Cin-38

I have to say I am a horror movie buff. Jaded to say the least. For a film to scare me takes quite a bit. But this film, although not able to eject me from my seat, gave me a run for my money. The worst part about it is you don't even know it's going to be a horror movie for the first hour or so.

The film is about Aoyama. A lonely middle aged widower movie producer whose been alone too long. Thinking it's time to get remarried (even his teenage son thinks it's time, when this happens you know its gotta happen) he begins to think of ways to find a suitable bride. His friend comes up with the crackpot idea of holding a fake audition for a movie. Seems pretty far fetched. Amazingly it works! I ought to try that. It is here we meet Asami, a very cute, pretty young girl with a chip on her shoulder and a mysterious past. We all know she is going to win Aoyama's heart from the beginning because he was quite smitten with the profile of her given to him. The two get together and have some very sweet moments with each other. At first

Does this sounds like the beginning of a crappy romantic-comedy to you or what? I can just see the American version of this now. All they need is for her to be married or engaged to some rich jerk. It will star either Meg Ryan or Julia Roberts as the cute and troubled audition. Have Richard Gere as the lonely widower (a part he has perfected). Some random, handsome, snobby British guy as the rich jerk. It will be set in a major metropolitan city, and it will be directed by Penny Marshal.

Fortunately, this is the set in the East. Anything goes over there. The film goes from being a cute little snorefest to a nightmarish apparition that could give David Cronenberg a run for his money. There is no really messy gore in this movie at all, well sort of in one scene. Something that surprises me after seeing some of the other lunatic category 3 horror movies from the East I've seen in recent times (Entrails of the Virgin, anybody) . The movie relies on hallucinogenic images and unsettling scenery to get it's scares. Something it does very well. The sets are very dark and foreboding. The lighting is kept to a minimum while color is brought in shades so the characters seem to be encompassed by them. Red seems to the flavor of the day here. But it is a good choice, red means dread, and that becomes the feeling that comes over us as the film reaches it's sadistic climax.

I have heard quite a few people compare this to Suspiria. I must disagree with that sentiment. Anyone who knows me, knows my feelings for Dario Argento's "masterpiece." I might take a bit of heat for this, but I think Audition is scarier than Suspiria. The lighting, cinematography, and overall feeling of doom are increased tenfold in this picture. If you are a horror fan and haven't seen Audition, I recommend you take a look at this little gem. However, I must warn you of one thing. Audition is not for pussies who watch Scream and think crap like The Sixth Sense is the scariest movie of all time. Also, it can be a bit confusing at first. But stick with it and give it a chance or two. Not a movie for recommendation on how good the plot is, though I found it quite good. Most people will recommend it just on how f***ed up it is.

I don't have much to say about Puppet Master V. It more or less treads all the waters of its predecessor. The movie takes place just after PM4. The next day in fact (they were shot back to back). Rick is being questioned by the cops (who else, the sushi bar attendents?) about the previous nights ensuing mayhem. While trying to sort out all of this crap, Rick finds out from Lauren that more puppet-related chaos is on the way.

It appears Suteckh, the villian from the previous chapter, has decided he has no choice but to take things into his own hands after lastnight's failure. He transfers his power and mind into a single totem and sends it to the human realm. This doesn't settle all that well with our protagonists. A totem-puppet tustle erupts.

Since this was shot right with PM4 it is more or less the same movie. Same actors, same puppets (except for Torch, who for some reason was conspicuous by his absence in the last), same villain, same everything. Which brings up a question. If Suteckh could just put himself into a totem or more, why didn't he do that in the first place? What did he want to get paid for TWO movies?

I really can't find myself to recomend this to anyone except hardcore Puppet Master fans. Even a large group of them dislike. Not that it's any worse than the previous (which is unpopular as well). But it doesn't bring anything new to the table. Only for PM fans who want to see all of the pictures as part of a huge Puppethon.

Full Moon did an alright job for this one. The puppets resurrect Toulon in hopes of having someone to push them around again. Why don't they just become freelance puppets? Surely there must be easier ways to get a job for somebody.

THIS IS A REALLY SIMPLE MOVIE. HERE'S A QUICK SUMMARY

Some scientists show-up to do some...scientific stuff in the infamous hotel. Then a guy dressed like Claude Reigns (Toulon) shows up. Apparently thinks our heroine is his lost lover reincarnated. so he makes the puppets hack out brains so he can become immortal with her in these cool big puppets he built for her.

If I don't sound to excited by this movie. I'm not. I didn't like this entry for the following. The characters are too whiny and stupid to really care for them (a problem plaguing films for years now). The script is worse than the first, I didn't know that was possible, this one actually has fewer twists. Toulon is now evil and that is just plain stupid. Toulon was always the face of kindness and friendship to the puppets.

Now enough griping. I do have to say the film is actually shot pretty well. A few good camera tricks raise it over the first. The acting is a lot better than the cardboard cutouts from the previous film. Special effects seem a little better this time around.

All in all this film is only fair. It's tollerable but far from the best. For fans of the series (and we are the only ones who watch these movies anyway) only.

***SLIGHT SPOILERS*** This installment of the Full Moon franchise changes the storyline a bit and implements some new elements. First off a new puppet master is established. Secondly, the puppets turn good in this sequel. Finally, It introduces some scifi/fantasy elements as well.

A new tenant of the infamous hotel by the bay, his girlfriend, her psychic friend, and that psychics boyfriend, stumble upon Andre Toulon's puppet trunk. They also learn about some demon from another dimension that holds Toulon responsible for stealing the secret to animating the unliving. So Sutekh (the demon) sends the totems, a bunch of craven little creatures that look like ear-less gremlins. Then it's up to the puppet troupe to take care of the inter-dimensional threat that's trying to kill there new friends.

Like most low budget movies this film is rife with continuity problems. How did the puppets get put back in the trunk? How come nobody remembers the last rasche of killngs in the hotel? Who bought the hotel? Why would a contractor by a building with a history of mass murders? All this and many more questions, will not be answered...ever.

The real suprise of this movie is the acting. It's actually pretty good. The actors take it with a enthusiasm unusual especially for a bunch of Full Moon nonames. Teresa Hill was especially impressive as the shy, nervous, psychic Lauren. Chandra West (Susie) was also a pleasant suprise also. Gordon Hill was a tolerable protagonist. But Cameron was far too annoying to stomach. Thank the norse god he dies before halfway through.

The puppets are there usual animated selves. With some improvements as well. There emotions (especially Jester's) are much more human due to the sounds that have been given to them. Blade's hisses, Pinhead's grunts, and Six-Shooter's snicker have all been improved and sound much better. The stop-motion animation is only average at best, especially the totems. They just don't seem to move as fluidly as the previous installment in the series. Also the Sutekh costume is absolutely awefull. How are we supposed to afraid of a creature so humorous looking.

The story seems a bit juvinile for the series. I think Charlie Band was looking to focus in on a younger demographic. The violence being toned down in this movie also seems to speak the same. Gore fans will be disappointed.

I think the above is the main problem this movie can't really stick with many people. It doesn't have the violence for gorewhores. The language is a little cleaner. Yet it's too violent and harsh for the wee ones. Which is why the movie gets low ratings. I have to say that the common reviews are mostly fair.

Full Moon's first film was not the classic it could have been. But it certainly did make for an interesting series of films starring killer puppets. A film made only for cult film horror fans with a specific taste. When viewed upon in that light, only then can one see the real appeal to this film. Or just weirdos with a fetish for toys.

Without giving away the meat and potatoes of the movie, here's a short summary of the film.

The picture starts out in California 1939. In a very rich looking hotel an old man (William Hickey in a cameo, I mention his name because I can't remember any of the other actors in this film.) is seen painting the face of one of his puppets along with other wooden creatures that he created. When gazing out his hotel window he notices two men with trenchcoats and fedoras. The Jester he's painting spins his head in a fearful disjointed look. The man, identified as Andre Toulon, comforts his creations and hides them in his now infamous trunk. He hides them in a secret passage in the wall and just as the men (nazis) knock on his door, Toulon puts a gun in his mouth and pulls the trigger. We cut to the present (1989) where a group of psychics come to the now empty and abandoned hotel in order to solve a former colleages death. Where are true stars of the film await them.

If you're wondering why the last sentence of that paragraph is so brief. It's because the opening is the most dramatic part of the movie. The characters in the film are quite cliiched as far as psychics go. There's the slightly normal but tortured one, the slutty one, the eccentric one, the slimy ladies man, the shy innocent one. Actually they seem just like any other cult movie cliche. But older and more sophisticated looking. As one might have guessed, Toulon's friends are there to cause more than a little puppet-related-psychic-deaths.

True to cult movie fashion, guess who the real stars of the movie are. The actors read through out there lines with real genuine boredom. The script actually has some pretty good twists put in it. Especially near the end. While the puppets are very emotional and entertaing. The actual puppet work is done to such good effect as to give the little wooden creatures almost genuine emotion. I find it quite ironic (if you will pardon the pun) that of all the characters the actual actors are the only ones giving wooden performances. Which gives the film accididental protagonists and a quirky sense of humor. Which Band must have tuned into at the end of the film.

In conclusion. This film is predictable at times. The acting is hollow and emotionless, even during the sex scene. But the actual puppets play there little hearts out. So for the cult film lunatics with doll fetish's. This is a good start to what became a quite marketable franchise.

I hate to sound critical or anything. BUT! There are way too many glowing reviews for this film. People acually seem to think this is as scary as Suspiria. Anyone who actually seeks enjoyment from this film outside of a so-bad-its-good-attitude is a cinematic masochist. Anyone who finds this movie scary has emotional problems.

Are we so deprived of good horror movies (or bad ones for that matter) that we have to accept this as scary? SCARY? The acting was scary and that's about it.

I think we should crucify Tyler Mane. Hardcore? A computer geek named hardcore? Something wrong here? I mean we all the other stereo-types to make a good crappy horror movie, why did they put him in there? Did anyone try to act in this film? Even Clea DuVall (whom I enjoy very much) seemed to meander through the scenes reading her lines with all the zeil and emotion of a UPS truck.

Another problem I have with the reviews of this movie is everybody seems to think it's so original. ORIGINAL? I'm sorry to insult your IQ (actually I'm not) but exactly how many machine-built-for-good-turns-evil-kills-everything-computer-withamindofitsow n movies have there been?

The real flaw in this movie is that it takes itself too seriously. The director really thought he was making another Alien. Hence the "claustrophobic" environment. Monster creature running around a small area hiding and killing obnoxious crew members one-by-one seems to be the real theme. Problem, Alien was original in its time. Also, it had good writing, good acting, and characters to care about.

But back to the taking itself too seriously part. Besides a few pre-monster shenadigans by the nerds, the film plays it straight. Bad move. Really there is nothing to take seriously about this movie.

What's scary about bad writing, sloppy direction, wooden acting, and a plot that's been worn out since the 80's? Absolutely nothing. Unless you have a need to watch a movie you need to make fun of all the through.

This movie nearly killed me the first time I saw it. It was so bad I nearly killed myself. But then I realized a new reason to watch the film. IT WAS SO BAD I NEARLY KILLED MYSELF! LAUGHING THAT IS! I repeat that because that is the reason to watch the movie. It reminds me of a good old crappy exploitation flick from the '70's. Bad acting (really bad), inane script, benawl direction, lots of skin, stereotyped characters, and lots more skin. that is the reason to watch the movie. It reminds me of a good old crappy exploitation flick from the '70's. Bad acting (really bad), inane script, benawl direction, lots of skin, sterotyped characters, and lots more skin.

Many afficionadoes of the first film will judge the film as sequel/prequel. But the best part of the film is that it is just a rip-off of the first. Only unbelievably bad. Hey, I have seen and enjoyed the first one. But I never measure a sequel to the original. It's not fair.

Let's start with the acting. Now many have said Amy Adams has a lot of talent and a future. I agree with the former but after this film the latter seems to be in question. The younger actors just don't seem to know that their chosen profession is to ACT. Somebody should tell them that. Once again one of the best parts. I read a review stating there were too many slutty Catholic schoolgirls. THAT'S A LIE! No such thing. Since the movie was supposed to be a TV show the acting has a lot of All My Melrose Dawson's Children In The Middle 901210 material here. That is a lot of soap opera.

Which brings me to the music. Awful. It is supposed to draw us further into the story. It just makes me laugh. General Hospital would have troubles competing with the sappy softcore porno-Days Of Our Lives infernal tootleing.

Next stop cinematography...Well it was there. The movie was shot. I seriously think the director shot the entire film with out looking at it. Moving on.

I have been dreading this part. The script. A very unfortunate use of paper. Had this been an exploitation flick we wouldn't need this thing. Here go's...GODDAMNIT I CAN'T DO IT! Many give spoilers, I don't but I'll give a summary. "I'm poor, I'm horny, I'm rich, I'm horny, I've been betrayed, Did I mention I'm horny?" There I think this sums things up. The characters are perfect B-movie sqaudron. Asian psychotic maids, looney chefs, slutty schoolgirls, LESBIAN TWIN SHOWER SCENES. I'm going to say that 3 more times in this review. Any true American movie classic must have a LESBIAN TWIN SHOWER SCENE. Especially for no reason at all. That is truly the best reason to have a LESBIAN TWIN SHOWER SCENE. Two more to go. Were they really serious when they were filming 95% of these scenes? I hope not, that would be sad.

Overall the film has a LESBIAN TWIN SHOWER SCENE. Yes! One more to go. Don't watch this movie if your a fan of the first one. Don't watch this movie if you like some of Hollywood's more useless inventions such as the script, actor, writer, and several other things that go into making a good movie. But if you like non-stop stupidity, sexuality, and did I mention that everbody switched hair color in this? Well anyway it is one of the worst movies of the last two decades and we shouldn't be happier. Watch it and laugh. LAUGH! LAUGH! LAUGH DAMN YOU!!!

Whoa! Sorry freaked out there. Well This is a B-Movie cult classic in the making. Goodnight to all and to all LESBIAN TWIN SHOWER SCENE!

I was very surprised when I saw this movie. I thought it would be like every other porno movie I see. In ways it is, but it makes up all predictability with a touch of real style. It's not everyday you see a porn movie that is made to be like a ghost film. Jessica Darlin does a very good job as the sexy, scantily clad, slutty, smart-ass spirit that shows suicides what could have been happening every day if they lived. Sort of a pornographic It's A Wonderful Life from the darkside. The women very attractive in their own right. I especially drooled for Kristi Myst, Jessica herself, and Bridget Kervove. Other women seen were stellar their scenes. But not to make you think that I thought this is the elite porno movie of all time. The movie is like every other movie of it's kind. Bad acting, bad script, and so on, and so on. But who the hell should care about that crap anyway.

This movie was awful. That's the way I like my porno movies. You know what I'm talking about. Bad plot, awful acting, senseless dialougue. All this and more. Granted the sex is nothing to write home about. This is every other porn flick. Kristi Myst is still the most beautiful pornstar in the world(take that Jenna fans). Anna Malle is also very hot. Other than that this is an average porn movie with all the awefull goodness atleast I come to love among them. I wish there were more out there this bad.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN DOES THE HURTING STOP? That's what I said somewhere between the beginning and that other part of the movie that really sucked. This film nearly sapped all the life out of me and I have sat through some really bad movies. Coming from a true Puppet Master fan, I would expect to hear myself say this, but it's true. The plot is inane, the special effects awful, the sound track the most benawl, infernal tootling I have ever heard. Oh! I almost forgot about the acting, it was so bad that I forgot it was there at all, nuff said. The only redeeming factor in the film is the puppets themselves they truly are the stars and could out-act all but Guy Rolfe himself(he is the puppetmaster)and although you can see their wires and strings, they carry me throughout the painful start to finish of Retro-Puppet Master. In closing, PM7 is recomended for true fanatics who happen to be masochists.

Roach