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Star Trek Beyond

Star Dreck
It should be called "Star Dreck". Ugh, it was terrible! The "plot" was an afterthought and took a distant backseat to explosions and chases. Spock looked puffy at best, chubby at worst, and with the bangs looked like a little girl. He was also emoting all over the place, he even laughed without the excuse of being controlled by a parasite or spore. Seriously, so BAD! It opened with Star-Wars level CGI aliens, reminiscent of Jar Jar Binks, and then turned into a Galaxy Quest parody. Need I remind anyone that Galaxy Quest was, itself, a parody? WORST. EPISODE. EVER! I must write fast, I'm blocking it from my memory as I type... Scotty did meet an alien girl whose head looked like an ice cream sundae. Vanilla ice cream, drizzled with hot fudge. I keep telling myself it's too late at night for a bowl of ice cream. All I could think was "How nice of that ice cream sundae to help them save the crew." Maybe next movie (ugh. something to dread!) could have something a little healthier, maybe a cameo by Bob the Tomato? The cut scenes were too fast (and yet, not fast enough!) and the camera work was headache-inducingly jerky. (Yum, ice cream and jerky. It did at least make me hungry!) There were maybe four decent lines of dialogue, all from McCoy, maybe a halfway decent line or two from Scotty, but plot and dialogue clearly weren't any kind of priority. No wonder they sued Axanar, the fan made stuff is much better than the movies, although I did like the first one, and gave it some leeway to develop later on, but the development never happened and each of the two sequels were worse than the one before. No character development, no Kirk flirting with ice cream girl, no rapport between him and Spock, no real, distinct personalities for any of them. Spock was actually MORE emotional than Kirk, or Sulu, or McCoy, other than that, anyone's dialogue could have been switched with anyone else's. As a Trekkie, I am sad. Maybe the next reboot will be better, this one is a lost cause.

Bones: The Yanks in the U.K.: Parts 1 and 2
Episode 1, Season 4

Worst. Episode. EV-ER!
Normally I love this show, but this episode was horrible, there was only one kind of bone the characters were interested in. They discarded good writing in the interest of prurience. At the end of the two part episode I agreed with Clark Edison's assessment of the characters. I think future shows should revolve around him, since he was the only one who acted like he was out of junior high. Let the rest of the cast go off and follow their hormones while we watch Clark solve forensic mysteries. There were a few good moments when Booth was interviewing the British aristocracy, but the little bit of levity couldn't sustain it when the cast acted like the most important issues were who they were lusting after at that particular moment. I watch Desperate Housewives for this kind of stuff, and they write cleverly enough to build a series around it, but the writers here can't handle it and shouldn't be trying, since Bones is supposed to be a forensic crime show with humor and a nice bit of sexual tension between the main characters, not a medley of bed hopping and juvenile games of "who 'likes' who." Wow, I hope the whole season isn't like this. The only people who could possibly empathize with the cast's behavior are too young to be watching it.

The Hidden Room

I loved the episode with Amanda Plummer, I'd give anything to have it on tape or DVD. I've never seen such an intelligent, sensitive story told so well, and the acting was great too. I didn't watch the rest of the series, but I can recommend the episode "A Type of Love Story" without reservation. I wish quality was the criteria for putting things out on DVD, this would have been released long ago.

The Charmings

I would buy this in a minute!
If there were any way to buy the episodes I would, I loved this series when it was first on, and I'd like my daughters, who love to dress up as Snow White, to see this. I don't watch many TV series regularly, Growing Pains, Sightings, X Files, King of the Hill, and Wings are the only other ones I rearranged my schedule for, but I never missed this one.

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