UltimateTrekker

IMDb member since January 2001
    Lifetime Total
    10+
    IMDb Member
    20 years

Reviews

The Cell
(2000)

It's Ass
I really can't put it any better. The film has the weakest plot and the wonderous acting of J-Lo which usually has something to do with the reason she has a career: Ass.

Oooh, look. Recreations of paitings that were done better 200 years ago. Wow. When will people stop thinking that because they've not seen it before it's good.

If I made a stop motion pornography film using human feces instead of clay, it would be something you've not seen before. But it'd still be ****.

Jake 2.0
(2003)

Maybe they got something here...
After watching the first episode of Jake 2.0 (a name that scared me off at first) I think there maybe a chance for a good show.

It's basically a Million Dollar Man meets Spider-man kinda thing.

The lead, Jake, is in a lab accident where he is contaminated with some experimental nanites that enter his system and begin integrating. Hence the super powers (strength, hearing, seeing...)

I like the idea that it's beginning. They even mention that he will get stronger and better as the integration continues. The downside is that in order to show us how great he is, they overshoot the bounds. He should, for the first week, have trouble controlling these abilities, causing nearly as many accidents as saves (as Spider-man did in his first comics).

However, you only got 1 hour and it was fairly good. If done properly this can be a wonderful show. However, it could just as easily sink into schlock. What was established quite nicely is a double love interest. The girl he likes and the girl we all think he should like. I say, watch and find out what they can do with this.

Boys and Girls
(2000)

Jason Biggs proves he's everything Freddy Prince Jr. is not.
I rented this movie hoping to see Jason Biggs give good performance. And he did, during his 15-20 minutes. The rest of the movie is filled with the horrible Freddy Prince Jr. and the beautiful Clair. They have NO chemistry, it's as if they were given lines and are reading them for the first time.

Everything about this movie is for 13 year old girls. It's view of college is a whimsical one with clubs that don't exist and parties that don't quite happen like that.

Biggs is great. Freddy Prince needs to be stopped. Join me. He must not make any more movies! He's like a young Al Gore, but less entertaining.

Evil Dead II
(1987)

Turned me off the series.
Having heard so much of the Evid Dead Trilogy, and liking Cambell I decided to watch the trilogy. I had seen parts of Army of Darkness, but wasn't sure what I thought.

After watching the first movie I was enthralled. With very minimal effects and budget they made a great horror movie. Best of all, the good guys all die!

The second... well, even Bruce once said that they went the wrong direction with it and it didn't work. Instead of a horror, we're given a slapstick comedy. Scenes seems to happen because they wanted to, and it's UNfunny.

What a waste. My wife was interested in seeing this movie becaused she was suprised how good the first was, but she left after 10 minutes, and I finished it. After it was done I had NO intention of watching the third movie because from the little I saw it was done in the same style.

If you like the first one, that bears nothing on the second. They are compeletly different styles of movies.

I can't really make a recomondation because some like it, some don't. You won't know until you try. But, if you like Army of Darkness, you'll like Evil Dead II, and visa versa.

Eye of the Beholder
(1999)

Looking for Ashley?
Ashley Judd topless.

I just gave you everything good about this movie. You've read the other comments, you've heard of the ambiguous non-ending (it's not even a cliff hanger because you DON'T care what happens as long as it's over.)

My suggestion, you're most likely seeing this for Judd, then go see Normal Life. Since the nudity is better, and this IS why you're watching this, right?

The Mark Twain Prize: Richard Pryor
(1999)

A good tribute to a great comedian.
So many greats came out to pay tribute to Richard Pryor. The saddest part of the whole thing is that they kept cutting to Richard who simply waved. I think he was waving the whole time, not really understanding what all those people were there for.

Robin Williams of course made the stand out, crazy man speech, but all gave us a laugh, and reminded us that this man really broke the rules and gave us some great times.

2010: The Year We Make Contact
(1984)

Why?
I've read many comments that suggest 2010 is superior because we know the answers. Because they don't like questions being left open.

I found 2010 to be spectacle. Nothing more. We see great things, yea! People point out how wonderful the special effects were for having been done 17 years ago, but do they mention that 2001 was 23 years ago!

These movies are not comparable as they are entirely different. It's made for 2 reasons. 1.) Money 2.) "We don't get it?" For those of you who found solace in the ending of this movie, I pity you. Waiting 16 years to find out the monoliths were hear to create a second sun (which would completely destroy all life on the planet earth by the way) is the most empty an hollow completion I've seen to date.

I had a feeling most of the good ratings are backlashes against the first film. Please, don't say 2010 is good because 2001 wasn't, and visa versa. This movie is an overly long epilogue that fell victim to whatever crapped into most 1980's drama's and Sci-Fi. It seems a 12 year old wrote the formula for that decade, and all but 10 movies followed. Especially when special effects was in play.

I'm not saying don't see it, like most movies, you'll want to see it (for the same reasons we've all seen Showgirls and Battlefield Earth) You just have to see it. Just don't buy it, con the rich guy to and borrow it from him.

Swordfish
(2001)

So good, I forgot it was a summer movie
Contains Minor Spoiler

I'm the first person to stay away from Summer movies. We've had a 3 story screen in town for years, but I haven't seen it because blockbusters they play there tend to be terrible.

But, Travolta has made another comeback with Jackman again proving his greatness. Dominic Sena (Gone In Sixty Seconds) again gives us a summer movie that doesn't *feel* like one while watching.

Sure, when you get done you realize the car chases were placed perfectly at 60 and 90 minutes. Most noticeable is (minor minor spoiler) that Travolta starts the movie with a great little speech about Hollywood produces crap, and it's mainly because the audience demands a happy ending. But, in the end, the audience for this movie, is given a happy ending (if you consider happy ending a spoiler, welcome to American cinema :)

But again, Sena provides us with enough fun that we look past the summer formula (car chase, amazing special effects, gratuitous (but wonderful) breasts on Halle Berry) and just have fun.

Also note that the first major special effect is far worth the $8.50 theater price. Don't wait to see it on your 17 inch TV via a coaxial cable and 5 year old VCR.

Brazil
(1985)

I feel cheated!
Have I seen worse movies than this? Yes. And no.

Yes, because it ALWAYS gets worse. No, because most BAD movies don't have followings or some sort of sense that it is in anyway good.

The first time I watched the movie I turned it off halfway, but upon reading the high recommendations, I blew another $3.75. What a mistake.

I had thought the first half was bad enough, but the second half... In quickly sank in to a world that had no purpose or meaning. Just images. A series of pictures in Gilliam?s head.

I like Gilliam, I loved 12 Monkeys and Fear and Loathing, and of course his Python work. But this... nothing I can say can express the extreme disaffection.

Please. Stay away. Save your money and time. I could have rented Hitchcock. Or even Showgirls! It would have been more intellectually rewarding.

Saving Private Ryan
(1998)

Did I miss something?
Was the movie done well? Yes, beautifully. Was it any good. No, not at all.

What was the allure, it was long, unentertaining, and I really found no point. Maybe that was the point, but the pointlessness of war could have been made faster.

This movie turned me off of war movies for years. I always wanted to see A Thin Red Line, but I'm still too warred out, years later.

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