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Reviews

Brivido giallo: La casa dell'orco
(1989)
Episode 3, Season 1

If you take Demons III out of the title, you might find this enjoyable.
Most italian horror lovers seem to hate this movie since because it has no connection to the first two Demons films. And with the "Demons III" in the title, one would assume it would. The problem is that this film was never intended to be part of the Demons series. The distributors only a "Demons III" above its original title "The Ogre" to cash in on the other films popularity. The new American DVD release of this picture has the title "Demons III: The Ogre" on the box art but the film itself only says "The Ogre". I don't know if past releases had the title "Demons III" on the actual film itself, but this new release just seems to be a little white lie. If you can get past the "Demons III" in the title, you might some enjoyment in "The Ogre". It starts out with a creep intro, and stays pretty creep throughout. There's no gore and the film movies slowly, but I still dug it. Just don't expect it to be like the other Demons films. I give "The Ogre" 7 out of 10. Italian fans should try it out.

Bloodstone
(1988)

A forgotten "gem"
Sorry for the pun, but its true that Bloodstone is one of those forgotten films of the 80's. Most people who saw it in the theater then have forgotten they did and the movie disappeared from theaters never to be heard from again, that is until now. I, for one, was one of the people that forgot about this film. For years my memory of the film layed dormat, then one day I saw it on the shelf at one of our local DVD store. I was totally surprised to see it, so I picked it up. This DVD release by Image/Omega Entertainent is a beautiful release. Widescreen, digitally remastered, with plenty of special features. I was impressed. As for the movie, it brought back great memories. The story is your average adventure affair, much like Indiana Jones, Romancing The Stone, & Firewalker, but it does have many comical moments. The best part of the film is the police chief that speaks with a funny back of the throat voice. I found myself mimicking this voice for days after I saw the movie. The film was a pleasure with its adventure, off-the-wall humor, and exotic locations. If you like adventure films, give this lost gem a try, you shouldn't be disappointed. And for those of you who saw the movie, and can't remember...refresh your memory.

The Dark
(1979)

I had high hopes
The 70's was an era of very unique and refreshing horror films, before the slasher genre hit the screen. 70's horror films had to rely on atmosphere, story, and genuine scares to get their point across, and because of this, the 70's horror films are my favorite. I had high hopes for The Dark. It seemed to have a talented cast (William Devane) and an interesting plot. Where could you go wrong with an alien being roaming the allies of L.A. at night murdering innocent victims? Well the filmmakers did. The film even started out promising, with an explanation about alien life and how not every encounter will be friendly. Then the film degrades and keeps degrading. The major default is simply that the alien just isn't scary. It's like a lumbering Frankenstein that shoots lasers out of its eyes while it growls and grunts (and I swear they are the same growls and grunts used in the low budget monstrosity The Toxic Avenger). Another fault is that the film is too talky. It just keeps going and going with nothing really happening; even the alien attacks are tedious. A real disappointment. This is a hard movie to come by, and it is probably bound to stay that way. *1/2 out of *****

Star Crystal
(1986)

I gave it a try hoping for the best
I love space movies, especially of the 80's, but sadly most of them are pretty terrible. I ment to rent Star Crystal for years but never got around to it. The cover was appealing and the explanation on the back of the box didn't make it sound half bad. Finally I picked it up at a video store on the sale rack for a buck. Got home and popped it in. Sadly to say, was was truly disappointed. It was a chore sitting through the film. Most low-budget sci/fi films can get by if they have even just an ounce of good acting. Sadly Star Crystal lacks any good acting at all. It just ends up being another Alien rip-off much like the movie Creature (Creature is far better though) as an alien is released from a "star crystal" and attacks the crew one by one.Cheesy effects and bad acting, with a silly twist at the end makes this film easily forgotten allowing no one t sob or cry if it never comes to DVD. Not as bad as Roger Corman's early 80's space adventures, but pretty close. * out of *****

Mausoleum
(1983)

Cool cover, bad movie.
I bought Mausoleum at a pawn shop because the cover looked cool and made the film look scary. The film turned out to be a total waste of time. The story was all right, but the film was made poorly, with poor performances and sets. A women enters a cursed Mausoleum and gets possessed by a demon said in an old family curse. Every once and a while she turns into a demon with carnivorous breasts. Yeah right.

Evil Dead: Hail to the King
(2000)

I was crushed
Me and my buddies are avid Evil Dead fans. We have all seen the three films numerous times. When we heard the made a video game, we went nuts. After buying it we were a little disappointed. The game starts inside the cabin, and it is exactly like it is in the movies! the graphics are good, but it is very hard to play. Killing deadites becomes redundant and the angles are absurd. It's not very fun to play, but it does portray a great story and what else can I say about Bruce Campbell supplying the voice of Ash, a classic. Evil Dead fans should check out, other gamers should avoid.

A View to a Kill
(1985)

Arguably the worst
In my opinion and a lot of other Bond fans I know, this is the worst James Bond film. I enjoyed it a little more than the "unofficial" entry Never Say Never Again, but A View to a Kill still is the worst. Roger Moore is looking too old to play secret agent 007 and Tanya Roberts is just awful as the Bond girl. All she yells is "James, James!" She ranks #1 on the worst Bond girls list. The story is OK, but corny. Bond snowboarding to the tune of a beach boys song in the pre-title sequence, come on! Christoper Walken is absolutely wasted as a potential villain, but Grace Jones is good as his hench women. A View to a Kill is ONLY for Bond fans, anybody else will just laugh. ** out of *****

Never Say Never Again
(1983)

My least favorite Bond film.
I am a Bond fan and I own all of the films. My personal least favorite is Never Say Never Again. It's my least favorite because Connery looks too old to play the secret agent (so did Roger Moore at this time) and Kim Basinger is surprisingly bland as the Bond girl. The story is just a mish-mash remake of the original Thunderball and trudges along to a faltered climax. Another downfall to this sequel is that is not part of the "official" Bond series, and from the beginning of the film, it loses it's touch. Bond fans should check out, because many moments are still enjoyable. **1/2 out of *****

The Alien Legacy
(1999)

Awsome documentary
I bought the Alien Legacy five video pack which included all the Alien films; Alien, Aliens - Special Edition, Alien 3, and Alien Ressurrection. The pack also included the documentary The Alien Legacy. It's a real treat for Alien fans and goes deep into the making of the original Alien. Has interviews and deleted scenes.

Winterbeast
(1992)

So bad it's just bad
This has to be the worst movie ever made. At least Plan 9 From Outer Space had a plot you could follow, this film doesn't even provide that. It's a convolted mess that never deserved to be released to the public. Hopefully the original reel is rotting in someones's basement or workshed so no one else can be tarnished or cursed with this monstrosity!

Paura nella città dei morti viventi
(1980)

Another Fulci gorefest
The only reason I bought this films is because I enjoyed Fulci's other horror film Zombie. I bought this film under the title of The Gates of Hell, and was totally let down by the picture quality of the film. It was scratchy and muddy. I would have enjoyed the movie more if I would have bought the Anchor Bay version released under the title City of the Living Dead in stead of the cruddy Creature Features video. Overall Fulci fans should check out, but only under the title City of the Living Dead.

Howling: New Moon Rising
(1995)

New Line, What Were You Thinking?!!!
I was wrong, "Monster Dog" is not the worst werewolf movie ever made, "Howling 7" is! This is so bad it could be up for the worst movie ever! Do not fall for this, it is not a sequel, it is homemade cheapy trash full of country music, line dancing, and old men using their jean zippers as instruments. Not cool New Line, I lost some respect for you, even if you did do the "Nightmare On Elm Street" series. -10 out of 10

Lords of the Deep
(1989)

My brother is gonna pay for this!
I gave my brother 5 bucks to go buy me a used movie because I was unable to go. He came home with "Lords of the Deep". He said he picked it out because I like underwater movies such as "The Abyss", "Leviathan", "Deep Star Six", and "Sphere". I knew I was in trouble when I looked on the credits and found that Roger Corman was the producer. "Lords of the Deep" ended up being so bad that I donated it to the library. What a horrible viewing experience!

2019 - Dopo la caduta di New York
(1983)

Where's the patch?
"After the Fall of New York" is a total rip-off of the cult hit "Escape From New York". A rough apocoliptic hero (only lacking the patch of Snake Plisken) is given a do-or-die decision (sound familiar) to go into the rubbled New York to get the only remaining fertile female. The story line is interesting, but the film itself is bad. Bad special effects, bad acting, and very cartoonish. Actually the story would make a good third entry into the John Carpenter's "Escape" series, that is even if a third film will ever be made.

Mi ni te gong dui
(1983)

...AND THE POINT IS!
My brother's hero is Jackie Chan (excuse me, that's Jacky Chan according to the films credits)and he owns a lot of his newer films. He got a deal and bought two of his "Supposed" older films "Fantasy Mission Force" and "In Eagle Shadow Fist". I watched both with him, and I'll tell you what, "Fantasy Mission Force" is one of the worst movies ever made. Some scenes you can even compare to the Power Rangers. The only good thing about this is the connection to James Bond, Rocky, and Escape From New York at the beginning of the movie, making you wish you were watching one of them instead of this trash!

Game of Death
(1978)

Sad
I was disappointed in "Game of Death". The only part of the film worth watching is the last 20 minutes, in which Bruce Lee goes from floor to floor beating various baddies. The rest of the film I could pass on. Even though Bruce Lee died before the film was finished, it still is not the same without the master. ** out of ***** stars

Jing wu men
(1972)

Everybody loves kung fu fighting!
Bruce Lee went right with "The Chinese Connection", it is much better than his last film "Fists of Fury". This one has a better story line about a student avenging his teachers death, and has a lot better fight scenes. It's too bad that the dubbing is below standard, but that just adds to the fun. Bruce Lee's film "Return of the Dragon" follow's this and that is even better.

Tang shan da xiong
(1971)

Nothing can protect you from the force of Bruce Lee's fists!!
I am a big Bruce Lee fan and I own all of his kung fu films. But out of his 5 chop socky flicks, "Fists of Fury" is his worst. Not saying its bad, its just an average film that is corny and has a whole lot of martial arts violence (Yah!). Bruce Lee is the only thing that makes this movie worth while. After all, he is the master. *** out of ***** stars

Jing wu men xu ji
(1977)

It's so scratchy it hurt my eyes!
I bought this Hong Kong film under the title Fist of Fury II for $3.99. Boy did I overpay. First of all I am a Bruce Lee fan and I bought this because I thought it was a sequel to The Chinese Connection (titled Fist of Fury overseas), and when I got home, the movie itself had the name The Fist of Fury? This film has so many A.K.A titles it hurts my head! So is it a sequel to The Chinese Connection or Fists of Fury? I give up. It also hurts my eyes because the movies is so scratchy. You must be a die hard 70's kung fu fan to enjoy this!

The Exterminator
(1980)

He hardly used the flamethrower!
I saw "Exterminator 2" before I saw "The Exterminator", and I liked it in a crude sort of way. Robert Ginty's trademark weapon in that film was his flamethrower. After I saw "Exterminator 2", I really wanted to see "The Exterminator", so I just ended up buying it. The cover looked promising enough with the Exterminator brandishing a flamethrower, but the cover lies. He only uses the flamethrower once in the film, and that is only to intimidate a thug. That's it! The rest of the time he uses guns and meatgrinders to do his dirty work. All "The Exterminator" turned out for me is a below average revenge affair much in the aspect of Charles Bronson revenge epics. ** out of ***** stars

Honor Thy Father
(1973)

"Honor Thy Father" ain't no "Godfather".
"Honor Thy Father" is a very slow, unexciting TV made movie about an inner city Mafia family. A good source for school projects but thats about it. Otherwise, don't watch it for entertainment or you will be bored to death. I just have to say it's a good thing I got this film for free.

Delta Force 3: The Killing Game
(1991)

What is the appeal of this sequel?
No Chuck Norris and no Lee Marvin, what is the appeal of this sequel. For Norris fans, not much. "Delta Force 2" suffered without Lee Marvin but at least still Norris. "Delta Force 3" doesn't have either. This is a poor direct-to-video sequel that has nothing to do with the previous films and is a waste of time.

Phantasm IV: Oblivion
(1998)

Not what I expected
I am a big fan of the "Phantasm" films and I couldn't wait to see "Phantasm IV: Oblivion". It took me a long time to find it (I couldn't even find it for rent!) and ended up buying it. To tell you he truth, I was kind of disappointed in it. It wasn't nearly as wild as the previous three. It still has some memorable moments and it is good to see the original cast back together. The major thing I didn't like was the ending, which sounds like to me a lot of other fans don't like it either. I also didn't like the low budgetness of this sequel, it really shows in some parts. To really like this sequel, you must be a die hard "Phantasm" fan or you will be totally lost.

Death Wish V: The Face of Death
(1994)

Wow, finally a sequel!
"Death Wish V: The Face of Death" (DVD title just "Death Wish: The Face of Death")is the first sequel into the series that really is any good. "Death Wish", a classic. "Death Wish II", a disappointment. "Death Wish 3", good action otherwise lousy. "Death Wish 4: The Crackdown", a sequel that never should have been made. And finally the underrated "Death Wish V: The Face of Death", the only sequel that measures up. Considering this was straight to video, it doesn't seem to be. There is enough Bronson action for fans but its not overblown to get in the way of the story. Most people probably won't even give this a chance because of the other cruddy sequels. Give this a try, I'm not saying your guaranteed to like it, but its a very good film for Bronson who has finally come to an end with his acting career.

Return of the Living Dead III
(1993)

Is this a sequel?
I really like the first two entries into the "Return" living dead series, and when I heard they made a part 3, I couldn't wait to see it. I already owned parts 1 and 2, so I just bought part 3 before I even saw it. When I watched it, I was disappointed because it had hardly anything to do with the first two films except the concept of a gas that reanimates the dead. "Part 3" is a much more darker, depressing zombie flick that has a whole less comedy than the first films, which some of you might prefer, But I was set on the way that the series had ample amounts of black comedy, which I enjoyed. I also didn't like how the story line revolved around just one zombie chick and how she deals with her cravings for human brains instead of survivors running from hoards of zombies within a small town like in the first films. If you're a fan of the first two, take note, don't expect this to be exactly like those. If you like films such as "Hellraiser" and "Re-Animator", enjoy.

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