ApolloBoy109

IMDb member since July 1999
    Lifetime Total
    150+
    IMDb Member
    21 years

Reviews

Clutch Cargo
(1959)

Used to be on WGN Chicago every morning on Garfield Goose
A kid's show from the 1960s. It was not a "cartoon" per se. It was a still photo of animation with superimposed real dude "lips" speaking the dialog. Also, never understood why an unmarried man adopted a ten-year old boy and called him his ward instead of his son. I'm looking at you too Batman. And to drag this dim-witted boy (named Spinner, a code word for a passive gay guy) into dangerous situations should have gotten Clutch arrested. Lastly Clutch's name.

noun 1. a tight grasp or an act of grasping something. "he made a clutch at his body"

Just saying ...

Downton Abbey
(2019)

Every inch a perfect 10
Cried 6 times. Watched characters I have come to love have their character arc get wrapped up. It's rare when an audience burts into applause at the end but my saturday afternoon cinema was full.

Each actor amazing. The surprises unexpected. The love. The staff serving at table. The King and the Queen. What will we do when Maggie Smith goes to the great theatre in the sky. Woman has been apart of my entertainment since the Prime of Miss Jane Brodie where she screamed in the very last minute of the movie "Assassin!"

Love it.

Child's Play
(2019)

Yeahhhhhh ... No
A doll possessed by a psycho murderer (and a satan worshipper at that) ... is far more frightening than an electronic doll with messed up programming. Having repeated that sentence outloud I am now laughing at the idea.

Wow that was somekind of high-tech programming and such real life movement. Well yeah, cause it was built in Asia and those people no nothing else in the world but electronics. So yeah ... hmmm!

Having a doll become self-aware was just too unbelieveable for me. I buy a possesed doll. (as stupid as that sounds). These types of dolls run on battery power or pluggin them into a port station. There is down time during which the doll can be destroyed!!

Lastly these are some of the reasons why the film only made 27 million on a film budget of 10 million. Also figure in marketing expensives ... at least 25 million. So the film lost money at the end of the day.

The last word... Mark Hamill? Really? His voice pulled me out of the movie and I couldn't get back into it after that.

A Star Is Born
(2018)

Trash
The first two versions outshine this rape of the original story line. When did "A Star is Born" become all about Norman Maine? Why Cooper? Why isn't Gaga featured more than you??

Are we sure she qualifies to be a Best Actress nominee? You're in it more than she is. Why? With regard to this story, no one cares about your character, just be an ass. But no, you wanted the audience to love you. Urination scene. Really? The Dog? Really. You just threw anything at the screen and hoped it would stick. Too bad you wasted the talent that is Lady Gaga!!

And I thought Streisand's version was a complete insane rock-n-roll vanity production. No, Cooper bests Babs!!

Bohemian Rhapsody
(2018)

It was like a religious experience
My lord what a wonderful movie. It struts and amuses and sings, gets into your heart and gets the audience fired up.

Rami Malek becomes a legend and has the power to follow thru with a stunning performance. Best Actor nod, I'm thinking. The Band members, Brian, Roger and John were wonderfully performed. The cast worked well together.

This movie for some unknown reason is getting at lot of flack from critics ... reminds me of the scene in the movie when "Ray" doesn't want to play the song Bohemian Rhapsody because he doesn't get it!! I don't think the critics get it.

We fans, we get it. We loved it and I'm goingg back again. See it in Imax format!

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
(2018)

Number Five and Counting
First third of the movie is a check list. Gwen's changed. Owen hasn't. Expendable morons assume all creatures are dead cliche.

Weak Bad Guy.

Old dude ... a Millionaire who owns a huge lush private island BUT does not have a staff of gardners, cooks, maids, bulters, a yacht captain/crew , a medical staff (he's hooked into machines) and at least 10 security guards. And the biggest insult screenwriters gave us, One frigging lawyer?? I have three and I'm a nobody. You're trying to tell me an old man who has made millions is SO STUPID as to confront a bad guy from his bed??? "Call the police on yourself!" Screw you movie!

Second third. Escaping the Island ... dumb fun awesomeness. (I will not mention the many cinema sins) Landing on the island with dinos ... nice scene loved it.

Final Third. For what I wanted ... perfect. Maises twist. Blue. The new dino. Love B.D. Wong. Goldblum underused.

Final Word: Director showed us Clair's shoes 5 times!!! As if to say see ... sensible shoes to run in.

Young Sheldon
(2017)

It has improved.
And the next episode introduces the legend Annie Potts as the 'cool' Mee-maw. Tonight there were smile moments, laughter a few times and a good theme. "Making Friends" I hope the young Vietnam character is recurring.

I felt more for the characters this episode. Sheldon's attempt to make friends was very funny and human.

The FBI moment was classic!!!

Debut Review:

Right now, it's a non-story.

We know too much about Sheldon because of 10 seasons of The Big Bang. For example we know he learned nothing in his youth about navigating society. Most of his learned lessons come after season one therefore where can this story line go? Week after week a sitcom explores and develops its main character through new experiences. They explore. They get burned. They learn. But this sitcom is forced to sit on its hands because "fish out water" stories usually end with, "Oh, I didn't know that" ending on a warm and fuzzy note. How can the creative team do that considering what we already know. We know his father is due to die. That will change everything. I have heard the awesome Annie Potts is cast as MeeMaw. What a great bit of casting however the "wise sage" character usually teaches the youthfulprotagonist a lesson per episode.

How can he learn things and still connect the dots to the first season of Big Bang. What? Does he learn lessons in his youth only to forget them as an adult? I don't think so, not with his endemic memory. So where do we go from here? On personal note everything looks wonderful, the casting is great and there is some humor. Reduce the fathers and brothers role, pump up Missy and Mom. Lastly find humor in the 'attempts' of those around Sheldon to teach him something. It would make sense that he is just too stubborn to learn 'that lesson' at this point in his young life.

1941
(1979)

I know ... I know ...
... but I love this movie. This type of all-star comedy broadly plays out, getting crazier and crazier as the plot unravels, is a slice of bygone Hollywood.

Think "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World!" "The Russians are Coming, the Russians are Coming," "Cold Turkey" "The Great Race!" And the godfather of them all "Around the World in 80 Days" These films I saw as a kid at the local Drive-In called Route 66.

Famous faces, dozens of cameos, broad humor and all presented with an innocence that longer exists in today's cinematic world.

I am just asking you to view it once, Once, perhaps at Christmas, or because John Belushi is awesome or because there is a dance sequence that is so amazing, you might have to rewind and watch it twice!!

Phoenix Forgotten
(2017)

We Know
We know the concept/storyline here is based on a curious event which took place in 1997 in AZ when strange lights appeared above Phoenix.

Director/Writer(s) spin every sci-fi troupe we know. "Lost Footage", Aliens in that region of the US, Air Force jets flying over head, nosebleeding, electronics fail, plucky kids ... and so on.

We know what's going to happen from the get-go. We know because it has already been done repeatedly since H.G. Wells.

Kids see lights, investigate and are never seen again. We did not have to wait and see the "missing" video tape to confirm the conclusion of the story. We knew.

The build-up was not worth a conclusion we knew was coming. Without a surprise or a twist at the end, I am forced to suggest ... you skip it and save your money.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
(2016)

Meh
1. It's not bad

2. It's too long

3. The central idea of God vs Man was not sufficiently explored

4. There's little plot

5. It's too dark

6. There's no humor

7. I never want to watch another scene depicting the death of Bruce's parents AGAIN

8. I never want to see villain Lex Luther (in any form) ever AGAIN

9. All the same old tropes are repeated

10. Batman and Superman are soulless characters

11. Gollywood keeps remaking the same movies over and over AGAIN

12. Dream sequences added nothing to an already weak storyline

In the end, this movie is really a two and a half hour trailer for the DC universe Go Wonder Woman!! Liked the idea of an aged Batman. Henry did not capture Clark Kent at all! Lois Lane is window dressing. Too many cameos that slowed the pace of the film.

This may be the last superhero movie I watch for a while. Maybe I am jaded but Gollywood seems to repeating itself ... and only ... for the all-might buck!

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For
(2014)

Frank Miller is in a literary coma
This disaster may not fell him, but "they" will be closing calculating the economics of future endeavors. I will not mention Robert Rodriguez for is wrong to speak ill of the dead. Well, dead career anyway. He's doing TV.

Mr. Miller can't write real dialogue, gritty or otherwise. As a self-proclaimed geek, his reflects a sad opinion on woman. To him they are only b*tches, Wh*res or corrupt entities -- he can not relate to woman on paper -- never has. No female character escapes his inability to make real character we care about.

There is no humanity, no great cause … just creative blood letting. I have not like his past films, that's not always his fault. (see my review of 300) but then I never liked Elektra either

Only six million on its first weekend? Really? At this moment Sunday 24, 2014 (noon) in the United States of America there are only 24 reviews on IMDb? Speaks volumes.

Having said all of this, this movie will be released in foreign lands with less than a critical eye. The movie will probably recoup its money eventually.

Thing is … in those foreign lands, China for instances, the government profits more from international films than Hollywood. Other countries also take a bigger slice of the pie than American movie houses.

I'll let that sink in.

Summing up this plot less anthology is hard … Marv has super powers, Josh Brolin is wrong for Dwight. Eva Green is the highlight of the movie, well her and some boob shots. Joseph acquits himself.

A violent film noir art film which develops no characterizations, no sense of danger, reality (with in its own universe) but comes with the extra seasoning of "Haven't we seen this all before" …. done better?

You're Next
(2011)

Nothing new, rather a yawn fest
The current generation of Horror film makers continue to reply on tropes created 30 years ago. Though chocked full of gore, stabbing and backstabbing relatives, the film offers no scares or thrills. After The Strangers (which I did not like either) every movie now has to have cute masks (Purge anyone?)

As a result of the mundane horror movies of late, I have made the decision to stop going to them. Apparently I am not alone in that thought, as this film has made a paltry 17M. Box office mojo does not list the budget, which tells me it's more than 17M. (Not figuring in marketing costs) Furthermore it was shelved for a year, so some decision- maker didn't think this it was as good as some of the teenagers reviewing it here on IMDb.

A 7 rating? Really? That's just shameful.

After Earth
(2013)

Creative people shouldn't have complete control
But hey, Will Smith put his own money on the line and that of his friends and family. So they lost. It's a write-off. I guess M. Night Sham-a-lama ding-dong is an inexpensive director considering the disaster of his last five films. Who cares. He'll be directing TV soon, one would guess.

Ten Things that Made this film awful

1. Will Smith doing a Gary Sinise impression. Wooden!

2. So they smell fear but we can't reproduce that smell put it on drones and blow them up? So people fight them with a stick?

3. What kind of accent was that? Why did we need one? Poor actors can't do accents well.

4. There's no original story, nothing unexpected or surprising.

5. Maybe 130M isn't enough of a budget to get good CGI!

6. Apparently 1000 years from now we're all retarded. (Sorry) Mentally challenged.

7. So the Condor didn't evolve into a predator of humans.

8. And how is it these earth animals evolved hating humans, who've they've never seen?

9. Will was criminally under used. Why couldn't they go on the adventure together?

10 Will and Jaden have no chemistry what so ever.

Note to Jaden: Because of your father's misguided attempt to pimp you out to the world, you are now the most hated privileged little b@stard on the planet.

Seriously dude, I have come across We Hate Jaden websites.

Sad comment on the world at large but it seems your father's plan has backfired. Saw you on the street the other day in your Iron Man costume. Smart boy. Keep your face hidden.

Shame on you Will! You must be aware that he's talentless. The theatre was empty, A friend let me slip in the side door, so I didn't pay for this mess. I am sorry for people who did.

Shame on you Will!!!!!!

The Great Gatsby
(2013)

I wanted to like it .... so bad, but ....
Nick Carraway in a nut house? What? His time with Gatsby gave him a nervous breakdown? Why? You stink Chris Pearce (screenwriter) This concept undermines F. Scott's entire point!!!!

This is an unnecessary film captured in the swirling glory of 3-D, sweeping cameras, excess and the decadent rich ad nauseam. With the author's prose in actual words on the screen and fireworks in the sky, we are given a weak script, failed characterizations devoid of all meaning.

The music takes you completely out of the jazz age and dumps you in a glitzy nightmare populated with no characters no audiences can invest in.

On a personal note DiCaprio is not good looking enough nor talented enough to play Gatsby. No one is.

There should be a rule regarding certain pieces of literature, filmmakers can't film them just to make money.

Walking out of the film I am reminded of parties I have attended, and stayed too late, only to wake up amongst the stale remains and debris of the previous nights excess.

When DiCaprio said, "Old Sport", the audience laughed. Like the film itself, it was unnatural.

Evil Dead
(2013)

Steamy pile of stupid vomit
There are no characters. Just people. The heroin intervention, only a ploy to get them there. Gore. And more gore. An exercise in gore is not a movie.

There is a no story. No back story on anything or anyone. Just Gore.

There is no Ash!

There is no humor!

Then what is the point of a remake? Gore! Only thing that makes this crapfest a remake is the title, Evil Dead. They could have called, We Are Stealing Souls (and your money) and no one would have said, that reminds me of Evil Dead.

They would have said, that reminds me of (fill in the blank) And gore.

A chainsaw doesn't make it a remake!!!

Did I mention the gore?

Pathetic!

Safety Not Guaranteed
(2012)

Sci-fi character study with wonderful performers
A little romance, excellent writing and wounded people all wrapped in a sci-fi Valentine. I could not have liked it more. The leads acted out their character arcs perfectly. Direction top notch. Just a little indie movie that stays in yer mind and put a smile on your face.

So if you could travel in time, when would you go, and more importantly why would you go.

Everyone has regret. Sometimes people tell lies to cover their pain. Sometimes. And everyone is human.

Make some popcorn, get with the one you care for, and watch it. It will make you smile!!

By hat is off to Derek Connolly, the screenwriter!

The Strangers
(2008)

Stupid Movie
What was this for? What was this about?

As far as I can tell, three psychopaths terrorize two people without reason. The movie is a hunt of humans. The three baddies are always in the right place, never make a mistake, never are harmed.

What is the point?

Forget about acting, direction and story. Three super villains with the best luck of all time get away with murder.

Victim number #1 asks. "Why are you doing this?"

Villain #2. "Cause you were home."

Really? Talk about lazy writing.

Is this what movies have boiled down to? It isn't a movie. Do not waste your time. I pray the screen hack never works again.

Victim
(2010)

Well done horror film
I had to make myself a drink after watching this film. I'd like to start by admitting that I'm a male. Also that I believe women should have rights over their lives and bodies without question.

The film will leave you a little shaky as was intended. The storyline is well thought out with many unexpected twists and turns. Hultquist and Matinez did a damn good job. Direction was fine, given an obvious limited budget the film seemed a tad scaled back. But no complaints. The less Eskandari showed the more freaked out I became.

Harrowing to watch. Especially if you see everyones point of view, motive and that of any victim of crime.

Actors Weigand and Bancroft turned in above-average performances. Weigand's character arc is particularly well done by the young actor.

Think I'll make myself another drink.

Unhappy Birthday
(2011)

Low rent Wicker Man with homoerotic angle
As we all know in order for most run-of-the-mill horror films to work the characters have to behave unbelievably stupid. They have to make foolish decisions to advance the agenda of the writer.

This film takes that meme to new heights of dumbness. Cribbed from The Wicker Man and mixed with the homoerotic earmarks of a David DeCoteau film, Unhappy Birthday fails to raise interest.

The man-on-man sex scenes, I suppose, are to shock and divert us from the failures of the script. And while the scenes were titillating, actors David Paisley and Jonathan are attractive and capable enough actors, the well-worn story is so painfully predictable. The feeble reason why they come to the island and the ending itself do not add up.

We know instantly they are in trouble. They do not. We know who is going to be the whack-job instantly. They do not. It's hard to root for people who are mindlessly being lead into a trap.

Lastly, the lead actress is neither convincing, attractive enough or engaging. The three-way scene between the leads exists only to add running time to this poor film.

Firefly
(2002)

Brilliant ... simply perfect
Many others have spoken about this TV series, probably putting their affection into more articulate thoughts than I.

Best damn thing I've seen since ... let me see ... Buffy? Dollhouse?

I have no idea why the network canned it, I only hope someone lost their job over the decision. Then again it is Fox and that's a really screwed up place.

The cast was perfect, the writing stellar but its the idea, the concept of a future that more or less returns us to the American frontier ... in space.

It must be true ... Joss is a genius. On a personal note: Nathan is the sexiest actor out there.

V/H/S
(2012)

Crap on a stick
Won't spoil anything - cause there's nothing worth spoiling. We've been here before. Nothing new. Move along now ... nothing to see.

The idea of the shaky camera is really to hide all the directors mistakes while trying to pass it off as "real" and intense and happening RIGHT NOW! A cast of nobodies, directors no one has ever heard of -- but a darn good marketing team.

Who wants to see flashes of a scene and then the camera twirls, someone screams, blood appears and we really don't have a clue what is going on. And after a while -- we don't care.

If your movie has to rely on this overused "trick" of shaky camera and whirling motion you're covering something up, like a lack of a story (professional directing) and solid character development.

This was a boring gimmick movie -

But hail to the marketing team (those great spin masters) for talking about people getting "sick" - Right. Yeah, motion sickness.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer
(1997)

Buffy jumps the Shark - season 5
At least we got four very special seasons of wonderful writing but the minute a mysterious unknown "pretend" sister appeared in Buffy's life it brought back memories of long gone TV shows that added kids characters in a last ditch effort to save their dying show (i.e. Cousin Oliver in the Brady Bunch, Andrew in Family Ties and Sam of Diff'rent Strokes) Of course this device has been used since the days of "I Love Lucy", none-the-less it changed the dynamics of Buffy, which had always found near perfect even with the frequent cast changes.

Furthermore, as an old sci-fi geek, I recognized the borrowing of the 1977 Doctor Who's story arc, The Key to Time. In that famous season where it is revealed in the final chapter that Princess Astra is a human key (to keep the bad guys in check) Buffy should not have had a kid sister real or pretend. The character of Dawn does nothing but slow our heroine down. Plain and simple. To be "saddled" with yet another innocent she must protect while doing her job just added a strange vibe in the proceedings.

After reading up on season five and learning that DAWN is in the show until it ended broke my heart. And so, as it was was when "Prue" from the TV Show Charmed died at the end of season 3, I decided to pack up and stop watching.

Next stop Supernatural, which my niece has been telling me I have to watch.

Bye Buffy -- Fangs for the memories.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Real Me
(2000)
Episode 2, Season 5

Buffy jumps the shark
At least we got four very special seasons of wonderful writing but the minute a mysterious unknown "pretend" sister appeared in Buffy's life it brought back memories of long gone TV shows that added kids characters in a last ditch effort to save their dying show (i.e. Cousin Oliver in the Brady Bunch, Andrew in Family Ties and Sam of Diff'rent Strokes) Of course this device has been used since the days of "I Love Lucy", none-the-less it changed the dynamics of Buffy, which had always been near perfect even with the frequent cast changes.

Furthermore, as an old sci-fi geek, I recognized the borrowing of the 1977 Doctor Who's story arc, The Key to Time. In that famous season where it is revealed in the final chapter that Princess Astra is a human key (to keep the bad guys in check) Buffy should not have had a kid sister real or pretend. The character of Dawn does nothing but slow our heroine down. Plain and simple. To be "saddled" with yet another innocent she must protect while doing her job just added a strange vibe in the proceedings.

After reading up on season five and learning that DAWN is in the show until it ended broke my heart. And so, as it was was when "Prue" from the TV Show Charmed died at the end of season 3, I decided to pack up and stop watching.

Next stop Supernatural, which my niece has been telling me I have to watch.

Bye Buffy -- Fangs for the memories.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Hush
(1999)
Episode 10, Season 4

Impressive
I have been watching Buffy on Netflix at the urging of my niece over the last month. I love Horror, and I did liked the original movie but the TV series blasts the movie out of the water. The writing is so provocative and rich. The acting perfect.

I choose HUSH to speak my peace on this well produced series because Mr Josh wrote this as a personal challenge... a wordless story - no voice. It is an important adventure as well because the two romantic leads ... ... are ... we'll say . . . educated regarding their involvement in nightly activities.

Do yourself a favor and enjoy the silence. BTW, you know more about lip reading than you think.

Ferocious Planet
(2011)

Radiation Theatre Strikes Again
There are a few problems with this TV movie from the emasculated Syfy Channel. I throw up a little in my mouth when I have to write its new name. Overall it's watchable and a traditional Radiation Theatre film. Here are some fun things about Ferocious Planet which I like to call The Quasi-Ferocious Planet.

Most actors had American accents at the beginning but the Irish started coming out toward the end. CarrieFisher-idice!

So this is John Rhys-Davies' new career. Show up for the 100K. Film a scene or two and get killed? He's done that like nine times. I wish I had a job like that.

Apparently there is only one type of creature inhabiting this forest on this random parallel universe. No bugs,snakes or creepy things to give us some cool jump moments. Too bad. Oh well, there was this mushroom but it didn't really do anything.

"We're out of time" is said so often I was truly convinced they were out of time.

The writer(s) apparently loved Jaws, Jurassic Park and Alien as a kid (who didn't!) Too bad writer(s) couldn't find a more appropriate place to use the homage line, "You're gonna need a bigger boat".

The science of how they got to the F. Planet in the first place was unintelligible, like a madman writing on a wall. It was a view scope to other dimensions that suddenly became a transporter device because . . .

Using only one creature (who looked like a Swiss Army Knife) mixed with the unusually high body count resulted in fewer creative kills. Just a Dinosaur with razors everywhere on its body.

Must say the effects were better than an average SyFy crap on a stick. OOps threw up a little again.

In summation, too many missed story opportunities and it drags towards the end.

So I leave you this advice: Don't poke the alien.

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