Niro

Just watched this today on TCM, where the other reviewers here saw it.

Sorry that I was the only one to find Davies a weak actress, with a truly awful attempt at an Irish (Irish-American or otherwise) accent. As she's the star, it was sort of hard for me to get past that -- especially as the other reviewers have said that this was her finest performance.

Another particularly terrible Davies performance was in "Marianne" (1929), which I also watched today. In this film, given a 9 of 10 rating here, her accent switches from that of a (correct) French woman to an odd combination of Italian and Swiss.

Interestingly, in TCM's one-hour bio of Davies -- "Captured on Film: The True Story of Marion Davies" (2001) -- film historian Jeanine Basinger claims that "one of the things that you note about Marion Davies in her sound work is how good she is at doing accents." Of course this bio also includes commentary by fans (make of that what you will).

Davies was a very attractive young woman, and by all accounts a terrific comedienne in real life.

And because a part of her anatomy added immeasurably to the real-life answer to Joseph Cotten's character's search for the meaning behind Kane's final word in the opening scene of the great "Citizen Kane," she's earned her spot among the great stories if Hollywood's history.

But I think Welles & Mankiewicz got it right for the most part with the "Susan Alexander" facsimile of the real article.

Don't bother voting as to whether you agree or disagree with this post as I really couldn't care less.

Just watched this today on TCM, where the other reviewers here saw it.

Sorry that I was the only one of two people to find Davies a weak actress, with a truly awful attempt at a French accent, which switches from French woman to an odd combination of Italian and Swiss.

She had the same problem with an equally fleeting Irish accent in 1932's "Peg O' My Heart." Interestingly, in TCM's one-hour bio of Davies -- "Captured on Film: The True Story of Marion Davies" (2001) -- film historian Jeanine Basinger claims that "one of the things that you note about Marion Davies in her sound work is how good she is at doing accents." Of course this bio also includes commentary by fans (make of that what you will).

Davies was a very attractive young woman, and by all accounts a terrific comedienne in real life.

And because a part of her anatomy added immeasurably to the real-life answer to Joseph Cotten's character's search for the meaning behind Kane's final word in the opening scene of the great "Citizen Kane," she's earned her spot among the great stories if Hollywood's history.

But I think Welles & Mankiewicz got it right for the most part with the "Susan Alexander" facsimile of the real article. And the drinking problem was spot-on, whether anyone at the time wanted to admit it or not.

Don't bother voting as to whether you agree or disagree with this post as I really couldn't care less.

I watched Beverly Hills Cops 1 & 2 today, as well as Fletch. Harold Faltermeyer's extremely annoying synth-pop soundtracks for all three couldn't have been more distracting.

Did the producers of these films honestly believe that no one would want to see them twenty years later and enjoy them? Apparently so.

'80s synth should have stayed with Miami Vice and TV shows of that ilk, which were rooted in the sound.

Watch a great film from that era and immerse yourself in the lack of an annoying soundtrack. Taxi Driver, anyone? PS: Vote against this comment, as it has little to do with the film itself, but I make a valid point.

Despite the fact that this is really an Arthur Penn indie film (released by UA yes, but made by Playfilm Productions)... it looks an awful lot like a 1962 TV-movie would, if they'd made them back then. Or maybe a Playhouse 90 drama.

Ernest Caparros's cin is pretty much just average, with all of the sets appearing way too sharp and angular.

Of course the performances are terrific but the cinematography and production design are seriously lacking. Difficult to watch in the 21st century without being distracted by those flaws (and I saw it when it originally was released).

The better disaster flicks of the early '70s had a certain charm -- and a formula: 1. Mix some A-list actors (or fairly recent A-listers) with a few B-listers 2. Add a script which offered a small dose of character development {just enough to make you give a damn whatever horror was about to befall most of them) 3. Stir in a huge disaster -- a skyscraper on fire, a jumbo jet in danger, a meteor rapidly approaching Earth, a gigantic cruise ship destined to meet an equally gigantic wave 4. Special effects to match the disaster at hand This film, which my cable provider's guide called " A worthy remake of the 1972 disaster epic, 'The Poseidon Adventure,'" offers none of the first two listed above, which is a real problem.

Utter no-names populate the film (with Kurt Russell and Richard Dreyfuss attempting to provide the star power -- not very well), with virtually no character development whatsoever.

In all fairness, how can you make us care about the 10 or so leads when the entire film comes in at just under 1:27 between the credits? Director Wolfgang Petersen ("Das Boot" and "The Neverending Story") should be ashamed of this dreck.

Even the FX are suspect (and a lot of CG) -- the initial wave hitting, and the subsequent terror in the ballroom, with all of the story lines crashing together, is a far cry from Irwin Allen's thrilling '72 original.

Not that the first was a great film by any means but come on -- no Christmas tree rescue? Avoid. If IMDb allowed reviewers to give 0 stars, this would get it from me.

Expected to see "Groundhog Day Meets Memento" as a subject of one of the moronic viewers here (although "See It 50 Times!!!" never seemed like a possible refrain so thought I'd try to jump that gun.

Taking the former's premise, penultimate bachelor/hound Sandler has to woo brain-damaged Drew every day in a (totally) different way...

Why he does this (in that totally different way) is never clear. Why she doesn't respond exactly the same way every day isn't clear either.

Which is okay.

My wife and I saw this the day it was released, and we were vacationing in Hawai'i, on Oahu, where some of this is filmed (and where all of it is set).

We'd just visited the Sea Life touristy park where Sandler's character is purportedly one of the marine biologists.

Side note: there are no walruses on any island of Hawai'i, so the entire opening comedy blitz is lame. Sea lions yes. Walruses no.

As for the film, it really couldn't be more manipulative. Some of the comedy yanks a laugh, many of the scenes with Barrymore draw tears.

Schneider's fairly good as a native Hawai'ian but his character is as stereotypical as you'll find (see the Honolulu Star-Bulletin for 2/13/04).

Oh yeah -- Sean Astin isn't a Hobbit here. As Barrymore's brother he's a lisping steroid-enhanced freak.

Literally not worth writing the rest of this review.

Truly a dog among barf jokes.

Rent "The Wedding Singer" if you'd like to see this pair go toe to slipper.

When you can't afford Matthew McC, hire Josh Lucas.

America's new sweetheart, Reese Witherspoon -- night now, Sandy B. -- does her best at holding this most formulaic so-called romance together.

Seriously, I'd type how I REALLY feel but I just realized that I'd be wasting more time than I did WATCHING this 122 minute fiasco.

If you don't see every single angle coming, then you might as well stop seeing films.

Utter trash.

And I'm not certain that a single stereotype goes unwrapped.

Reese, you're better than this.

But after "Legally Blonde" and this, you might have to re-prove yourself.

3/10

You'll pardon me for not concurring that this is Spielberg's best film in years (and Lord knows that he keeps sucking my wife and I into those $8.50 box-office tickets anyway).

"Minority Report" has been called the antithesis of this so-called 'breezy' film (because the parents in CMIYC "care" -- or at least one of them does) but that's giving Spielberg way too much credit.

A word of advice: don't watch "The Grifters" (which I did the night before viewing this mess), possibly the best con film this side of "The Sting."

Hell, don't even see the underrated "Harry in Your Pocket" or even "The Flim-Flam Man" before checking out this ultimate con of your $$$.

Funnily enough, the biggest con here is Steve grabbing the money he lost when you didn't see "A.I." or "Minority Report."

And what a mess it is: Tom Hanks manages the worst Massachusetts accent since the lamentable Costner's in "Thirteen Days" (and I'm one of the film snobs who actually LIKES Hanks -- his turn in this year's "Road to Perdition" is worthy of a nomination: not a win, mind you, but a nod).

Hanks' accent wouldn't be a problem if he wasn't in approximately every other scene.

The Saul Bass-inspired opening creds (think "Pink Panther" flix) and cool initial John Williams score suggests a fun retro film, but this just isn't. It's "Ocean's Eleven" sans the cool.

Dispensible characters come and go with no follow-up whatsoever (Jennifer Garner in a truly "what's she doing here?" cameo, Marty Sheen and his daughter-character -- who are actually important to the story, but disappear when their usefulness subsides: basically 10 minutes after their arrival).

Though "based on actual events," several interludes smell like Spielberg inventions, not the least of which are Leo's 'just missing' being caught episodes, which play out here like old Marx Bros. sketches -- without Groucho and Harpo and Ms. Dumont.

By the way, Leo's pretty good here (how can this 28-year-old still look 16?).

But while watching the film I couldn't help but wonder what the book was like -- and comparing Frank Abagnale, Jr.'s exploits as portrayed here to those of the fellow from Michigan who was arrested a few years back. The latter not only impersonated doctors, airline pilots and more but actually performed operations, flew planes, etc. From memory, the guy was the greatest impostor in history.

Oh wait, there *was* that old Tony Curtis film, "The Great Impostor" -- maybe I'll have to check that out again as well.

Christopher Walken's most endearing role ever (?) in a nice turn as Leo's dad can't overcome the average DP work, Hanks' worst performance in a few years, a really shoddy script and, well, STEVE.

Catch it not.

But *do* rent "The Grifters."

Or "Ocean's Eleven"... even the original. No wait -- stick with the *other* Steven's version ;)

4/10 Out

As a professional close-up magician, I find Blaine an interesting character: he came virtually out of nowhere (to magicians and the lay public) to become pretty much a household name.

I admired his cajones -- and some of his technical skills using very old and well-known magical effects in attempting to turn them into what his promos called "street magic."

Make no mistake... this cat's no "street magician."

Street magicians get PAID for their tricks, and not much -- they pass a hat -- generally they're fairly broke. Dave just walks up on (supposedly) unsuspecting folks, blows them away then slips into the sunset... or back to his room at the Four Seasons.

But Blaine does a few legitimately cool magic effects, primarily with cards, although most of the "actual" effects he performs -- those which one of us can actually perform for a "regular" audience -- have been developed, or made famous, by actual working professional magicians.

Yup -- sorta like Copperfield. Blaine's not an innovator, or even a particularly effective performer. Check out the list of "magic advisors" at the end of his specials. And those are only the ones who are STILL ALIVE!

This "Frozen in Time" special is particularly foul -- at least four of the effects are accomplished via "stooges" (paid spectators) or total camera trickery. And we won't go into the finale.

Copperfield would be proud.

Nonetheless, I have his signed and numbered poster for this stunt framed and matted in my living room.

Yeah, I'm the whore ;)

Never have I seen a man (or woman for that matter) look less comfortable with a golf club in his/her hands than Gere does here.

Doesn't help that it's set in Dallas, Texas and RG's attempt at a Southern accent comes and goes.

As a huge Altman fan I try to catch all of his films -- one would be wise to check out his (very) early stuff... like "Images."

This is a mediocre effort but that's better than most directors will ever aspire to and, as such, well worth checking out.

Another nice turn by Helen Hunt, who pretty much continues to startle me with her range (I only saw "Mad About You," the US TV series, perhaps five times so I really only knew her initially from her work in the excellent "Waterdance" before she made it big).

The typically large Altman ensemble cast doesn't work as well as those in most of his films (Farrah Fawcett and her silicone boobs are particularly annoying, as is Tara Reid).

This is still better than all 14 films which opened this weekend (OK, I only saw three of them but...)

The most eagerly-awaited book-to-film translation arrives with a thunderous roar but eventually takes a few bad turns and winds up just another bombastic marketing escapade. Buy a Sorceror's Happy Meal and get your very own magic wand free. The film cost $125 million to make and a third more ($40M) to market.

At the start, it seems as though Chris Columbus has melded "Mary Poppins" with "Willy Wonka" fairly well, with Harry's nagging foster parents, a loutish blowhard bully of a foster-brother, a cool giant of a man (Robbie Coltrane, who pretty much steals this show), a cool scene in Victorian England's "Diagon Alley" (get it?) where Harry buys his sorcery supplies, fun cameos (by John Hurt, John Cleese and others), brooding would-be villain Alan Rickman, priggish professor Maggie Smith, wisened Headmaster Richard Harris, etc.

The sets are superb, the special effects for the most part, excellent, although the CGI-splattered Quidditch game is over-the-top ~ reminding one of Lucas' pod-race in "The Phantom Menace" and paling in comparison ~ and some of the stop-action stuff simply looks dumb.

Daniel Radcliffe is just about perfect as Potter, although his character frequently is left with nothing to do but react to others -- a fatal flaw for a film's hero. The part of his amusing worst-luck wizard pal "Ron" is very well-acted by newcomer Rupert Grint. But Emma Watson's "Hermione" is far too often played as a know-it-all: her overall performance looks a lot like that of a child actor... acting.

And unfortunately, John Williams couldn't resist composing the score and boy is it loud. And unmemorable. Stick to Spielberg & Lucas, Johnny-boy. And speaking of Spielberg, this was supposed to be his film initially; when he dropped out to make the terrible "A.I. - Artificial Intelligence," somehow it fell into Columbus' hands (and wallet). Yep, the clown who most recently brought you "Stepmom," "Bicentennial Man" and "Nine Months" is now the owner of the biggest opening ever. Yikes.

Me: At two hours and thirty-two minutes, this is awfully long for a kiddie fantasy but the first two-thirds of the film work. The ending, while unpredictable, feels lame. See you at McDonald's - I'll be the one with the Happy Meal. Fiancée: Enjoyed one hundred forty-five of the one hundred fifty-two minutes of it (she disliked the troll segment).

Director Barry Levinson, who has made MANY more bad movies (Sphere, Jimmy Hollywood, Disclosure, Toys - the remake, Good Morning Vietnam, Bugsy, Avalon) than good (Wag the Dog, Rain Man, The Natural, Diner) comes up big here. This is by far the funniest film I've seen this year, with most of the humor relying upon asides from Billy Bob Thornton's character. He's a case study in hypochondriacism, the more sensitive and realistic but less attractive half of a brother team of bank robbers. "Action figure" Bruce Willis portrays the older, tougher- but-still-charming, womanizing brother to a "T"... rounding out the crew is a would-be Hollywood stuntman (Troy Garrity) and, knowing Levinson, the fact that he's a stuntman isn't coincidental.

Along comes a bored red-headed housewife -- Cate Blanchett -- who becomes the focal point of an anything-but-usual love triangle. A few words about Blanchett: after "Elizabeth" and "The Gift" who knew she was a drop-dead knockout? I saw Willis on Letterman hawking the film and he made a "Cate Blanchett -- woo hoo!" remark and I said "huh?". Because after seeing her with virtually no makeup (or rather, made up to look as if she was wearing no makeup) in several films I viewed her only as a gifted actress, another Aussie who could adapt various American accents apparently effortlessly. Bruce was right: she's hot with a capital "H."

Via real-life comedian Bobby Slayton's John Walsh-like character -- he's the host of "Criminals At Large," a reality TV show which chronicles the exploits of the duo, then trio as they happen -- the gang comes to be known as the "Sleepover Bandits." They arrive at a bank manager's home the evening before each heist, spending the night then escorting them to each of their respective financial institutions the following morning so that they may rob them pre-opening.

The look of the film is pure Hollywood (hey, it's Levinson after all) but it does roll along at a merry pace, mixing progressively funnier pseudo-ailments from Thornton with equal doses of almost-tender romance and quick, well-done capers.

Apart from the occasional Slayton recaps, this is an entirely linear flick, despite a comment made to open the movie.

I give "Bandits" my highest recommendation for a film of this type. Potential Oscar nominations for Thornton as well as Harley Peyton's witty story & script.

9/10

Billing this as the tale of "the last woman who was executed in Britain" sorta lets you know up front that Miranda Richardson's widescreen debut is going to end badly.

Director Mike Newell (Four Weddings and a Funeral) pulls gut~wrenching performances from his leads, Miranda Richardson, Rupert Everett & the always~underrated Ian Holm, in this fascinating fact~based story about utter sexual obsession.

Set in the dark '50s.

Ruth Ellis (Richardson) runs and lives above a nightclub/brothel frequented by several of London's wealthy gadflies. She's platinum blonde, all brass and ummm... well~liked by the local gentry.

She also has a young son named Andy, about to enter school, who turns the blindest of innocent eyes to Mom's lifestyle.

Enter David (Everett), a sullen alcoholic rich boy and LeMans auto racer wannabe who's taken in by Ruth's wiles within moments of seeing her for the first time ~ after being introduced to Ruth and her "club" by his equally well~heeled close friend Desmond (Holm).

What unfolds is the single most riveting ~ and more importantly, believable ~ love/hate relationship film I've seen. There have been tons of movies about obsessive lust (and I'm not talking about the flix they rent behind that door at the back of your video store whose "A" section takes up three aisles) but this one is a real treat.

David, you see, is seriously involved with another woman when he meets Ruth... yet beds the latter in quick fashion. The other woman (eventually his fiancee) is the rub. As is David's penchant for getting drunk and simultaneously developing still a third wandering eye.

Still, it's Ruth he wants. To the point of showing up at the oddest of times to woo (or just rant drunkenly, incoherently at ~ or just to hit) her. All the while winnowing his way deeply into Ruth and her son's hearts and lives.

Meanwhile Desmond stands stoically by until nearly the bitter end, supporting Ruth during LeMans~boy's long absences and sustaining her each time David fails to live up to his promises, which is pretty much always.

The "fights betwixt the leads" scenes are the best, the most creatively acted and directed.

After a while, Newell yanks you into the almost~triangle between the three and one begins to attempt to choose sides. This proves to be impossible, as none of the characters are particularly sympathetic.

IE: this ain't a Hollywood movie. Each character has flaws which are well~defined, there's no happy ending and (are you listening, Jim Cameron?)... no sequel.

Richardson is simply astonishing in her premiere. Each note she plays, screaming or smoldering, is just right (hence Miranda's Rights).

Everett's superb as the sociopathically obsessed lover.

And Holm is, well, brilliant. Color him unrequited with a vengeance.

9 of 10 Niro~Stars

Forman's second straight bio~pic works better than his last ("The People vs. Larry Flynt," which was good but more flawed).

I followed Andy Kaufman's career from its meager beginnings (actually saw that Fridays episode live, as well as all of his SNL perormances, most of that woman~wrestling phase, the Lawler match & Letterman interview, etc.) thru the shock of stumbling across his surprise obit.

Like many others, I thought that it too was yet another in a series of the serio~comic's brilliant geneology of gags.

Of course we were wrong.

But I always felt that I "got" his brand of humour, his "winking at us" eye. Then again, I'm among the few I know who also "get" Dennis Miller. Or moviejuice.com's genius, Mark Ramsey.

And while I more often than not find box-office heavyweight Jim Carrey annoying (has everyone forgotten his early career? Once Bitten?) he really delivers here. As he did in '98's The Truman Show.

Within the first five minutes of his excellent opening "monologue from the grave," I completely forgot I was watching Carrey and began recalling favorite Kaufman moments, all of which are covered here.

Most bio~pics feature good and occasionally great impersonations. This is neither. I mean Carrey IS Kaufman.

He's got the look (on and off-camera), the voice(s), the very essence of Andy... the non-comedian.

Paul Giamatti finally gets a meatier role as Kaufman's partner/co-writer/co-experiencer Bob Zmuda and is fine. Courtney Love ~ a new Forman staple? ~ is good as the love interest. DeVito's a stabilizing factor as Andy's agent.

And Forman pulls it all together with style, perception and above all, dignity.

Couple of questions:

Why bring the "Taxi" cast back together for this? So that we can see them 30 years later? Jeez, these guys & gals look AWFUL. Co-star DeVito's wife Rhea even avoided this project.

And if Milos Forman could pull the "Taxi" folks in, why couldn't he talk Michael Richards ("Fridays," "Seinfeld" and his self-named TV show which appears to be headed for 6-week termination) into doing this? Norm MacDonald's terrific, but he's no Michael Richards.

Kinda cool to see "Newhart" regular Peter Bonerz (Jerry, "The dentist who was less funny than Bill Daly") as Ed. (period) Weinberger.

Pleasant inside joke.

HEY MILOS: DO SAM KINISON NEXT! NOW *THERE'S* A STORY.

9/10 Niro~Stars

I'll watch anything which stars the occasionally delightful Kari Wuhrer, but this is pure dreck ~ it doesn't even look like her (which is our loss).

It intrigues me when a director claims to be an auteur by leading the credits with " A Film By Eric DelaBarre," when it really should note that it's "The Film By Eric DelaBarre."

For the chance of there being another film by this poseur seems remote.

1 Niro~Star (out of 10, only because there's no ZERO, apart from the director)...

I listened to an excellent interview of this film's producers upon its release and was really expecting great things (I grew up in Wisconsin in the mid '60s/early '70s and our Boy Scout Troop had many weekend outings in the Black River Falls area, where this film takes place).

Terrific "real life" stories about the mysterious happenings and murders in and around this town are re~enacted in Errol Morris fashion, but the film never finds Morris' focus ~ instead, it makes a mish-mash of all of the interesting tales.

After 30 minutes you've witnessed so many deaths and oddities in no order whatsoever, that if you're a smart viewer you begin to ask yourself "What is this film really trying to say?"...

After 5 more minutes, the filmmakers have re~covered evey square inch of what the initial half~hour presented.

Should have been better.

Far better.

Hokum involving a deceased witch's coven's attempts to raise her from the dead to inhabit her daughter's rather impressive body (17 years later).

This is absolute rubbish, not even worthy of the great Corman's name. At one pivotal moment, two women disrobe under a waterfall ~ and the prettier one is wearing... string bikini panties!

And those of you looking for the lovely Nicole Eggert's ummm... assets... can rent "Blown Away" (because this one's an obvious body double).

Avoid.

Simply put, this is probably the best American film I've seen since Quentarantino's quintessential "Pulp Fiction."

From the opening shot, in which we see a scantily~clad teen matter~of~factly discussing the possibility of killing her father to make her life easier, to the next scene, where we find said 42~year~old daddy masturbating in the shower and proclaiming that this will be the highlight of his day, to the absolutely brutal but pretty much predetermined closing sequence, "American Beauty" beats you into submission with a clarity which I don't recall seeing in years.

For my money, Kevin Spacey's performance is the best by an American actor since Denzel's perfect "Malcolm X."

And, were it not for Hilary Swank's amazing turn as Brandon Teena in "Boys Don't Cry," Bening would have deserved the Oscar as Spacey's bitchy self~determined, self~centered, image is everything, real~estate~queen~wannabe wife.

Within a few scenes, we realize that Spacey is about to leap off the edge.

What with eminently~priveleged Wednesday Addams lookalike daughter [Thora Birch] contemplating his murder with new boyfriend/pot~dealer "Ricky" [eerily portrayed by Joaquin Phoenix's better~looking apparently~twin brother, Wes Bentley] because daddy has been staring at her new sexpot~girlfriend Mena Suvari a bit more longingly than a grown man should, and with mommy Annette spending more time gleaming "Real Estate King" Peter Gallagher's cube than polishing Kevin's bishop, this quickly becomes "ok, so who's gonna kill him first?"

NOTE: I haven't even given anything away that you don't see in the 1st 20 minutes.

And so it goes, with Spacey bowling you over again and again with cool, if twisted, well... twists.

I saw this at the theater five days ago, and I'm still talking about it with anyone who'll listen.

And that's the first time I've done that in years.

The only Oscar it won which should have gone to another film was Conrad Hall's for cinematography. The cin is good but, apart from the excellent plastic bag sequence, only adequate. Leigh's "Topsy~Turvy" should've easily snared the award.

Before I saw "American Beauty," I thought that "The Ice Storm" was a superior film. Still do. But not superior to this.

Because Spacey's "Lester" makes this a true masterwork.

**** of **** Niro~Stars

As an avid mystery film buff, I refused to read a single review of "The Sixth Sense" ~ to the point that I wandered away when any of my friends began discussing it.

That's how serious I was about trying not to accidentally stumble upon "the big secret."

So, having missed it at the theaters, I pre~ordered the DVD and waited.

And waited.

Yesterday it arrived. I decided to hold off on watching it until tonight, my birthday [shameless effort to receive multiple emailed birthday greetings].

Words cannot describe my shock at having "discovered" the "big secret" a mere SE7EN minutes into the film. So amazed was I that I was certain that the obvious answer must have been a red herring: surely anyone with half a brain would have determined the incredibly obvious secret when I did.

I was expecting a sock~me~in~the~gut~I~never~saw~that~coming surprise, a la "The Usual Suspects." Or even "Shallow Grave." Or at the very worst, "Carnival of Souls" or "Rosemary's Baby."

Nope.

It was exactly as I suspected.

This is a well~acted, nicely~paced, moderately~interesting thriller.

Haley Joel Osment's performance is memorable and, along with Jude Law's in "The Talented Mr. Ripley," was the best of 1999's Best Supporting Actor turns. For the first time in several years, a child actor actually delivers a riveting, completely~believable performance. For me, the problem with young actors is that [because by definition, they *are* young] they always seem to be acting. This kid is world~class.

But contrary to popular opinion, this is decidedly *not* Bruce Willis' best work to date. Although he's good here, that honor would go to his tortured Vietnam vet in the excellent "In Country," which I urge you to rent.

Toni Collette does well as Osment's caring mother, but this is no Oscar~worthy turn: she's simply not around enough to serve as much more than a plot device.

The famed "I see dead people" line finally rolls around at :47 and if you haven't cracked this by then, give up and fast~forward.

***SEMI~SPOILER ALERT***

Disregard the reviews here which claim that if you fail to realize the importance of "The Sixth Sense" then you just didn't get the complex dialogue. It's not complex in the least. At best, it's serviceable. The story is lifted from the original "Carnival of Souls." Those who want you to believe that this is the greatest horror/thriller ever haven't seen "The Exorcist" or "Rosemary's Baby."

Let alone "Fallen."

** of **** Niro~Stars And Happy Birthday

This is a vile waste of celluloid, and if you think it's an "art house film," then you've never been to an art house.

I concur with Michael Kenmore's review here: this is no way to remember Kubrick.

Once again, Cruise fails to create the effect that he can act, even in a truly awful film. Kidman, in a surprisingly small role, is the best thing here except for the cinematographer.

Even Cruise's hair is bad. And that's saying something.

The preposterous [and lengthy] script is worse, however, with absurdist dialogue in abundance. It literally mocks itself in its self-importance, and ~ in case you don't get it ~ telegraphs the film's every move [example: the password for the "private party" is "Infidelio" ~ GET IT???].

If there's even the slightest moment of suspense here for any of you, please rent virtually any Hitchcock film.

And the "it's ok, I'm a doctor" wasn't working the first time, nor the fourth.

The excellence of the camerawork is utterly overwhelmed by the most irritating film score in years: within the first hour I was trying to reach through the screen to crush the fingers of Jocelyn Pook and her grating "two notes on a piano in every octave imaginable" music.

The so-called "extremely graphic" content? Mild, at the very best.

Sure Kidman is topless a few times, and there are a few glimpses of her [rather extraordinary] derriere. But we've seen these goods before. Nary a bum from Cruise for the ladies. And the so-called orgy scene, complete with the famed digital shadowy cloaked men to hide the allegedly explicit parts, is a limp disaster.

And you thought that Verhoeven's lamentable "Showgirls" was the most unerotic movie ever made which tried to shock you with its nudity? Or was that "Romance"...

The only scene which I'll remember is the one in which Kidman confesses her almost~infidelity to Cruise, which sets this on its course.

Here's how bad this film is: all three interviews on the DVD version are tributes to Kubrick, not to this film. Steven Spielberg even weighs in with a "best actors" list ~ Spencer Tracy, Henry Fonda, Jimmy Stewart, Cary Grant, etc. Ahhh... nary an actor among them. Movie stars, yes.

Just like Tom Cruise.

See "Paths of Glory" for Kubrick's brilliance. Or "2001." Or "A Clockwork Orange." Or "Full Metal Jacket." Or even "The Shining."

Avoid this.

Um, and "Barry Lyndon."

And most of all, "Spartacus."

After a lifetime of playing "no-nonsense gun~toting Republican" types, ever since Clint's "Unforgiven," he's been portraying quasi~liberal types.

Oh, what losing Sondra Locke can do to a man with no name ;)

This well~meaning film is a disaster from beginning to predictable end. Horrible dialogue. Lame Clint~redemption scenes. Preposterous "climax."

Even the reliable James Woods looks bad here.

And that pretty much says everything.

You've read it all before: Rosie & Aykroyd are awful.

The jokes are as lame as they get.

Garry Marshall is vying for the Ed Wood award for worst directors ever.

Dana is good, and naked ~ which basically makes this a must~see for her male fans.

Watch old "China Beach" reruns instead.

After the stellar "El Mariachi," Rodriguez has virtually fallen off the map of serious film artists.

This final step in his downfall [I'm writing this before the debut of his soon~to~be~released~and~forgotten "Spy Kids"] is a blatant rip~off of Heinlein's "The Puppet Masters" and Jack Finney's ""The Body Snatchers."

Sure, it features gorgeous high school babes and some cool adult actors [Bebe Neuwirth, Jon Stewart, Piper Laurie, Salma Hayek, Robert Patrick, et al], but in the end I wanted to scour the basement for my copy of Siegel's classic.

Ho hum.

123 minutes of [please select one]:

A) The semantic disembowelment of the human psyche B) Superior actors vying to hold their own against one another C) Utter psycho~babble which is, in turns, unbearable, unwatchable, unlistenable and basically worthless D) Completely self~absorbed E) All of the above

You decide.

The Penns are, as always, magnificent. Spacey is in his element, again fooling us into thinking that he just might be heterosexual. Meg Ryan is a delight, and Anna Paquin is all grown up. Shandling plays himself and Palminteri's character is loathesome.

The answer is "E" ~ so if you like these actors, you might enjoy this film. The DVD version includes two audio commentaries, neither of which redeem the film.

Virtual unknown Mark Christopher's "54" came out at essentially the same time as Stillman's "The Last Days of Disco," and most of us who are still Stillman hopefuls were expecting a TKO.

Sadly though, even with Kate Beckinsale in the cast, "Days" finishes a poor second.

Mike Myers, in his first truly dramatic role, is absolutely superb as the ubiquitous and egocentric Steve Rubell ~ the man who literally invented trendy~but~exclusive NYC hot~spots with his Studio 54.

But Myers is merely the thread which holds several subplots together.

Most of these involve lowlife Jersey kid, "Shane" [Ryan Phillippe], who happens upon the club nearly by accident. Shane, via several personally~compromising situations, is fairly~quickly elevated to "waiter" status which, at 54, meant overnight stardom.

Neve Campbell, as an ex~Jersey girl who has made it semi~big on a soap opera, excels as the object of Shane's desires.

Salma Hayek, in what is likely her best performance thus far, is terrific as the disco star wannabe.

I continue to be amazed with Mike Myers ~ even when he's not doing his comedy schtick, he makes it work. This is a true oddity for ex~SNL personnel: Bill Murray, John Belushi & Dan Aykroyd's attempts at drama have been at best adequate [depite Aykroyd's nomination for the awful "Driving Miss Daisy"] and at worst, deplorable [all of Aykroyd's other work].

The guy is gold. Buy his IPO when it shows up on Wall Street.