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A watered down Game of throne
Kind of like Game of throne without the nudity and the bad language.Part of it is boring and part of it is interesting but this is a very forgettable movie and deserved to be a box office failure. The ending is very unsatisfying and slightly insane and goes into Game of throne territory with two bloody murders that should have putted the film into an R rated one instead of PG 13.


The world celebrates a movie about a crazy murderer
So first came the joker movie which was inspired by the comic with additives from King of comedy and Taxi driver.Then came the incredible box office.(If this movie deserves to make over a billion,Underwater and Charlie's Angels deserve to make 2 billion each.)But the celebration does not stop there.Hollywood loved it so much that they are giving it 11 nominations.Did they forget to give Natural born killers or The strangers, other movies that glorifies violence 11 nominations also?Because the Joker is in the same lane.You want to kill people?Just do it!You will be celebrated like a hero!Warner Brothers and everybody involved should be ashame of this piece of work.Gratious violent films should not be made and should not be rewarded.

Charlie's Angels

Much better than i expected
Sure the previous ones had Diaz and Barrymore and a bigger budget so i don't think you can surpass the first two films but even at about half the previous budget there is plenty of action and beautiful foreign countries to see.For those who like sexy there is also plenty of it.

Don't trust the low ratings.While far from perfect this is a very entertaining movie.

Dark Phoenix

Close to being pretty good but makes a few mistakes along the way
First of all i would say that while i saw all X men movies at the cinema i only became a really big fan with X men first class.That film had a great storyline and great special effects.The follwing movies introduced Quicksilver which had two amazing scenes in the two previous movies.

But instead of continuing that path the filmmakers decided to cut short his scene,wounded him and putted him out of the movie.

A really foolish decision in my view.

When something works you should keep using it not disregard it.

It was clear that they didn't want him to be around for a very long time in this film.

They had a big budget,they could have made that great special effects scene like in the others but no.

Which makes me wonder where that 200 million dollar went because this does not look like a 200 million movie.

Then there is director Simon Kinberg who seems to be wanting to do a horror film but seems to be limited by the film's rating. (The car accident,the death of Raven,the helicopter blades,the pointed steal getting close to Jean's eye).

(In case you are wondering where i stand on that i still think that X men movies should stay Pg 13.No matter how much Logan had critics praising it as an Oscar deserving masterpiece that movie is still an atrocity and garbage.)

There is a stupid dialogue where Xavier talks to a young Jean where he says that if she makes someone blind with the pencil it will still be a pencil.

There is still some decent special effects here(hardly any time lapse slow motion with Quicksilver but something close to it at the end when Jean turns people into rock and the flying guns in the train that was great) and i am glad that Magneto did change his mind faster this time(before killing alot of innocent people) around with the i'm good ,now i'm bad now i'm good again.

I am also glad that Logan isn't mentioned at all and does not make a cameo.His cameo in Apocalypse was useless and a complete mess.

This is really not as bad as most people would lead you to believe but it surely did a few mistakes along the way.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Simply not as good as the reviews here make it up to be
Reading the reviews here lead me to believe that this was going to be a really great special effects film.After all it is estimated at close to 200 million so i was thinking that the special effects would be amazing but it turns out there were just decent.Yes it is certainly less boring than Godzilla(2014) but still inferior to Kong Skull island. Kyle Chandler is really annoying playing almost like a madman on depression.Motivations for the character's actions are often confusing.The game of throne episode were a dragon detroys a city which was made for maybe a 10th of the budget they had here was 4 times more impressive and i could name 5 other movies involving large scale destruction in a city that largely surpasses anything in this film.So in terms of excitement they missed the boat in many ways.I really was expecting alot more but the movie simply did not deliver.


Kind of like if Disney had bought the rights
And made a Transformer film.Kind of like if somebody said Let's make a Transformer movie but at a lower cost which of course means less special effects and less action. Overhyped and totally not the masterpiece everybody seems to be talking about.Very forgettable.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Better than expected
I must say that i had very high expectations for the first JW which left me so disappointed (probably the worst blockbuster of 2015)that i went in this one with very low expectations but it turned out better than expected.

The first JW had pacing troubles and was mostly boring and this one avoids this most of the time.

It's hard to reinvent the wheel so it's doubtful they will ever make a JW movie that will stun the world as much as JP did in 1993 but even if JW was closest in terms of a remake to the original,in a way this one is closer in spirit to JP.

I enjoyed seeing it on the big screen but i doubt this will be a movie i'll see again at the theater.

Death Wish

Eli Roth & Bruce Willis poop on Bronson Classic
When i heard that Bruce Willis was being cast in this,i thought it was a good choice but when i learned that Eli Roth was chosen as director,that raised a red flag.Still Eli didn't go out of his way to make Knock Knock a gory movie so i thought that maybe he was on a path to change his ways.

If not,perhaps some of the people involved with the Death wish remake would lead him in the right direction.

But no.Eli had a desire to return to his Hostel days by making Paul(Bruce's character) a sadistic killer as if one of the character from Hostel had been reformed and letted out of a prison.

Eli wanted to turn the Death wish remake into a mix of Law abiding citizen and Hostile and the powers to be letted him do it which is a trahison of the spirit of the original 1974 film.

Gun Shy

Another lemon on the self of your favorite DVD location club
So what will attract most people in renting this is the presence of Antonio Banderas and Olga kurylenko.Others will notice the director named Simon West who directed some major action hits in the pass.

The images on the DVD holder makes this look like an action movie but it really isn't.Banderas is an idiotic rock star and Olga is his girlfriend who gets kidnapped.

It's really an awful unfunny comedy.Can't understand why famous actors get involved in something like this.

Nudity:Very,very short scene with a small breasted woman dancing. Blink and you'll miss it. None from Olga.

Justice League

I enjoyed it but there's still a lot of things that could have been done better
First of all this is so much better than Suicide Squad so it surely had deserved to cross the $100 million in it's first weekend.

Suicide Squad is one of the poorest DC comics adaptations and yet it made a killing at the Box Office.

As a Superhero fan,you always wish every and each Superhero movie to be the best it can be but once again DC Warner Brothers didn't totally hit the right mark as Marvel usually can.

With a speed hero as the Flash,you might have expected something more amazing than what you usually see on The Flash series.

Not so.Nothing close to what Quicksilver does in the X-Men movies either at all.

A reported $300 million budget and that's all they can come up in terms of special effects concerning The Flash?

They surely didn't set the bar high here.

The Batman fight scenes were much better in Batman v Superman.

Here there seems not to be enough daylight fights in the city.

Man of steel did it better.

Wonder Woman's bank scene is good.Seems like it helps that this is happening in the actual world.

Aquaman was more interesting than i would have thought. The underwater scene was one of the best part of the film.

Looking forward to his own movie.

They upped a little bit the funny factor which is a good decision.

So in conclusion,it's really a mixed bag.

Manhattan Undying

Don't waste your time on this one
So the idea of this movie might seem good at first. You are a vampire and you want a painter to paint your picture. Why?Well probably because you can't see yourself in the mirror but this is a really thin idea and very under developed. You got people swearing and smoking all the time and people taking drugs. You've got detectives trying to find a vampire murder but we don't care much about anybody in this film because nobody's really interesting. And the nudity is of the uninterested kind ,short,sideways,mostly in the dark like the director had a strong desire not to excite anybody.Still can't understand why movies like this get financed.

Unser täglich Brot

incredibly boring!!!
I am totally amazed how much praise this movie is getting.I rented the DVD thinking it would be something like the monsanto documentary or would reveal shocking facts about the food industry either about chemicals, politics or bad animal treatment.

All you got here is a guy who got permission to film some people working in the food industry and who either doesn't seem to have an opinion or had to avoid any opinions to have the permission to film in those industries.

No narration,no interviews with the workers, or music(as far as i can tell),the movie seems to have been made to be sold internationally at the least possible cost just to make a buck.

You can't even access the interview with the director without a computer!

The movie feels incomplete like if they suddenly ran out of money and couldn't add a narration! I was so boring,i had to fast forward most of it. A must to avoid DVD!

The Art of War II: Betrayal

The art of bore:betrayal
The first one was pretty good except for the bloody scenes which i pretty much disliked.

This one is clearly a low budget product from the director of the contractor, a film which was even superior to this one.

It has fights in the dark where you get the impression that snipes'double did most if not all of the fighting.

The DVD even has alternative fight scenes which really don't look that much different from those actually in the film.

In about every snipes action film straight to DVD, i can find something to like and this one isn't different but you need patience and i really was getting to lose mine at 45 minutes.

Something interesting happens at about 49 minutes

(unfortunately it starts getting in the flat and boring zone once

in a while after that) and you can tell until the end that the script

isn't the main problem but the directing is.

it's mostly flat and boring but a better director

with a bigger budget could have made something good out of it.

I also really hated the ending.You see ... there's a traitor(not such a big surprise when you see so many movies) at the end and that person is being killed in cold blood by snipes.

The whole thing is so flat and dull that it simply doesn't feel true and leaves the viewer unsatisfied.

This art of war sequel is indeed a betrayal of the first one since it hardly has any real connection to it (bringing marie makito could have helped) and is so far below in quality.

Apparently nobody was aiming high with this and it shows.

Disaster Movie

They make em because people love to laugh
I can't believe how hard reviews are for this film.First people decided that the dark knight was a masterpiece that had to be viewed 5 times at the theater and now they decided to shrink the rating of this film at below 2/10.(at least,it's where it's at as i am writing my review).

Things go in waves.One second a scary movie makes over 100 million,the other second,people snob a comedy like superhero movie. One second,meet the spartans is number one,the other second,people snob another movie spoof like disaster movie.

Disaster movie has it share of gross jokes (which i never liked but it goes with the territory) and a few jokes that don't work. But it also have situations that do make us laugh(the rub on spoof or whatever it's call is totally hilarious!)

Whatever's the case,spoofs are not dead but apparently people weren't in the mood for laughing this weekend.

Mortelle randonnée

Eye of the beholder is a masterpiece compared to this!
I listened to the shorter version and even then i felt it was 50% too long!

Eye of the beholder created tension,a mood,deeper and more appealing characters(except for the killing of the blind man which was repulsive in both versions).

I totally disagree with those who say that Ewan McGregor was too young for the part in the remake.

It's not a question or older or younger,it's a question of how good the film is putted together.

The remake was thrilling in so many ways that this film isn't.

Usually music is used to create tension.Here the main theme(which is reused more than once) sounds like it was made for a Pierre Richard comedy.

There's no real sense that the director made an effort to create tension or excitement. The only thing that got me excited for a whole two seconds was when serrault suggests to adjani that she takes a shower.(She doesn't).

I have no idea why this film is praised as a classic or got so much nominations. Stick to the remake and avoid the original.


Contains hardly any nudity at all!
A guy keeps files on the girls he sleeps with since he wants to sleep with all girls based on their alphabet names.

He then falls in love with one of them.His friend betrays him by showing her the files and explaining her the plan.Girl gets hurt.

Guy tries to win her over saying he's a changed man since he met her.

It might seem like a good story on paper but the script and direction is pretty dull.Some of the dialogue is also pretty awful.

Now if you saw the cover of this DVD and read that it even compares itself to PORKY'S, you just might think that this is a movie with a lot of nudity in the tradition of American PIE for example... but you'd be wrong.

The sex talk is there but if you want nudity,you'll have to search elsewhere.

Apart from a brief breasts shot at the end(we don't see the girl's face),it's pretty much nudity free.

if you still want to rent it,you might want to check the special feature whip 'em out pigs unrated auditions (features breasts auditions)and the filmmaker and cast commentary where you'll learn how they did this movie on the cheap.


2004 anchor bay DVD release
The tagline is: Never play it alone.

But really... you should never play it at all.

At least,there's a slight message that the ouija board can be dangerous which a film like what lies beneath seems to lack.

But will the film's message really make real people avoid the ouija board or will it make them seek it out?

if you're going to play a game, play jamanji instead!Jungle animals are less dangerous than the devil!lol

Director and screenwritter Kevin Tenny mixes fiction and fact(plus a few scenes from the omen!!)for his first theater release about the ouija board in a film which will always stay famous for Tawny kitaen's shower scene which comes late in the film(at about 1 hour 26 minutes)but i never felt the need to fast forward to it...at least not for the first viewing!

The film was made for about a million and grossed 8 to 10 times that amount and that's the only real important thing for the investors but when you have such a low budget you simply cannot come up with a film of the quality of final destination 2.

The film isn't boring but it has a few scenes of bad dialogue,bad acting and a few scenes that just don't work.

The 2004 DVD release starts with a menu featuring a rock n roll song and then the film starts with bad 80's instrumental music.

The only great choice of music was when the guy is at the lake and a short strange sound plays when he's shot(not with a gun,with a camera!) from the back.

That appropriate music wasn't composed for this film but was taken elsewhere.

The DVD commentary track is worth listening to(even if i didn't agree with most of the praise they keep giving their actors or themselves) but the making of extra is mostly disappointing apart from the scene where it's shown how the falling out the window on to a car was achieved.

This making of extra repeats two times two interviews as if they were desperate to make it last 23 minutes!!

Apparently the anchor bay people not only want you to watch the film but also want you to play the ouija since they incorporated a ouija card inside the DVD case. I guess the devil made them do it.

Beta House

American gross-out presents......
So here's another American pie presents DVD.it has all the regular elements.Gross out jokes,nudity,Eugene Levy,bad language and a main girl character who never gets naked!i guess that's the way the producers say:See?We're not that sleazy after all.Not every girl in the movie gets naked!

In American pie presents the naked mile,i thought that the midget storyline(the football game was very boring and unbelievable)was rather uninteresting so the fact that there's hardly any here is an improvement.

I rent these for the babes not for the gross outs but as long as they'll be made, i guess you'll keep having both because the producers seem to like it that way.

As for the nudity(concerning the girls)you get one full frontal from a girl who's got close to zero pubic hair and the other shots are of breasts.

Not much in terms of girls'butts.American pie presents the naked mile was superior in that departement.

The DVD has many shorts in the bonus section,including a 30 rock episode!

So what does 30 rock have to do with this film?i don't know.

I just wish they could have including a few episodes of bionic woman also!lol

Oh well, maybe next time!!

Here's the best of the bonuses. 1-exclusive interview with Mr levenstein 2-american pie presents a public service annoncement 3-ugo's foxy fan on the set

Here's the worst: 1-boobie yule log. Wanna see naked boobs moving to holiday music?

Well,this gets boring very easily because first you can't set the girl's face and secondly they aren't the prettiest(you kind of see the veins in them)on the planet.

2-nuts about pie. Apparently the set of this movie was dangerous because people thought that hitting guys in their private parts was so funny!!

Maybe the producers of Hostel and American pie could produce a movie together. it would be called:American pie presents Hostel 3.

The tagline would be....

The guys had two of each but then they had none!!

The Muppets' Wizard of Oz

it may not be pure but what is???
Some people have complained that this film from ABC/Walt Disney isn't as pure as it should be but let's not forget that there's very little that's pure in this world.

ABC was the channel that tried to break nudity and language rules with NYPD BLUE.

Walt Disney formed TOUCHSTONE to release movies with nudity,swearing and violence. They even signed controversial artists on their music labels with lyrics MICKEY MOUSE would never sing.

They also released FIRST KID(a film where a kid shows his naked butt)and COOL RUNNINGS where language was not always family friendly.

Think that THE LION KING is pure? Well,in a scene where this animal is trying to save the pig's butt and says SAVE YOUR...AAHHHH!!! This is clearly a phrase that is a reference to save your a$$.

it was meant to be that way and it's no accident.

And what about Dreamworks?In the THE ROAD TO EL DORADO when the guy says HOLY SHIP! This is clearly a reference to.. well,i'll let you guess....

And what about the first two SHREK movies? They do refer to body parts below the belt...and they aren't nipples!

And of course,we could also talk about those marvel comics or DC comics.When they transform into movies there usually appears a lot of bad words which were never permitted in the days of the authority code.

Now that they have taken the code out of the comics,they seem to take pleasure in including bloody violence featuring even popular character such as BATMAN.

These aren't your parents'parents' comics anymore!!!

I didn't watch THE MUPPETS'WIZARD OF OZ with any children so much of the sexual innuendos clearly passed over my head (the nipple thing didn't even offend me but it did disturbed me in some of those 90's BATMAN films!LOL) and i only find that perhaps the cleavage on a female CGI was a little bit strong for family viewing.

When i watch cleavage,i don't want any kids in the room!LOL

I thought that the sets of THE WIZARD OF OZ and the CGI characters were interesting.

I thought that the stealing of the witches' eye thing was invented just to make a connection to KILL BILL and seemed somewhat a violent theme for a fairy tale but some reviewers seem to say that part of that was already in the original story of THE WIZARD OF OZ.mmmmm...how strange!!

About 70% of the jokes fall flat and there's just three jokes in the whole picture that are ALMOST funny.

I want to point out that i was a big fan of THE MUPPET SHOW but that this movie is pretty hard to watch because it's so badly made.

After 60 minutes,you have the impression that they just didn't know what to do and that they were just killing time to make it last a certain amount of time.

I would also question the inclusions of the director of KILL BILL in a scene where he explains how violent the scene would be if he filmed it and references to other R rated films.

The DVD contains three special features. 1-Outakes & bloopers: those are usually the best thing on dvds but not in this case because none are funny.

2-Pepe's exclusive making of: First of all,it's fairly short and that's good. Unlike some,i don't blame the failure of this film on ASHANTI. When she's talking to Pepe,some of her charm clearly shines through.

3-Extended interview with Quentin Tarantino: Here Quentin is interviewed by Pepe. It's not as offensive as his part in the film because he doesn't describe violence in the same way and you don't have to show it to your children if you don't like what the guy stands for.

I thought that it was interesting apart from the ending where he tells that the muppets films never influenced him in anyway.It seems like a joke that simply doesn't work.

The filmmakers might have tried to make a more mature muppets film to attract the adults but the result will probably appeal more to young kids and will mostly bore their parents!!!

The DVD gets a 2 for the film and a 2 for two of the special features.

Gefangene Frauen

One of the best women in prison films ever!!!
i'm very surprised of the low average rating that this film is getting.

i've seem many disappointing exploitation films(dark lighting, excessive gore,dull story,lack of good looking girls and lack of full frontal nudity) but this one really stands apart. it has beautiful girls,good locations, scenes well lit and an interesting story.

it has constant nudity and it doesn't shy away from full frontal like so many other films seem to do just to attract a different market.Of course,it's not perfect. But what films are? The fight between a naked man and a woman (she easily wins)isn't very credible. Another scene were there's a grenade and smoke isn't credible as the grenade looks like a plastic green lemon and the explosion(if you can call it that!) looks like a cloud of smoke.

There's also a scene where a girl kills a doctor with a steel instrument. First of all,it's doubtful it would have killed him and it makes the girl look bad(a knock on the head would still have done the trick)since the doctor was not established as a very evil character after all.

But there's so much that's good about this film,that those are little imperfections that can be easily forgotten.

This review is the one of the 2006 uncut PAL widescreen special edition titled CAGED WOMEN which comes with an xxx stars bonus.

The xxx stars bonus is clips of really bad porn so if you can find a DVD cheaper without the bonus,go for that one.

Evil Town

lynda exposing her top charms once more....
This is a film where former playboy playmate lynda wiesmeier exposes her wonderful breasts once more after WHEELS OF FIRE two years previously.

So if you're searching for that kind of stuff you may be satisfied but pass the film's first 20 minutes you won't find anymore nudity even though the story still concerns the kidnapping of other women.

After reading the other comments,i was expecting a worst movie than it is but it's STILL pretty bad.

One of the highlights is a scene (about at 64 minutes after 20 minutes of dullness)where this doctor with an accent is explaining his medical experiments to the james keach character but it's pretty short and the ending of this film(which isn't even 90 minutes)is unsatisfying and makes you ask: is that all?is that it?

Some of the acting(lynda is alright but there's just something wrong with this keach character)is pretty terrible and unconvincing but perhaps it has to do with a shoestring budget.The music is pretty terrible too because it doesn't fit with the film's themes.

The scenes featuring Lynda gets a 3 and the doctor's explanation & performance gets a 1.

Vild på sex

80 minutes too long!!!!
i had seem Maria Forsa for the first time in VAMPIRE ECSTACY.I thought she was the best looking girl in that film and wanted to see more of her so i was glad to come upon her GIRL MEETS GIRL movie.

I thought i was in for a treat. I wasn't.

The film is way too long and you really have to be into lesbian scenes. i'm not against some lesbian content but the way it's presented here is mostly dull and boring.

The lighting,the choices of the actresses, the way the scenes are shot and the weak storyline makes this film pretty uninteresting. VAMPIRE ECSTACY looks like a masterpiece compared to this!

Wheels of Fire

The real stars here are Lynda wiesmeier's breasts......
They are shown not just once but often in a 30 minutes period so if that's not your cup of tea,avoid this film!

This of course is a total MAD MAX/ROAD WARRIOR rip off featuring a little bit of underground action with monster rejects from THE TIME MACHINE!

The other girls in the film are Laura Banks (stinger)a relatively flat chested action woman and Linda Grovenor(Spike), a girl who can read minds. Laura has a very brief topless scene,Linda doesn't.

Gary Watkins(trace) is the mad max of this film. He does cruel things like burning people with a flame thrower but we're so caught up in this comic book adventure (even though it's not very good!) that we just don't want to analyze the cruelty of the act of burning people alive! That would slow the pleasure of the action and it would leave the film without a hero!

Some might say that this is a cheap effort but you still must praise the works of the stunt people and effects people.

There are many explosions and that flame thrower comes very close to the stuntmen who catch on fire.

There is a sense of danger and you're asking yourself,how did they do it?(in a manner of keeping everybody safe.)

So in conclusion,it's mostly the girls that makes this film watchable and we can only thank the filmmakers that it lasts under 90 minutes!


nudity,violence,gore and bad language!!
This has everything that Paul verhoeven likes: female and male nudity,violence, gore and bad language!

It has uneven parts but at close to two hours and 20 minutes, it has a few good suspenseful parts also and it mostly keeps your attention through it thou it would have been a better picture if it had been edited at under two hours.

The first six minutes where they talk about religion(bible,prayers,the lord)would have been a good place to make a cut.

I'm not sure what the point was there.Perhaps it's message is that the main female character is jew but not religious.

If you're interested in female nudity, there are many occasions where Carica van houten's breasts are exposed.

The only full frontal female nudity in the film is when she's sitting down and painting her pubic area to match her head hair. That scene is pretty dull compared to the breasts ones.

Of course,since Vehoeven doesn't want your experience in watching this to be to pleasant,he adds a vomit scene,profanity,a graphic relatively gory dead man on the floor who got shot in the head scene and...oh let's not forget the bucket full of human waste(yeah,the brown stuff that usually goes down the toilet)that splashes down on the female lead.

it's a lot to endure but for Carica van houten, it's all worth it!

Blood and Lace

PLEASE release a DVD with commentaries before everybody's dead!!!!
This was a film that made a lot of it's publicity on the fact that it featured brutal hammer murders and that the film was rated GP which was like PG at the time.

After seeing the murders, you really have a hard time thinking that anyone could give this anything but an R!!

I've tried to find information about this that could put some light on the matter like perhaps a tamer cut was shown to the rating board and than another version was released... but i never did find such information.

I guess a DVD with features and commentaries would be really welcomed.....PLEASE before everybody involved with this film is DEAD!!!!!

Anyway,first comes the murders....than comes about 20 minutes of dull time but after that, the whole thing becomes really interesting.

i'm only giving it a 5 because i dislike gore and it lacks sex appeal but i liked most of it... the suspense,the mystery and the surprise revelations at the end.The film doesn't contain any nudity even though it touches on subjects such as attempted rape or incest.it doesn't contain any real bad language either unless you are offended by words like hell or bitch!!

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