nigepitz

IMDb member since July 2019
    Lifetime Total
    100+
    Lifetime Plot
    1+
    IMDb Member
    4 years, 9 months

Reviews

Reacher
(2022)

Something missing here...
Let's skip over the fact that Alan Ritchson can't act to save his life and concentrate on the rest of the non-event. It's like watching a series of short set pieces poorly stitched together. The plot is derivative and the violence over the top and cartoon like. Yes, we know Americans are obsessed with guns and violence so every TV series or movie has to feature the deaths of thousands of baddies who can't shoot straight and heroes who can jump out the way of bullets, but this has become so tedious. So over 7 episodes we pass through an assault course of childish gun-foolery until we get to an obvious and hugely disappointing final episode. It's hard to criticise too much as this is the best TV can offer now as everything has to be dumbed down for the gibbering masses. The writer is apparently 'award winning' but so were my granddad's parsnips. All in all a waste of 7 hours.

Arrival
(2016)

Magnificent
If only all films were like this - thought provoking, intelligent, well made, brilliantly written with top notch acting and a great score. This is a story about humanity not about aliens. It is about choices and what you would do if you experienced time in a non-linear way. If you can see your future would you still make the same choices? It's also about how language is fundamental to the way we see and experience the world. Language wires our brain so it must affect the way we interact. This is the core of the film and Amy Adams shows us all the joy and pain of knowing your fate. Louise knows what's coming is beyond terrible but she embraces it anyway. One of my absolute favourite films and a fine example of what sci fi can and should do.

Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang
(2010)

6.1 average. Morons
Ok, let's skip past the fact that in international law it is illegal to give any project written or starring Emma Thompson less than 10 stars. If you don't know this you need to go in a corner and have a word with yourself. She is a goddess and no other opinions are available. This film is witty, charming and heart melting. If you thought otherwise you need to book some clinic or other to get over yourself. It's everything that a kids film should be and not dumbed down for stupid American children. Utterly wonderful from first frame to last and a wonderful piece of crafted storytelling. If America doesn't get this film well it juts proves that you are the stupid, xenophobic, idiots that the rest of the world believes you are.

Blue Beetle
(2023)

Much, much better than it's 6/10 rating
So as a recent immigrant and citizen of Mexico and with an extended family of Mexican in-laws this movie struck a chord with me. I have avoided superhero movies since the Avengers finale and in my opinion the DC films have been 1 or 2 star offerings a best. But having heard good things I gave Blue Beetle a go. At the core it's is about a Mexican family and although they are caricatures the family dynamic rings true. The special effects are not the best but that doesn't matter when you are rooting for the heroes and engaged in the story. There is humour and although it's soppy, it's never forced and vomit-worthy like many Hollywood films. Watched it with my Oaxacan wife and we loved it.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
(2023)

A step down but still entertaining
The GOTG series (as nobody is calling it) has always relied a a certain charm to win us over. The original film was full of wit and charm as well as great effects, characters and a compelling story. GOTG3 replaces a lot of this wit and charm with a much darker edge. Many of the scenes in Rocket's back story are actually quite disturbing. Drax gets much of the comedic material and it's delivered well. The CGI is a case of more is not better as it becomes a bit overwhelming and threatens to swamp the actors talking of which, Chris Pratt seems distracted and largely uninvolved. One of odd thing is that all the actors seem 30kg heavier than the last movie (except for Zoe Saldana who is as lovely as ever) All in all it's a film with a lot of flaws but it's still and enjoyable ride.

John Wick: Chapter 4
(2023)

A big disappointment.
JW4 has received rave reviews from critics and audiences alike but that's a mystery to me. JW1 introduced us to the world of the Continental, JW himself was tough but vulnerable and funny and the fight scenes were like nothing we'd seen before. It still had one foot in reality.

But from JW2 onwards Mr Wick has become indestructible, an unkillable superhero with magical powers. Sure there were some good moments in 2 and 3 and some wonderful choreography but for me, everything that made the first instalment so amazing is missing from JW4. The humour has gone and many of the set piece fights look like they were shot during rehearsals when they were being practiced at half speed. You can see the stunt men waiting for their cue to attack. Worst of all though, it's boring. I had to turn it off and go back to it the next day. The bullet proof suits are ridiculous and reminded me of the missteps of the Bond franchise before the Craig reboot - (invisible car?) Keananunu is obviously older now and can't throw himself around like he could back in the day and maybe this is one of the problems. The biggest though is that when the protagonist is indestructible there is no jeopardy so therefore no interest.

Sisu
(2022)

Ultimately disappointing given the trailer
It's not a bad film. It's just as good as it needs to be to warrant all the great reviews. It's a blessed relief to see a film that doesn't feature Americans and their cancerous cultural bankruptcy and the bleak Finnish setting is a nice change but somehow it's neither funny enough or serious enough. The violence is cartoonish and a lot of fun but the bullet proof indestructibility actually becomes a bit tiresome. Without jeopardy it's hard to care. Blowing up Nazis can never be a bad thing and there are some good set pieces but unfortunately it never quite comes together. Nice try and at least it not another loathsome conveyer belt Hollywood vomit fest.

The Mother
(2023)

Oh dear
Well I am all for equality in the world so it's good to see that women can now star in badly made, cliche-ridden movies with indestructible US agents too. Once this kind of dire dumbed down tripe, made for US audiences with sub-par IQs, was the territory of ripped male actors with little in the way of acting skills but a lot in the way of pecs. Now, it seems, even Jennifer Lopez is prepared to sacrifice her talents to the Netflix dollar and make a stand for women in Holywood by churning out this mindless copy of 10,000 other movies. The US is so obsessed with guns and violence that as long as there is some shooting - plot, dialogue and storytelling can just be forgotten. JL is a good actress and worthy of something much better than this.

Chupa
(2023)

It's not Paddington.
Paddington and Paddington 2 have set the bar so high for movies like this that everything else pales in comparison. The combination of wit, charm, fabulous writing and appeal to kids and adults alike is impossible to better. So Chupa has a stab at this with some questionable CGI and an over-sweet sensibility and a lot of cliches. However in its favour it's bilingual and it ticks enough boxes to be enjoyable. There is a problem with the sanitising of a very important Mexican myth and it does distill Mexican culture down to Lucha Libre and basic lifestyle for Americans to scoff at to pump up their sense of superiority. As someone with dual Mexican and English nationality I didn't find it offensive. In Mexican culture the Chupacabra is a vicious frightening animal not a fluffy bunny. That said I've seen worse.

65
(2023)

Irredeemably awful
Full disclosure - I didn't watch all of this nonsense but I suffered enough of it to make an informed opinion. It's rubbish. Facile, dumb, irritating, boring irrelevance. We are, of course, used to being re-educated be Americans about their changed version of history to fit their sense of arrogance and entitlement but through the portal of Hollywood they have now taught me that 65 million years ago visitors from another planet spoke with an American accent. They had microwaves too and hoodies. It is of course quite possible that the earth was visited over the billions of years of its existence, by beings from other worlds and we probably cannot imagine what they might have looked like such is the myriad diversity of life but I think we can be sure that if they did, they didn't look like Adam Driver.

Murder Mystery 2
(2023)

Too stupid to be funny
So the first instalment was frothy nonsense but well made, entertaining frothy nonsense. This second outing once again featuring the annoying hyper-untalented goof womble, Adam Sandler and the facelift that was once Jenifer Anniston crosses the line into overblown cartoonism. The best bits are those featuring the French policeman reprising his role from the first film. Sandler and Anniston have zero chemistry and this puts holes in the already sinking ship. The story is stupid, unoriginal and more importantly it isn't funny. In the third act we get brainless car chases and the usual cacophony of cliches. This is one to avoid unless you've got a six pack and a bag of crisps you need to finish whilst keeping your head empty.

Keep Breathing
(2022)

This is what a modern world deserves
Managed three episodes and gave up. So there a many problems, the first and most important of which is that the central character is so obnoxious, self-centered, mean, whinging, rude and disrespectful that you don't care if she lives or dies. This is typical modern fare where you are supposed to care because she is a woman and you have to forgive her awful behaviour for the same reason. She is also a high powered lawyer but apparently too stupid to use her jumper to take boiling water from the fire and instead lights a new one and puts out the one with the hot water. This had the potential to be an interesting survival drama but it's another navel gazing treatise about how awful life is for rich, privileged, entitled women.

White Elephant
(2022)

Quite unbelievably bad
Well life is full of surprises. I never thought I would live long enough to see a film worse than Jordan Peeler's 'Us'. But here it is. A plot stuffed with every action cliche ever invented, risible dialogue and preposterous action sequences that are so ridiculous they defy belief. How does tripe like this get made when there are 1000s of great scripts that never see the light of day? It's awful in every way. How did such high profile actors read this garbage and agree to appear in it? America is now making movies in its own image -stupid, ignorant gun-obsessed nonsense with no hint of originality, wit or intelligence.

Pig
(2021)

Nick Cage does it again...
Pig is the polar opposite of Cage's recent brilliant and hilarious performance as himself in The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent. In Pig he is low key, grizzly and subtle and it's a delight. Yes, the movie is slow but constantly engaging. On the surface it's about a truffle farmer and a stolen pig but underneath it's about loneliness, grief, loss and how holding onto one thing can be the link to the real world that keeps us sane. I loved this film and it was so nice to see a film maker trying to do something different and succeeding. Also great to see Nick Cage proving what a brilliant actor he really is.

Glass Onion
(2022)

Knives out not a cut above
Glass Onion is ultimately a frothy disappointment. The plot is more convoluted but less clever than the original and the ending a tired cliche when I was waiting for another twist. The biggest problem is not the story telling or the film making per se, it is that the characters are so cartoon like. Daniel Craig is having a lot of fun as Benoit Blanc but he has become a comedy detective which makes believing his abilities as a master puzzle solver that much harder.

It's a great cast and they all go totally over the top which is fun at times but it all feels a bit empty. Still, it's a fun way to spend 2 hours.

Spirited
(2022)

A rambling mess but a fun one
Ok. It's all over the place but the reworking and twisting of the oft-filmed classic is a lot of fun and Reynolds and Ferrell you get exactly what you expect. The songs are not especially memorable but the musical set pieces are fun and the lyrics very clever, in fact the script keeps things fizzing all the way the through. It's hard to get grumpy about a film like this as it's so good natured and you really would have to be Scrooge or a film critic not to enjoy it. Some of the cast, especially Octavia Spencer are underused but families will enjoy their night on the sofa watching this. The ending was a nice surprise.

Vesper
(2022)

Strangely mesmerising
So there are some reviews that give this movie a low rating because there are not enough dumb explosions and one dimensional characterisation. After sitting through so many sci fi movies with huge plot holes and mind bending science errors it's nice to see a film that is at least attempting to do something with more soul. There are complaints that it is slow but this is just because we have been brainwashed into accepting flash bang fluff made for the minuscule attention span of the average American. For me it never felt slow but considered. The acting is great, the story nothing new but well delivered and the dystopian world entirely convincing. Compared to Jordan Peele's sci fi misfire 'Nope', it's masterpiece.

Monster
(2022)

Fell off a woke cliff
Dahmer's story has been told many times simply because we are horrified and fascinated by what he did in equal measure. His story is also part of the great debate about nature vs nurture and what has to happen to someone to turn them into a monster. This series started off so well as we delved into this very issue. The first 6 or 7 episodes were compelling but then something happened, as though the director suddenly chickened out. Later victims and Dahmer's experiments with injecting his victims in the brain to create a zombie he could control, were completely ignored. A relationship with one of his victims was invented and an occupant of his apartment block was invented. Then suddenly and for no apparent reason, the whole story stopped being about a serial killer and became all about civil rights with it being suggested that Dahmer's motivation was racist. Dahmer was many things but he was an equal opportunities killer. He chose victims because he found them beautiful and the colour of that person was not his concern. I don't understand why the series suddenly went down this cul-de-sac. Yes, he could have been caught earlier if the police had done their job but that is a different story about institutional racism in the USA and nothing to do with Dahmer, his actions or motivation.

Nope
(2022)

Not a Nope but more a 'meh'
Ok, so confessions first, I HATED 'Us' it is far and away the worst film I have ever seen. But, I wanted to give 'Nope' a chance because I love Sci Fi. For the most part I wish I hadn't bothered. At it's base level it's an allegory about the treatment of animals by humans but as usual Jordan Peele thinks he's cleverer than the rest of us and fills the film with a load of pretentious pseudo-intellectual twaddle. It's too slow, the editing is weird, the whole chimp thing is pointless and the last 30 minutes are frankly just poor film making. When we should be building to a climax we get dozens of shots of the lead character standing by a barn doing nothing. Most of the writing is lazy and the acting is surprisingly poor in parts. It's better than the loathsome 'Us' and the massively overrated 'Get Out' but that's not saying much. I would suggest that spending 2 hours servicing your vacuum cleaner is better use of your time than watching this film.

Fall
(2022)

Enjoyable up to a point......
Whilst Fall has some moments of tension and drama and is ultimately quite enjoyable, it has too many flaws to be anything more than run-of-the-mill. On the plus side, some of the shots are real enough to cause vertigo but too many times the CGI is too obvious. The two main characters are annoying too so it's hard to feel bad for them. The ending is an absolute disaster as though they ran out of money and just skipped the rescue sequence and headed straight for the epilogue. One second she's teetering on the edge of a wobbly satellite dish and then she's suddenly on the ground safe and well. That spoilt the whole movie for me.

Day Shift
(2022)

A dumb movie made for dumb Americans
Stupid, badly written and acted and as usual with modern Hollywood films it is designed for an audience with low IQ's and an addiction to violence.

Jamie Foxx is OK but not much else to recommend it.

Prey
(2022)

Not as good as the rave reviews but solid
Whilst the quality of the cast is excellent and the shots of '18th century' USA are stunning the problem with this movie is that it gets a bit silly. There is a long build up showing us that whilst the heroine has courage and a desire to break from her traditional role she is not much of a hunter. So it's then difficult to explain how a young girl can bring down the Predator with ease when it has decimated hundreds of heavily armed Frenchmen. It's also hard to explain why the Predator dispatches everyone else in a frenzy of gore but seems to back off and give her time. That said, it's more good than bad.

The Gray Man
(2022)

More Hollywood mind poison
I am becoming increasingly depressed about Hollywood's big budget output. More violence, more guns and more stupid which is perfectly in line with that ridiculous country. Yes, I get Americans have sub-zero IQs and limited attention spans and an obsession with firearms but last time I looked the USA has about 4% of the world's population. I know this is a shock to you but some of us are not from the USA. I am sick of the sense of entitlement in these movies that the USA can have undercover 'black ops' in any country they wish and murder law enforcement officers whenever they wish without consequence. It is a constant subliminal message that the USA is more important than other countries. Guns aren't cool, the USA isn't great and this horrible public penis waving needs to stop. Why do they want to believe that their country is full of clandestine organisations bumping off their own citizens? Wasn't that their justification for invading Iraq? Chris Evans' character is a preposterous cartoon and the second best Ryan in Holywood is indestructible. It's a globe trotting barrel of nonsense wrapped up in a hand stitched quilt of jingoism. Awful.

Jurassic World Dominion
(2022)

The dumbing down continues....
JWD is typical of modern blockbusters. Clichéd writing, a lack of good storytelling and narrative, glaring plot and continuity errors. In short modern films are made for an American population with low IQs and short attention spans. How exactly does the Dolomites have frozen lakes and sun-tropical forest at the same time? Sometimes a blockbuster can get past all of the glaring problems because it's just a great ride and a lot of fun. JWD is frankly boring from about 10 minutes in. I am a big fan of Sam Neill and Chris Pratt but they can't save this bland dumbfest of a movie.

Everything Everywhere All at Once
(2022)

Enjoy the ride.
The mind that produced this incredible movie is either that of a madman or a genius. Visually stunning and wildly Imaginative as well as dramatic, funny and moving. Brilliantly acted by everyone, astonishing writing and the smartest movie I have ever seen.

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