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Everything goes well for Larry!
I watched this movie and it was not too terrible, but at the same time it was not exactly all that good either. While watching this thing I kind of new the direction it was going and I was correct, but man, everything turns out good for Larry! I wish I could fantasize something and then learn something and then be showered with money, rewards and a very lovely caring lady in the end!

Meet Larry, as the story begins. He is having a tough time as he is desperate for money, his scholarship has been revoked and he is behind on rent! Well, he tries to pawn a watch and gets ripped off by a professor doing a little side hustle. So Larry decides to kill the man and steal his money! He does, but does he? He then meets a beautiful woman, gets money from publishing a paper and gets his scholarship. Seems Larry killed too soon, or did he? Honestly, it ends up being the whole, "It was all a dream" crap.

Larry is a bit of a prick at times, not sure what Eileen sees in him; granted, when she is Cathy he may be nicer as he is not being hounded by police for killing the professor. The cops do the Columbo thing even before Columbo in this thing and Larry just needs to learn patience or something.

In the real world, things do not work out well. My life sucks as I lost my fiance and now just go through days in a daze. Nothing has fallen into my lap and good things have never happened. Never murdered anyone though, maybe I should think about it and then afterwards everything will be peachy! NOT!!!


Adopting a child has never been easier...
I watched this film and it was the sort that just made me angry as the killer, a child, literally gets away with everything during the course of the movie and we get no satisfaction in the way of a good comeuppance! A film that just ticked me off. Meanwhile, that nice boy Jason Voorhees gets killed in every movie he is in and he is so much more likable than Mikey! This movie also makes one angry because the adults are portrayed so dumb and clueless that they are outwitted by a nine year old!?! Come on, man!

So, the story starts out with Mikey killing his family whom adopted him, drowning the little girl, electrocuting his mum and beating dad with a bat. The investigator seems suspicious, but a woman with child protective services whisks the boy away and he is adopted immediately again flying in the face of adopting agencies actual procedures. Granted, somehow the boy records himself battering his dad and this tape remains in the boy's possession without anyone watching it such as the police investigating a crime. Well, Mikey likes his new family until he doesn't and soon he is killing again, but seriously, he is easily pushed down, but the mother being attacked just kind of goes to the kitchen letting him get to her again, then pushes down. The teacher was just plan asinine, as he shots her with a slingshot. A giant metal ball, I could have plucked the thing out of the air and threw it back at the kid!

So the film is not my cup of tea. This kid is horrible, the only thing you want to see is this kid dead and they do not give us the satisfaction! Also, having him fall so in love with the neighbor girl was a bit icky and unrealistic as a nine year old rarely gets that infatuated with a girl to the point of trying to tape her nude. I could see where the film was going at the end, but I just crossed my fingers and hoped someone would punch Mikey and make him fall to the ground and hemorrhage from his cracked skull!

So, in the end, not my type of movie as I want to see the killer get his. I guess I can say the person playing Mikey did a good job as I did not like him! I watch a Friday the thirteenth and have to watch poor Jason die again after valiantly killing horrible teenagers, but I do not get to see this kid get it? So unfair! I am unsure if there is a sequel, but I am guessing no. Someone mentioned that this film does sort of play out like Stepfather and I do concur, I just hope if there was another one that the kid was run over with a bulldozer or something!

Super Neptunia RPG

Funny story, but the combat needed work.
This game is sort of a role playing game, but of the side scrolling type. Kind of like those Castlevania games or one called Indivisible which this one shares a good many features with. The story is very lighthearted and tends to be on the humorous side; however, the game's combat is a bit repetitive and simply takes too long. I mean, you never are in any danger of dying as you just have to set the girls up right and you will literally auto heal the entire time!

So, the story has Neptune waking up with no memories in a vacant house. She is soon recruited by this organization which turns out to be the bad guys. Neptune though just wants some pudding, but she is soon made aware who the bad guys are and works for the resistance as the bad guys outlaw 3d games and only allow 2d games to be played. Their leader, the dastardly Filyn! Who does not seem all that evil and is very childlike. Neptune soon finds others to help her in Noire, Blanc, Verte and Chrome as they try to stop the evil organization and bring 3d games back into the world!

The game play is very much like Indivisible as you get to do some platforming and stuff. The combat would be better if it were more like that in Indivisible, however, it is more basic and the number of commands limited and you simply attack and attack and it does get a bit tiring. Lots of stuff to do though as there are lots of quests and it is a game that is an easy platinum trophy for PS4.

So, I would have enjoyed it immensely more if the combat was a bit more fast past or been more of a traditional turn based style one expects from a RPG game. Not sure about other Neptunia games and how the combat is, but if the stories are as humorous and fun as this one I would give them a shot.

Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business

Watch as Jean's replacement continues to be devoid of charisma or personality...
I will say this film was a bit better than Brothers In Arms, but not much better. I mean, there is a bit more action in this one and there are a couple of interesting plot points, but overall, still not very good and still very generic feeling. Which of course makes sense, you take away the star from the first film and replace them with a guy that looks nothing like the original guy, sounds nothing like him and acts nothing like him of course it is going to come off as a cheap knockoff.

The story to its credit picks up where the second left off. I mean, I have seen sequels that seem to completely ignore its predecessor before. Big budget films like Ghost Rider and smaller films like Max Havoc have done this. Well, GR 44 and reporter go to a building that is hijacked by a group having nothing to do with the Unisol program. GR 44 takes care of this and then finds out his parents are dead while the one scientist from the previous film raises a clone and Burt Reynolds still uses a horrible Irish accent. All this leads to a pointless reunion and a very inconclusive and tepid resolution that leaves things even more unfinished!

The star from the last movie is back and he is totally bland yet again. Being around people has not helped at all! The reporter girl is not much better and Burt is bad too. Makes me wish they had brought Busey back as he may be crazy, but he adds some flair and emotion!

So, if you wish to see how this thing progresses and hope for a resolution, I would warn you that there is no resolution. I am pretty sure this is the last one of these and yet they left things wide open for another sequel. Never assume you are going to have a sequel unless you are already filming the thing, nothing worse than an open ended movie.

Vandal Hearts

Pretty good strategy RPG from Konomi.
I played this game back in the day and have played it just recently and it is a pretty fun RPG game. It is not very long; however, as there are several RPG games on older systems that last longer, but still it is kind of nice to be done with a game in under 20 hours considering all the games these days that can take 100 plus hours! This one is very similar to other strategy RPG games like Fire Emblem and Shining Force with a slight difference in class upgrading, but this is how I generally like my strategy RPG games so no complaints there.

The.story, a land is rife with tension as there is civil unrest as Hel tries to rule the land. Ash Lambert must go out trying to find a missing general and soon has a very imposing force that must rid the land of evil and a weapon known as the flames of judgement.

The game play is one where you can go to a store, talk in a bar and upgrade your character and then head into a battle which is usually preceded and followed by a cut scene. The combat has you and your opponent alternating turns as your forces duke it out, though at times you have to complete the mission in a certain number of turns or deal with stipulations. When you lose a person they just leave the battlefield and come back during the next battle, unlike Fire Emblem where they are dead forever! There is a pretty sizable force under your control and you do not have to worry about substituting as you carry the same party into every battle.

So a very fun game, could be longer, but hey, it does not overstay its welcome I guess. It is pretty easy to power up your team and certain characters you can pick which class they change into. The ending is a bit of a downer, but I suspect there may be another ending as there are things you can give to the guy who upgrades you and he will teleport you to another world to do a battle, but I only found one of the items. I may look up and see if I can get a better ending one day as the game is a very fun strategy RPG.

Jurassic Shark

Makes those Italian shark movies of the 80's look Oscar worthy by comparison.
Shark movies, there are a lot of them. With the exception of maybe four or five of them though, most of them are bad. This one has come along to say, "Hold my beer!" in terms of being bad. I have seen shark movies from Italy that look incredible compared to this, the sharks of Sharknado even look incredibly realistic compared to this and the acting in that one is a million times better. This thing was just so bad, from the awful location, the bad acting and the horrible star of the film, Jurassic shark!

The story, over complicated to a fault. People are digging or something, something explodes and a giant shark is released! In a lake, that is so obviously not deserted as one can see sailboats in the distance. Girls killed then we get art robbers who get attacked and drop their prized painting into the lake and for some reason keep wanting to send people in after it despite the fact water ruins paintings... Well another car load of girls and a dude comes along and they too get attack. Soon they are walking through a forest which takes forever, the only thing that takes longer sadly are the end credits.

You get bikini clad gals, but they are all kind of bland and frumpy. Then you have the bad old art heist people who are so smart but fail to realize that painting was done for the moment it fell out of the boat. Then you have the shark, who they made a meg for no good reason as they thing was not very big in most shots. You get to see a whole lot of not much in this thing as the shark attacks are few and far between and it is not even all that fun a film, like they were trying to be serious when they should have been making an adult film or anything else...

So, watch people walk through the woods forever, watch the end credits and you probably have 30 minutes of the runtime right there! Throw in Great Value Vin Diesel and Wednesday Addams along with whiny girls and a poor kid you thought would be a romantic plot, but who gets eaten rather quickly and you have one bad shark movie and not Shaft bad either, talking about the turd kind of bad as this thing just stinks!

A Dangerous Man

Bad guys, guns, martial arts betrayal...
...this Steven Seagal film has it all, so much all that it borders on too much. Let me rephrase that, it is too much, too much of everything! The filmmakers also used too much editing in this one, but that can be forgiven as they are trying to make an old fat dude look like he can still fight. That's movie magic! Meanwhile, we have to watch a film where we see lots of guns shooting and Steven ending up with a girl I did not want to see him end up with...

The story, well, Steven is a dangerous man, convicted of killing a man and then released from prison because he did not do it. So he is a tad bitter and we see that almost immediately as he stabs a man who tries to rob him with his gun multiple times to the point the guy probably died. He then ends up setting a rag on fire as a cop pulls over the wrong people and gets killed and another guy's friend died while the lighting of the rag and then Steven is kicking but and revealing a girl in the trunk like in Transporter and soon we get the Chinese mafia, the Russian mafia and crooked cops battling for money, the girl and an uncle whose job as an accountant...

Steven Seagal used to be pretty good back in the day with his three word titled action flicks! This three titled action flick is a bit beyond his scope and he seems kind of reluctant to be in the thing. Like he actually committed a crime and this is his sentence! The girl in this thing is really cute and so does not look like she should end up with Seagal at the end, I was expecting her to end up with the Russian mafia guy's son, but no, they went the creepy route...

So we get shooting galore in this thing and when the bullets run out the editor had to edit the film with a Cuisinart to.make Steven look good. The poor stuntmen had a bad day too as they had to throw themselves into furniture constantly to make Steven look good! Which makes the movie just not that good as the man is old now, I expect him to have a fight and have some trouble rather than having no trouble whatsoever!

Gemini Home Entertainment

Bizarre, creepy and a very entertaining watch!
I watched this along with two other movies deemed to be 'analog' horror, the other two being Local 58 and The Mandela Catalog. I enjoyed all three, but out of the three this one was my favorite as it was the longest of the bunch and it told such a creepy and insane story! Told in the form of videos that were at times instructional, at times advertisements and also simply informative.

The story is told in different ways each episode. Each episode sort of had its own theme to it. The first starts out as a video looking at wildlife, before getting totally creepy. The gist of this series is that there is something called 'woodcrawlers' that can take over a person, there also seems to be something horrific among the stars as well. Very good imagery within this thing as it does seem to have a budget behind it.

So many of the episodes were good, the last two though have some really disturbing and scary images. I salute the maker or makers of this series. They managed to create a strange threat and what seems to be an impending doom!

So, I did enjoy this one the most of the three I watched fully. I tried to watch the Walton Files, but that one did not work for me as it combined animation with live action in a way that kind of took me out of the mood. This one was just so entertaining and every episode gives you a different take on the terror that is apparently spreading rapidly through the world!

The Mandela Catalogue

Some genuinely creepy stuff.
A colleague at work suggested watching the horror known as 'analog' horror and this was one of the ones he suggested I watch. The first one I watched was Local 58 and I have to say I enjoyed it a bit more than this one, but this one had some moments that totally caught me by surprise and were very creepy. I must admit I also have freaked myself out a few times thinking of these as the beings in this thing known as alternates remind me of another tormentor the shadow people.

The story is a bit strange as I had a bit of a time figuring out which order to watch these things. I thought I had seen them all, then realized I missed a couple! I totally missed the first one with the religious short played and it was among the most spooky. Seems some force is invading Mandela County and it is taking the children and is enough to drive a person to madness and suicide! This is played out using old cartoons, strange messages and also phone calls and such.

The reason I prefer Local 58 is that it was a bit easier to get from point A to point B. This one has more creepy moments, but it also has some cringe moments as some of the people present are not doing very good at acting. Still, it was enjoyable and had more to it than Local 58 so definitely worth a look see.

So while this one had some things I thought that could be better and things made a bit easier it also left one feeling a sense of dread too. Funny how a lot of horror shorts you find on Youtube are much better than the stuff Hollywood churns out, but that is just the way it is. This is no exception as i would be absolutely horrified to see some of the stuff presented here staring at me when I awakened from a sound sleep!

Local 58

Creepy short videos simulating a local television during late night.
A colleague at work suggested I watch this as he thought the type of horror present would appeal to me and he suggested others as well. This was my kind of thing as it told a story in an unconventional way, through a new horror trope dubbed 'analog horror'. This one uses things such as the final broadcast of the night and strange late night programming to tell a story that is downright creepy!

The story, well, there it one but discussing it would kind of ruin things. Suffice to say, seems something is going on with the moon as strange messages, cartoons and stargazing shows flesh out during the duration of only 8 episodes. Seriously worth checking out though as it takes maybe fifteen minutes to get through it. My favorite episode had to be the stargazing one though, that one started so mundanely and got the most intense!

This new form of horror is pretty neat; granted, I have only seen this one, The Mandela Catalogs and Gemini Videos fully. I tried to do the Walton Files which is rated highly here, but it just did not work for me at all and I could not get into it. Then again, I've never found the mechanical creatures at a Showbiz pizza scary in the least. This is the one that kind of set the trend and I liked it a lot, though Gemini is my fave only because there are more episodes and it is longer. This one hopefully continues because I want to learn more about what is going on.

So, a very good short horror series, I find it odd that a lot of time it is the short horror films that you find on Youtube much more scary than anything that Hollywood spits out these days. There is just something about the way they are presented and the fact they usually do take the time to bring you a very disturbing image within the usually short running time.

Rapid Assault

Not very rapid, but there are lots of assaults!
This movie is brought to us by Fred Olen Ray who makes bad movies; however, oftentimes those bad movies are fun to watch and this film is no exception. So many things in this film do not jive as I am pretty sure if a sea lab were abandoned, it would be filled with water and a reef, but heck, you get to see the main action guy with a cool name kick some butt while saying shoot the nukes!

The story, heck, does it matter? A terrorist organization is developing a biological weapon. Their plan is to disperse this weapon in the ocean, in an abyss...something tells me the good guys really did not have to do anything as the canister was small, it would be akin to chucking a coke in the ocean, it is going to be so spread out it will be rendered harmless...but that does not stop the good guys from somehow getting aboard an underwater lab which should be extremely easy to defend! The place is huge too, almost like a factory and not a underwater lab at all...

The film stars a bunch of people you will probably think you have seen before and probably have in other movies done by Fred Olen Ray, a man that says, "Give me a factory and I will give you a movie!" Okay, just guessing he says this.

So, it was not a good film at all, but I have seen worse. I mean, it looks like a movie, it is not like one of those movies that looks like it is shot with a camcorder so it has that going for it. It does feature so many absurd moments that it is kind of fun to watch and laugh at. I mean, the female lead in this literally balks at getting undressed to put on a scuba suit even though there is only a little bit of time before nukes hit the place... So yeah, a lot of fun to be had in this bad movie!

The Happening

Don't be eyeing anyone's lemon drink, you hear!?!
I thought this film may be good for reasons that are now forgotten by me. I mean, the director M. Night's previous movie I watched was not very good (The Village) and the one before this one was considered bad as well. Also, this film stars Mark Wahlberg who I have never seen a movie of his I enjoyed! Combine this with Zoey of the vacant stare and dead eyes and why did I think this thing would be anything but bad? Then the whole reason behind what is going on is absurd as are some of the deaths, stuff one tends to see in a funny Monty Python sketch! Seriously, not sure why it has a five here, unless the people who are enjoying it think of it as a black comedy, then it sort of works...

The story, well people start dropping off buildings and stabbing themselves. Must be a chemical attack! Because you know, there is some chemical that can make a person become confused, then walk backwards and then perform sometimes very elaborate suicides...NOT!!! I was thinking when watching the trailers something perhaps supernatural was going on, but yes, it all boils down to chemicals the vegetation is producing. Makes you all confused and unable to move properly, but have no trouble revving up a lawnmower and lying in front of it. Our 'hero' Marky Mark who wears the same expression the entire film. We get to watch him and his wife drag a girl around, get two young boys killed and get conseuling from John Leguizamo who had to be glad he was only in this thing for 20 minutes of screen time...Meanwhile, we get to see some deaths, but while watching dude explore house there were probably people driving cars into shark tanks and dying in all sorts of strange and entertaining ways!

As I said, Mark is pretty bland here, but I think that is his trademark. Same with Zooey, we get to watch two of the most unlikable people try to survive this thing, this happening! Meanwhile, both the main actors and the plot are at times overshadowed by randomly encountered people like really strange looking dude who really likes hotdogs and crazed, mean old lady who has her lemon drink! Seriously, there could have been a whole movie just about her!

The movie kind of reminds me of the War of the Worlds with Tom Cruise from 2005. Basically, you have a totally interesting event happening, but we are forced to watch the film from one very small perspective only in this one the characters are less likable and the event less plausible. M. Night would go on to have a bit of success after this with a couple of films and a couple of busts, not sure if this is the low point, or Lady in the Water or The Last Airbender, but heck who hasn't gotten some bumps in the road. In the end, it was bad, but honestly I should have known it was going to be bad when the main selling point of this film was that it was M's first rated R film...

The Batman

Nice to see Batman being a detective more.
Batman has had lots of movies through the years and he did a bit of detective work, but not much. So this movie obviously wanted to showcase this ability of The Batman and it does so very well having a very good set of villains as this Riddler is much more what I am used to in the comics, the Penguin is not some mutated dude raised by penguins and corruption is the key to everything. We get a new Batman in Robert Pattison and he does a very good job, more dark and brooding and without all the growling and shouting of Bale's. The movie is dark and just very interesting as it truly had me wondering who and what was the endgame. However, there is action, so do not let people try to say that the film is absent of some good old punching!

The story, key political figures are being dispatched, first it is the mayor. The person responsible leaves chilling riddles behind and seems to be taking an interest in Batman who is already Batman so no origin story here. Batman is already working with Gordon and looks over the crime scene. Soon things start to point to this person or that and even Bruce's father may have a part in it as the Riddler's game turns out to be even more heinous than even Batman could guess!

Pattison was very good as Batman, he was not super muscular like the Batman in the comics, but really the only guy who pumped up for the role was Ben Affleck's Batman. I would put Robert in a tie with Bale in second as they both look fit, but not really jacked up. Colin is great as the Penguin and I was totally surprised to find Andy Serkis was Alfred. I kept thinking I know him from somewhere, but I guess I just did not think of the actor as old enough to be Alfred. Zoe Kravitz is a rather good Catwoman, not quite Michelle's but better than the one from Rising. The Batmobile I rather liked, like the Batmobile fused with Mad Max's vehicle!

So, this film was good, I would say it is my fave Batman, but one always tends to fall in love with something when they see it for the first time, so I'll hold judgement. I am very curious to see where this is going and if they team up who I think they are going to team up, that would be really cool. I definitely think Robert can do the job, was not a fan of Twilight, but come on, everyone has to get their start somewhere, and he was so dark in this film, most will forget that he ever sparkled.

Max Havoc: Ring of Fire

A step down from the first film...
In the 60's and 70's sequels would often get a smaller budget so they would become worse with each movie. There were exceptions, but that was generally the rule. Then in the 80's and 90's things changed as sequels often outperformed their predecessors so sequels began to get bigger budgets and tried to outdo the previous film. Well this film was kicking it old school as they certainly took a step down in every way they could! It also feels like a sequel that is not really a sequel and tries to have a really cool title, but after you watch it you think, there wasn't much going on in this one. And this time there are no beaches full of beautiful people to look at, no, we get Seattle, or a very poor representation of Seattle. I mean, according to this film Seattle consists of a big pipe tunnel, a fancy hotel, a very old looking district and an orphanage...

The story, well Max has apparently ditched the girl from the previous film, making me think they were trying to go with a whole James Bond type vibe with this series giving him a new love interest in each film. Here it is a tennis player he is doing a shoot with, and what a better place to have a shoot with a tennis player than fake Seattle! Well, bad guys want to take over this area and build it up for tourism led by Dean Cain sporting blond hair, and you may think he looks like a joke, but as a hotel manager he is apparently more dangerous than the Japanese mob from the first film!

So, this film is pretty bad, as the location is horrible as Seattle does not look anything like what they have here. The fish market consists of more than one guy and the way to get property is buying it. Why is Dean Cain murdering people and destroying things when I know he could of gotten that boathouse area for a song.

So everything here is less impressive. We go from a tropical paradise to blah, we go from Japanese mob to teens in beanies and the Superman from the lousy Louis and Clark television series and Max goes from a super attractive owner of a junk shop to just a very attractive tennis player who does not actually play any tennis...okay, that one was less a step down than the villains and location. I can understand why they stopped making this as the name Max Havoc promises action, but all you get is some martial arts fighting and not much else here, not even a decent chase. Oh wait, Max did have to chase down a kid which he should have easily overtaken being an athlete with a much larger stride than a child!

The Room

Watch a film about way more than a room...
With a title of "The Room" I honestly would expect more of a horror film. This is not a horror film though, but with all the icky sex scenes one could consider it one. This film apparently one some sort of award, I am guessing that the people who gave this film the award thought this was a comedy as hearing the main characters awful accent with him saying, "Oh hi, doggy" would lead me to the same conclusion. That being said, I did feel a bit sorry for the main character as Lisa was pretty much a horrible person and quite frankly the dating scene is just full of Lisa's these days.

The story, guy is going to marry his fiance soon. However, she is bored so she starts a fling with the guy's best friend. Her mother is also found to have breast cancer which she reacts to in a very matter of fact way while the boys play football on a roof and Denny has been buying drugs to sell, while the best friend literally acts clueless every time Lisa, the fiance seduces him and Johnny likes to buy flowers and no Johnny! Put the gun down!

The film is just crazy and it has so many problems such as a moment at a party when it seems you see the exact same scene play out twice with differing results. Seems Johnny and Mark are going to come to blows, but shake and then Johnny and Lisa are going to go outside to talk things out. Then it seems to rewind (not on purpose mind you) and Mark and Lisa are flagrantly making out and Mark and Johnny come to blows. I am like, "was there something I missed?"

So, it was bad, but enjoyable in a strange way. I totally felt for Johnny as he was unattractive and looked strange, but no one deserves the treatment he got from Lisa. Just starting stuff because she was bored and playing both sides for her amusement. So many women like her these days acting like they are some rare commodity or something. They literally outnumber men in this country, but get a big head because some guys will have sex with anything. So kudos to Lisa for being the worst person in the film! I think that drug dealer was a more likable character!

Beware! The Blob

I enjoy this goofy sequel.
This is a film to not take seriously, but to sit back and enjoy. I honestly enjoy it better than the original film, as I never really cared for the original. Too many teens who are not teens trying to warn people with not all that much blob. Here it gets shown off a lot though sometimes it looks good and others not so much. Still, it is a film that is not taking itself seriously and is just so random that I find it a fun movie.

The story, for reasons unknown a scene where they accidentally unearth the original blob was cut, so instead we get to see a kitten frolic in the grass! Anyways, seems a guy was in the arctic doing research and he got a sample of something he found, oops! His wife has accidentally thawed it out and it is hungry! The first few attacks are really good as the kitten gets it first, then the wife and then the husband. Too bad they kind of went light on most of the kills thereafter using more point of view and quick shots. A girl watches the husband die and gets her boyfriend and of course, people think she is crazy as the blob begins its rampage killing hippies, doggies and sending naked Russian men into the streets! Okay, just one! It all heads to a finale at a bowling alley that is a pretty good finish for the film and seems a bit tighter than the rest of the film.

The cast has a lot of faces you will recognize within it and the characters that are portrayed are likeable enough. I liked the lead guy, sort of reminded me of Majore Gortner a bit and the lead girl was good too. I also liked the sheriff who was a bit clueless. You also get very small parts for notable actors so it is kind of fun trying to catch them all.

So the film is more comedy than horror, but I still enjoyed it. Like I said, the first blob I found to be boring while this one as random as it was, felt more entertaining. The remake from 1988 though I think is the best of the bunch as it boasted better effects and had lots of gore and was way more of a horror film. This one was just a groovy film that just shouted 70's tackiness! I also really enjoyed the death of the dude in the gorilla costume, I just wish I could have watched him suffer!

The Retrievers

Almost sounds like the title to a generic Lab dog film...
This film is odd, but entertaining in an amusing way as there is quite a bit of carnage and then the film will shift tones and almost be comedic in nature. Kids being shot and then fat guy cannot quite climb. Guy getting his head blown off at close range, fat guy accidentally punches his buddy out amidst a fight! That is the type of stuff this film was delivering as it seemed to want to be a super violent film at times and at others a bit more lighthearted...

The story, a group of mercenaries breaks into a house and grabs a older man while gunning down the family. I am assuming the guy who said 'no' is the one who later shows up at a house with plans to publish a book to expose the evil deviants...all through the movie I kept thinking, "wouldn't taking your story to a newspaper or a news program be more successful?" Anyhow, they go in and get him, but one of the guys doesn't care too much for this new job and soon he and the guy's who has written the book and is captured sister flees trying to evade the deadly organization of people in suits who like to scream when kicking! We get publishers fighting, we get dips in the pool (why is a fight always over when people fall into a pool in a movie, is getting out never an option?) and we get recruitment, joint smoking we get it all! We also get a fairly weak final stand off...

The cast is largely not one I recognize, the lead guy kind of looks like Jan Michael Vincent, but isn't and the reporter looks like Loni Anderson, but isn't, but no one I have seen a lot of.

So, not a really good film and it does go all over the place, but still, it was a fun watch. Actually had some good kills in it, but at the same time the strange shifts were so out of place at times. The lead guy's girlfriend is killed and the next thing you know he is having a montage out of nowhere with the sister! The film will keep you on your toes with all the tone shifts!


An ambitious movie that really falls kind of flat...
You can tell whoever made this wanted something big, something on the scale of a Lord of the Rings type film, but with some modern settings; however, it fails. This is probably due to a lack of budget as most of the effects are none too good as the dinosaurs from the 1993 Jurassic Park look more alive. Then again, as fake as the dragons look, they feel more real than the actors performances in this thing. I also get the feeling the makers just wanted to get to the rampaging as there are just so many characters relegated to seemingly important plot points but with no backstory! They just appear and do stuff to advance the plot and vanish like the wind!

The story, two dragons need to eat one particular girl to become more powerful! One is evil and one is good. A news reporter sees something that triggers a flashback that triggers another flashback and we learn of the tragic and stupid tale. The reporter who is played by a guy that was probably voted most bland man of the year in 2007 then must find the girl who makes Kristen Stewart during her Twilight run look Oscar worthy and he must grab her by the arm and pull her as a big snake like dragon comes after them! We then get an attack on L. A. before going to the set of Mortal Kombat II for the finish!

The effects at time look okay, but even when it looks like all this awesome stuff is happening and there is devastation the buildings look absolutely fine underneath. It is like you see debris flying everywhere, but no actual damage. The acting is beyond subpar and as I said, so many characters popping up with virtually no story, like the doctor and the hypnosis which accomplished nothing.

The movie had some entertaining moments within it, too bad they could not do a bit better with the technical stuff and get better actors. I am unclear why they chose to film this in L. A. rather than somewhere in Korea, it would have been nice if the lead guy was not so useless as his former self was way more cool.


Did whoever wrote the story line description actually watch the film?
Let me start by saying that the story line given here on IMDB is completely wrong. There is a heavy metal musician, there is a succubus; however there is no deal made to make the guy more successful with women. In fact, the dude has a hot girlfriend, I actually do not have a clue why he does what he does as the succubus is played by someone attractive, but not hot enough to be a succubus! I was actually going to give this thing a higher score too as I was wondering why the score was so low; granted, not super high, maybe a five, then then the ending hits and it is such a lame cop out ending I dropped my score two points because of it!

The story, well, it does not set things up very well as the movie seems to be in a rush to get started. Guy has dream of semi hot girl, scratches his back. He has a hot girlfriend who is better looking than the succubus and I see a fatal flaw with the movie. Girlfriend is having a college party so her sister can impress a sorority. Guy summons evil succubus and she turns up at the part where she just kind of kills slasher style and not very supernatural at all, though a couple of people seem to rise from the dead, but then the ending just baffles you and then a tacked on ending makes you want to punch the makers of the film...

The makers of the this film had something as I chuckled at a couple of the jokes, kind of enjoyed the way the film was going, but they obviously did not know how to end it. Also, a succubus has sex with men and if they kill the guy it is because they are draining them of their life, they are not knife wielding slashers!

So, improvements that could have helped, the lead guy should have been single as why would a guy with a girlfriend that was doing it with him even need a sexual demon! The succubus needed to be hotter, something hard to resist. The woman here was alright, but I sure would not fall under her trance and kill for her. Have a real ending, nothing sucks more than an ending like the one presented here. It had its moments, its gore, not quite enough female nudity for a movie about a succubus...but all in all it was also disappointing as that ending was one of the worst endings I have ever seen!


Some semi decent stop motion and gore and a very incoherent plot...
I am kind of baffled as to why this film has a 4.7 rating on here, I am guessing people who rate this highly are doing so because while this thing is completely awful there is entertainment to be had! It also makes one try to figure out the plot themselves as the first portion of the film is very disjointed and this film also seems to be one of those films that was filmed over the course of many years probably weekend shoots here and there. So you can also try to spot different era vehicles or play a drinking game where you have to take a swig every time someone's hair style changes mid scene! Bad, but a fun bad...

The story starts out with a bizarre dream sequence and something happening. Then we focus on rangers in a shed that looks suspiciously like the library set and the lodge set. Monsters are killing people and the man who holds the key puts on an annoying record with an annoying song, proceeds to dance and then his head catches on fire. Meanwhile, stop motion creatures run amok such as super chicken, weird bear thing, lizard thing and so many more.

The cast is of course not very good. You have the hero whose mustache changes throughout the course of the film. You have his partner who wears his sunglasses at night so you know he is cool. You have nondescript woman ranger who comes and goes like the wind and creepy lodge manager who yells a lot! Oh yeah, cannot forget the guy who owns a souvenir shop who does not seem all that important at first, but is also a hero of the tale and who keeps a very strange object in a box with his sacred tooth...

Once again, this film is awful. If you are not into making fun of stuff like this or seeing really bad films stay away at all costs! Not saying it is the worst film ever as I did like the stop motion effects, but the thing does not have a good story, the acting is bad and the editing will give you whiplash! Probably one of the reasons I enjoyed watching it, but I am not giving it a high score just because of enjoyment, I rate based on technical aspects and if it is not good I am scoring it low even if it was kind of fun.

Ôgon no taiyô: Hirakareshi fûin

Finally won this thing!
I got this game back in the day when it first came out. For reasons I cannot quite remember (it was 20 years in-between plays) I never finished the game the first time around. Then I learned that the game was not complete and I was never able to get my hands on the second part so I just never finished. That is until now, since I have gotten an emulator that has both this one and the second one in it. Not sure why the game was split into two parts as while the graphics are pretty good, there are not several cut scenes or anything that should make containing it on one cart difficult. Still, this one was fun, but man the story leaves one hanging.

The story has a town where one night a boulder begins to make its way to the village, adepts hold it back using their powers, but it eventually rampages the village and a girl's brother and parents are killed and the hero of the game loses his father. After awhile they enter the forbidden sanctuary and embark on a quest as villains have kidnapped the girl and Issac and his friend Garret must leave the only village they have ever known in pursuit. They will meet two other's with special powers Mia and Ivan as they travel to this lighthouses where the villains try to activate them for reasons not known to us.

The combat in this one is pretty fun as it is turned based, but you get to assign these creatures called Djinn to each character which boosts attack, gifts the characters with magic and can be summoned to perform super powerful attacks. You also have to use powers such as mind reading, reveal, move and lift among others to make your way through many obstacles along the way. It makes for some difficult puzzles at times, but not too bad. This game does the standard overhead map and entering towns, forests and caves which I like as I have yet to play a game that does not have the overhead map where the world feels all that big.

So, it was cool finally getting through this thing. It was much easier to do on my television rather than on the Gameboy Advanced suffice to say. Really helped me see things easier. I got to the Colosso tournament the first time, and as it turns out, that is pretty much near the end of the game. I think I got flustered during the tournament and forgot to save or something. Anyways, a fun RPG game that I would have preferred simply been whole when I got it, but at least now I do have access to the second part as I am curious to see where the story goes.

Fugitive Rage

Woman versus Italian mob sterotypes!
Was not sure what to expect, I was thinking it would be more of a trashy woman's prison film, but turns out it is more of an assassin type film with some sleaze here and there (the mob boss had the best bath toy one could ever hope for!) Still, not really a good film, but it was entertaining in its own way. Could have used a bit more action, then again, the lead girl was not exactly believable as a badass type...

The story, woman shoots a dude who just received a not guilty verdict and hits him point blank six times. She is sent to prison and he lives. Well she is offered a deal to shoot him again which she declines until she realizes that the mob guy is still trying to get her, so she accepts and soon she is at a safe house while numerous pointless scenes ensue and before long we get to the shootout at the end where she exhibits very poor stealth, but it is all good as the bad guys are worse at shooting than Stormtroopers...

The only actor of note in this thing is Ross Hagen who used to be in a lot of B movies in the 60's and 70's. I think of him as kind of a gravely voiced generic Steve McQueen. He is usually pretty good though in what he is in and heightens lowly films to be a bit better. The lead actress is pretty cute, but the nurse the mob boss had was too cute, and her death a bit too confusing...

So, not a good film, but better than one might think as it was made by Fred Olen Ray. He generally puts in a lot of sleaze and he does so here, but not so good on the bloodshed. The plot needed work too as I did not see the point of the main girl staying at the safe house rather than just going after the mob boss. Still, it passes the time and you get to see some nice looking ladies.

Yesterday's Target

It's as if Terminator and X-men had an unholy baby!
This film was obviously doing an X-men thing without having to buy the rights to the famous superhero team. They just threw the time traveling stuff as a bonus. What we get could have worked, but they apparently did not work with the script much as it sort of never really goes anywhere or explains anything. Maybe this thing was supposed to be a pilot for a television show, but it literally tells the viewers as little as possible on its way to its tepid conclusion.

The story, we see some stuff and then a man and a woman walking about and not looking too good. Three years later, Urkel named Roland here draws bad pictures that another man somehow is able to figure out who they are. He contacts a man who exhibits telekinetic powers. Then he finds a woman with the ability to see ever so briefly into the future and then a guy with pyro-kinetic powers. And thus the Y-men are born to combat all those who would deny the next step in human evolution, or something, it really makes no sense as there are two organizations and by the end of the movie I still didn't know what either ones purpose was...

We get a pretty strange cast as Levar Burton is the bad guy, doesn't really work. Malcolm McDowell as a sort of bad guy and Daniel Baldwin as a rather unlikable hero...well that is not fair, not too many likable characters in this film at all and that is probably more due to the crummy script which seemed like they wanted to do something cool, but could not figure how to bring it all home.

So, totally not a good movie as it seems like it wanted to be more, but failed to do so. Not sure if they planned for this to be a series as so many things are left vague, but then again the film ends with everything sort of being done. I just think they were trying to do an X-men film as they have so many elements one finds in their comics, but they were doing it on the cheap.

Amityville Horror: The Evil Escapes

It's a lamp...
Yes, nothing like that house from Amityville with the windows that look like eyes...well, forget about that house as it is not where the problem is this time. No, this time it is in that lamp that is so unforgettable. Okay, I have never seen the lamp in this thing present in any of the previous Amityville films, but it sure is really tacky.

The story, priests wipe out the evil in the old Amityville house, one of the priests, a younger one gets flung against a wall as he stares upon the lamp. Well, the priests declare the evil gone so the owner immediately has a yard sale and a woman who likes to buy garish gifts for her sister as gifts buys the lamp, cuts her finger on it and has a bit of trouble herself. The main brunt of the story is when a family dealing with the death of the husband arrives at grandma's the same time the lamp does and soon things begin happening and grandma believes it is the kids, but soon they figure out it is the lamp! Also, there is a dead plumber in the basement that is never discovered, poor guy...

The cast is typical for an Amityville movie with the exception of Patty Duke as the mother and man is she short! Her youngest daughter is about the same height as her! The boy looks weird and the oldest daughter is sort of in the movie, but not really integral to the plot. She does get to flirt with a boy before he loses his whole hand to a disposal...

So, this film pretty much does what a lot of the series did after the first three films, try to be gimmicky. Here it is a lamp, there is also one about a clock and a dollhouse. It all boils down to trying to use the fact that there were some happenings at the house, but most people figure it was all manufactured to get some money. Still, some of the films are entertaining.

No Retreat No Surrender

Almost good, but the film seemed to lack focus...
I watched this film and it had some good points to it as the fight scenes were pretty good and there was some good moments making you root for the hero. At the same time, the film seemed to be almost a parody or just simply got lazy as love interests come out of literally nowhere and some of the acting is a bit over the top. Meanwhile, people you expect to get their comeuppance never do and the big fight at the end gets reduced to something you would expect in an overbooked WWE match, not a karate tournament...

The story, well lets face it, is all over the place. The story focuses on the protagonist for most of the film, but at times forgets about him entirely. Mob guys are trying to take over karate schools, because those must be worth millions! Not really, the buildings these schools rent are probably worth more, why the heck would the mob bother? Who cares, a Russian hurts the hero's dad's knee and so they move to Seattle where the hero runs afoul of bullies and loves a girl we never meet until her birthday party where the hero is disgraced again. All is okay though as the ghost of Bruce Lee teaches the hero the martial arts and then he is forgotten as a school must duke it out with Jean Claude Van Damme! Told you, this thing shifts a lot!

The lead guy is likable enough and the bullies you want to see get beaten up bad! Too bad they set these guys up as awful jerks and then they never get any sort of comeuppance from the hero, though a couple of them get blasted by Jean! Jean is pretty good as the villain, but he becomes a bit too over the top during his last fight as he starts behaving like a heel in wrestling...

So, I liked the fights and I wanted to see the hero succeed. I would also like to see more development in areas as watching a guy just have a girlfriend who happens to be the sister of the head of a karate school is absurd! I mean, they had to film the scenes, right? So why weren't they left in, you edit out unimportant stuff, but a love interest who is integral to the plot you leave in! Also, I do not believe Bruce Lee would hit people in the head to get his point across, from everything I have heard about him he was a pretty nice fellow. Though, if you need help, dead people just come back and assist you? Man, I need to find someone who was really good at helping get people past depression then, I cannot afford an alive one...

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