special)

One word: KANE!

[9/10 · 10 February 2001]

Along with Backlash, Fully Loaded and Summerslam (all year 2000), this was is one of my favorite WWF pay-per-views. Aside from Ivory vs Chyna (which was inexcusable crap), every match was solid and excellent. The Dudley Boyz vs Edge & Christian for the Tag Team Titles was very exciting and a good starter for the great pay-per-view. Kurt Angle vs Triple H for the WWF Title was very good, though it ended differently than I expected. Chris Benoit vs Chris Jericho for the Intercontinental Title was the best match of the night and definitely the best of the year so far.

And of course there was the main event, the Royal Rumble itself. It was very exciting and entertaining, with great action moments and very funny moments too. It featured the returns of the Big Show, Al Snow and Haku. It included funny moments from Drew Carey and the Honky Tonk Man. The overall Rumble was very good, with Stone Cold Steve Austin winning, of course.

Everybody knew Stone Cold was going to win, but the most impressive of the night was obviously Kane. Kane, who has always been one of my favorite wrestlers, was in the Royal Rumble for over an hour. He outlasted everybody and took out more wrestlers than anybody else did. Though he was one of the first ones out, he was also the last one eliminated, and it was almost disappointing to see Austin beat him. You've got to be impressed with Kane. It was truly his night.

Royal Rumble (2000 TV Special)

Another good WWF PPV event

[29 September 2000]

WWF is the greatest wrestling federation out there, by far. The year 2000 Royal Rumble was not the best of the year, but it was very good. This PPV was important in many ways. It showed the premiere of Tazz, who ended Kurt Angle's long time winning streak. It had a very memorable first-ever Tag Team Table Match, in which the Hardy Boyz defeated the Dudley Boyz, who are the true masters of tables. Chris Jericho became the undisputed Intercontinental Champion after defeating Chyna and Hardcore Holly. Triple H defended his WWF Title in an excellent "street fight" match against "Cactus Jack" Mick Foley. The Royal Rumble itself, in which 30 wrestlers would compete to be the last one thrown out of the ring, was the best of the night. The Rock won and became the Number One Contendor for the WWF Title and would recieve a title shot at Wrestlemania. The whole PPV was very entertaining and cool. The only bad thing was when Mae Young won the "Miss Rumble" Contest. No one wants to see a near-80 year old woman's breast! *YUCK!* But aside from that, very good.

WWF SmackDown! (2000 Video Game)

Very addicting, very fun

[8/10 · 24 June 2000]

This game is hard to put down what's you get into it. It's probably the best wrestling video game in a long time. You can fight or fight as all the WWF superstars like The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin Triple H, The Big Show, Mankind, The Undertaker, Kane and Chris Jericho. Unfortunately, it's just a little out of date and some great wrestlers like Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle. There are also a few wrestlers in there who aren't as big anymore or are just retired, like Gangrel and Mark Henry. This game also lacks commentators and there could be more interactions (rumors on the internet were that there was a lot more interaction than this game actually has). But the game is still excellent. You can make friends/enemies with other wrestlers, fight for championships, fight in PPV's, watch matches or even be the referree. This game is very fun and worth buying.

Perfect Strangers (1986–1993)

I miss this show!

[21 March 2000]

This show was one of my favorite sitcoms of all time. I have very fond memories of this show and I wish they'd bring it back on reruns somewhere. Bronson Pinchot (Balki) and Mark Linn-Baker (Larry) are the perfect match, each with very different kinds of humor. Larry has a more scheming, intellegent kind of humor. Balki has more of a dumb, physical kind of humor. The two balance it perfectly and make this show one of the funniest of it's time.

Jack & Jill (1999–2001)

The Amanda Peet show!

[5/10 · 27 February 2000]

I watch this show occasionally for a few reasons. One, I like the WB because of Angel and Buffy. Two, it seemed to have an interesting story and point of view. But the main reason is the adorable Amanda Peet who I think is one of the most beautiful girls on TV. I will watch an episode anytime just for her.

As for the rest of the show, all of the same when it comes to WB shows. It is interesting to see the girls and the guys talking about the same thing from two viewpoints, but it's all predictable stuff. It's a lot like Felicity and Buffy but older. Whoever was in charge of casting did an excellent job, because all the actresses are hot and I'm sure girls would find the guys attractive too. Once again, Amanda Peet is an angel. I also like Simon Rex because I saw him on Felicity and think he's a pretty good actor.

Anyway, I love the Amanda Peet show and will watch it whenever I see it on. As for the other elements of this show...it's not bad at all. Maybe not worth setting my VCR to tape it when I'm away, but worth watching when I see it on.

Reindeer Games (2000)

Would've been better with just a touch of more action

[7/10 · 27 February 2000]

I though REINDEER GAMES was a pretty good movie, especially compared to some other movies of the year 2000 so far, but I think there should have been a little more action than there actually was. There was quite a lot of buildup to the casino robbery, but when it finally got there, not much happened. The ending was very good. Just when you think you've identified all the twists, there's another one right there.

Rudy (Ben Affleck), a car-thief, and his cellmate Nick (James Frain), a guy who killed another man while defending his girlfriend, are both about to be freed from jail when Nick is murdered during a lunch fight. Rudy decides to pretend to be him when his pen-pal-like girlfriend Ashley (Charlize Theron), who never met Nick before, comes to find him. The two really hit it off and things are going well, until Ashley's brother Gabriel (Gary Sinise) finds Rudy and threatens to kill him if he doesn't help them get into and rob a casino, which the real Nick previously worked at.

The plot is actually pretty cool, but it's hard to believe that this bunch of idiot-thieves would really believe that this was the real Nick, even after he told them time after time that he wasn't. There are many great twists at the end which leads to an unpredictable, although somewhat unbelievable, ending. The characters are pretty cool, about half of which turn out to be different from whom you originally thought.

Ben Affleck, new to the action genre, did a pretty good job. After proving himself to be able to play very different parts, like in Dogma, Armageddon and now this, I think he is really going places. Charlize Theron did an OK job as well as the mysterious girlfriend of Nick. Gary Sinise stole the show. I really like this guy. Boy can he act! He's played so many different characters very well. Gary doesn't do as well as the villain as he did in SNAKE EYES or RANSOM, but he still did a very good and believable job.

The main flaw in this movie was the lack of action until the end. The casino robbery itself should've been more action-packed, like it seemed on the commercial. Even in the ending there was more irony and surprise than there was action. But the story and was action was there was still very well done. I'd recommend this movie over many of the movies out now.

Flowers for Algernon (2000 TV Movie)

Fair, but maybe a little fast if you didn't already know the story

[7/10 · 26 February 2000]

I already knew the story behind FLOWERS FOR ALGERNON before I saw the TV movie. I've always thought the story was, although maybe a little sad, a pretty interesting story. And I really like the way it was written when I read it, through the eyes of Charlie and his journal. I had once seen a very old version of FLOWERS FOR ALGERNON movie based on the book. As I recall, the acting was horrible and the movie was badly presented, but it was ok because it was true to the book. This one is the opposite. It's still very good, but it has good acting and was presented well, but is a little less similar to the book.

Charlie Gordan (Matthew Modine) is a retarded gentleman who wants more than anything to learn and be a genius. He attends regular classes for special people taught by the beautiful Alice Kinian (Kelli Williams). When Dr. Strauss (Ron Rifkin) is testing an operation that can make mentally retarded people incredibly smart, Alice sets Charlie up for it as a test. Charlie becomes incredibly smart, with an IQ over 200, but is very unhappy when he realizes that this whole time his so-called "friends" were actually mocking him behind his back. Just as he starts to find happiness when he falls in love with Alice, and Alice falls in love with him, he learns that the effects of the operation are only temporary and has to try his hardest to learn how to stop from becoming retarded again.

This movie lacks a few things from the original. One is that it is not presented through the viewpoint of Charlie's journal, of course. This couldn't have been done, but it was a lot better from that viewpoint. Algernon, the mouse that was another test for this operation that Charlie makes friends with, is underplayed. It's strange to say a mouse was underplayed, but it's true. Considering that Algernon is in the title, this is strange. The beginning of this movie is also kind of rushed and can be confusing if you didn't already know the story.

But the solid acting and great dramatic scenes make up for all the faults. Matthew Modine does great as both the stupid and smart Charlie Gordan. Kelli Williams certainly stole the show. Whether she was crying or laughing, the emotions seemed so real. She did an excellent job.

One thing that I found very strange was that many places, even this database, listed this movie as a comedy. It's no comedy. What are we expected to laugh at? The ignorant retarded people? Do you find that funny? I sure didn't. This movie is way more of a drama with an interesting plot. It's certainly not a comedy.

I'd recommend reading the original story above seeing this movie. But if it came down to a choice between this one and the older movie based on the same story, I'd choose this one in a heartbeat. If it's ever on TV again, it's certainly worth watching.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997–2003)

One of my favorites!

[25 February 2000]

BUFFY is one of my favorite shows. I watched it not really expecting anything great because the movie was horrible. But I couldn't believe how well Joss Whendon had changed it around and made it not only bearable, but great! It's got love, horror, comedy, action, adventure, you name it! And some good actors too.

Sarah Michelle Gellar is the coolest, and Buffy is a really cool character. I also love Anya, Willow, Spike, Amy and Ms. Calendar. Xander, Giles, Riley, Oz, Cordelia, Angel and all the rest are great too. Even the ANGEL spinoff is one of my favorite shows, and that hardly ever happens with a spinoff for me. The character development is the best on TV when it comes to this show. You learn to love these characters, and when they leave or die, it's like Joss ripped your heart out.

I don't think Season 4 is quite as good as Seasons 2 & 3, but it's much better than 1. But all of them were/are great. There's always fresh new ideas and it never gets old. I LOVE THIS SHOW!

Strangers with Candy (1999–2000)

Clever and funny

[23 February 2000]

When I saw the commercials for this show, I thought it looked stupid and annoying. But I gave it a chance, and loved it. I think this show, although a bit strange and sometimes extreme, is very very funny. I find myself still laughing at some of the jokes days after I watch it. It's very different from most sitcoms, and most of the timing and originality of the jokes are pulled off terrifically. Amy Sedaris is incredible as the strange (and really ugly) Jerri Blank. Steven Colbert is also really funny. Give this show a chance, you will not regret it.

Upright Citizens Brigade (1998–2000)

Great sketch comedy

[23 February 2000]

I love sketch comedy. SNL and The Daily Show are two of my favourite shows ever, and I also like Monty Python and Kids in the Wall a lot. So I was willing to try out Upright Citizens Brigade. The commercials were right, this is some seriously ****ed up sketch comedy, but it's also pretty funny. The way they tie stuff together at the beginning is great, and hardly ever done in sketch comedy. The timing is great, the jokes are funny and the show is original. What more could you want. I also really like Amy Poehler, the cute, funny and talented comedienne who steals every scene she's in.

South Park (1997– )

Regardless, I like this show

[23 February 2000]

OK, so it's a bunch of badly animated cartoon characters most cursing, fighting, delivering toilet humor and offending just about everyone. Regardless, I like this show. If you don't get offended by everything and can just enjoy yourself every once in a while and take a joke, you could too. The humor is toilet humor (no pun intended about Mr. Hankey, who I don't think is funny), but it's very funny and makes fun of certain issues that really do need to be made fun of. I really find the stereotypes spread throughout this show too (fat kid, Jewish kid, British kid, black starving kid from Sally Struthers commercials, etc) because I think they're funny. This isn't my usual type of humor, though, and I do perfer good sketch, improv or standup comedy, but this is a very clever and fun show.

VS. (1999– )

I wish I could say I like this show, but...

[22 February 2000]

I really wish I could say I like this show, because I like the similar WIN BEN STIENS MONEY, I like Comedy Central and I like Greg Proops (I love WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY) but I don't think this show is funny or clever enough for me to say I really like. It does have some funny moments (like when the supermodels would come up with stupid answers) but the jokes produced by Greg are really not especially witty and often recycled. The announcer Joe Liss tries to hard to be funny, too. Aside from the question catagories that are a lot like WIN BEN STIENS MONEY, the show is a very original idea that leads to laughs. Pitting Cowboys against Indians and Mall Santas against Elvis Impersonators can produce some funny gags, but stick to Ben Stien's show.

Premium Blend (1997–2006)

A collection of cliches

[22 February 2000]

So far from what I've seen of this show has been a bunch of standard standup guys doing material that had been done many times before in standup past. There are some exceptions (I remember one guy doing a very very funny thing about physics that had never been done before) but most of these standup guys aren't too original. I also find the host, Jim Breuer, to be more annoying than funny. But hey, I like standup and if you do to this is a pretty fair watch. Just don't put time aside to watch it.

Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (I) (1999–2020)

Very original and fun game show

[21 February 2000]

I think WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE? get too much bad press. Maybe not from this database, but it does from other places, like TV and magazines. I like the fact that you don't need a Harvard degree to answer these questions, and I don't think they are too easy or too hard. I think, even though I know a British version was done, that this is a very original idea for a game show. I think this show is pretty suspenseful for a game show because you can truly play along at home, which I often do. Regis is a great host too. I think he's funny, even though the "final answer" thing gets old. (But he has to say it!) I hope that this show lasts a long time and those loser insurance people realize they have a great thing here and don't stop it.

The Whole Nine Yards (2000)

One of my two favorite movies of the year 2000 so far!

[9/10 · 20 February 2000]

This is my favorite movie so far of the year 2000, along with SCREAM 3 or just a little better. I have always liked Bruce Willis and Matthew Perry, and I also quite like Michael Duncan and Amanda Peet. And of course, I love a good comedy. So I was pretty excited to see THE WHOLE NINE YARDS. It did not live up to my expectations…it soared past them.

A resident of Canada, Oz Osercansky (Matthew Perry) is a dentist who is living with a wife (Rosanna Arquette) who he hates and she hates him, but they don't get a divorce for money reasons. When a hit man named Jimmy "the Tulip" Tudeski (Bruce Willis) moves in next door, Oz finds out his wife is trying to find hit men that will kill him. Jimmy, who takes a liking to Oz, doesn't agree to kill Oz, but seeks Oz's help in getting Jimmy's wife, Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge), and his enemy, Yanni (Kevin Pollak), together so he can kill them. Oz, along with another hit man named Frankie Figs (Michael Duncan) finds himself unwittingly helping, but he starts to fall in love with Cynthia and won't let her die.

My plot description sounds quite bad, but the movie is very good and funny. The collection of actors in this movie are superb. Bruce Willis is good as the loveable murderer. Matthew Perry does a great comedic job as usual. Michael Duncan fit the part of the really big and scary hit man pretty well too. The adorable Amanda Peet was really good too as the hit-woman wannabe.

I saw ANALYZE THIS a few days before I saw this, and I thought this one blew it away. The actors are better, the characters are cooler, the jokes are funnier (I was laughing out loud on many occasions) and the mixture of crime and comedy is pulled off a lot better in this movie, which is strange because there is more crime in this one than in ANALYZE THIS. Both the comedy and the crime are pulled off terrifically. Go see this movie now, you'll love it.

Analyze This (1999)

Good mixture of comedy and crime-action

[8/10 · 18 February 2000]

I was looking forward to seeing ANALYZE THIS for many reasons. One, Billy Crystal is one great and funny comedian. Two, Robert De Niro is the king of crime-action movies. I mean, ever saw THE UNTOUCHABLES? Three, the storyline did seem like a very good idea that had never been done before. And four, I love Lisa Kudrow. I was not disappointed with this movie. There could have been more, but it is surely worth seeing. There were only a few instances that I started to really laugh, but there were plenty of good and funny jokes, as well as some good touches of mobster-like crime.

Ben Sobol (Billy Crystal) is a family psychiatrist who has a son and is engaged to the beautiful Laura MacNamara (Lisa Kudrow). He gets into a car accident with a dim-witted man Jelly (Joe Viterelli), who happens to be the right-hand man to Paul Vitti, (Robert De Niro) the most powerful mobster in New York. This leads to Vitti seeking the help of Sobol. Vitti gets into very emotional moods and anxiety attacks. He refuses to admit it because he doesn't want to show weakness before a big meeting with the heads of the mob group. Sobol must help Vitti realize his problems with his father, as well as try to survive among the gangsters.

The plot is very original and cool, but the unlikely mixture of crime and comedy might leave a stale taste in your mouth. The curse words in this movie can get a little out of hand for a comedy, but that's because of the crime added to it. They did not bother me at all, in fact I thought it was funny and pulled of very well, especially in scenes between Crystal and De Niro.

Billy Crystal and Robert De Niro work great together. Both do very good jobs at their performances, even though De Niro's crying scenes seemed a little fake. The one at the end was getting better, but they still looked forced. The gorgeous Lisa Kudrow, although probably a bit under-played, did a good job too. I also think Joe Viterelli did a good job as the stupid, funny mobster. He certainly looks the part of a mobster, and I think the comic touch in his role was pulled off well.

There were a few plot holes, however, such as the one with Billy Crystal's character having problems with his father. This is, arguably, used to further the plot between De Niro and his father, but it is never resolved for Crystal. There are also a few jokes that didn't work, but the jokes that do work completely make up for them. This movie is different from your average SNL-alumni comedy movie, but it's full of funny jokes and characters and is certainly worth a rent.

The Daily Show (1996– )

Very original, very creative, very funny, very cool

[9/10 · 18 February 2000]

THE DAILY SHOW is one of my favorite television shows. In a similar style of Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update, THE DAILY SHOW delivers the news with a comedic sense, and then the host/anchorman, Jon Stewart, will interview a celebrity for four minutes. This show is informative as well as funny, because the news and interviews are all real with a comedic spin to them. Jon Stewart is very funny and talented and is much better than Craig Kilborn, who was also very good. Steven Colbert, Beth Littleford, Lewis Black, Vance Degeneres (better than his sister, for sure!), Mo Rocca and Steven Carell are all very talented comedians. Every episode is just as good as the next and it never gets old.

Friends (1994–2004)

One of the best sitcoms on now

[18 February 2000]

FRIENDS is one of my three favorite sitcoms, along with SEINFELD and THE DREW CAREY SHOW. FREINDS reminds me a lot of THE DREW CAREY SHOW because of the great humor and timing. All the jokes are very funny and pulled off teriffically. All the characters are very funny in different ways. Joey is stupid, Pheobe is crazy, Monica is the neat freak, Chandler, Rachel and Ross are somewhere in between. My all-around favorite of the six is Chandler and I think Matthew Perry is hilarious. The three girls (I can't comment for the guys) are gorgeous. This is what all sitcoms should be like.

Ellen (1994–1998)

One of the worst sitcoms I've ever seen

[18 February 2000]

I hated ELLEN and am glad it's gone. I never ever liked Ellen Degeneres (her brother Vance is much funnier) because I found her form of comedy annoying. She is my least favorite comedian aside from Bob Sagat. The first few seasons of this show I just found very stupid and non-funny. When Ellen announced her lesbianism, it got worse. Let me make it clear that I do not mind that Ellen is gay, but I just hate how every joke in the entire show was about her being a lesbian. It was unbearable, and made the already bad show worse. I'm glad it's over and I can't believe it lasted as long as it did.

Seinfeld (1989–1998)

The second best sitcom of all time!

[18 February 2000]

Aside from THE DREW CAREY SHOW, this is the best sitcom on TV, beating out my other favorite, FRIENDS. SEINFELD is the most original sitcom ever, and I think that it has changed the way sitcoms are. This "show about nothing" has some of the funniest jokes and gags on TV, such at "The Contest" and "The Soup Nazi". Jerry, Elaine, Kramer and George are great, and the four actors together work wonderfully. I am sad that it's gone, but I'll be watching re-runs for a long long time.