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Mostly disgusting
You see how the movie is gonna play out in about the first five minutes, but i thought you know nothing wrong with that, i enjoy a cliche romcom every now and then; plus I'm a New Girl fan so I've been looking forward to this movie. Boy was I disappointed.

This movie is mostly just disgusting. What they think is comedy is pure, gross, unadulterated trash. How on earth is a storyline involving pedophilia funny? In what world? Why would anyone wanna watch a 9-year-old get it on for grown-a** woman over and over and over? They just wouldn't stop with it! Also, barfing on someone's face? Being humped by a dolphin? Being slapped in the face by its dick? Ew, ew, ew, and ew.

Also, nothing about Wes's character was endearing, and she didn't really grow by the end, either. What all of a sudden she's going to stop being a self-absorbed crazy loser because her friends got mad once?

One star because I still watched it to the end. One star for the actors, and the third one for the old but important overall message.

I See You

They almost made the perfect thriller. Almost.
They almost made the perfect edge-of your seat nail biter thriller, but fell just short. There were like 5 twists which were about 2-3 too many, which brings me down to 9/10 stars. Then I'm taking away 2 stars just for the torturous noise they subjected me to in the background. And then one more star off because that's how much I disliked that industrial grinding/whale song noise that just would not let up.

Askeladden - I Dovregubbens hall

Classic tale from Norwegian folklore
It's the old 'fight the monster to save the princess' storyline but it's based on Norwegian folktales. It feels a little too simplistic at times but the scenery is breathtaking and the cultural differences interesting, which leads to quite an entertaining movie overall.

Askeladden - I Soria Moria slott

Worth a watch
If you like beautiful scenery and fairy tales, this sequel is definitely worth a watch. The storytelling is markedly different from mainstream Hollywood movies but it's interesting and can be viewed as insight into Norwegian culture.

Black Summer

Watchable but not too good
The cons: The black screen episode titles every few scenes are annoying; you don't relate to the characters because they don't get introduced properly and get killed off like flies; some stuff only happens to move the plot along without any viable explanations; and there's very limited dialogue.

The pros: the zombies are decent and the acting is good. Characters respond to the zombie apocalypse like I imagine a normal, real person would, like a character literally running away (like on foot with the zombie chasing) from a zombie for minutes and minutes was so realistic it scared me more than any other zombie show has.

The Possession of Hannah Grace

Best horror movie I've seen in a while
I'm a horror movie buff and I don't scare easy, but at this movie I actually screamed! Over the years I've learned to anticipate the jump scares and what not so the fact that his movie could still catch me off guard says a lot. The plot, the acting, the atmosphere, etc. were all also quite good. Good job well done; so go see it in theaters as it's not gonna be as good watching at home.

Sleep No More

I actually liked it.
I started watching this movie with low expectations but it is actually pretty neat. There are only a few things that don't quite make sense, and they're minor. The acting isn't the best, but the effects aren't half bad. What really impressed me is that the plot is as solid as it gets for a movie of this caliber, and the story is belieavable. I would even call this a better alternative to the remake of Flatliners. Good job, guys!


Leaves you wanting more!
I'm still in the theater waiting for the second after-credits scene as I write this, and I can safely say it was a fun ride. Tom Hardy was his awesome self sans the British accent (save for one moment when he says "scared" and the Brit can't be reigned in) and I loved it. The action, the humor, the plot, everything fell right into place and gave way to a very entertaining movie. If I have to mention any cons, it'd be the change of heart that Venom has toward the end that's not sufficiently explained. Can't tell what it is without spoilers, though, so I'm gonna leave it at that. Oh and CGI fights suck, but I liked the incorporation of the actors to the scene here!

If you like superhero movies, you're going to like this movie. If you don't like superhero movies, you're still going to like this movie.

Our House

not scary but not bad either
This is more a story about loss and coping, so the drama component is stronger than horror. It's really not bad for its kind and deserves credit for avoiding jump scares. Could be watched if you aren't expecting something truly scary.

It Comes at Night

It doesn't come at night, or any time of the day for that matter
This movie doesn't fail to scare; worse, it blatantly doesn't even try.

I don't know if I'm more disappointed by movies that you can tell will be crap just by looking at the lighting and camera-work, or a movie that's actually pretty decent in terms of techy stuff and casting and acting and atmosphere and yet miserably fails to deliver. Yeah I think it's the latter. At least with cheap looking movies you know the risk.

If you look at this as a movie that explores "the human condition" or something like that, you might find some merit in it. However, it's advertised as a horror movie, which, by definition, needs to at least TRY to scare audiences. Such a disappointment.

All in all I'm just left wondering what the critics must have watched to give this such high scores. I'll think twice in the future before I watch something trusting Joel Edgerton's name.

The Mummy

Not bad if you don't think about it too much
It may be because my expectations were seriously low thanks to critics' reviews, but I enjoyed the movie. The horror aspect was surprisingly good; I wasn't prepared to feel scared, which is always a nice surprise. Although there were some pretty lame scenes where even I could have delivered the lines better, the story, the visual effects, and some really funny dialogue made up for it.

That being said, I don't know why Chris ended up as a ghost/zombie when every other undead being was physically touchable, beatable, visible, and non-omnipresent. Besides, why did he start out as a mindless zombie that tried to kill even Nick, if his sole purpose was to serve Ahmanet and he knew Nick was her chosen one? And if he was going to be a mindless zombie, why did he change into a ghost that was all BFFs with Nick again? Also, I don't think it made sense for Nick to make a sacrifice of that magnitude for Jenny given how his character was portrayed and their ridiculously short relationship history. And I'm sorry, but you can't have a money crazed crook take back control of his body and mental facilities from "Satan himself" (Dr. Jekyll's words, not mine). Is Nick gonna turn out to be the bastard son of a Celestial as well? Please.

As for the acting, I think Tom Cruise had no chemistry whatsoever with any of the other cast members, and -maybe because of that- he looked like he was trying too hard. Annabelle Wallis looked like someone had dropped her into the scene and she'd barely had time to look at her lines; she sounded that fake and out of place. Luckily, she was somehow wayyy better in the second half of the movie than she was in the first half. Russell Crowe looked like he was wearing someone else's clothes, figuratively speaking, so I hope he grows into the role more in the upcoming movies. Sadly, I thought Jake Johnson's role as the comic relief failed miserably, despite his great, natural performance.

I hope the failure of this movie doesn't mark the end of the Dark Universe as I'm still kind of looking forward to seeing it explored, but this should be a lesson learned for everyone involved in the upcoming productions. It's no easy feat messing up a movie this badly when you have all the time, money, and resources in the world not to mention great actors.

Opening Night

Well color me happy there's a sofa in here for two! This must be one of the most entertaining movies I've seen in a long time. Such an amazing script (all those hilarious lines, all the pop culture references in every other sentence, the light-hearted self deprecating humor...), and such fantastic delivery, I tried to will it not to end. Excluding the cheesy AF unrealistic ending, I loved every scene. One has to be well-versed in the music and celebrity tidbits of the past three decades to get everything, to say the least, though.

There was also quite a bit of soul-searching for quite a few characters, and amazingly, it was all done smoothly and with just the right amount of depth. That's a tough thing to accomplish in such a short time, but they nailed it!

So yeah, I definitely recommend it. "Treat yo self".

The Hunter's Prayer

below average drama
Another gun-for-hire-with-a-conscience movie, but I'm afraid not a good one. There are a lot of disturbing scenes or plot arcs involving minors for no apparent reason, and the head honcho's emotional journey doesn't make much sense. He's had a rough military past, for instance, but the emotional scars brought to the foreground don't involve killing human beings. He does a lot for the girl he's trying to save, which is great, except they are things he hasn't done even for his own daughter even though she's supposedly his everything. Hello? Oh and the girl's another story. She has serious problems, except she doesn't act on them. She has serious doubts, except she doesn't act on them, either. All in all, things don't quite add up.

It's a good watch for a virtual tour of Europe and some average action sequences if you're into that kind of thing, though.


As far as French movies go, which I'm not a fan of save for a few classics, it was okay. Not scary, but suspenseful enough to keep watching. It helps that it's quite funny at times. However, I'm not a fan of gory flicks either, and I don't enjoy watching a movie when I can't look at the screen half the time because what's shown is too disgusting and then I'm missing the dialogue because it's French.

I didn't bother doing any research, so I'm not sure what the message is. Could be vegetarian propaganda or anti-vegetarian propaganda, or it could be nothing; I really couldn't say. My takeaway is if you're a vegetarian, better stay vegetarian.


great comedy
It was great to see McCarthy depicting a smart yet funny character; I find her over-the-top, grotesque roles in some other movies truly off- putting. McKinnon gave a refreshing performance, and Wiig, though downright typecast at this point, was still good.

As of today, this title has an average rating of 5.3/10, which really baffles me because I think it's a great comedy. Sure, some scenes feel more like SNL skits than movie scenes, but they are hilarious so I don't mind. The humor, both verbal and visual, is mostly smart and tasteful except where Kevin is involved. Then again, I don't mind that that either because Chris Hemsworth.

Definitely recommended.

Berlin Syndrome

definitely worth seeing
It looks every bit like the clichéd woman-held-captive movie, but there's nothing clichéd about it that I could see. I don't know how you make a fresh movie using an old plot line, but they did it. The characters were a bit flat, but they surprised me at almost every turn, and I loved that there were only two scenes where I face- palmed with frustration (I normally end up doing that a whole lot watching this kind of movie). Can't really give examples of what I mean so as to keep this spoiler-free, which is a bummer, but take my word for it if you will and give it a shot.

Oh and be warned: There's quite a bit of German dialogue.

Edit: The filmmakers should have done their linguistic research better. Andi forgets the word "contemplate" in English twice, and says "complicate" (the first time) and "compensate" (the second time) instead. Apart from the fact that it's a fairly unlikely mistake for an English teacher to make, it's pretty much impossible for a native speaker of German. You see, "complicate" and "compensate" both have cognates in German, "(ver)komplizieren" and "kompensieren" respectively. They're not even false cognates like the German "lernen" and English "learn", where "lernen" also corresponds to "study", leading non-fluent German speakers to say stuff like "I have learned at Cambridge for two years". So even if Andi could forget how to say "contemplate" in English, he wouldn't have confused it with words that are almost identical in German.

There you have it. Phew. Glad we could sort this out.

War Machine

Excellent self-criticism
Everything I saw about the movie before I saw the movie pointed to a bold critique of US foreign policy and war politics, so I didn't expect an action filled nail-biter. It did deliver what I expected, and did so phenomenally. The issues the movie brings up and the things the characters said really, truly couldn't have been said more openly and directly. As the narrator would have you know, it's going to fall on deaf ears where it matters the most, granted, but it's one heck of a catharsis session all the same.

Where the progression of events gets too slow, the brilliant acting comes to the rescue. Pitt's performance didn't look to me as smooth and believable as it used to be, but Tilda Swinton and Ben Kingsley blew my mind. With their impeccable accents and spot on mannerisms, it was near impossible to tell they were just actors (save for their very familiar faces). There were a few pretty funny lines, too.

To anyone who doesn't mind listening to dialogue and watching out for subtle goings-on, this movie is a must, MUST see.

The Ticket

Waste of talent
It's always sad to see good actors in badly made movies, and this is one of those. The story in itself isn't half bad, but there's simply too much to adequately cover in less than two hours. If every plot arc in this movie were made into a TV episode, it would be worth watching. As it stands, however, I found myself questioning the characters' common sense at best and IQ levels at worst.

As for the ending: it's a blatant disregard of the ego; humans simply don't work that way. Just saying.

A Dark Song

So much potential but alas...
It had a good premise and potentially solid characters. The story was poorly developed, though, and the plot suffers from "stupid nonsense happening because the characters couldn't bother to ask about or ensure a simple, normally inconsequential thing" syndrome. The latter really gets to me. On top of things happening because the screenwriter said so and some loose ends dangling away through to the end for no particular reason, it was SO FRICKING SLOW. I don't mind a slow pace when time is devoted to character or story development or building suspense, but I saw none of that. All of this I could have overlooked if there was anything actually scary in the movie.

So in the end, one star for making me watch to the end, one for the premise, one for the one good thing that happens towards the end, and one for the ending. There, four stars.


An unforgiving tale of family and ambition
I fell in love with the brilliant, unspoken way the difference between being a father and being a dad was explained. It broke my heart to see how much ambition can ruin a person. It broke my heart even more to see the extent to which children could grudge against their mother no matter the cost.

The story was beautifully told, and the performances were on point. There were things that could have been done differently, causing less pain for everyone, which is why I didn't find it in me to give it 10 stars, although it's entirely possible that they were meant as a point in case for how humans err. 100% recommended to any drama aficionado.

Big Little Lies

What a thrill ride!
Wow; just wow! It took a few episodes getting used to seeing all these successful leading ladies on the small screen, but boy am I glad they signed up for this show. I was just gonna watch an episode or two but ended up binge-watching the entire first season; it was that good.

The plot is incredible, and the suspension is the kind that makes you hold your breath and you don't even realize it until you finally let go, then you have to gulp for this big breath of air. Exceptionally well done!

The intricate web of lies and hatred and conflict and betrayal and doubt is so beautifully woven that with every developing story line I changed my mind about who the killer was going to be, or the victim. And every time I did, I found myself wishing that it wouldn't be them. In the end, it wasn't anyone I'd have remotely guessed, and that's a big plus for me right there.

I did correctly guess who the aggressor in the assault scenario was (trying to keep it vague enough to avoid spoilers), which is good because my ego may not have handled being all wrong.

There were a few scenes where I actually had to shout in anger, frustration, surprise, or even shock, and there were some scenes where I belly-laughed. If nothing else, the scenery and the sight of all those beautiful people and cute little kids would have got me going. All in all, I can't recommend this show enough.


Allegory at its best!
I'd say this picture is more fantasy than sci-fi. The story is amazing; it really keeps you on edge as events unfold, and the actors have all done a fantastic job. Love it when you can't guess what's gonna happen in every other scene. That said, there were a few things that didn't make sense to me; I didn't see how they contributed to the development of the story, but they were few and far between.

All in all, this is exactly what I want a movie to be: A magical story that seemingly doesn't have any connections to real life, except when you think about it there's more to it than meets the eye.

Personal Shopper

I mean, come on.
Another movie where Kristen Stewart plays Kristen Stewart. I mean, come on; the gal can't act to save her life and yet everyone seems to be oblivious to the fact. The script is bad. Some lines are downright ridiculous, and the screenwriter seems to have been blind to the thin line between intriguing unanswered questions and plot holes. If you are willing to fill in the gaps with your imagination, though, and you don't mind the excruciatingly slow pace, you may enjoy the movie.


I honestly didn't see what all the fuss is about. It was a depressing, sad little movie. Logan was too heartless and pitiful; what kind of "superhero" is that? There were so many ways things could have gone differently that could make the movie more action than drama, but alas! The final standoff was also lame af. My favorite thing about Wolverine from here on out is definitely Wade Wilson poking fun at him.

Damsels in Distress

Refreshing characters
What stood out to me about this movie is how hardly any characters were clichéd. I thought they were pretty unique in a lot of ways, and very unpredictable. I mean unpredictable in a good way, as in, you couldn't tell what they were going to say or do next, or how things would end up. Admirable treat in a movie of this genre.

That was it, though. Nothing really funny or special, or particularly uplifting or depressing. Just an average movie. There was some pretty hard-to-believe stuff added to the story (to be satirical I guess), which didn't match the rest of the movie. I don't think it works to have normal kids living regular lives as your protagonists (however weird they may be) and make stupid stuff up to be critical of God knows what. If it's supposed to be a parody, then where do all the serious and philosophical conversations and the pretty real emotions fit?

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