Beard_Of_Serpico

Swiss Army Man is the story of a man stranded on a desert island. He's lost all hope and just as he is about to hang himself he sees a corpse wash up on shore. The corpse has magical powers and the ability to communicate so they become friends and set off to reunite the man with his girlfriend back in civilisation.

Yes this is a very weird movie. I can appreciate how unique and strange it is and the first half an hour or so is pretty entertaining. It doesn't come across as particularly pretentious but it quickly becomes pretty annoying and it just isn't funny.

It's billed as a comedic adventure but it doesn't really have any comedy or adventure, just scene after scene of a deeply mentally ill man messing around with a corpse and laughing at farts.

It's cool to see someone actually trying to make something which is completely different to most movies out there but you also need a good story, relatable characters and for a movie this freaking strange you need real laughs.

Charlie Sheen plays a hot shot, trigger happy cop who's trying to stop a violent criminal gang from smuggling millions of dollars worth of heroin from Mexico.

If you have a soft spot for B-action movies then this is definitely watchable but it's still a pretty bad movie. The editing is terrible with some quick cuts which don't make much sense and there's a very silly "Shoosh!" sound during nearly every scene transition. Some of the acting is pretty bad too especially the actress who plays Sheen's wife, she wasn't great. The action is pretty good though.

There's one shot where a car crashes and rolls multiple times while Sheen is running along side it shooting at bad guys which was actually really cool and there's some nice old school blood squibs.

I think it would have been much better with a different director.

Transformers: Age of extinction has a pretty shallow plot and paper thin characters but on the plus side it has absolutely insane stunt work and special effects.

It looks incredible and the amount of work to set up even a quick 5 second shot in some of the action scenes must have been crazy. Mark Whalberg was a fine choice as the new lead and although TJ Miller's character is very annoying he gets incinerated about 20 minutes in to the movie so it's all ok.

The movie never tries to be anything more than it needs to be, it's a movie about giant alien robots punching each other in the face so people leaving bad reviews because it wasn't deep or thought provoking need to stop taking themselves so seriously. I love a good character driven movie like There will be blood but sometimes all i want to see is crap explode and Transformers: Age of extinction makes crap explode real good.

Quick review because i just watched it - This was a fun action adventure movie. It isn't deep but if you want to see some pretty great action with impressive special effects and a likeable cast then you can't really go wrong with Uncharted.

Not as violent as the games, i mean over the course of 4 games Nathan Drake must murder 1000 people but the action was still well done.

This was a very easy watch and i laughed multiple times, it was fun.

John Cena plays United States marine John Triton. His wife is kidnapped by murderous jewel thieves so he fights to get her back and kill the bad guys. This is not high art but if you love action movies it probably has everything you want - Brutal hand to hand combat, shootouts, massive explosions, a comical evil bad guy and a bulletproof hero.

Robert Patrick is hilarious as the wise cracking insane bad guy, Cena is JACKED and the action scenes were better than i expected especially the opening flashback scene where we see John in the military, it was pretty nuts.

It's dumb, it has bad jokes (which you will still laugh at) and the action is really good. Don't take it seriously, this is a fun time.

I picked this movie up because it was advertised as a horror comedy splatter movie from the people behind The Greasy Strangler. Unfortunately the first half of the movie is very slow and it doesn't feel like it's really going anywhere. The last half is pretty fun once the action picks up but it wasn't nearly as depraved or over the top as The Greasy Strangler. The acting is good especially from Elijah Wood and Stephen McHattie who plays such a horrible mean old man who has some hilarious lines.

It was an enjoyable enough movie but it could have been so much better if everything was cranked up a few notches, i really expected this to be a splatterfest but instead it's more like an indie drama which suddenly turns into a grindhouse movie for the last half hour.

Quentin Tarantino's crime drama is a stone cold classic. Every scene has quotable lines and memorable moments and it influenced pretty much every crime thriller for the next 20 years and it's still doing it now.

It's seriously cool, shockingly violent, sexy as hell and funnier then most comedies. If for some reason you haven't seen it then go and see it now, you won't regret it.

Oscar Isaac is a great actor and Paul Schrader is a decent director who's made a few movies i enjoyed. He also wrote Taxi Driver which is one of the best movies ever made.

So i was expecting this to be pretty good considering i read it was meant to be a revenge thriller.

Sadly though the movie is very slow and not much exciting happens. Oscar Isaac does a good job, he's intense as hell and i want to know more about his character.

The movie never manages to get out of first gear, there's a cool setup here for a gritty, realistic thriller but it never happened.

The rest of the PPV is very good especially the triple threat tag match with The New Day, Uso's and Lucha Dragons but the main draw for this show is the great main event title match between Roman Reigns and Sheamus.

They beat the absolute hell out of each other, there's so many crazy spots through tables and off of ladders and hard hitting slams. At one point Reigns deadlifts Sheamus and slams him straight on to a metal ladder which looks so painful. There's even a couple of rare chair shots to the head.

Sheamus retains the championship and it really made both guys look hard as nails.

Go see this match!!!

Albert Pyun is an interesting filmmaker, he has the vision and ambition of a director like James Cameron or Ridley Scott but a fraction of their budget.

This means that his movies might be pretty bad by conventional standards but they have a lot of heart and charm and that is why i enjoy Cyborg.

Cyborg is set in a grim and very violent post-apocalyptic future and has some genuinely disturbing moments.

This is one of Van Damme's earliest movies so his acting might be a bit stiff but he looks so smooth and cool during the action scenes which also make liberal use of slow motion.

The plot is very simple but stays engaging and the movie flies along at a brisk pace. It feels pretty intense at times.

If you grew up in the 1980's and/or are a fan of old school action and B movies then this is a no brainer especially if you like Jean-Claude Van Damme. Just don't stare at his dodgy wig in the flashback scenes for too long.

This movie received some pretty scathing reviews back when it came out and apparently it was even nominated for several Golden raspberry awards including Kevin Costner for worst actor.

Does the movie deserve all of that? Hell no, this is a fun action black comedy which i think a lot of people will enjoy especially if you are a fan of Quentin Tarantino and similar edgy violent thrillers.

Kurt Russell is reliably cool as always and i actually thought Costner was pretty badass, i want the jacket he wears for much of the movie. The action is frantic and bloody and i enjoy the overall politically incorrect tone running through the movie. Some scenes are actually really cool and stylish looking.

It isn't perfect, there are some really out of place nu metal songs on the soundtrack (there should be way more Elvis songs) and some of the jokes do fall flat.

Looking up some other movies which came out in 2001, is this honestly as bad as trash like Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles or Ghosts Of Mars?

Check it out, you might be surprised.

Van Damme plays Alain Moreau, a French police detective who finds his twin brother has been murdered. He soon discovers his brother was involved with the Russian mob in New York so he impersonates him to find out why he was killed.

This is Van Damme in his prime with exciting action including some great car chases, convincing hand to hand combat and glorious blood squibs. Hong Kong director Ringo Lam makes excellent over the top action movies and he does a fine job here. If you're a fan of these kinds of movies then you'll get exactly what you're looking for, it's a blast.

Natasha Henstridge is smoking hot and Jean Claude still has some of the most beautiful spin kicks in the history of action movies, he's so smooth.

Check out the trailer on Youtube, you'll know straight away that this is an action movie worth seeing.

It's not a terrible movie but not one which i would watch multiple times.

I like the way the story is a weird alternate version of real life events and Ralph Fiennes is a class act, he's a really great actor.

Sadly the plot is really convoluted, not overly complicated but hard to follow at times and the action looks very fake. It's as if it was filmed in front of a green screen and the actor's movements don't look natural.

I mean just hire good stunt performers and action choreographers, it makes a world of difference and surely costs less than using a lot of CG. Look at the John Wick and Mission Impossible movies, so much of those movies are done in-camera and they look awesome.

Use old school blood squibs, they look so much better than CG blood hits.

Also the movie's tone is all over the place. One minute there's sex jokes and wacky action and the next the movie is trying to show us the horrors of war with dramatic readings of WW1 trench poetry. It's pretty dumb.

The show is overall decent but watch this PPV for the main event elimination chamber match featuring Triple H, Shaun Michaels, Umaga, Jeff Hardy, Jericho and JBL.

What a great match, there's dangerous looking train wreck spots, Shaun bumps like crazy and bleeds everywhere and Umaga is a beast who destroys everyone. If he didn't tragically die so young i think he would have been a huge star as he is very skilled for such a big man. He makes other big guys who are featured on this PPV like Visera and the great Khali look useless.

Seeing everyone hit their finishers in a row to eliminate him was a great moment.

Once Jeff Hardy enters the match he is on fire and the crowd goes mental.

Jeff deserved the win but sadly in the end it went to Triple H.

I went in to this movie expecting a Lord of the rings style fantasy action adventure but it isn't really like that at all. It's a modern retelling of the 14th century tale "Sir Gawain and the Green Knight" but whereas in the original poem Sir Gawain is honourable and valiant, here he is the complete opposite of that.

There are a lot of things to enjoy, it looks beautiful and has a dark and moody soundtrack and atmosphere. The effects are impressive with a few things i don't think i've seen done in a movie like this before. The cast is also great, Dev Patel, Alicia Vikander and Joel Edgerton are all excellent.

The reason i say this isn't for everyone is because it is kind of slow and it can be confusing because things aren't explained all that well. I'm not saying every movie has to be completely obvious but i think this movie gives too few easy answers. Not everyone is going to be willing to dig deeper.

The visuals and performances do carry the movie but i can definitely see a lot of people being very confused and not liking it at all.

After reading a full plot analysis i think i will appreciate it more on a second viewing. Hopefully other people who were unsure will do the same because i do think this is a good movie which deserves multiple watches.

I'm a little bit behind on WWE PPV's and i'd read that this years Rumble was terrible. I think people need to calm down because despite some bad booking this was a fine show.

Brock Lesnar VS Bobby Lashley for the WWE championship was excellent. I always enjoy watching Lesnar, it's just fun seeing him wreck dudes and Lashley is a beast. It was cool to see someone actually look like Lesnar's equal for a change.

Roman Reigns VS Seth Rollins was my match of the night. Seth shows again why he is one of the best wrestlers in the world and Regins is still an awesome powerhouse heel. I would have liked to see Rollins win this though because Roman's title reign needs to end.

The men's Rumble match was decent with pretty much everyone you can think of getting involved. Frustrating and annoying to see guys as talented as Shinsuke Nakamura and Bobby Roode getting eliminated so early and easily for seemingly no reason. Do the WWE bookers not listen to the massive crowd reaction these guys get?

I also wish they would stop having Lesnar make overwise powerful wrestlers look like geeks.

The women's Rumble match was good too but suffered from the same weird booking. Why was Sasha Banks out so soon yet jobbers like Niki Ash are in for most of the duration?

Becky Lynch VS Doudrop was terrible. Lynch is so good yet she struggled to get a decent match out of Doudrop, i'm sure she's a nice person in RL but she can not wrestle. Lynch VS Sasha Banks or Liv Morgan would have been so much better.

This does not deserve such a low score, i'd give it a solid 7/10.

An excellent performance by mark Wahlberg, i really enjoyed this movie.

Snappy profane dialogue which made me laugh out loud a few times, a great cast and although the movie isn't particularly action packed i was engaged the whole time. It shows how important is it to have a good script with characters who feel like real people.

This might not be the kind of movie you'd expect from Wahlberg and i really thought he should have been nominated for an Oscar that year, he was that good.

Definitely recommended.

Oliver Stone has directed some absolute classic movies such as Platoon, Wall Street and Natural Born killers so i went in to this with pretty high hopes.

It has a good cast, it looks great with a lot of vibrant colourful scenes and the action is genuinely thrilling and satisfyingly violent.

However i found the main characters to be pretty unlikeable. We are supposed to be behind Taylor Kitsch and Aaron Johnson's quest to rescue their girlfriend (It's a weird relationship) from the cartel but i was struggling to care for the most part.

They're drug dealers but the "nice" kind of movie drug dealers we are meant to care for because they don't shoot people. I like anti-heroes in movies but they were not interesting or cool enough to make it work.

It doesn't help that Johnson seems a bit out of his depth with some awkward acting and Blake Lively's narration is kind of cringe. Taylor Kitsch is decent though, i actually think he's pretty underrated as an actor.

Benicio del Toro is excellent though and he's the best part of the movie by far. I think i'd rather see a whole movie just about his character and his glorious mullet. John Travolta and Salma Hayek are solid as always.

Not a terrible movie just no where near as good as i was expecting from this director and cast.

Legendary movie hard man Chuck Norris is J. J. McQuade, a former marine and tough as nails Texas Ranger. He's so manly it almost comes across as parody.

He has an epic beard and hairy chest, he drinks beer all the time, his home is a mess and covered in guns and empty beer cans, he can spin kick a dude's head off while wearing jeans, he bangs a hot girl and he's a perfect shot when firing any kind of gun he gets his hands on.

McQuade is tasked with taking down an evil arms dealer played by David Carradine and his men are really bad guys who kill indiscriminately. After Carradine kidnaps McQuade's daughter, things get personal.

The movie is pretty much non stop action, it's relentless. The story is fine and easy to follow but the real focus is on the mayhem. Also the soundtrack sounds like it's come straight from a 1960's western.

The moment i knew this movie was for me was the scene where McQuade is buried underground in his truck. He wakes up, pours a beer over his head and rises from the grave like a redneck Lazarus!

Missing in action stars Chuck Norris as Colonel James Braddock, a US military officer trying to expose a conspiracy where the Vietnamese have been keeping American POW's captive for years after the war ended in secret prison camps.

With no one willing to help him he decides to go in alone and rescue the POW's.

It's a good set up for a B action flick but thanks to the low budget and tame action scenes it's not really all that exciting. It does have it's moments but i wouldn't go out of my way to watch it again.

The final climatic shootout was also pretty lame. There's a ton of shooting but no one seems to be able to aim and it features the slowest attack boat in cinema history. It reminded me of the scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail where John Cleese runs towards the camera but never actually gets any closer.

Chuck Norris plays hard as nails cop Eddie Cusack who's tasked with rescuing a pretty girl from a criminal gang and taking them down single-handedly.

This is pure 1980's action cop movie goodness with blood squibs, copious bad language and explosions.

There's a few character actors you'll recognise from a dozen other movies and Chuck is cool and confident.

The soundtrack was surprisingly good too with synths and nice sounding saxophones and funky guitars.

The action scenes aren't overly flashy which gives the movie a satisfying gritty feel especially during the final shootout where Chuck is blasting dudes to hell with a shotgun so if that sounds cool to you then check it out.

I liked it.

The reboot Star Trek movies have little in common with the old school tv show and movies apart from the basic concept and characters but they are very entertaining science fiction adventure movies with awesome special effects. Everything is so slick and modern feeling.

The cast is excellent especially Chris Pine, karl Urban and Zachary Quinto as Spock. Karl Urban is so funny and deadpan, i love his character.

The alien makeup is so well done i almost didn't realise the bad guy was played by Idris Elba until near the end and Sofia Boutella was great too.

This was such an easy watch and i will be seeing it again in the near future as well as the other two movies in the series.

A decent PPV, as always some excellent matches and a couple of stinkers.

Becky Lynch VS Charlotte Flair was great, in the storyline they absolutely hate each other and the pace and ferocity shown by both women in the match reflected that. Just 2 of the most talented female wrestlers in the world beating the hell out of each other.

The men's survivor series match was another highlight with a stacked lineup of some of WWE's best wrestlers including Seth Rollins, Jeff Hardy and Finn Balor. Lots of cool looking spots and big bumps.

RK-BRO VS The Uso's was a standard PPV tag match but was still decent and the main event of Big E VS Roman Reigns was the best match of the night. Roman is pretty overpowered by this point but Big E put up a great fight and took a ton of punishment.

The 25 man battle royal match was terrible. Too many men in the ring so you can't tell what was happening and seeing talented guys like Bobby Roode and Ricochet being jobbed out to someone as awful as Omos is just sad.

The women's Survivor Series match had a lot of talented wrestlers but the match was too slow, too long and low on drama. The crowd even performed a Mexican wave half way through. Shame because it could have been pretty cool.

Overall if you like the wrestlers featured this is a fun PPV to watch. Not a classic but it's worth it for the good matches.

This movie got some bad reviews when it came out but i really enjoyed it. It isn't up there with Lord of the rings but it's not bad at all.

I don't play the game so i know little about the lore and it is kind of goofy in parts but this was a fun action fantasy movie.

The CGI is pretty amazing, the orcs might be the best looking fully CG characters i've ever seen in a movie. There's a few scenes where the lighting was just right so they actually look like real living things, it's very impressive.

The story feels rushed as there are too many characters who aren't fleshed out enough but the effects are great, the acting is good and the action scenes are chaotic and exciting.

I like Ben Foster and Dominic Cooper so it's always cool to see them in big movies. Y'all know Paula Patton's sexy orc lady is someone's kink as well, some people were very happy.

This is a fun time and i want a sequel but i don't think there will be one which is a shame.

A decent show with some very enjoyable matches and a couple of duds.

The best match by far was Rollins VS Edge, it was awesome and well done to Edge for taking so many sick looking bumps with his history of neck problems.

Cena VS Roman Reigns was another highlight. Cena isn't going to come back to WWE full time at this point so it was obvious who was going to win but it was still a great match. Reigns is a great heel and he looks like a beast.

Becky Lynch's return was very cool as she's one of my favourites but it would have been good to see her have a proper match with Bianca Belair instead of beating her in 5 seconds. That was kind of lame.

Orton and Riddle VS AJ Styles and Omos was good too, it's hilarious to see Riddle marking out over Orton and his epic mustache.

Charlotte Flair VS Nikki A. S. H. VS Rhea Ripley was pretty good too with some dangerous looking spots and Charlotte winning made the most sense.

Alexa Bliss VS Eva Marie sucked and Bliss' gimmick is very dumb. I don't know what the appeal of it is supposed to be.

All in all this is a good time if you like modern era WWE, i'd give it a solid 7/10.