BOUF

IMDb member since July 1999
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    75+
    IMDb Member
    25 years

Reviews

Take a Girl Like You
(1970)

Reading Kingsley Amis's original novel is probably a better option
The opening titles (in funky 1970 font) are accompanied by the Foundations singing the title song, the hook of which sounds a lot like "Fly Me To The Moon" (aka "In Other Words"). If this film were set when Kingsley Amis, the novelist, set it, and when "Fly Me To The Moon" had its first success (mid-1950s) it might work better. Transposing the action to the dog-end of the swinging 60s is an awkward fit for a story about a young woman who comes from the North of England to a dull Southern town, and is determined to cling to her virginity, rings slightly false, but that's not the only problem. It's a curiously lifeless mix of sketch-comedy turns and a soapy boy-meets-girl sequences which never quite gels. Oliver Reed seems to be on automatic, Sheila Hancock is wasted, Noel Harrison is creepy, but Hayley Mills, despite being slightly too old for the central role of the girl is such a positive force, that every time she's on screen she almost saves this plod. She is a brilliant actress and an inspirational human being - at least that's the vibe I get from her performance in this pale adaptation of a very funny novel.

Goddess
(2013)

Old-fashioned musical without star power; well-meaning but misguided in most departments.
White Australian artistic expression has often been a hybrid of various external influences. A recent cinematic example is "Moulin Rouge" - Baz Luhrman's counter-intuitive, medley mash-up of musical and melodramatic segments, borrowed from other artists. "Goddess" may have found a wider audience had it adopted some of Luhrman's magpie muddle style. Laura Michelle Kelly plays a housewife, whose husband leaves her for long spells to care for their infant twin boys on an idyllic Tasmanian farm. Laura, a Londoner, and former professional singer, is so frustrated by her isolation that she takes to streaming herself (on the www), singing cabaret songs which describe her life. When Laura's performances attract the notice of a powerful agent (Magda Szubanski), Laura is whisked off to Sydney and turned into an internet star. Hubby, (Ronan Keating) an Irishman, who records whale songs in the Antarctic, stays at home to look after the kids...He resents the boot being on the other foot; conflict and hilarity ensue.This isn't an unusual scenario for a romantic comedy. It's fine; but this kind of high-gloss soufflé needs much more experienced hands to make it entertaining for 90 minutes. "Goddess" has its moments, but the problem is that it feels like a nice little vehicle with a two-stroke motor that's been given a limmo chassis and no V8 motor. Perhaps it started life as a one-woman cabaret show, on to which writers and producers have grafted all kinds of extras, which dwarf its original charm. The songs are... okay, and probably work well, in the intimacy of a cabaret, performed by someone who can reach out into the room and pull you into her world. Laura Michelle Kelly may be very charming on a stage. On film she tries too hard, she has too few expressions, which wear thin. The director also tries too hard, as do the choreographer and the costume designer. Many of the songs and the dances almost work. The songs haven't got the oomph that the 70s/80s Hollywood/Broadway staging tries to lend them; the choreography seems borrowed from a similar school; it's of the aerobic, try-hard variety, which seldom communicates any joy. Ronan Keating is fine, in an understated way, but he looks awkward. Magda S. (the first time I've found her only slightly funny) seems hampered by her English accent. (Why are the 3 main characters Anglos?). Nothing quite works. It may have been lovely film on a much more intimate scale. The photography is very pretty.

Canyon Passage
(1946)

Beautiful-looking, thoroughly entertaining old-fashioned western with stars at their best.
I was lucky enough to buy a British DVD copy of this little gem - an excellent transfer. Mostly set in the gold-mining town of Jacksonville, Oregon, it's a Technicolor western with a great story, fascinating characters, excellent acting, lovely music, beautiful art direction, costumes and fabulous outdoor scenery. Right from the opening, you get a good feeling of what it was like in Oregon, how people lived and thought; and we're quickly plunged into their lives. Dana Andrews and Susan Hayward are at their best and most beautiful, photographed by Edward Cronjager. Andrews, a scout, turned trader, is not his usual taciturn hero. There's a lightness to him. Susan Hayward's cheeky independence is very appealing, and she looks particularly fresh and beautiful. Patricia Roc, makes her USA movie debut as Dana Andrew's maidenly sweetheart, and Ward Bond is a really scary villain. His menace from his first appearance is palpable I've never seen him photographed to such unnerving effect. Brian Donlevy plays a likable banker, who has a gambling problem, and is accused of murder. Andrews helps him escape a lynch mob, but I'll give no more away. There's even time for a few songs from local minstrel, Hoagy Carmichael. This is director Jacques Tourneur's first western and it seems to me that he brings a very European eye to the production - the overall colouring is ravishing.

A Dangerous Method
(2011)

Mostly lifeless, unconvincing, clinical museum piece. Nice photography.
Fassbender plays a very stiff, dull, unimaginative Jung, who has an affair with a loopy patient (Knightley, who gives new meaning to 'chewing the scenery') and ropes in a constipated Freud (Mortenson) to make smug pronouncements. It all takes place in the most pristine and clinically clean surroundings and resembles a kind of moving history exhibit of early psychoanalysis; all beautifully shot and utterly lifeless. Suddenly Vincent Cassell appears and we are reminded of what real human beings are like. Unfortunately he soon disappears and we are left with the stolid Fassbender, the deranged Knightley, and the pleased-with-himself Mortenson. I must admit that I gave up on this film at the halfway point. Thus far it was so uninvolving, empty and humourless (Cassell excepted). I couldn't care less about the dreary affair between Jung and his well-to-do nutter, and I feared that Knightley may be further encouraged to jaw-jut and teeth-gnash; Jung would probably continue to suffer and repress, and Freud to smirk. I may be wrong, the second half of the film may be a revelation, but probably one of a very clinical nature.

Salvation Boulevard
(2011)

Good idea, competent plotting, poor direction, miscast leads. Misfire on most cylinders.
I hate to state the obvious but Pierce Brosnan isn't funny. He may be very talented at all kinds of other genres, but in this film he seems to constantly choose the non-funny way of playing every scene . Jennifer Connelly ditto, but she probably knows she's not funny. Greg Kinnear is wont to be superficial, but when he is well directed he can be amusing. Here he has very little to work with, character-wise, and is irritatingly dull. There are so many sequences in this film that could be funny, but aren't, due to a combination of casting and direction. It's a film full of unrealised potential. Marisa Tomei, actually seems to have an idea of who her character is, and in her lamentably scant appearances is convincing and winning. She wrung a few laughs out of me, because she is almost director-proof. Ciaran Hinds, similarly, almost works. I did keep watching because the plotting is well wrought. In other words: I wanted to see what would happen next. BUT Comedy is just about the toughest gig to pull off. It needs an experienced comedy director and leads who are funny. Stop wasting money!

A Month by the Lake
(1995)

Slither of romantic fluff, mishandled in almost every department.
It seems like a good baby=boomer escapist package: Redgrave, Fox, Thurman, but take a director who's unsuited to romantic meringues, a cast with no chemistry, and a script in which so little happens that a month by the lake seems stretch into a decade; and you're in trouble. Edward Fox seems sensible casting as the correct British major, but he's awkward, unconvincing, and made to play most scenes too large or too thin. Ms Redgrave, despite the 1937 setting is wearing clothes she bought in Hampstead last week, and carries on like an over-excited schoolgirl. Perhaps all the fun was contained within the set. She's unconvincing, as is her relationship with Mr Fox, which, unfortunately is the glue of the story. Her rival for his affections is Uma Thurman, who distinguishes herself by giving a misguided reading of every line she has to utter. She can't even wave goodbye convincingly. Every moment she's on screen is excruciatingly wrong. The director takes a cack-handed approach to the tone of almost every scene; the structure is awkward, and even the close-ups of the two leads are unflattering and clumsy - especially those of Mr Fox. Alida Valli, manages to be Irvin-proof; Nicola Piovani provides some sweet, schmaltzy music and Pasqualino de Santis's photography is very pretty.

Port Afrique
(1956)

Familiar whodunnit in North African setting. Lovely colour photography, little else.
POSSIBLE SPOILER AHEAD. This Technicolour mystery-thriller opens with a short sequence in a night club, scant of people and atmosphere. An awkward Pier Angeli (Anna Maria Pierangeli), seems to be the main attraction. Swathed in unflattering dark green satin, she attempts a stiff sort of undulation as she moves and sings a tepid song in Spanish and English. Her expression is strained, uncertain, and that little girl innocence that so charmed audiences in 'Teresa', seems to have been replaced by caginess. Perhaps, the audience thinks, this is part of the story which will unfold, or perhaps it's the unlikely casting of Pier as a 'sultry nightclub entertainer'; it's an ungainly start. However, when she's not required to be sultry, she's capable and likable and well photographed by Wilkie Collins. I never believed her character might be murderer, because when she isn't performing at the night-club, she wears the better tailored soft blues and demure white collars of a nice girl. It's a pleasant change to see James Hayter playing a sleazy crook, although he's not threateningly villainous. No-one else is worth mentioning, not even Dennis Price, (who is better suited to monochrome); they're all victims of Xerox storytelling. The plot has a whiff of Casablanca, among others, but the most agreeable aspect of the film is the colour. The print I saw was lovely and subtle, particularly in the interiors. I suspect the director, a former cameraman of great ability, concentrated on the look, because the script offers little.

Daisy Miller
(1974)

Curiously empty, uneventful, undramatic piece about Americans in Europe, with fatally uninteresting stars
It almost feels mean to criticise Cybill Shepherd for being so unsuitable for this role, as she is so miscast. She plays the Daisy of the title, and is dull. When we first meet her, she's a pretty, spoilt, self-obsessed tease, and that's it. 90 minutes later that's still it. Barry Brown (Frederick) is, unfortunately, equally dull and one-note. Frederick chases Daisy, she teases him, and repeat until the end credits. That's a tough watch - especially when you've seen Ms Shepherd do it before, more concisely. Mr Brown has few expressions which give a hint of anything inside him that we may care to know more about. This film needed stars, or, at least, compelling character actors. The boredom is relieved by occasional flashes of melodrama in Eileen Brennan's eyes (but even they become repetitive), and some lovely photography, but the whole is empty of story, character, history, social milieu; even the dialogue goes on too much and is either commonplace or flatly rendered. There are moments of interesting observation, but there are scant. I shall read the Henry James story on which the film is based and try to work out what it was that the makers of this vacant film were striving for.

The Captive Heart
(1946)

Excellent depiction of life in a p-o-w camp; less successful multi-strand love stories
BEWARE! A SPOILER re the ENDING. A Czech, escaping from the Nazis, Michael Redgrave, (the nominal star and lead character), assumes the identity of a dead British officer to evade punishment. It's a perfect part for Redgrave, who must be one of the most diffident performers in the history of the movies. What does he actually want or feel? And he's not fascinatingly enigmatic, he's irritating. Redgrave's character is distant, unhappy with who he is, even unhappy with who he might be - at the most, 20% comfortable in his own skin. (Assuming someone else's identity seems to be what an actor like Redgrave must do, so he can live in an agony of semi-persona.) Half way through this curious, but interesting film, the Redgrave character, the Czech, decides to take up a correspondence with the wife of the British officer whose identity he's assumed. Then he'll have something to live for, someone to communicate with. After all, all the 'normal' chaps have a girl to write to. He doesn't seem to consider how much emotional harm he might do the wife, who believes she is corresponding with a formerly cold husband, who has suddenly found a warmth in his poetic descriptions of everyday life in the camp. Her descriptions of life in their little English village are read out to the chaps in the camp, and at last Mr Diffident seems to belong to something, even if it is all a lie. Meanwhile, there are various other love affairs, which have been interrupted by the war; the male halves of these affairs are in the camp; all the affairs are on rocky ground. All are swiftly, abruptly and unconvincingly resolved towards the end of the film, because they don't matter nearly as much as the film's loving commitment to the camaraderie of the camp (there's even a nostalgic shot of the abandoned camp, after the prisoners have all been repatriated as though the film yearns to be back there, rather than with these rather contrived, post-camp love matches). The most unconvincingly resolved love 'affair' is that between the Redgrave character and his ersatz wife. She's shocked that the hubby she thought had transformed himself into a poet, turns out to be a Czech impostor, and sends Redgrave - who now wants to belong to her - packing. But something about his sincere diffidence changes her mind and she takes him on. The End. A shame because it's a very strong dramatic idea, which is unsatisfactorily resolved The reason, I assume, for the perfunctory way with which all the 'love stories' are treated is either the film's running time, or that the film is really a love story about chaps, carrying on regardless of their aching hearts. The characters and scenes in the camp are well drawn; as a document of their camaraderie and coping capabilities, it's quite moving, but the love stories need a lot more work.

Piccadilly Incident
(1946)

A likable wartime romance, which loses its initial lightness and turns to melodrama
SOME PLOT SPOILER HEREIN, BUT NO GIVEAWAY OF THE ENDING. A chance meeting in war-torn Piccadilly, connects a well born Marine and an ex-hoofer Wren. They marry in haste, clearly meant for each other. War separates them, and she is missing, believed drowned, when her ship is torpedoed by the Jerries. She ends up on a desert island with some chirpy lower-classes and a creepy Canadian, who tries to move in on her. Meanwhile, back in Blighty, the marine plunges into grief (in an understated British way), but perks up, when he meets a jolly Yank gel, whom he marries. Meanwhile the Wren and her pals are rescued and she dashes back to the Marine's country seat, and...I shan't spoil the rest for you. Despite its descent from light drama into glum (and rather drawn-out) melodrama, this is a likable film, very prettily shot by Max Greene, and well directed by Ms Neagle's hubby, Herbert Wilcox. Michael Wilding is particularly good as the chap. (Apparently neither Rex Harrison nor John Mills were available for the part, so Wilding got it, and a good job too.) He has a delightful lightness of touch, with strong emotions burning quietly beneath. His lover, the slightly stodgier, scrupulously gracious Wren, Anna Neagle always reminds me of the nice girl at school, with whom one can't really find fault, but wishes had more oomph. Wilding brings out the best in her, and their scenes together really sparkle. It's a shame they spend so much of the film apart. There's an occasionally witty script from N. Phipps, a peculiar dance number, and very good work from the supporting cast, but a curious bit of casting in Michael Laurence as a distinctly creepy Canadian, who keeps up a constant, tense assault on our Anna. I wonder if the drama might have worked a bit better if he were genuinely likable, but not quite as likable as Mr Wilding. As it is, he's simply creepy, and we (the audience) don't want him to get a look-in. I originally saw this old hit, on the TV in Spain, in 1966, dubbed into Spanish. It works better in English, mainly for Michael Wilding's subtle style with a line, funny romantic or sad; and Brenda Bruce's very likable and emotionally truthful second-fiddle to Ms Neagle.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
(2011)

Ponderous, self-conscious, over-played, pseudo-atmospheric, centrally miscast tale of betrayal
I was very much looking forward to this film. I am a big fan of the book, and an even bigger fan of the TV series from the late 70s. I was utterly gripped by the TV series; mainly because I was so fascinated by the character of Smiley (as played by Alec Guinness). As far as I remember, Smiley was someone in whom almost none of the other characters had any genuine interest, nor had any love for. All his colleagues were tripping over themselves to betray him and each other. His wife treated Smiley like dirt, and was carrying on an affair with one of Smiley's colleagues, but I (the viewer) loved Smiley and his quiet determination, I hung in there, episode after episode, in the hope that Smiley, the underdog would have his day. The moment this film began and John Hurt appeared, wildly overacting, my heart sunk. It continued to sink as the camera lingered on the appalling overacting of all those other usually fine lead actors, and rejoiced in the drabness of 70s England and its civil service interiors. Gary Oldman, who plays Smiley seems so determined not to overact that he's overacting at under-acting. He is so self-consciously withdrawn, he seems to be screaming 'look at me being enigmatic'. He has no character whatsoever, except that of a quiet, smug man in a raincoat, who notices things. I didn't care about him at all, or about anyone else, because I didn't believe for a second in their reality so I didn't care whether Smiley found out who the mole is or not. The story moved so slowly with such an inflated sense of its own importance, that I fell asleep and woke up just as someone was being shot. It doesn't matter who.

Quatre étoiles
(2006)

Overly talky, poorly developed misfire about a 'mis-matched' couple on the Riviera.
It's possible to believe in Stephane, the con man who operates in a smart hotel on the Riviera, but he's not particularly interesting or likable; and why he falls in love with the schoolteacher who is spending her small inheritance is a mystery. And we are supposed to believe that the schoolteacher instantly transforms into a tough business-person, and falls in love with Stephane. I didn't. I neither believed her character, nor liked her dishonest and greedy manner. Stephane's friend the tongue-tied, love-struck racing car champ (Cluzet) was another idea without any basis in character. And everyone talks all the time, while I was longing for them to get out and see a bit of the Riviera and do something. By the halfway mark I was wondering if this might have made a decent film with a better script some charismatic actors, and a director with some visual flair, but it was merely an idea to revive a sort of "To Catch a Thief" with very little understanding of the dramatic infrastructure or charm, or pace of that film, I realised I was dreaming. The Hitchcock picture isn't that good, but next to this one, it's a masterpiece. "Quatre Etoiles" has a couple of good ideas, but they do not a feature film make.

Burning Man
(2011)

Gorgeous photography and tricky structure can't hide meagre, overlong story and dull central performance.
Initially I was dazzled. I didn't mind that I was being toyed with, because watching this brilliant piece of manufactured cinema-conjuring was exciting. I was always aware that I was watching a clever movie, rather than being immersed in an emotional experience. But once I'd worked out what was going on and who was who I become tired of the repetitive backwards/forwards structure, and the lack of anything to say, apart from the fact that the smarty-pants hero finds grieving a tough call. The central character - played with about three expressions by Matthew Goode - suffers a tragedy and tries to cope by behaving like an adolescent on a bender, which, I assume, is supposed to be endearing, but is mostly tedious and repetitive. He and his beloved wife are well suited, as she is equally pleased with herself. Their son, the only character I really cared about is worth watching; as is Essie Davis, as his aunt. There are a few touching moments, but they are far outweighed by scenes that you've seen before, in better and worse dramas on TV and in other movies, and even already in this film... on and on and on with no progression. The Script Editors should re-train. This would make a terrific short; unfortunately it's a long.

The Blue Gardenia
(1953)

Studio-bound plodder with no surprises, but a nice turn by Burr.
This film was merely distributed by Warner Bros. One feels that had it been produced in-house, 15 years earlier, it would have been a snappy 65 minute number and all the better for it. The movie opens with some wide, exterior shots of Los Angeles traffic, and doesn't get a lot more interesting, except for a nice turn by Raymond Burr as a Lothario. The rest is a predictable, leisurely TV-type 'thriller' with Anne Baxter at her most simpering, waking up beside the dead body of a man she got drunk with. Ann Sothern tries to inject some fun, (fun wasn't Lang's strong suit) as does Jeff Donnel, while Richard Conte looks almost bored. (He's a curious actor, his eyes seem to betray a kind of constant sadness and anxiety, while here, he's at pains [!] to appear cool). The storytelling is adequate and there are a couple of excitingly edited moments, during a struggle, but Mr Lang did so much better in some of his other films. Who knows what pressure he was under to make this into bland entertainment, but bland it is.

The Hunter
(2011)

Half-hearted outdoors drama with nice scenery but unclear purpose and lack of dramatic tension.
I never really understood what was supposed to be at stake here. I meet a selfish, very independent hunter (Dafoe - very good) whose mission is to find the apparently extinct Tasmanian tiger, because a big company wants it. I don't know why, but I'm interested. He meets some cliché opposition from the local rednecks, and a grizzled old ham (Sam Neill), who looks predictably shifty and may have something to do with the disappearance of the last man who sought the tiger. That man's kids are needy and believable. I like them and care about them and their relationship with the hunter, but their drugged-out mother is a bore and the hunter's possible burgeoning relationship with her is, like the rest of the story so far, half-hearted. The hunter's search for the tiger is interesting, and mildly dramatic. Then I find out exactly why the big company want the tiger, but it doesn't increase what little stakes there are. There are the occasional VISIBLE threats to the hunter and his quest, but they're also half-hearted. There are the occasional moving moments, and the hunter's realisation that he loves the kids, is nice, but not enough. It's still like like a short film with padding, and an hour has gone by. There's a chance for some really tense action during a nasty confrontation in the bush, but that's bungled by incompetent direction. Then there's a tragedy involving the main characters THAT WE DON'T SEE! (this is a film!) and a sentimental wrap-up. And I'm left wondering what it was all actually about. Here is my conclusion: apart from excellent work from the children, and Dafoe, the key players were presumably unable to identify that the script is very undernourished, so they went ahead and made a film with no real spine.

La princesse de Montpensier
(2010)

Patchy historical drama-romance let down by miscasting in central role.
Some of the best things in this lusciously mounted historical ramble are the battle and fight sequences. They are exciting and convincing, as is the picture's milieu. Some of the relationships sporadically command interest,despite the central character consistently failing to provide any spark. The Duke of Anjou is the most watchable; a wonderfully slimy character, whose complicated duplicity and arrogance is highly entertaining. The actress who plays the princess may have superficially attractive qualities, but she has no personality. She's a sponge, who gives almost nothing and inspires only restlessness and tedium. Had she been at least interesting this may well have been an exciting film. After a while this viewer couldn't care less what happened to her. A shame because everything around her is designed to make for a stimulating story. It should be shorter, and it should be re-cast. The real princess was supposed to be a beauty. Mlle Thierry is quite good looking, but I suppose, at the time of going into production there wasn't an available attractive actress who is also vivacious, and/or interesting, and not too expensive. Heigh ho.

Nurse on Wheels
(1963)

Sweet, old fashioned and very low budget episodic comedy; with lots of ham and some charm
Underneath the opening credits of this gentle, old-fashioned (even when it was made) corny comedy, we see Juliet Mills riding her bike through a provincial town. She looks very nervous; probably because she knew there'd only be one take, and that there were no safety measures. The producers of this British relic (I don't mean Ms Mills) were known for their cheese-paring parsimony. It shows in the lighting set-ups and the straightforward, episodic storytelling. That's not to say that Gerald Thomas didn't know how to tell a story. He had plenty of practice. He also knew that the host of tried and true character actors who populate this mild comedy, were prone to hamming outrageously if given the chance; he gave them the chance and they don't disappoint - with the exception of Mr Huntley and Ms Seyler, who are restrained. The handsome (and, film-wise, under-used, for health reasons, I understand) Ronald Lewis stars as the nurse's love interest; and Ms Mills, in her professional English way is a very charming nurse. I thought it very light when I first saw it at the Regal cinema, in Putney, in South London. Even then I was surprised it scraped in as a main feature. I expect it had some pretty strong support - a western perhaps, in colour. Nowadays Nurse on Wheels seems almost amateurish; but if you like those thesps of yore, check it out. They're the main attraction.

Small Time Gangster
(2011)

Lame, cheap, repetitive, derivative Tarantino wannabe.
The cast of leads are giving everything they've got. They have to; there's so little in the script and/or direction. Sometimes there's too much. Cut! Don't drag that story point on so much! Don't hold on Steve Le Marquand's muggy reaction for so long! Get on with it..audiences are not stupid. There's too little actual story, or characterisation. There's too much of the obvious and not enough for us to wonder about. When it's not predictable, it's trying to shock, and isn't succeeding - it's so derivative, and self-conscious; and when you're expecting proper action, punches are pulled, and there's no satisfactory payoff. Good crime action needs great characters, rigorous storytelling, a decent budget and a gutsy, experienced hand at the helm. This looks like it could be a good series, but it's cheap copycat almost good enough; set in the daggy Aussie suburbs, like all those other shows. Geoff Morell is director-proof..he's been around long enough to know where the camera is and what he needs to do; Steve Le Marquand has potential, but is not leading man material, and is poorly directed; Gia Carides is poorly written and directed. This looks like the rehearsal, not the finished product; it's either very lazily or very hastily produced. The real loser here is the audience.

Kill the Irishman
(2011)

Routine biopic on the life of a vicious brute, with no insights, and nothing interesting to say or show.
The charmless lead actor does nothing to lift this by-the-numbers mob movie out of its predictable rut, nor does the script/direction offer anything more than bits out of other similar films. Occasionally Val Kilmer manages to make his character seem like a a real person; otherwise, it's strictly caricature from everybody else. But you can't blame 'em. The writer and the director clearly wanted to make several old films they'd already seen, with all the interesting bits cut out. There's no character development, so we never get to know much about our leading thug, (real-life Philladelphian, Danny Greene) except that, for a while, he regrets some of his more appalling behaviour. Basically though, he wants to be top dog, and there's always someone else who wants that job. There's a little bit of plot development, but basically one power struggle leads to another in a series of punch-ups, detonations, shootings, Mafiosi gesticulations, insults and more explosions. Our hero's wife - after she's scowled for 6 scenes, at her husband brutalising half the neighbourhood, she's packed all the suitcases, put the kids in the car, and is leaving - says: "it's over." Can you imagine the wave of surprise that swept over the audience? One standout in this picture is the hair and makeup, it's bizarre. Stevenson (who reminds me of old Warner Brothers stock actor, Alan Hale) must have the worse hairdo of any leading man after Nicholas Cage.Christopher Walken, plays a Jewish mobster, who neither washes, nor combs his hair, nor has it cut over a timespan of a decade. Vincent D'Onofrio looks like the most unkempt wiseguy in the history of the Cosa Nostra, and..I'd better stop here. Suffice it to say, if you're happy with fisticuffs, explosions, and clichés, enjoy.

The Escapist
(2008)

Gripping thriller, full of tension, dread and nastiness; excellently done.
A thoroughly absorbing, gripping British film starring Brian Cox..not a household name like Ajax or Corn Flakes, but you'll recognise him from The Bourne Identity, Match Point…etc..and Joseph Fiennes; and plenty of the others in this cast, who have done lots of solid duty in countless British and American TV and films.. The Escapist is set in a prison, and is a salutary reminder that perhaps you shouldn't borrow more than is necessary from the Tennis Club Christmas Party fund, or carve up a senior bank executive however much encouragement you may receive, because you might end up in jail and if it's anything like the jail in The Escapist, woe betide ye. Brian Cox plays Frank, an old lag, who's in for life and is desperate to get out so he can see his beloved and estranged daughter, who is very ill. Frank with the aid of various fascinatingly shady pals, hatches a brilliant plan to escape through the sewers and tunnels of London, but will they even get out of the nick? It seems unlikely. There are so many evil characters within the jail conspiring to thwart anything they do, and the tension is properly cranked up. It's quite violent MA 15+. At one point, early on in the film I unpeeled a banana, and I was so gripped that when the DVD finished I was still holding half the banana, poised for a bite. Congratulations to all concerned.

The Ugly Truth
(2009)

So-so sitcom/romcom, miscast and underdeveloped
So-so sitcom starring Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler, set in a completely unbelievable (by me) world of daytime television, in which Katherine Heigl, the hoity-toity politically correct producer of a very low-rating breakfast/midday news & current affairs show is incensed when her superior appoints a politically incorrect hunk (Gerard Butler) to host a special segment called 'The Ugly Truth', in which he tells 'the truth', which she finds ugly, but the audience loves, and which, of course, rates its head off. There are some funny ideas here, which don't quite play out. KH is not believable as Ms Hoity-Toity. In fact this is the sort of romcom that KH usually sends up. Gerard B is okay, he's just not funny. Some people aren't. Successful romcoms, I think, are like souflees; they seem insubstantial, but they're delicious when they're just right – light and fluffy. All that lightness takes a lot of hard work, and skill. This looks like it's been cast in a hurry, and shot in a hurry..and it'll probably be forgotten thus

Folly to Be Wise
(1952)

Competently filmed and performed, but essentially a light stage play which seems very dated now
Alistair Sim is the stand-out in this rather claustrophobic adaptation of a slight stage play. Mr Sim is commendably restrained, more so than in some other Launder & Gilliat comedies, but he has so little to do, and so little happens that nowadays, one wonders why the whole thing was mounted anyway. The relationship between the aspirational secretary and her 'dumb' boyfriend is nicely constructed, and he, Peter Martyn, plays his part very nicely. Otherwise all the focus is on the more upper-middle class characters, who nowadays seem like caricatures. There was a tendency in most British cinema of the 50s to adapt stage plays, but very non-cinematically; this is a typical example. In terms of film study or of entertainment, this doesn't have a lot more than competence to commend it.

Griff the Invisible
(2010)

Muddled whimsical fairy tale, with no discernible story; poorly scripted, directed and photographed.
Muddle-city! It's hard to say exactly what this is about, because a clear story never really kicks in. It seems to sputter into life a couple of times, but mostly it's a collection of caricatures bumbling through a curious assembly of borrowed ideas, styles and themes, few of which stack up. At some points it's possible to imagine that this collection of whimsical clichés might make a good children's film, but the lack of dramatic shape, or of a convincing world for the characters to inhabit, would have children heading for the exit long before I did. Unfortunately, it's one of those films which annoy for its squandering of resources. I've never seen Ryan Kwanten so mis-directed, and wonder why some of the very experienced names attached to the film didn't notice that there was no clear shape at script, dailies or rough-cut stage. Perhaps they did notice, yet they still allowed the writer/director and producer to go ahead and spend millions of dollars in the hope the muddle could be assembled into a coherent whole. I hope a few people enjoy it, and that its authors take heed of the number of people who pay to see it, before they embark on their next work.

How Green Was My Valley
(1941)

Beautifully crafted saga set in a Disneyland version of a Welsh valley.
Not for a moment did I believe in the Disneyland Welsh mining village as presented in this sweet old family saga. But the pictures are beautifully manipulated by one of Hollywood's most expert storytellers. John Ford always seems to place the camera and his characters in ways, which say far more than any dialogue could. In fact, this is the kind of film which may well work better with the sound muted, because the dialogue is old-fashioned and the characters' accents peculiar. (The most prevalent accents were Irish, and a kind of mid- Atlantic rural) I was particularly impressed by Maureen O'Hara's performance in the first half of the film. I don't think I've ever seen her better, or better photographed. If you're looking for a stirring, authentic story of miners' struggles in the days before the unions, this isn't it; but if you want to see some masterly direction photography, montage, and mise en scene, this is well worth the trouble.

Soul Kitchen
(2009)

An enjoyable live-action cartoon; a fast-paced, colourful, over-the-top farce.
Toned down a bit in the sex and drugs area this could probably make a terrific kids film. It's a very obvious, ham-fisted fairy tale, which moves at a cracking pace, and rejoices in cartoon characters, plotting and visuals. That's not to say that kids only like their entertainment ham- fisted, but Soul Kitchen is a very basic romp, in which most of the cast are way over the top, and enjoying themselves enormously - often more than the audience. One of the major problems for me is that Herr Bleibtreu simply isn't funny. And there's too much of him not being funny, and not being - even for an instant - credibly Greek. It's good to see Udo Keir in a minor role, and being commendably restrained (what else could he do - surrounded by all the scenery chewing and eye-popping from his colleagues?) Nevertheless, this is a very well- meant 5 course meal, with lashings of sauce. You may wish that some of the jokes could not have been quite so overcooked, but you'll not leave the cinema bloated.

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