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The Cabin in the Woods

Usual crock of reviews with most votes either 1, 9 or 10/10 when to anyone sensible it is none of those and to call it either a faultless classic or worst film of all time is daft.

Nor is it a film that you will "either love or hate" - I was neither way, it is ok, but definitely worth watching. I have seen a few of these types of films recently, including two Escape Rooms and it is better than anyone of those.

What was good and slightly unusual for these films is that generally the characters were not too annoying and you could root for them rather than the opposite.

As a spoiler those that made it to the end are the ones which you expected from the start, but there are a few other twists along the way, moments that you are not expecting and it never drags.

I am not sure where any laughing and funny scenes, with one possible exception in the lift, but not being funny did not hinder it at all.

The only faults I could find were that the scenes with the Japanese children needed explaining as to who was who and the force field around the area was given away early. It is quite Americanised in parts of the language but easy enough to follow.

All in all, worth a watch if you are fans of the genre and want better films than most of the slasher ones around.

A low 6/10.

Under the Skin

A film rather symptomatic of the times. Whilst it was inevitable almost all ratings would be either 1,2,9 or 10, it is surprising that there are so many higher scores.

Even allowing for it being a time when people can revel in spending three months sat in a house, watching people sat in a house, the fact that it can stimulate enough people to give it 9/10 is staggering. I made it through to end easily enough, but is hard work.

There are 15 minute stretches with little or any dialogue and the scenes are often standalone and a confusing mess put together in an incoherent way. You can't help get the feeling that there are parts of scenes put in, on the spur of the moment, without any thought behind them. The scene with the disfigured guy went nowhere, as did each of the motor cyclists. Take them out of the film and it is not any different.

It is odd to see those praising the film, claiming that you need to watch it in a way that you do not watch anything else and to not look for a plot, or answers, or coherence. Why? They are pretty crucial factors to challenge the intellect of a viewer rather than exploding cars and pointless fighting. Unfortunately Under The Skin achieves the difficult by being even more drab than those.

Escape Room

It started ok and with potential, if you disregard the completely pointless opening 20 minute drive, drunk man, restaurant scene and unnecessary friend that was not even in the Escape room.

From the moment the deaths came, it seemed to be made up as it went along, with completely bizarre turns. The first couple who I was glad to see go, oddly wanted the door closed to solve their puzzle, another girl had her hand cut off, but nothing more came of that, presumably she died.

The clues to answer, if you can call them those, are so tenuous and offer nothing for the viewer to play along with. The cast seem to take turns in working out a puzzle which must have been created whilst drink or watching 321.

Then the end, for reasons unknown the girl is naked in the cage but nobody else is, it was a 50/50 shot that her or the guy would walk out but ended that it had to be her. As for who was doing it, why, where, what relevance those at the start had, unfortunately you have to do the scriptwriters job and answer it yourself.


Intriguing how many of the reviews here is 'dark comedy' or 'black comedy' when no matter what type of comedy you term it, there was not one scene even close to amusing.

It was not a bad film but slow and giving more questions than answers. There did not seem to be any police involvement in the story at all until one scene near the end. Surely they could have tracked her down after the first couple of killings.

The acting was good, but it would have been worthwhile to see a little more of the climbing incident which was the basis for the film as there were victims involved in it and others not.

The Belko Experiment

Quite Good
Reasonably good film and difficult to criticise it too much for unrealistic behaviour as I don't think that anybody knows how it would occur in their office.

The ending was good.

Christmas with the Kranks

Horrible, Horrible film.
This film was dreadful in a way that I have never known another film to be. Usually it will be for the plot, the acting, the production etc. Generally they were all ok, but the message and the direction which the film took was appalling.

The first half of the film was fine, a bit OTT about avoiding carol singers but mainly fine with amusing scenes.

It then took a ridiculous and abhorrent turn from the moment of the daughter's phone call. I was really hoping that they would get to go on the holiday, but thanks to a horrible crop of bullying neighbours, a disgusting commercialised overtone and a spoilt brat of a daughter, it took the worse possible turn, became so unrealistic and became one of the worst Christmas messages that a show can give.

Whatever the opposite of a 'Feelgood film' is, here it is. It will leave you thoroughly depressed that the good guy misses out, albeit that one part has a good outcome.

Nativity 2: Danger in the Manger!

It is better than suggested on here. There is a lot of crap on the Hallmark and Christmas channels that average 5 or 6/10 and this a lot better than those.

It is not great by any stretch but the production and acting is much better and although it took too long to get to the ending, there are more than enough laughs to make it worthwhile.

Christmas All Over Again

The fourth of these Groundhog Day Christmas based films that I have seen and by a little way the worst.

It was different to the others in that days were not exactly the same but the premise was and unlike the others, as each day began with the music playing the sighing and gradual boredom increased.

Right from the first thirty seconds of the first repeated day it took an unusual course and there was just too much in the film that was unnecessary, characters that served little purpose, the camera work and insertions of music were more irritating and there was not really any character that you were that interested in.

We made it to the end though to see what happened and there was nothing majorly awful about the film.

Chasing Christmas

A peculiar film which had a decent premise and an interesting variation on a Christmas Carol but the acting primarily by the two main male characters was appalling and the Christmas Past character was absolutely unbearable. He seemed to run at walking pace yet put miles between those chasing him.

My Brother the Time Traveler

There are two different reviews that you could write for the film. One up until then minutes from the end, which would not be very good and one of whole film which is better.

The problems with it, is that it is so slow in parts and struggles with really only three characters in the entire 90 minutes, bar three others for a minute each.

The tone is all over the place as it seems to want to be a comedy at times, but lacks a single funny moment in the entire film, it can deal with very serious issues in between those and there is a part sci-fi element to sit, which is not explored anywhere near enough.

The ending actually feels very rushed, as a few parts come together brilliantly, but with little time to absorb them and having gone through a lot of tedium to get there.


Alright I Suppose
For a comic book or Superhero file, neither of which I can usually bear, it was surprisingly ok. It kept the nonsense to a minimum and had a good amount of day to day life in the story which kept it appealing.

It was that good, I would happily watch the sequel, which I have never felt about one of these films before.


12 Days of Giving

Surprisingly OK
Not good not bad but pleasantly better than you would think from the description. The lead guy who looks and speaks like Alistair Cook is very good in the role, very likeable and is given a decent script. The lead females each have a few irritating traits and the young boy, daft name aside is good too

Santa's Summer House

I watch a lot of these daytime Christmas films and surprisingly find most of them ok around the 6/10 standard but this one was woeful.

The plot was not actually the worst, but acting was atrocious, the married couple worst of all, along with Mrs Claus. The wife of the arguing couple seemed to have no interest at all in even being in the film or acting.

They were not given much by lines to work with and that added to one endless game of croquet, with no dialogue, no idea how the the game worked and awful editing where one of the phases of play was shown twice and images of Christmas items between scenes made it a arduous watch.

The guy who played Santa tried his best and the young boy and girl were fine but could not improve it.

My Dad Is Scrooge

Not Good
It was ok, the last ten minutes are very good and bring stories together well but unfortunately the young girl does not make the film the easiest watch, with a voice which distracts from the story.


Decent enough film, which is not afraid to kill off a few of the characters, is acted well enough and has reasonable effects for a film of the type that it is.

It had just the one flaw, but it was a huge one and stopped ot from being a 7 or 8/10.

Nothing was answered. There was no answer as to who created the snow globe, why it was given away and it would have more sense if it had replicated what happened when it was shook, as the description suggests. They should at the least have given any sort of answer.


Not Good
The first 45 minutes or so, are a terrific opening with a few amazing climbing segments and well worth watching.

The film then manages to decline considerably, the moment that a villain is suggested and then introduced. It is to the effect that the film would have had a higher rating from myself, had they simply not included the killer in the film at all and had the plot based around the tension generated from the accidents, even be it, ones tampered with or set up rather than another pointless baddie who moves around an area at the speed of sound.

Wonder Woman

One of the more enjoyable films of the genre, if only for the opening scenes and the WW1 angle, which was enjoyable if you ignore the fast pace and the endless plot holes and inaccuracies.

It is all largely enjoyable until the last 45 minutes or so, around the airfield which is absolutely tedious, ruins much of the story before it and is better watched in fast forward.

If they skipped the love interest, the MP twist and the fight scenes of the last hour, it would have improved it considerably.


It's Just Not Funny
It is a difficult achievement to make a spoof comedy and not generate one single laugh or barely a smile but Spaceballs manages it.

To think, Airplane still holds up today and even after 10 views, you still find hilarious gags for the first time. The sequel, Naked Gun, the Monty Python films, even Blazing Saddles all still work and are funny for adults or children watching them for the first time.

There is absolutely nothing in Spaceballs. Even ignoring the complete lack of humour, the plot is tedious and makes no sense, the characters are dull, the acting dreadful and there is next to nothing to be gained from watching it.

It may have dated, which good comedies do not, but it was not even funny first time around.

The Happening

The review would usually reflect a 1/10 film. I only give it more as it was an interesting premise, started off ok and kept me fully intrigued and guessing throughout.

But that was alway in the knowledge, that it was horrendous as film and as a story. The actors looked completely bored and uninspired throughout and as if they did not really have a clue what was happening either. It has also dated so quickly as a film amd.could pass as a film from the 1980's, although it looked like they attempted a Hitchcock style.

It made little if any sense. A few of the people in the opening scenes, did not seem to be affected by the virus, when all rounds them were, but that never went anywhere. The attacks all seemed to stop in a perfectly straight line down the entire U.S but nobody was able to get through the line. I never really understood the exact number of people that need to be in the group to make it safe or unsafe and how group of people are all affected and another group in the same field, were not.

Crash: The Mystery of Flight 1501

It was alright.
Pretty standard TV film, with a few good points and the crash scenes were well done. It does not always take the predictable route and a few moments are a surprise, which can be good and bad.

There are too many characters in it, too many cliched American groups of men, impeding others' work and it is hard to follow who ia trying to achieve what at times.

The role of the Senator and the bomb threat seemed to be the main plot then disappeared to nothing, as did the characters. I was never really sure how or why one person survived it. It gradually deteriorated as a film all the way through to the end.

The Maze Runner

Lots of Running
The film is full of running, lots of it and the characters barely break sweat at times.

It never really felt like a film, more a TV show, where you watch the first two of eight hours. It would have been better making it apparent from the start, that there would be no real ending and it would lead to a further part.

It was ok, a few good scenes, I stuck.with it, but it is a bit of a mess and full of cliches and inconsistencies. Too many of the residents seemed oddly content and at ease with being there, the female character served little purpose and how one of the characters who chose to stay in the camp, then miraculously ended up outside made no sense.


Paddington 2

Really Good Again
Another terrific film. This is about as good as you can get for a family film. It was not quite as good as the first one and you need to suspend disbelief a little too much but it is still brilliant entertainment.

Brewster's Millions

Not as good as I remember
An enjoyable enough film, which Richard Prior does as well as anybody could with. But it is nowhere near as good as it felt as a child or that it could have been.

The plot and the rules of the challenge are an absolute mess and endless list of inconsistencies. He was told that he was not allowed to buy somebody a diamond ring say, or have assets but then spent most of the film buying gifts and items which could be constituted as an asset.

The more that the film went on, the more daft that the premise became. When he was dishing out salaries he could have made each one bigger to spend more money.

The Greatest Showman

A pretty good film, suitable for anyone, any age. The fact that I like it and this is not a genre of film that I usually would, was a pleasant surprise.

The signing, acting, characters, plot are all fine, no gripes with them.

The morality is never completely clear as to what way you should be feeling, or who you should be siding with, which is a good thing, as there isn't necessarily a right or wrong and it lets the viewer decide.

This could have been better though, one or two of songs towards the end, became a little bit of a chore to get through and dragged out a plot which was developing well at the time. They seemed to be included as they had gone ten minutes without one, rather than it adding to the film.

The character time could have been distributed better. The Zac Efron relationship was not given anywhere near enough time.

All in all though, well worth a watch. You won't find much better at the cinema.

Despicable Me 3

Absolutely Dreadful
There are a few decent user reviews on here, on the first page with the lower ratings for the film.

All that I would add was that it was a terrible film. There was not one single scene in the entire film, where I was even close to a laugh.

I watched it, in the monthly film night with over 120, five-ten year olds and over 200 including everyone. I did not hear a single laugh from anybody in the entire film and have never seen so many children up and walking around, completely bored by it.

There is not a single quality, I could say that it offers. The plot goes nowhere and jumps.around, the Minions add nothing. The villain comes and goes with no real reason and has no character development, nor really does the brother who seems a pointless add on.

You will not miss anything by skipping this.

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