boyzonee

Lackluster story following a young rape victim in Canada and the perpetrator on the lam around Europe for almost 10 years. Slow, dull and unconvincing. There's definitely something wrong when the victim appears as more sinister and menacing than the milquetoast rapist. It was shocking to find out afterwards that this bumbling farrago was made by the same man that gave us "First Blood".

Possibly this is one of the worst TV series of the 90'es. At least it is the worst I've seen on Danish and German channels in recent years, and I have seen quite a few. The title sequence is OK, but everything before and after is essentially amateur hour on a medium budget.

`V.I.P' is a mixture of phoney semi-violent action and silliness with repetitive paper-thin, nonsensical storylines and seems to be played mainly by models and musclemen, sometimes with a mediocre car chase thrown in. As if it wasn't bad enough, the episodes generally run out of steam (so little there is) about midway, too.

One of the girls in the bodyguard firm V.I.P. is Pamela Anderson who after all was a major asset in `Baywatch', but here she appears completely bubble-headed. (Did Tommy Lee really hit her SO hard or has she just no dignity?) Actually the series is so full of ludicrous cardboard characters that it is almost impossible to tell one episode from another. Although the girls are babing it up, it doesn't really help plotwise, and the bad guys appear as dim-witted (often pony-tailed/CLICHÉ) beefcakes straight out of the gym. The acting abilities in general come close to a wooden Indian's.

And by the way. Would anyone potentially in peril ever dream of hiring female bodyguards who perform their assignments in tight evening dresses or skirts AND high heels? None of which is suitable for a high-speed foot pursuit or just for moving swiftly. Wherever they go, the V.I.P. girls don't exactly blend in, too, so the clients might as well blow their own brains out right away.

Don't look for class in this sorry mess. The only one, you would perhaps come across, would be a school class passing by in the background.

Based on fact this is the story of conscience-ridden German army colonel Ebershagen during the latter half of WW2. Originally a 3-part mini-series made for East German television, it runs for nearly 4 hours.

Episode 1 finds him in Stalingrad at the end of 1942 when the Red Army is beginning to encircle the German 6th Army. While his men are freezing to death around him or sometimes killed in combat, the colonel himself is wounded and is evacuated on one of the last planes out before the trap snapped.

In episode 2 he is appointed Kommandant of his hometown Greifswald 150 kilometres north of Berlin after a long convalescence. It's early 1945 and the Red Army is advancing rapidly through Poland and the German provinces east of the river Oder. Ebershagen doesn't intend to sacrifice his town and fight to the last man. Having realized years ago that the war is lost anyway, he wants instead to surrender and declare Greifswald an open town after the Russians have crossed the Oder in April 1945. In order to succeed he has to keep about a dozen balls in play at a time, such as Army brass, SS and Gestapo, Hitler Youth, party officials and concerned town leaders plus the 6000 Russian P.O.W.s in the nearby camp.

After the surrender of Greifswald at the beginning of episode 3 Ebershagen follows his regiment into captivity in Russia. First he is placed in an officers's camp outside Moscow where he soon draws the disdain and harassment of his fellow prisoners who regard him as a traitor to the Fatherland while they spend their time re-playing their lost battles on the barrack room table each and every day. On the other hand the colonel is reluctant to join the renegades who are willing to work for the Russians or the newly established Communist Party in East Germany. After a year he joins a work brigade of privates who are toiling in the woods. In 1948 he returns to Germany and his wife.

Considering the fact that this film was made under Communist rule in 1961 when the Berlin Wall was erected, it gives a mostly well-balanced and nuanced account of the period in which it is taking place and of the men and a few good women making history. Don't expect too much action and too many explosions around the actors. Most of the combat scenes are stock footage in b/w like the whole film, but yet every image is stark and compelling (if not spell-binding). No minute should be missed. Themes about duty and conscience, obedience and guilt, honour and treason are masterly played through with State Actor Erwin Geschonneck as the quiet-spoken and yet towering centre of the film. Think of John Wayne, Gary Cooper and Robert Mitchum combined and speaking German, and you will have an idea of what he is like. All the other excellent actors are simply too numerous to be mentioned. This film isn't easy to come by, so unless you catch it on some German channel sometime, you'll miss out on a great film.

This very 27th December is by the way Erwin Geschonneck's 95th birthday and if you wonder how he managed to look so dogged and troubled for this long film, you try and read his biography.

or would "Close Encounters of the Second Kind" in the "Field of Dreams" between the "Children of the Corn" and "The Monolith Monsters" be a more appropriate title? I watched this one on a German TV channel last night without hoping for much even with Corbin Bernsen in it, but "Riddler's Moon" turned out to be a nice little sci-fi fantasy with believable and sympathetic characters in rural surroundings and one not so sympathetic one. It used familiar elements from several older films, mixed them a little differently and the result was this little winner.

Whatever happened to all the charm from the musicals of the 50'es and 60'es? I don't know, but at least you shouldn't expect to find any of it in this overblown turkey. I can tell you that. The general enthusiasm among commentators about this film I will never understand. Were they all stoned when they watched it?

Baz Luhrman's latest work must be one of the worst films of 2001. An embarrassing mixture of musical and comedy, and yet almost devoid of continuous singing or dancing performances. Besides it is surprisingly witless (read: unfunny), too. Don't let the title mislead you to hope for plenty of Toulouse-Lautrec or can-can dancing because both are bitterly rationed here. Much of the songs and the dialogue consists of small bits of pop or rock songs stolen from Elton John, The Beatles, T. Rex, Queen, Madonna and others, so there are no `Edelweiss' or `Chim-Chim-Cheree' to be found here. The acting is reduced to incessant posturing and grimacing by everybody involved including a marzipan-skinned Nicole Kidman who here looks paler than a George Romero zombie. One of those movies where you root for the hero and heroine to die long before 90 minutes have elapsed. Actually 127 minutes were sufficient indeed, and I would like to thank Mr. Luhrman for not stretching it further.

If you haven't already, you should watch the infamous `Lady Marmalade' music clip with poodle-haired Christina Aguilera and the other girlies instead. It will give you a good impression of the style and content of the present film, and in case you dislike it, it will be over in 5 minutes. If you choose to watch `Moulin Rouge!', don't forget your seasick pills. The dizzying camerawork and flashy editing will make you need them very soon.

Another how-low-can-you-go Eddie Murphy vehicle, abundant as usual in both vocal and visual jokes related to sex, defecation and smuttiness in general. Definitely a no-see for sophisticated aesthetes of any kind although Janet Jackson herself was placed on top of the dunghill. But it works on its own terms. It IS funny and moves rapidly, too.

OK family entertainment if you have the guts to explain your kids what is going on when a full-grown man is being sodomized by a giant mutant hamster.

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep."

Some of you may know these Robert Frost lines from the Charles Bronson vehicle "Telefon" where a renegade Soviet intelligence officer (Donald Pleasence) used them for re-activating KGB sleepers in the USA.

In this Czekoslovakian movie the woods are dark and deep indeed, but there's definitely no time to sleep for the two young guys here, on the run from a Nazi concentration camp. The two escapees are being hounded by a band of old (and armed) German villagers, intent on killing them at any cost.

Jan Nemec's film isn't exactly easy to come by, so maybe that's why no one else has a comment on it. I myself haven't had an opportunity to watch it for more than 30 years. It seemed longer then, but actually runs only 63 minutes.

Based on a true story by Arnost Lustig who spent 3 years in Nazi camps and escaped on the way to Dachau. Remarkable b/w cinematography by Jaroslav Kucera and Miroslav Ondrícek that will linger on for a long time. Shouldn't be missed for that reason alone.

What a great relief once again to see a sci-fi-movie clearly aiming at an audience over 18. No silly sub-Lucas fantasizing and dialogue, no laser beams and no exploding spaceships for a change. Great! This one actually has a story about everyday life and work in space. Maybe it isn't realistic (I'm not an astronaut), but at least it is plausible. The alien lifeform at the end is comfortably toned down and this part is preceded by some quite exciting and thought-provoking mindgames among the crew.

And beautiful Connie Nielsen is in it, too. She was born in a small village at the other end of the Jutland peninsula here in Denmark and has made it well in Hollywood as many of you probably know. I must disappoint her foreign fans though. There a NO lost Danish films or TV shows with her to be had. Her first part ever was in an Italian movie in 1992 and even I hadn't heard a word about her before "The Devil's Advocate".

Some people have complained that "Mission to Mars" is DULL. Well, maybe life in space really IS dull when you haven't got George Lucas around to stage it and liven it up. The Soviet cosmonaut, who was left in space when the Soviet Union collapsed and had to spend 10 months up there till they could retrieve him, wasn't exactly a fun guy, you could learn from the TV programme that was made about him. I had expected exciting storytelling, but found a lethally boring man instead.

Franklin J. Schaffner's 1968 version of Pierre Boulle's novel was the first film I saw when I started my moviegoing career at 13, so rather inevitably it would take a lot for this new one to surpass my wonderful experience from then.

Except for Tim Burton's film to be pacier and noisier, one of the important differences is the fact that the apes here are apier (e. g. swinging in the trees and so on), and the ape masks and costumes have become more flexible which altogether should add up to some improvement.

On the other hand the incessant onslaught of computer-generated special effects unfortunately dwarfs the actors much of the time (especially Mark Wahlberg), and further the philosophical aspects and debating are toned down compared to the old version.

All in all this was somewhat of a disappointment. Certainly not because Tim Burton has made an un-professional or amateurish movie, but because I cherish Schaffner's film more for sentimental reasons and not least for having a more adventurous feel and a narrative flow (and drive) that is missing here.

A circumstance I hardly understand myself as Tim Burton's film is choke-full of great images, noise, action and commotion in general.

Today European cinema has got quite a few action-oriented directors who can give their American colleagues a run for their money. One of the best is Spain's Alex de la Iglesia who for this effort grabbed a character from David Lynch's and Barry Gifford's "Wild at Heart" and made this outrageous and violent road-movie out of it, starring Rosie Perez in probably her wildest (and best) part ever. Almost every single scene and shot is an eyeopener and furthermore there's a rare opportunity to see late 60'es bad guy Don Stroud again, while James Gandolfini seems to be preparing his sleazeball character of Tony Soprano. "Perdita Durango" is stunningly photographed by Flavio Martínez Labiano and Simon Boswell provided it with a pumping Jerry Goldsmith-esque score. This film was banned in Ireland which should be a recommendation in itself.

This great film never showed up in my town, so actually I didn't have any opportunity to watch it until the late 80'es when I caught it on German television. I was expecting something of a disaster, and found instead a well-acted grand western with superb location work. The tiny tube couldn't really damage it and there's almost not a dull moment in this 4-hour film, so I hope to see it once again on the big screen. What a spectacle that would be! Don't miss it, if you ever have the chance. Unfortunately the harsh treatment of "Heaven's Gate" at its opening ruined Michael Cimino's career and he moved from the passable ("Year of the Dragon") to the boringly ludicrous ("The Sicilian") and the screechingly dumb ("Desperate Hours").