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Rocket Power

It is inexcusable that they would rather air this show than the likes of Invader Zim or Rocko's Modern Life.

All the characters do is play sports. The plots are boring, they repeat the same formula over and over; play sports, screw up, problem, solve it, and play more sports. Not even the most retarded of sports junkies would enjoy this show. There isn't even any half decent attempt at humor.

The only remotely decent episode was the one when they make the amateur movie, and even that episode would put a child with ADHD into a coma.

It's shows like this that really make a channel suck. They might have cancelled it, but it's too late to take back this... THING!


One of my favorite SNES games
This game was, and still is, the definition of innovation, as it perfectly blended side-scrolling action and SimCity-style gameplay. You basically are god, and in the side-scrolling levels you take the form of a knight and fight monsters, including challenging bosses. After that's completed, people inhabit the land you just cleansed, and you have to guide them. You can choose which direction you want them to build, and you can perform miracles to change the landscape and make it more inhabitable, e.g. using lightning to destroy trees and bushes for building space, or using sun to dry up marshlands. Put that on top of high replay value, and a soundtrack that puts Final Fantasy VII to shame, and you have one of the best Virtual Console downloads this side of Ninja Gaiden.

The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind

More than a game.
Never before has anyone been able to craft an RPG of such exquisiteness and depth. I picked it up 3 years ago, and after first playing it, I was not the same person, and it continues to waste weeks of my life time and time again. No wonder I haven't been laid.

The game is completely open-ended. You could avoid the main quest entirely if you wanted, racking up wealth and treasures in the countless sidequests featured. When creating your character, you can pick your gender, pick out of 10 races to play as, your class, and your birthsign. Their are dozens of skills to choose, all representing either Combat, Magic, or Stealth. But the way you level up is especially interesting. Instead of gaining experience points, you develop your character by actually developing their skills, similar to Final Fantasy II. If your fight with a Long Sword, your Long Sword skill will increase. When enough skills have increased, you level up, and raise attributes. You could conceivably create a dagger-wielding berserker with an arsenal of stealth spells, or exactly the opposite. It makes the most sense out of any role-playing system I've ever experienced, and it allows you to create any type of character you want.

While playing, you can really become immersed into the game world and your character. I often make up backstories in my head and play out scenarios and ramble dialog to myself, truly playing the role of my character.

But enough about character development. I haven't even gotten started on the game world itself. It is 8 square miles big, and so richly detailed you can feel like your in it. According to many sources, the developers would hire "clutter monkeys" to decorate the interior spaces with useless junk, like plates, cups, bottles, torches, vases, and thousands of other different types of clutter, all of which can be freely manipulated. The terrain is varied, with mountains, rocks, trees, and towns with unique architecture dotting the landscape, all rendered in beautiful graphics. The towns are populated with NPCs, most of them uninteresting, but sometimes you come across unique characters and unique oddities.

Obviously, there is an endless variety of equipment to be found. Weapons range from basic weaponry like Spears and Steel Daggers, to exotic weaponry like Glass Longswords and Ebony Warhammers, all free to use at any level you wish (good luck finding stuff like that at level 1 though).

There are several different factions and guilds to join, including the Fighters Guild, Mages Guild, Thieve's Guild, 3 vampire factions, and 3 great houses, House Hlaalu, House Redoran, or House Telvanni (you can only join one house at a time).

But what really makes Morrowind have endless replay value is it's customizability. Shipped with Morrowind is the Elder Scrolls Construction Set, which lets you modify just about any aspect of the game you wish. Once you get the hang of it, it's pretty easy to use. There exists an immense modding community, with mods fitting just about any purpose. The mods are THE reason to buy the PC version and not the Xbox version.

The game is not perfect. The combat can sometimes be boring, and unless you have the Tribunal expansion, your journal will become an unorganized mess. Some reviewers noted that the graphics can slow the game down, but I never had a problem, so I cant complain. These errors are in general overshadowed by all the positive aspects of the game itself.

As I'm sure you'll understand by now, Morrowind is possibly the greatest game in recent memory. Even if you don't like games like this, Morrowind will draw you win like a black hole and never let you out.

Shin seiki Evangelion Gekijô-ban: Air/Magokoro wo, kimi ni

This film has to be the greatest, scariest, deepest, and darkest film ever made. It was created as an alternate ending to the amazing anime series Neon Genesis Evangelion.

The film is equal parts action, psychological bad trip, and eye candy. The fight with Unit 02 against the EVA series was mind-blowing, and I was literally cheering for Asuka to tear them to shreds. The imagery and symbolism were downright disturbing, and the ending was one of the most apocalyptic endings imaginable. After the film was over, I was sitting on the couch in a state of shock, and stayed that way for about 10 whole minutes.

If you are a fan of anime, love Evangelion, and enjoy films like Akira, I implore that you buy this movie. They are making two more films about Evangelion, one animated and one live-action, but I'd be willing to bet everything I have ever known and loved that they will not upstage this masterpiece.

The Legend of Zelda

So bad it's awesome!
The Legend of Zelda is a cartoon contained within the much more successful Super Mario Bros. Super Show based on the game of the same name.

This cartoon is obviously a big screwup. It does no justice for the awesome game series it is based on, and anyone can you tell that.

Yet still, there's something about it that is extremely funny. Maybe it's how they turned Link into a cocky jerk, or the nightmarish acting, but it manages to be so funny you just have to keep watching.

In closing, the show is horrible, but it's hysterical. It's a guilty pleasure. Too bad it only lasted 13 episodes.

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