yamaelle

As usual, Pierre Richard stars with a clumsy, naive, unfortunate character. This time, he's a well-known painter, Yann Ducoudray. He has invited a married woman Florence Arnaud (Fanny Cottencon) to 'visit his workroom'. But, a few minutes before the crucial Rendez-Vous, his beautiful next door neighbour Eva (young Emanuelle Beart) accidentally locked herself outside her flat. Of course, she is half-naked, and ask Yann some help. He refuses, because he's expecting Florence to come very soon, but Eva manages to enter. And then, it's a succession of hilarious situations, with the arrivals of Florence, her unexpected husband Andre, Eva's boyfriend Boris (Richard Bohringer), the police, and many more.

All the actors are perfect, Pierre Richard of course, but also all the others; and don't miss Richard Bohringer as the violent/jealous/depressive/alcoholic boyfriend. A revelation! This movie is not very long, but it's a wonderful comedy. And we get to see Emanuelle Beart almost naked. What more could we ask for? This was at first a successful play (as a lot of good french comedies) and the transposition is excellent. If you like Pierre Richard, or french comedies in general, I think it's one of the best you can find. It has this title ( the american title is the right translation), because 95% of the movie happens in front or inside Yann's flat, located on the left when you leave the elevator.

9/10

Usually, I like to be 'troma'tized. From the "Toxic Avengers" to"Rabid Grannies", "Cannibal! The musical"... I really enjoy these movies and their fun atmospheres. And I also enjoy low-budget ones too. But this time, something is wrong.

It's the story of Frankie, a war vet, 'troma'tized -sorry, traumatized- by Saigon and the War. He's jobless, has a very 'troubled' mind and needs to take care of his wife and their abnormal baby (thanks to the chemical weapons daddy recieved). His only 'friends' are junkies and gangs he owes money.

Honestly, this movie is bad. It's unfair to call it THE worst movie, but it's true it's boring, classical (the ending is soooo obvious) and really glaucous. The same glaucousness as in "Henry, portrait of a serial killer" or "Cannibal Man", but this time instead of adding something to the movie and its tone, it doesn't work and you just want it to stop more quickly. The FX are pretty well made (the baby is surprising, as an ET cousin), the few gore is well made and the Vietnam's views could have been worst. But it can't save the whole movie. And the music is the most irritating I've ever heard. I know it's a low-budget, but still. If you want a good one, go for "Deadbeat at Dawn" by the excellent Jim Van Bebber instead.

4/10

Fifteen shorts/sketches by the great director/actor Albert Dupontel ("Bernie", "Le Createur",...). This was many years before his hilarious one-man-shows and excellent movies. And his trash/black humor is here! All the stories are starring Dupontel and Michel Villemoz, and they're all very different. In one of them, Dupontel must take care of a baby and cook a chicken. Of course, he mistakes both, and his neighbour M.Vuillemoz come to complain about strange smells, while Albert is telling stories to the chicken, wrapped in baby clothes. In another, he's running out of women, so he disguise his friend in a woman and try to f*** him (by the way, M. Vuillemoz has here the same disguisement as in "Vibroboy", another trash classic). And as in all of them, it just doesn't work...

Some of them are better than others, but I still highly recommend this to however enjoy Dupontel's work, black humor in general and understand french. (Re)Discover "Bernie" and his others movies, you just can't be disappointed. He's not only a great humorist and a great director, but also a great actor. We need more guys like him in France...

(length 40min)

9/10

The casting alone would make this movie worth 10/10: Johnny Eck (no legs), Randion the living torso (no legs/arms), Josephine Joseph (hermaphrodite), midgets, pinheads, siameses twins, a bearded lady, an armless woman, a skeleton man ...

The plot: In a circus, a woman wants to marry a midget for his money, and kill him, with the aid of her lover. But the other freaks will discover it, and her evil plans will be changed. Yes, this plot appears limited, but the circus was a good argument for Tod Browning to show all the freaks he had gathered. He wanted here to make a more shocking movie than his previous ("Dracula"). He managed, but maybe a little too much, because "Freaks" was a burden for his future in Hollywood.

The other idea behind this movie is that freaks are people like everybody else (at least in their heads) and therefore should be treated as everybody else. In fact, we should try to forget these differences. Obviously true, but everyone knows that. So why make a movie like this (and watch it)? As sad as it sounds, it's because we 'like' to see freaks, to see these people different. J. Eck declared about the movie shot: "It was wonderful, for the first time of my life, I felt normal". The other freaks were not looking at his handicap (what people do ), but at him, the individual. This quote highlights 'our real nature'.

To be honest, the non-freaks actors are really playing badly. In fact, worst than the freaks, whose this was for most of them their only movie of their life(!). The dialogues are sometimes hard to understand, because the sound was badly recorded (remember it was in the early '30s), and it's in black&white, but don't miss it!!! There are truelly scenes you will remember all your life (the wedding banquet, Randion lighting his cigarette with his mouth ...). This movie is as its casting: unique! And I think Tod Browning has found the right tone to treat this unusual subject. My only regret is that "Freaks" is a bit too short (1 hour).

10/10

PS: In the imdb, is mentioned an other version, a recent one, "Freaks uncensored". I've been looking for it, but it doesn't seem to really exist (and there is no user comments!). So if anybody knows...

A porno. Simply a porno, and not a very good one ( the kind of pornos you watch and immediately forget just after - assuming of course you went 'till the end ). Not even a 'sex with horse' scene ( "Emanuelle in America", "Caligula 2" ), or a mutant/zombie killing people with his huge penis ( Porno Holocaust" and its twin "Erotic Night of the Living Dead" ), or just porno ( as usual in D'Amato 's movies ) mixed with gore ( the "Grim Reaper" serial )... His legendary 'magic touch' lacks here. Maybe it was because he was getting too old, but that one is disappointing. Joe was planning a "Grim Reaper 3", but as everyone knows, he died a year ago. It's sad because it would have made a a much worthy end of career.

On the other hand, Selen and the landscapes are beautiful ( Who cares about the landscapes in a porno ? ). And the close-up are better ( no shadows ) than his earlier movies. The quality of the filming is better, but the whole does not deserve more than 4. Remember ( discover ? ) him for the ones I mentioned , and his true masterpiece "Troll 2".

4/10

"Sweet Savage" has all the ingredients of a western : indians, cow-boys, diligences, fights with bandits ... but it's also a good porno. A lot of different and original positions, with various persons involved : man/woman, woman/woman, men/woman ... The 'not below 18' is justified ( many close up ). There is even a screenplay! An indian woman was rapped by cowboys, so indians kidnapped a white girl ( and rape her ). In the meantime, the indian woman fell in love with another cow-boy. Every scene has its 'quota of sex' ( don't worry there is also a happy ending ).

I was expecting something poor, but I was really surprised, mostly because it was released in 1979. It must have been a real 'hard porno', back in the end '70s. This Western/Porno is one of the best of the genre, even if it's the only one - I mean it's a good movie.The runtime of my version is '76 min.

8/10

After having watched "Guinea Pig", two questions come in mind ( besides 'Am I really a psychopath to watch that ?' ) : 'Is it a snuff ?' The answer is no ; although it's the closest thing to a snuff movie I've ever seen. And then : 'Where the hell have they found that girl ?'. Because she gets tortured for '45 min, without any reasons given ( in fact, there is nothing else in this movie !) : Fingernails teared off, beaten with hands, feet, tools, infested by maggots, ... and many more until the final scene ( I'm still not sure how they did that ). Because it belongs to the 'japonese underground scene', it's obvious she didn't get a lot of money. So what were her ( their ) motivations ?

I saw it in japonese without subtitles, but it's not a problem ( no real dialogues, the boys are just insulting her in a few scenes ). I haven't seen yet all the serial, but the first "Guinea Pig" is not known for being the best one. Still I've rated 8, because if the purpose was making people believe this a snuff, the issue is quite good ( ask Charlie Sheen, the actor ). But I think they could have gone further, which they did in the following ones.

Another movie I'm hiding from my parents.

8/10

I haven't seen all Bunuel's filmography yet, but I can say this one is pretty different from others I saw as "Un Chien Andalou", "L'Age d'Or",... They were completely surrealistic, whereas this one is a much more traditional movie - at least in the coherence of time/space/story.

The story : It starts somewhere in South America, during the '50s, in a village near mines of diamonds. An insurrection begins as the military governement set there decide to close the mines. After a few fights and chasings, an old minor ( Charles Vanel ), his deaf daughter, the prostitute he loves, a monk ( Michel Piccoli ) and a bad boy called 'Shark' manage to escape together with a stolen boat. Hunted by soldiers, they decide to cross the jungle in order to reach Brazil, which will reserve them some more surprises. The ending is a bit sad, but on the whole we end up with a good movie of adventures.

At first, I haven't recognized Bunuel's style here but truth is his personal visions of Religion, Society, (...) are also within.

A good movie to watch 'with all the family' filled with action, love, adventures,... but merely different from the early Bunuels ( no Salvador Dali here ).

8/10

Another short by Jim Van Bebber - with others - about drugs ( check "My Sweet Satan" ). This time, it's about a guy who smokes marijuana all nights and days. This movie is filmed as a documentary, with people at his work questioned about him. We get a bunch of funny answers like : "He is our best employee", "I wish everybody were like him", ... while he is as usual stoned at work.

In fact it's really an ironic vindication of marijuana. It's funnier if you've also been one day through those situations( stoned at school, at work, ... or elsewhere ), otherwise it may be boring. Surely not Jim best short, but an interesting one.

6/10

It's Jorg Buttgereit first movie after the serial of shorts "Hot Love". There is necrophilia inside - as everyone knows - , but also a lot of things besides. The effects are quite impressive ( although it's nothing besides "Aftermath" ), but what's excellent is the very unhealthy ambiance Jorg has managed to create. We fallow the life of a guy who works in a morgue service specialized in car crash. He shares with his girlfriend, in his flat ( look for the wonderful decoration ) a passion for Death which will lead them to necrophilia and suicide. A beautiful score, a touch of gore, of animal cruelty, of murders, of blood baths are completing the whole. Some scenes are also very weird ( he dreams playing rugby with guts, ... ).

I must say the filming is not very good ( same low budget as in Andreas Schnass or Olaf Ittenberg movies ), the lights are bad and the subtitles I had were awful. It can be repulsive for some people - more than the themes approched -, but I think it goes well with the glaucous aspect. You may be bored if you attempt to watch it for the gore, or just for the necrophilia (about 5 min in the movie ), but as a fan of weird/horror movies, you'll surely enjoy "Nekromantik". The sequel is different, less unhealthy, but still have some cool scenes ( the ending ).

9/10

So, what goes on in a morgue after hours ? Non stop 'gore'/sex for half an hour, a very oppressing ambiance ( no dialogues ), the excellent work by Nacho Cerda and his team, make this short worth the 10 I gave it. The making-up is wonderful, you're really convinced you're dealing with real corpses, increasing the malaise Nacho Cerda wanted to create. The autopsies are very well done (although the ones in "Men behind the Sun" and "Camino del Eden", another spanish short about working in a morgue, are more impressive), but it's nothing compared with the scenes of necrophilia.

Never has necrophilia been pushed so far, Aftermath" really ranks the "Nekromantiks" among the Walt Disney movies (I nevertheless enjoyed "Nekromantik").

I also have at end of my tape a Nacho Cerda's interview, plus part of the making of (very interesting, and very needed! ). "Aftermath" was originally a 2h30 movie with more autopsies, and more sex scenes where the only 'non-corpse' actor is extracting silver from teeth he had previously removed, ... Without any spoken words, and having most of his face hidden, this man manages a magnificent performance. He confirms in the interview this was the hardest performance he ever had to make. Shot in 8 days, "Aftermath" due to a lack of time/money was reduced to a '30 min short. Maybe that's a bit disappointing, but for the themes approached (morgue, necrophilia, ... ), it's really THE reference.

Definitely the kind of movie I'm hiding from my parents!

10/10

"Tusk" is definitely Jodorowsky's worst. But does that mean it's a 'waste of time'? Under my opinion, no ; although it's true it's his less elaborated movie.

The story happens in India, when the English were still there. The two main characters are an elephant called Tusk and a young lady. Tusk once saved her life when she was younger, and that's why she wants to protect him forever. When she returns from her studies in England, the maharadjah decides to hunt Tusk for his ivory, while some alcoholics poachers are carrying the same goal. A long fight to save Tusk begins...

The many elephants and, as usual in Jodorowsky's movies, the incredible number of crowd artists are astonishing, especially for the hunting. Apparently, he enjoyed working with elephants, because there are also some in "Santa Sangre" (his following movie). Truly, there are some real finds, as the 'barbe a papa' imported from Las Vegas - but on the hole, it's unfortunately not as weird and fascinating as "El Topo", The Holy Mountain" and "Santa Sangre" ( three masterpieces for differents reasons ). The philosophical dimension is here reduced to friendship with an historical background ( the colonisation by the English in India ). You don't have to be a Jodorowsky's fan to enjoy this movie, but you might be disappointed if you are, because it's true "Tusk" is different - and somehow inferior.

The movie is hard to find and it's in french, but it's still a movie by A. Jodorowsky! The runtime of my tape is '115.

7/10

"My Sweet Satan" is the story ( in 20 minutes ) of Ricky's life. Ricky, played by Jim Van Bebber himself, is a satanist who spends his time listening to hard-rock ( mainly Sepultura ), taking drugs (marihuana, acids, LSD, breathing helium... ) and trying to convince his friends that Satan is the Master. I won't tell how, but Ricky end up suicided in a cell.

The movie is interesting, not really for the story, but for all the experiments we happen to see in less than 20 minutes : Ricky's haircut, with all the drugs, long-haired people drinking, killing, sacrificing animals, throwing over... such a nice atmosphere! Through "My Sweet Satan", we see what the word 'underground' means -a lot of ideas, but with a very modest budget. And we also see here that it was the beginning of his career - although the result is quite cool. Highly recommanded for the jilted generation, at least interesting for everybody, but I keep thinking "Roadkill"(1994) and "Deadbeat at Dawn" are better.

7/10

"Vibroboy" is half an hour of real pleasure : It starts with 3 people quarrelling, Leon, his wife Brigitte and a friend Francesca who's coming back from South America with a gift - an aztec statue - to Brigitte. Unfortunately, Leon is not able to control himself, and therefore gets angry. The beginning is an oppressing movie, and then something happen - I won't tell what, but the statue is somehow magic - and as in "Dusk Till Dawn" the whole story suddenly degenerates into something completely different, starring Vibroboy and his phallic driller.

It contains everything to become a cult movie. In just 28 minutes, there is a real evolution of an original plot, the perfect acting, the fun score ( the french song "Parlez-moi d'Amour" ), some real good special effects - especially for a short... in fact every single thing is within and well done. Just don't expect something gore, it's rather a trash movie.

"Vibroboy" is the last short Jan Kounen made before his first (long) movie "Dobbermann"(1997), in which you also find the particular style he has been developing for the last 10 years. He has made a lot of short movies since 1987, all not in imdb, but all worth watching. If you liked Kounen's work in this one, look mostly for "Captain X"(1993) and "Dobbermann". His next movie will be an adaptation of the serial of comics "Blueberry". I hope it'll be as successful as the rest of his career. Remember his name, you will surely heard of him again in a few years : He's really a genius.

10/10 and I mean it

"Cuisine et dépendances" used to be a play in the early '90s, and was turned into a movie a few years later. In fact, it's the first movie the excellent duo Bacri/Jaoui (" On connait la chanson", "Un air de famille",... and the upcomming "Le gout des autres" ) collaborated to. It's a dinner of 'retrouvailles' between used-to-be-friends, who haven't seen each other for 10 years.

There is the couple welcoming the dinner (Sam Kermann + Zabou )with a friend (Jean-Pierre Bacri ), who has begged - 2 months ago - for a 2 weeks hospitality. As usual, his character is depressive, bad-tempered, jealous and in bad mood. The wife's brother (Jean-Pierre Daroussin), who spends his time losing money in poker, came with 'his new girlfriend Marilyn he met 4 days ago in a disco' to borrow money from her sister. There finally are the real guests: a journalist (Agnes Jaoui) and her husband, a very popular TV star.

The real success of this movie is that we don't see the dinner itself, but people succeeding in the kitchen during all the evening, chatting, revealing us how the dinner is happening, but getting more and more excited. In fact, the movie is so well done that no actors are playing the Marilyn and the TV star characters, without any confusion in the coherence of the story (they're not supposed to be in the kitchen). As in "Un air de famille", the soiree degenerates into a battlefield with people quarelling all around, evacuating their old rancors.

The confrontation between people who have been very close, and then separated for 10 years, having evoluted in differently is well described - and so fun! I don't understand why the average note is around 5 (I gave a strong 8), because it's a real good movie you can enjoy a lot of times ( story, excellent acting, fun score... ). Unfortunately, it's a french movie, meaning that you have to understand well french to really take advantage of the dialogues. Anyway, if you liked that one, look for "Un air de famille", "Kennedy et moi"... in fact every movie of Bacri/Jaoui.

At first glance, this movie has got everything a psycho wants: a vampire story with a "not under 18" restriction, filled with hyper-violence, drugs, gore, sex (including lesbian sex), some fanatics zealots and even a gay necrophiliac cop! But then, this movie is a succession of bad story (so thin), bad acting -with a ridiculous english accent making you believe you're watching a bad Monty Python -, bad music ('80s hard rock), the videotaping is awful, the ending is a real shame... Plus the scenes of sex are ridiculous, the gore not very impressive. And those vampires reflect in a mirror, and don't even fear daylight! You get to be very disappointed, unless you see it as a "Space Mutiny" or "Troll 2". I hope Bloodlust will one day reach the bottom 100, because that's its real place.

I'd say it can still be fun to watch, if you have friends and enough beer.

3/10

I'm sorry to write this, because I like pretty much John Woo 's work, but Blackjack really sucks. First, you get bored all the time, because the plot is inexistant, could be resumed as : How soon is DOLPH that great actor gonna get the woman ( and score).The scenes of Actions with the few badguys playing in it (maybe the others were watching for their reputations !) are ridiculous, especially for a movie directed by John Woo. It's so bad I had to fast-forward to the end, witch really make this film deserving the 1/10 I gave it, and for a bad movie it's not even funny. It's my duty to prevent you : avoid like plague that piece of crap made for TV. If you want some great John Woo work, try " a bullet in the head "or "hard boiled" or "Syndicats du crimes 1&2" or whatever but avoid that one. By the way, be preapared for the up-comming "Blackjack 2", it might be even worst !