greeniz18

IMDb member since August 2006
    Lifetime Total
    1+
    IMDb Member
    12 years

Reviews

Alcatraz
(2012)

Incredibly Mediocre
Well, I'm still disappointed and I've seen the first 4 episodes hoping it would get better. It hasn't. The show has many problems. To name a few....

1. The female lead. She is not likable AT ALL and how can you fully invest in a show where you don't like the main character? She is unfortunately very miscast.

2. No chemistry. There is zero chemistry between any of the main characters. Perhaps it's the writing, or just the combination of actors, or the quantity of actors. I don't know, but I'm left not caring at all about what happens to anyone.

3. The story focus. The trailers reeled us in because they promised a sci-fi and supernatural storyline with a mystery that will slowly unravel through the season(s) about how convicts from '63 showed up in the present. However, what we have gotten so far is a cop show. Each episode focuses on catching a different convict who for some reason just wants to commit a horrible crime right away instead of stepping back and asking themselves why they are suddenly 45 years in the future. That also goes for the protagonists...they don't seem very "freaked out" by any of this.

I could go on but I think I've made my point. Having said all that, I love Jorge Garcia and Sam Neil, but I'm afraid they are the only quality parts of the show.

Nine
(2009)

Pure boredom and torture
So I went to write a review for this terrible movie, and came across this other person's review. After reading it, I realized I couldn't have written a better review myself, so instead I've decided to copy and paste their review so as to double the chances of someone reading it.

"Where do I begin? I scoffed at the people leaving the cinema after only 5 minutes. "Uncultured fools", I thought. Only afterwords did I realise that they were the lucky ones: I lost two hours of my life (and maybe more) being exposed to this utter rubbish.

As a musical, the best parts (and I use the term "best" very loosely here) of this film are when the cast aren't screeching out an unmemorable number. Seriously, you won't remember any of it other than the "Guido! Guido! Guido!" ringing in your ears.

Even having Penelope Cruz's scantily-covered crotch thrust into your face didn't improve things. The rest of the "all star" cast doesn't fair much better: Sophia Loren looks like an extra-terrestrial (no doubt from having one face-stretch too many), Daniel Day-Lewis is forgettable and is upstaged by his car (which, seriously, is the only interesting showpiece in the entire film), Nicole Kidman does practically nothing, Judy Dench is in her typical mother-hen role, and Fergie (who is apparently not the ex-member of the British Royal Family but a member of the Black Eyed Peas) I can't remember seeing. Must have slept through her performance, but presumably it must have been better than the rest since it didn't wake me up with its sheer awfulness.

How this film garnered no less than 5 Golden Globe nominations is a complete mystery. Even the cast members interviewed on Larry King looked bewildered - they must have been as surprised as I would have been if I had seen this mess."

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