joelman

This is not a real documentary. Rather, it is a fictitious story masquerading as a documentary. Think Waiting for Guffman or This is Spinal Tap or Incident at Loch Ness. Pretty much every ostensible person in the film is a character played by a mediocre actor. One of the scientist characters has the unsubtle name of "Conrad Manus." The disclaimer at the beginning is weak and poorly worded.

I would've preferred a "found footage" style horror film. Something like Blair Witch or Paranormal Activity or The Fourth Kind. Hell, even something cool and atmospheric like The Mothman Prophecies, which is more straightforward narrative pretending to be based on true events. That would've been more fun. Instead, it's just a bad-CGI Jaws ripoff.

I was shown this episode of Shark Week by some folks who wholeheartedly believed it was real. I hope I didn't ruin it for them.

I mean, C'mon. If it were real, the people who showed it to me (along with an audience of children) would have had to reckon with the idea that they were showing the violent deaths of actual human beings to all of us. A shark-attack snuff film, if you will.

The only reason I give it more than one star is because the production design is halfway decent.

It's refreshing to see a piece of journalism that doesn't sugarcoat it's subject matter. Essential viewing for everyone.

A quote from Sartre comes to mind often these days:

"Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. The anti-Semites have the right to play. They even like to play with discourse for, by giving ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocutors. They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert. If you press them too closely, they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for argument is past."

Why didn't they just kill him in the dentists chair? Why are there security feeds being piped to every screen in every room all of the time? Why doesn't he call his ex? How is an international team of psychopathic assassins assembled within 24 hours? Do they all live in the same city the protagonist does? From whence does his voiceover narration emanate? I have so many other questions.

I just finally sat down to see this film, and I had a great experience. Stephen King will always be lauded for his unique concepts and super-long novels, and David Cronenberg will always be remembered as the king of depraved horror films, but Christopher Walken will always be remembered as just plain awesome.

The film takes a rather leisurely pace and this works well, it slowly creeps you out as you stay riveted to the screen. As for overall creepiness, this film isn't one to scare your socks off... but it is very enjoyable in that nobody could really sit there and laugh at it and predict everything going on. Cronenberg shoots the film more in the style of Kubrick's King adaptation The Shining, rather than imposing his own brand of sick horror onto the story.

All in all, a very enjoyable experience, with nice cameos by other Cronenberg regulars like Les Carlson, Peter Dvorsky, and Herbert Lom playing a psychiatrist, reversing the role that he had in so many of the Pink Panther films.

7/10

Okay, I haven't seen this movie but I have read and talked to people who have... and I just have this to say about the rating it has received on IMDb:

Don't rate it as a 10 or a 1... it makes no difference. IMDb calculates votes on a weighted system and most likely, on such a 'political' film, they will disregard the votes from users that display a history of voting tens or ones on certain other titles similar to this one.

Just watch the film and give it your honest rating... odds are it isn't one of the greatest films ever made in the history of mankind (10), nor is it the lowest turd ever to stink up the silver screen (1), GIVE IT AN HONEST VOTE AND STOP THINKING YOU CAN BULLY THE SYSTEM. I've seen it with The Godfather and LOTR and Shawshank people too and it's ridiculous. Seriously, if you are incapable of viewing a film outside of your own impassioned feeling-of-righteousness over it, then you have no business even venturing to rate it on IMDb. The rating it receives here is also not the be-all end-all of the film's worth, and thinking that you are accomplishing a great deal by voting for it to such an extreme is idiocy.

Alright that's my rant... give this film a chance. I'm a Bush-fan and I gave Fahrenheit my honest rating as a film, not according to how much I disagreed with its ideals.

For those fans of the books who have been watching these films unfold during the past 7 years, it has been a journey of love, labor and a good number of sacrifices... but a great deal more rewards. For those fans who have only just begun to discover Middle Earth through the films, Tolkien's masterpiece 3-part epic remains intact in its message, imagery, and timeless virtue. Here preserved on 35mm film for all to see is the capstone to the epic film series that has become an international phenomenon with critics, fans, and especially the box office.

The Return of the King is the big payoff. In a sense the film is just that, the third chapter to a massive 11+ hour epic film, and certainly the most rewarding film of the series. But for being packed with exhilirating action, nail-biting suspense, intense dramatic scenes and heartfelt emotional scenes that will make grown men cry - The Return of the King tells the final chapter of the Lord of the Rings with surprising patience and a very carefully wrought edge to storytelling. Here the many strands of the story are skillfuly interwoven throughout the film and eventually brought together in a very momentous climax which will literally make you want to rise up from your seat and start roaring battle cries along with the bedraggled warriors on the screen who, in the face of unstoppable hatred, rally together and charge forward nonetheless.

You will love this movie. If you have missed seeing the other films then go and watch them to prep yourself for seeing this one. You simply cannot miss this while it is in the theaters, it will knock you down and you will love every minute of it.

10/10

Yes... that's right folks, the Scarecrow is back! Possible spoilers... but who cares!

I know that you all must have been anticipating his return as hotly as the people who crafted the first film anticipated making it. I can tell from the production values that are given to Scarecrow Slayer. Tagline: "He cuts to the chase!"

First off: the acting is all actually quite good. Each character does a good job at being one emotion consistently throughout the film. There's the girl who has all of her buddies killed and gets blamed for it by the Sheriff and she just rolls with the punches... it doesn't really phase her... all the death and hopeless despair and the fact that she gets attacked and injured numerous times. Then there's the guy who broods silently and looks really depressed and cold with hunched shoulders for the whole movie until he explodes in an unfurling coil of rage and spittle before meeting his demise.

And don't forget the Sheriff, a cynical hotshot who is full of himself: glad to be a new father, proud to be having an affair and enthused at having a bizarre killing spree on his hands. There's the old man whose father died at the beginning (in a spectacular FX shot!) who is only out for revenge and has eyes that look on the verge of gushing tears and speaks in very hurried, hushed and sparse words that you really can't hear... but it doesn't matter.

All that matters is the obvious green screen and the cheeseball FX which create the Scarecrow and his dramatic killing scenes. If this film didn't take itself too seriously, it would truely be a great horror classic. But no. The cast and crew actually talk about the psyches of their characters and the message of the film and the plot points. No, no someone really goofed up here. This film has a novel concept and a creativeily freaky villan. But for some reason it's wasted on an actual story.

Rent and watch this with your friends and make fun of it. That is the way to go. If you buy this film then you either must be related to someone who was in it or you have some weird fascination with crap.

To be brutally honest... I LOVED watching Severed. That's why I

gave it a 1/10 stars because of its starkly unimaginative

story/filming/acting/everything. This film was a RIOT to watch. If

you enjoy watching bad films in order to poke fun at them, you will

really get a kick out of Severed.

The story really doesn't matter, it involves some guy who's bald

and has a sword and goes around beheading random people.

But he has a supernatural twist... nobody ever sees him do it.

Even when, in one very memorable scene, he walks into a

jampacked night club and whacks off some girl's noodle and

nobody sees it.

Severed doesn't merely look like it was filmed on video- it WAS

filmed on someone's home camcorder. The filmmakers had

knowledge of lighting (very thin knowledge) and composition

actually holds together in some scenes. But mostly you can't hear

the actors... you can't understand what they're doing, and you laugh

when the next vicitm gets his pumpkin detatched from his body.

Go and rent this movie. Support films like this- they are a hoot and

a hollar!

Meet the Raisins!, a half-hour television special that showed in 1988 is quite possibly one of the most creative mockumentaries ever made. Produced in association with Atlantic Records, Meet the Raisins takes some of the greatest musical hits of the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s and makes them out to have been originally written and recorded by a band of raisins. Aside from this bizarre concept, the show features many creative characters such as Frederico Rasberrini, the Italian film director, and Rudy Beggarman, the band's stuttering agent. Hosting the show is a British carrot by the name of Cecil Thyme. The show goes on to spoof numerous films and songs and ends with one of the best musical numbers I can think of. It's worth checking out, if you can find someone who was smart enough to tape it, since you cannot buy it on video anywhere. Hint to Will Vinton, perhaps if there is a special Claymation Collected works DVD made, many other people will get to see this rare treat. 10/10

Kingdom Chums was among my most favorite childhood shows to watch. They were biblically based, if you don't already know, and the Original Top Ten was a musical adventure about the ten commandments that is very well done. I'm not sure if you can find the video anywhere anymore, but it is excellent if you can find it. 8/10

Perhaps there are people who would disdain the grainy look of this film, or hate the jumpy camera work. I, for one, think that Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu is a genius. You really have to appreciate his film making. Amores Perros is a must see for those of you who haven't seen it yet, and Powder Keg is no exception either. This film focuses much more on emotions and injustices in Central and South America, and really lays the drama on in the end. Brilliant work. I'm glad that BMW did this series, perhaps they will see fit to release it on DVD, that would be excellent.

I walked into the Lord of the Rings: the Fellowship of the Ring with really high expectations, and I walked away having had all of them fulfilled. The incredible satisfaction of seeing Orthanc towering above the Gap of Rohan, the pristine beauty of Rivendell, the sad, solemn enchantment of Lothlorien, all of these were portrayed with incredible detail and realism. The amount of work that went into this film is simply astounding.

The Dark Riders were incredibly scary and the balrog- oh my, the BALROG. I won't give away any secrets, but the character that scared me most in the film, more than Gollum (who makes several shadowed appearances), more than Sauron, more than the Uruk-hai, was Bilbo. Ian Holm does a more than realistic job of portraying the old hobbit, he does a terrifying job of it.

The Shire is amazingly green and homely, while the mines of Moria are equally vast and majestic. The river at Amon Hen is unreal, and all of this was filmed in New Zealand. New Zealand is Middle Earth, there is just no two ways about it. Caradhras is incredible, likewise the city of Minas Tirith (which we glimpse briefly) is ancient and beautiful. The film has very high production values and it shows. The detailed cities and realms are beyond description in some cases. I can't wait to see Treebeard and the Ents.

The Elves are enchanting, beautiful and sad. The Dwarves are steadfast, loyal and hardy. The hobbits are frightened, small, but very determined and possess courage beyond their size. Men, men are honorable, but their faults run deep as well. The film does an excellent job of portraying the separate races. Another point worthy of note is how well the wizards (both Gandalf and Saruman) are done. They are played by impeccable actors and the duels between them are the finest battles you will see.

I could write reams more about this film, but in reality, all I have to say is, "Go and see it.. now. Go and buy a ticket and watch it. And then, watch it again the next day. There is too much and too little in this film that you cannot miss it. See it today. It's worth it."

I have to admit, this is a very fine film for a first time director. Shot in the region where she grew up, Guylaine Dionne makes use of the passing scenery, and even injects some nature footage, to bring us a sublime view of life in Quebec. More than just using this as a backdrop for the story of three generations of women on a road trip, she connects it with us through the black and white film, so that our minds fill in the rest. All the same, the film seems uneven in some parts, with an emphasis on the elder woman's past experiences setting up for the lives of the other two. At the same time, the idea of having the younger two be teleported into the memories of the elder "Mado" is unique and slightly confusing. All in all, the nature of the film makes you think and examine memory as a way of reliving, but never changing your past.