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Reviews

Dry Rot
(1956)

Just being irritating on its own is not funny
Shout your lines, misunderstand everything that is said to you. Lots of cameo appearances of stock British Actors. I guess a lot of this would work better live in a theatre , Dry Rot was a long running London theatre production. But on the big screen it all seems laboured , jokes telegraphed in advance.

The Frightened City
(1961)

Marvellous chance to view nascent James Bond
Sean Connery still showing at times a vulnerable side also naive but all the elements are there. Lots of good performances by others. I watch a lot of old really bad British Movies but this actually a good one.

Hour of Decision
(1957)

Before TV got going, British audiences just needed to get out of the rain
There wasn't much else to do in 1950s England go to a movie or to the pub. The other reviews here have really said it all. But things to watch out for the street scenes, the terrible decor of the 'smart' night club, the mid-Atlantic accents with the hope of endearing the film to American audiences,ditto actual American actor, Arthur Lowe cameo.

47 Ronin
(2013)

You will think you've seen it before
Haven't reviewed a movie for ages but felt obliged to do so with this turkey. I came into this film with no preconceptions as I'd somehow missed hearing about it and had no negative opinion of Keanu Reeves (That's normally the best way to see a film). But right from the beginning I was plagued by the feeling I'd seen it before mainly because of all the clichés. Keanu is just awful don't know if it was his fault or the leaden script. Apparently the scenario was rewritten several times. So it ends up a little bit of everything CGI, real history, bolt-on American Hero, meandering plot, ho-hum romance. If you want to pass the time with this movie may be count the times you are reminded of other better films.

Mr. Bean's Holiday
(2007)

Not for Everyone, but may become a classic
This film certainly has its lovers and haters. I really didn't like his last film, the Bond spoof Johnny English, so had low expectations for this one; which always help. I laughed a lot at this one, but also got a little stressed by the painfulness of his travel related disasters. Any way I advise you stay with the film, get over the awkward bits. I'm trying to write this without spoiling it for you or over-building it, but it's more than a comedy, it's a little homage to cinema, to Jaques Tati and to France. Anyway as they say just let yourself go , and go with the film. I'll watch it again tomorrow. It's nice to see a film with practically no dialogue as well. This film doesn't push every idea to it's conclusion, I think it's part of its languid (gosh never used that word before) charm. Go see

Shrek the Third
(2007)

Animation Superb, But as a Film Just terrible
Admittedly I've never been a Shrek fan, and find Mike Myers less funny with each film. Anyway I had to take my son and his friends to see Shrek and hoped that because I expected so little, I might end up enjoying it. The technical animation is the best I've ever seen, and never tiring to the eyes like Toy Story 2.As to the film itself I cannot remember enjoying a film less, it's just plain dull and boring. Everything is jaundiced and cynical, including heartwarming speeches. Is that the big joke? For instance Merlin wears a tunic which is too short, which makes him look silly, which is also a joke, but it's not funny. The half-empty cinema full of young families was mostly silent. Animation 10/10 film 1/10

Yuki yukite, shingun
(1987)

Quite Extraordinary
I really can't think of any thing of I've seen to compare with this. This is true story of a man who just wanted to expose the needless executions of two fellow Japanese soldiers by their own side. Of all the deaths, of all the suffering in that most terrible of battles in New Guinea and forty years later he strives to expose the truth. Okuzaki is absolutely fearless of others, the police, of superiors of conventions. Absolutely marvellous. When you consider how many now a days are involved in revisionism. Incidentally an intimate view of Japan and the Japanese, going into real people's houses. Just see it don't read any more. Nobody's supposed to feel sorry for the bad guys, but the Japanese Army once all powerful really suffered in the last years, this just gives you a glimpse of that

Stupeur et tremblements
(2003)

Pretty Frightening view of Japan
One minute I was working in the UK. Then a lucrative job advert, a 30 minute interview, and a few days later I found myself in a huge office in Belgium. So I find myself in a foreign country where I know nobody at all. At least however there already some British co-workers. I still remember my bewilderment in the evenings watching all these thousands of people driving, catching buses to destinations I'd never heard of, ALL knowing where they going me; only me totally confused. But that was obviously NOTHING like the cultural shock that Amelie experienced and kept on experiencing. We just loved this film, you just felt you were there. Please more comments on it by Japanese.

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
(1988)

What will this seem like after the Hollywood version
I've watched this a zillion times with my kids, and never tired of it. But I wonder now what it will seem like after having seen the big-budget 2005 Narnia. While my kids adored the modern version, I found it lacked the charm/continuity of this the 1988 BBC version. In the modern Narnia I hated the father Xmas scene, also the initial scene of Lucy and the fawn. By the way I'd never realised there were religious undertones to TLWATW, I still think you have to look really hard. I'm writing this without having read other recent comments so look forward to see how many of you preferred the old version.

Keep looking for Narnia!

Gangs of New York
(2002)

A Brilliant Mess!
What must life have been like in this dynamic early New York washed over by wave after wave of immigrants? Sure each wave was looked down on, racially abused. But don't worry they would find their place in a generation or two and then start to organise against the next wave of immigrants, human nature is wonderful. Scorcese had the chance to make a new classic, but you never feel that what is going on is real (when much of it actually was of course), we spend the whole film waiting for the anti-climactic showdown. I enjoyed the film, but can see why it wasn't a box-office success (as it should have been with all those big names) and didn't win any Oscars. Too many disparate threads, too ambitious too cheesy. But as I say a quite brilliant mess!

Troy
(2004)

Not Bad
The Illiad is a long intricate story to say the least, so filming any epic is extremely difficult. So in the end we were pleasantly surprised by Troy. Some good battle scenes. Brad Pitt is perfect as the anti-hero superman, you really believe he is invulnerable. Some of the other casting leaves doubts, Eric Bana although acting well seems to slight to be Hector. Helen fails to convince that men would go mad for her beauty. The 10 year war is condensed into a few weeks, and towards the end of the film increasing liberties are taken with Homer's history. It would nice to have mentioned that the few escapees from Troy go on to found Rome which will one day conquer Greece.

The Magdalene Sisters
(2002)

Yes that did go on!
One of the interesting moments is when one of the girls is saved by her brother, but he had to wait until he was presumably 21. At that moment he had the authority to decide his OLDER sister's fate. Religion's have always had a BIG problem with female sexuality, men's sexuality could always be blamed on the women anyway. That said in poor countries unwanted pregnancies could be a financial disaster, only contraception has really allowed society to evolve. Another point is that these laundries were probably a bit of dustbin for incapable Nuns/Priests anyway, I mean not where any motivated ones would choose to end up. Nowadays women don't have to become Nuns to avoid marriage, abusive men etc. But thanks to this film for reminding us that we've only recently escaped from the "dark ages", that there are still powerful forces wanting to send us back there!!

The Ladykillers
(2004)

What's wrong with this film?
I'm a big fan of the original LadyKillers, I knew from IMDb that this remake hadn't made grade, but we eventually got to see it anyway. One reviewer said "It's not easy to pinpoint what's wrong". Well I know a few reasons. Tom Hanks (my favorite actor) is unconvincing (stinks?). In the original film, the robbery goes perfectly to plan, and then everything takes place in the house, which becomes more and more claustrophobic. Only Garth starts to develop as a character. They key character is supposed to be the black "Old Lady", but she is not naive enough. In the remake everything is bitty, nothing gels. There were a few really funny moments, but somehow a lack of passion and belief. Filmmakers please don't remake or sequel the classics eg Alfie/The Matrix/Star Wars.

The Day After Tomorrow
(2004)

The one-week ice-age
I didn't know till now that this film came out of the "Independence day" stable, I knew it had similar logical problems however. All in all though an inoffensive, easy to watch piece of hokum. An absolutely tedious cardboard cut-out father-son relationship problem (.. yawn!!) would be my main criticism . This film is all the same a welcome attempt to highlight "Global Warming", which worrying a few commentators here still see as a 'liberal plot'. The weather scenes were great, but we would have liked to have seen more!, more build-up etc. Even with millions dead the film contrives to have a happy ending. This film will become a junk-cult-classic with the years.

Big Fish
(2003)

Brilliant slow-burner
This is more a poem than a film. I haven't dared read other people's comments, because I want these comments to be mine, that means of course that I may just repeat the obvious. Is there a hint of Mark Twain story telling here? This a fairy tale in a modern setting, with an explanation of how the original fairy tales came to life? There are so many elements and levels here, but a real slow burner (which has put a lot of people off). A father-son film, my small son was cuddled on my lap when we watched this, which made it more meaningful. Of course it's a film where nothing really happens (or does it?), because it the end it's a film about the ordinariness of life and one man's attempt to escape it.If you didn't like this film , please give it another chance!

Gothika
(2003)

Not good on a small screen
This film (like many) cheats on the special effects (may be better on a big screen), with a lot of gloom, blurring and flashing, dream sequences, flashbacks, so I was often not sure what I'd seen, which rather negated the wished for scariness. My main objection to the film is however the thoroughly unpleasant crimes that are at the centre of the film, sorry I don't wish to see films about such things. A few marks for trying to be different, the heroine saves herself rather than relying on some male. There are so many special effects that nobody apart from the heroine really gets chance to develop as a character. Probably was a good film in there!!

Shrek 2
(2004)

I assumed I'd like it
I had to take my kids to see Shrek2, and really assumed that I'd like it. I thought visually it was stunning, much better than Toy Story which rather tired my eyes. I felt the wicked fairy godmother wasn't wicked enough. There were some odd bits to Shrek2, Pinochio with ladies underwear, a giant gingerbread man, we meet various characters from the classic fairy tales, but they don't get time to develop. Isn't an ogre supposed to be strong? I just never really felt involved in the story, it felt contrived, even the oh-so subtle product placement.

For the first time ever though I thought hey these animes are better/as good as than real actors. I think I could accept a serious film with these animes.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
(2003)

League of Arbitrary Events
This film is an old fashioned Saturday morning matinee film, where you get the impression that they made up the "er hem" plot as they went along. Don't get me wrong, you can watch this film with no problem, the IMDB score is as usual spot on with 5.5. The heros rush off to various places, various good guys turn out to be bad guys and vice versa, you don't really care enough to wonder why. Absolutely implausible things happen. The film comes to an end , and leaves an embarrassingly obvious opening for a sequel, which no one will care about either way. What most of here are complaining about is WHAT THIS FILM COULD HAVE BEEN! Great idea wasted.

Scooby-Doo
(2002)

Scooby Beats The Passion in the UK
I had to take my kids to this, I'd rather enjoyed Scooby1 so was expecting something OK. Once again the IMDB score was spot on (currently 4.9). This was another production-line Hollywood product with all the right ingredients, Star Names, Excellent CGI, plot with twists and turns, so what exactly is wrong with it? Well I don't really know? It just seems to have no soul. Nothing is really funny. Shaggy works overtime to try and breathe life into the movie. All the other characters have to go thru tedious moments of self-doubt. Yet Scooby2 has been the number 1 film in the UK over Easter easily beating the Passion. Scooby3; yawn!!!

Gigli
(2003)

Just a rainy-day dull film
Gigli is slowly climbing away from the bottom of the bottom 100, currently about 7th worst. I think that's still unfair. I think the main problem of this film is that it's dull, none of the characters are really worthy of interest. You don't believe that Gigli is a thug, that J-Lo is a lesbian thug or that the "retard" is real. The cameos from Walken & Pacino are catastrophic. As I write this Bonnie & Clyde come to mind but without the glamour and excitement. You can see this film tried really hard to be worthy, the desperate attempt of losers to find happiness. There are hundred's of worse films out there!! You could watch it all the way through.

Highlander II: The Quickening
(1991)

We should ban sequels of "Perfect" films
A friend went to see this and came back white-faced with disgust & horror. I saw much it later and was just disgusted. Even later when I saw Matrix II I realised they had the same problem how could you follow practically perfect films, both films terminate with Nirvana , where could the scriptwriter go? all that's left was regurgitation, implausabilty.

Hollywood don't mess with our dreams!!

We should vote on whether they should be allowed to make sequels.

Little Britain
(2003)

Little Britain "When people in the South are going to bed.."
... The people in the North are just getting up. I haven't ever watched "League of Gentleman" so Little Britain for me is a 100% a new experience. The first few times you watch it you really don't know what's going on. "Dr Who" Tom Baker provides surreal commentary between sketches. You puzzle who are your favorite characters, there are so many, Yeiis!! I think Anglophile foreign viewers will also be in for a real treat, I mean we've been stuck on this Island for a 1000 years and we're real weird!!

Signs
(2002)

Very high twoddle factor
This must have been one of the cheapest films to make ever. The set hardly moved out of their house, must have cost a bit for the corn they trampled I suppose. Disappointingly we learn very little about crop circles. Had about 1% of the suspense of the 6th sense. Oh well passed the time till I have to go to bed.

The Office
(2001)

I come from Slough!
Even people from Slough have signs on their car windows "Happiness is seeing Slough in your Rear View Mirror". During the war the enemy was invited to bomb Slough; "Come friendly bombs rain on Slough")(no joke).

The Office is one of those programs which when you happen across it, for the first half-hour or so you're completely baffled, its format is so unusual, then before you know it you're hooked.

It's really about the horror of passing so much time with the SAME people (more than with our families). Where any minor incident like the photocopier jamming becomes a slight relief from monotony.

If you like The Office then try "Alan Partridge" like David Brent another nightmarish figure

Rat Race
(2001)

Over-the-top comedy
We really enjoyed this film. So I was surprised to find all the negativity here. The film has a good pace, with enough twists and turns to keep your interest. Reminded me a bit of our "Carry On" films. The Barbie joke was perhaps the best. The betting scenes were always amusing. I thought Cuba Gooding was out of place, the scene where he persuades the driver to lend him his clothes was silly. But heck I've seen a million duller films than this. I suppose the IMDB score of 6.5 is about right.

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