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"The Brain That Wouldn't Die" is undeniably a cheap, tacky, sleazy film, but it isn't the absolute worst film ever made (try sitting thru Al Adamson's "Horror of The Blood Monsters" sometime!). If you have the right cheese-craving mindset for it, it can be quite a hoot! The decapitated head residing in a lasagna pan, the mad doctor's search for the *right* kind of slutty body for the aforementioned head, the monster in the closet that resembles Zippy the Pinhead...all of these add up to a truly unique cinematic experience. It IS a bad movie, but I'm not sorry that it was made.

That's right--"The Brain From Planet Arous" is _indeed_ John Agar's best science-fiction movie...but that's not saying very much. While it is undoubtedly _cheap_ (the giant alien brains in their natural form look a lot like balloons!), and while the storyline is sheer goofiness bordering on surrealism (one of the brains inhabits the body of a dog!), it _is_ somehow fun to watch, in spite of (or more likely because of) its low-budget limitations. And John Agar IS fun to watch; you can tell that he's doing his best here--in the scenes where he's possessed by the evil brain, he had to wear some very uncomfortable silver contact lenses--but the odd, yet by-the-numbers script doesn't give him much to work with. Still, if you're willing to put your own brain on hold for a little while, you might get a kick out this movie.

This Bill Rebane "messterpiece" takes everything a halfway-decent movie has to offer--and gets it all wrong! The "plot" of this flick is practically non-existent; it's pretty much the science-fictional equivalent of a snipe-hunt...with the hapless viewer holding the bag!

That's right...this IS an astounding movie, though not in the way director Larry Buchanan probably intended it. The only one of Buchanan's AIP-TV flicks that isn't a remake of an earlier movie, it has all the ingredients of a Z-grade mess: start with former Disney standby Tommy Kirk as the bland leader of a Martian expedition, add Batgirl Yvonne Craig as a scientist who (for some strange reason) falls in love with our favorite Matian, sprinkle in some aggressively-dull footage of a local (Dallas) football game, stir-in enough double-entendres and leering by the male cast to make you gouge your eyes out, and you've got...not much!

Director Larry Buchanan tries his grubby hand at remaking yet another AIP sci-fi flick; this time, it's the teen-comedy "Invasion of the Saucer Men" (in which aliens bug the heck out of some kids necking in Lover's Lane). While "Saucer Men" is by no means a masterpiece of American cinema, a single watching of Buchanan's remake makes the earlier film look like high art by comparison...

Buchanan's distinctive directorial flair gives "The Eye Creatures" its peculiar sheen: ridiculous rubber monsters with too-visible zippers on their costumes (some don't have _any_ costumes at all!), night scenes that suddenly transform into daytime shots, a pair of oily peeping-tom servicemen watching the action on Lover's Lane...I could go on, as I'm sure you can, too. If you can, catch it on MST3K or you'll miss the only entertainment value this waste of celluloid has to offer.

Tor Johnson does it again--namely, stumble around in yet another Z-movie stinker! So plotless and witless, it makes his work for Ed Wood look Shakespearian by comparison. If you HAVE to see it, check it out on MST3K, where it's sure to be more entertaining.

Ooo-kay. Try and follow this: it seems that there is a plague of vampirism running rampant on Earth, and scientist John Carradine is the only one who has a snowball's chance to save us. It seems there's this planet somewhere where vampires are known to exist, so John and a team of dunderheaded astronauts whoosh off to see if there's anything on this planet that might bring about a cure. Still with me? Okay. When Carradine and crew land their $1.95 toy spaceship on the distant planet, things get hopelessly goofy: the so-called "horror" of the Blood Monsters that inhabit this rock is portrayed almost completely by tinted stock-footage from an old Filipino caveman flick. These scenes contain: hopeless-looking bat-men that glide on wires, ridiculous lizard-men that couldn't make it into a Toho soundstage, and vampire-like cavemen wearing tusks from the local Filipino five-and-dime. Carradine and his hapless away-team are baffled by what's going on...needless to say, so is the audience. For those who desire quality cinema--avoid this like the plague. For the rest of us...don't miss.

Actually, I've seen this...this *thing* (I just can't use the word "movie"!) in its MiSTified version AND its pristine original version. Either way, whenever you watch it, you have to gawk at the screen in disbelief, your jaw hanging open in shock, and throw your hands up in the air and scream "Why? WHY did Jerry Warren make this thing?" The depressingly lame attempts at comedy...the too-obvious sexploitation...the haphazard integration of stock footage from "The Mole People" and Mexican horror movies...all of these elements mingle into a sheer cinematic mess...

If you are brave enough to endure "The Wild World of Batwoman", check out the MST3K edition--Mike, Servo and Crow's banter almost make this film entertaining. Almost.