Good date movie, but not one that should be seen alone. I have to admit that I wasn't exactly thrilled to have to see "The Bachelor." However, with deadlines weighing down and other stuff to do, I knew I had to get it done, no matter what the pain. I thought this would be a chick flick. Or, at least so I thought, but it later turned out.that I was right. It was a chick flick. "The Bachelor" starts out with a scene of mustangs (horses, not the cars) running across the Western plains as Chris O'Donnell ("Batman & Robin") narrates a comparison of men to mustangs, trying to run free while looking for the "sweet grasses," but still trying to avoid getting roped. The use of the metaphor throughout the whole story bears strange resemblence to another movie (out in theaters now) which uses the same technique. The actual meat of the story begins with Mr. O'Donnell, playing Jimmy Shannon, a (duh) bachelor. At the time, he is trying to break up with his girlfriend in the restaurant while sitting at a booth next to one holding Anne, played by Renee Zellweger (who has a strange name). After Jimmy's breakup, Anne flirts with him, and they for some strange reason start to date. At this point, I must point out that I went into the theater expecting O'Donnell to be a wooden emotionless actor, but I was surprised. He is decent, at least. I cannot say the same for Zellweger, who's irritating voice, irritating pouting, and irritating lack of emotion were, needless to say, irritating! Hmm.what other movie has a leading lady like this ("I'll never let go, Jack!")? Aside from her though, the acting is overall good.
Anyway, the story proceeds to explain the dating of Anne and Jimmy, and the evictment of all of Jimmy's friends from bachelor hood by the most dreaded of events: the tossing of the bouquet. Eventually Anne catches it and Jimmy, being commitmentphobic, doesn't want to go through with it. He tries to get advice from a bunch of his fellow workers at the pool hall he owns. One of these workers is the folically challenged Ed Asner (I don't care if you haven't heard of him), who tries to help, but fails. When Jimmy is at a high class romantic restaurant with Anne, he makes a horribly botched attempt at proposal. The words of love: "You win." Anne is ticked off. She doesn't respond to his phone calls and doesn't take notice of the three zillion roses she sends to him. Then Jimmy's grandfather dies. Now, the grandfather's main prospect for his grandson was that he marry and procreate, as required in the old man's will. Unless Jimmy marries a girl, lives with her for ten years, hangs around with her practically all the time, and has children by her, he cannot collect the inheritance. The inheritance? Oh, not much, just One Hundred Million Dollars! So now Jimmy is desperate. He tries one last time to propose to Anne, but it also fails, as Jimmy can't keep the proper game face for proposal. Anne goes away with her sister on a retreat, and Jimmy is left asking every girl he ever dated to marry him. These escapades are at times amusing, as Jimmy goes through six or seven women, always getting "no" for an answer, or even better, a slap or an effigy of himself up in flames. The best part of these scenes is the fact that a few of the girls are big name stars. Jennifer Esposito plays Daphne, a cop. Brooke Shields plays Buckley, the girl who gets closest to marrying Jimmy. The best cameo was Ilana, played by everyone's favorite "Heartbreaker," Mariah Carey, who surprisingly plays a singer (who would've thought?). The basic plot line from then on is Jimmy's attempt to hook up with Anne, while all of the workers at his pool hall just want him hitched, for without the money, the place will shut down. It's a race against time, as the marriage must be made by 6:05pm on Jimmy's 30th birthday! What will happen? Will they make it in time? Does anybody care? Not me, frankly. This is not the sort of a movie that a guy could just sit down and watch. You need a significant other to enjoy "The Bachelor." Guys, you gotta bring your girlfriend to this, otherwise you will not enjoy it. You need support when watching this film, at least for the first half. It perks up after that, but if you don't have someone to revive you, you'll sleep through the whole thing, and the ushers in the theater will pop your limp form into a bag and you'll wake up in a trash can.