Beast-5

I actually paid to see this movie. Fortunately, it was at a two-dollar theater. I had heard the stories of the alleged problems in the making of this thing, and after suffering through this misbegotten trash, I believe them all. The original STEPFORD WIVES is a classic horror film. The remake wants to be a satiric comedy, but it's not funny at all. There is nothing funny whatsoever in this project. It was genuinely embarrassing to watch; I hated the main characters, particularly Matthew Broderick, who was spectacularly miscast. I have seen some of the worst movies ever made, but this one deserves a special place in the annals of filmdom, as it is a complete failure in every way.

SONGS FROM THE SECOND FLOOR is honestly one of the best films I have seen so far in my years of cinematic appreciation. Alice, below, nailed it in her analysis, and there's little I can add that would be useful. I also agree with the critics who compared it to what would happen if Monty Python set their sights on Bergman. The film is both a character study and a meditation on humanity, filled with transcendent moments of beauty that left me completely stunned. It is also a biting satire of corporate greed and its effects on society, and the search for hope in a dying, empty world filled with people who've basically given up. SONGS is a great film that everybody should see.

Frank Henenlotter's BASKET CASE is a grimy, dirty movie, and that's part of its appeal. On a shoestring budget, we are shown the dark side of the city, which in many ways was its most beautiful, with its movie theatres showing kung fu flicks and crazy denizens-New York as it really was. His work makes me think of Vittorio De Sica and Jorg Buttgereit, two other filmmakers who were not afraid to expose decayed terrain. I also like the fact that Henenlotter did not take an easy route; Duana and Belial are sympathetic characters, not monsters at all. The people who surround them are regular people instead of the usual beautiful people of today's Hollywood horror machine. BASKET CASE is a great, suspenseful horror film that happens to be bloody and violent, like the best operas. I wasn't thrilled with the ending, especially since there are two very good sequels, but that's not a major complaint.

SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY resembles the kind of movie they show endlessly on the Lifetime channel. The men are either weak and ineffectual or psychotic.It was rightfully parodied by the movie FATAL INSTINCT. For the most part, the cheese factor is high, with plot devices scattered about everywhere, as well as a number of holes mentioned in other reviews. The characters act the way they do because the story requires them to do so. The scenery is wonderful, particularly at the beginning with the boats and the ocean. Patrick Bergin is great as Julia Roberts's obsessive-compulsive creep of a husband. Roberts has more chemistry with him than anyone else in the movie...

The Midnight Movie has become a local institution. When they're not

yelling at each other and goofing off, these guys show some excellent movies. Some of them are so obscure I would not know of their existence until these guys show it. They top it off with hilarious skits that showcase Cleveland locales. Sometimes there are guests and prize giveaways. No matter what they do, it is obvious that they are united by a love of cinema and art and television as a whole needs more of that, as television has become a haven for talentless phonies, pretentious reality shows and the accentuation of complete idiots who don't belong anywhere

near a camera. Long live the Midnight Movie.

NAKED BLOOD is one of those movies that go way too far, showing the viewer things they don't want to see with no apology whatsoever. I had heard how extreme it was and wanted to see it. I was not disappointed, because there's an actual story happening here, not just mindless gore. Not that there's anything wrong with mindless gore...I just wasn't

prepared for the film to be so thought-provoking and beautiful.

Watching this movie was like stepping into a parallel universe,because the characters in this movie were not regular human beings. They were

shallow beyond belief,much like the rest of this movie,which is also far too long. I can honestly say that this is one of the worst movies I have ever seen,and I've seen some really bad movies...

The last thirty seconds of THEY suggest a better movie that could have been made instead of the one I watched. Basically, the characters are the usual bunch of stock characters you'd find in any dozen other horror flicks; there's not an interesting one in the bunch. I found myself rooting for the monsters and I wanted to learn more about the nature of these creatures. There's no suspense in this movie,or

the slightest bit of buildup; the film jumps from one scene to the other and the result is a movie that could have been so much better

than it was.

For every kid who ever thought there was a monster hiding in their closet comes vindication in MONSTERS,INC, a wonderfully funny and imaginative film filled with incredible visuals and surreal surprises.

THE TERMINATOR is an excellent movie, a true science fiction classic. James Cameron really captures the grimy underside of Los Angeles. The characters are vivid and sympathetic and Arnold Schwarzenegger is the only guy who could have played the Terminator. I've heard complaints

about how violent this movie is,and there are violent scenes,but there's also a compelling plot.

TETSUO is not a film for the easily shocked. It is shot in black-and-white,which makes the industrial landscape all the more palpable. It explores the relationship of man and machine,and what happens when the all the barriers between them are broken. It's not an easy film to find,but should the chance to view it arise,I recommend it. I found it absolutely fascinating; it is a brave,unflinching film that took me to places I had never been before.

SINGLE WHITE FEMALE is a very strange film about obsession. It is shot in dark,moody colors which enhance the tension between the characters. The script is intelligent,and the characters are well-drawn and vivid, making the violent termination of a few of them quite palpable. Watch out for that high heel!

Charlie Kaufman should be running Hollywood. ADAPTATION is a work of

such offbeat,lunatic genius that I sat in stunned delight while watching it,thinking,"Yes...THIS is why I love the cinema." Nicolas Cage

convincingly creates two different people in Charlie and Donald,and

their ideas and creative problems were extremely familiar to me,as an artist.

VIDEODROME is one of David Cronenberg's most gruesome, fascinating

films. It is an examination of violence and its effect on the viewer. Reality takes on a whole new meaning. It is especially relevant today; we have become so dependent on television that it might as well be enmeshed with the human form,right?

SWIMFAN is incredibly blue. Not even the movie BLUE was as blue as

this movie. Picture what would happen if PLAY MISTY FOR ME were set in a swimming pool and you might have an idea of what you're in store for here...

I saw IDENTITY the second day it was out,with a theatre full of people. Of course,there was one couple who brought their obstreporous kid,but they got out of there. Of course,they absorbed our death stares first, because this kid screamed like a banshee in need of Ritalin. Natural selection is just a theory,because those idiots would have been

weeded out long ago.

IDENTITY is one of those movies where things lie under the surface of reality...I think IDENTITY could become one of my favorite movies. It's wonderfully written, ominous, and truly scary. The filmmakers set out to tell you a story and tell it well. IDENTITY is 90 minutes of gleeful nastiness populated by people who have serious personal problems. The cast is wonderful,including Pruitt Taylor Vince, John Cusack, Jake Busey, and the invaluable John C. McGinley. I feel it's destined to become a classic. As for the ending...well,I thought it ruled. It was ridiculous, but it was wonderful. "Whores don't GET a second chance!"

They're re-running episodes of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA on the Sci-Fi channel right now,(replacing THE TWILIGHT ZONE) and all I can ask is "Why?" I had never seen it before,and after a few episodes,I can understand why it only lasted 17 or so episodes. The characters are lame beyond belief. I don't care about ANY of them. The villains are just as lame,following their "imperious" leader. From what I understand,GALACTICA 1980 is even worse...I can only imagine how bad that is...

Just thinking about POCAHONTAS makes me want to vomit. Just because it's an animated film does not give it license to play fast and loose with the truth. I didn't care about any of the characters in this

film,and I hated the songs. I hate it when a film talks AT you rather than TO you,and that is exactly what POCAHONTAS does. The animation is beautiful,I will give it that.

The original CUBE is one of my favorite movies,so naturally,I wanted

to watch HYPERCUBE,last night on the Sci-Fi Channel. I found it to be enormously disappointing. Much of the menace of the original CUBE is

gone; the dialogue is mostly flat and so are the characters, with the exception of Geraint Wyn Davies,who finds a sick,yet interesting way to cope with the multidimensional nature of the Hypercube. However,much

of the film is filled with gratuitous nastiness as the script attempts to justify a larger plot,which it doesn't need.The ending is just awful. Does it really matter what's going on outside the cube when the existential implications of being inside such a device are far more interesting? I wouldn't say no to CUBE 3. (Cube...cubed?) Hell,I'd write it myself.

Peter Jackson's BAD TASTE is both incredibly gross and laugh-out-loud funny. The plot...wait,what plot? Just sit back and gape in amazement at the absolutely insane things happening on the screen. Wonderful use is made of New Zealand's landscape and the actors look like they're having a bloody good time. Completely and totally wrong,and that's

the best praise I can give it.

Mere words cannot describe the lunacy of SURF II. I will say that there is no SURF I,so don't bother searching. SURF II is a movie

you watch on a blistering hot day in an air-conditioned room,like

WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S. There are weird visual gags and a host of

bizarre characters,including Eric Stoltz! Just surrender your brain cells and watch it.

MALICE has a lot on its mind; as a result,the viewer is told several interesting stories. This film is moody,with shadows both within and

without. The script is probably the best part,and the cast does a

great job with it,particularly Alec Baldwin,whose "God complex"

soliloquy is probably the highlight of the film. Nicole Kidman and

Bill Pullman are also great; however,it's Anne Bancroft who walks away with the movie. Gwyneth Paltrow also makes an appearance. MALICE is full of rich,dark colors that enhance the mood.

Trying to describe THE REFLECTING SKIN is impossible. You must experience it for yourself. I can say that it's about a kid named Seth. Seth does something horrible to a frog and then some really bad things happen to Seth,involving a mummified baby,his neighbor- a woman named Dolphin Blue-and a pack of teenagers in an ominous black car. THE REFLECTING SKIN is a pastoral film,but underneath the

beauty is genuine menace.

I saw the THE FOG once, a long time ago,and didn't appreciate it. I don't remember why. I just watched it again and can honestly say

that it is now one of the scariest movies I've ever seen. John

Carpenter uses the power of suggestion-as he did with HALLOWEEN-to create a classic horror film. The dead sailors are genuinely ominous sights and the cast is fantastic,featuring Adrienne Barbeau,Jamie Lee Curtis, Janet Leigh AND John Houseman. Carpenter creates a wonderfully moody atmosphere with the natural elements and the scenery.

There are moments in TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE that capture the spirit of the original television show. I really love THE TWILIGHT ZONE...at its best it was both terrifying and thought-provoking. Rod Serling was a genius,and when he wasn't writing,they had some of the best writers of that era available.

TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE is not a complete success. However,the

filmmakers' hearts were in the right place. There are four segments, and they improve as they go on:

The prologue,featuring Dan Aykroyd and Albert Brooks,is very funny until the rather shocking ending. Then comes the rather worthless first segment,directed by John Landis,which isn't even based on a TWILIGHT ZONE episode. Vic Morrow was killed filming it. He plays a bigot transported through Nazi Germany, a Klan hanging and Vietnam. This one's only noteworthy for the appearance of Mr. X himself,Steven Williams. ("How about PLEASE hold it down?")

Second on the program is Steven Spielberg's goopy,sentimental

butchering of "Kick The Can." The original "Kick The Can" had

an ambiguous feel to it. Here,Spielberg revels in what the

original merely suggested,and it's cute,but come on. Featuring a wonderful performance from Scatman Crothers and one moment of

genuine emotion ("I'm READY...")

Third: Joe Dante gets his hands on "It's a GOOD Life." Some seriously warped images in this one. Peanut butter hamburgers. Monster bunnies. Nancy "Bart Simpson" Cartwright being eaten by a cartoon. A cameo by Dick Miller. A genuinely cool climax ("Where are we?" "Nowhere...") and Kathleen Quinlan. What more could you want?

Fourth and best: George Miller's take on "Nightmare At 20,000 Feet." Definitely the best. John Lithgow's performance is nothing less than sensational. The music in this segment is closest to the TV series; it almost feels alive.

Overall,TWILIGHT ZONE THE MOVIE is definitely worth watching. I

wish they'd make another one. With modern technology,it'd really rock.