gimme-junkmail

IMDb member since December 2006
    Lifetime Total
    5+
    IMDb Member
    14 years

Reviews

The Dead Don't Die
(2019)

it really doesn't end well
Good actors, well shot, cringy dark humour - it had it all... except for a story-line. it's a time-pass movie; we had guests at home and i needed an escape. 90 mins of a/c and a bit of bill murray, it's fine. there are no after-credits scenes, and it's safe to go to the bathroom at any point, you will miss nothing noteworthy.

Captain Fantastic
(2016)

dumb movie about nothing
Putting noam chomsky on a pedestal, please... plotless movie about "alternative lifestyle"

Ghostbusters
(2016)

terrible
even for a parody it'd be terrible, but this was a p*** poor excuse for a reboot. like anchorman 2 bad. ironically, kate mckinnon was the worst - zero substance to the character. the only jokes are meta, about the "ridiculousness" of the previous ghostbusters movies. please don't make more. this is so thoroughly ruined. if the bad guy can control all the police, why wouldn't he just control the ghostbusters? why are the metal dudes so chill about the green the green pterodactyl? why was kate mckinnon so awful in this? does bill murray just straight up disappear without closure? gawd, why even make this if you could care less about it being good - they've literally been mulling it over for 20 years, and THIS is the best you could come up with? p*** poor.

Vinyl
(2016)

Too long, too cliché, kinda boring
I made to about 1h30m in. I didn't know you could make 2hr episodes, that's ridiculous. Specially when your material is so thin, nevermind stacking it with the regular hbo flavourings of sex, drugs and alcohol. This stuff stinks, and it's been done already. The main actor is alright, but the plot is just boring. That Robert Plant actor though, oh god why... Can't blame Led Zep for not signing off on the song usage. There are some cool tracks, but again it's that now stale remix of "love of music" vs "lust for power and money". It sounded very promising, the subject matter - rock and roll, early 70s, music business - but now it's obvious that it's just another coal in the hbo fire, reproducing the same breed of "decadent biopic" television. Turn the page, man. If watching this leave you with anything it is that you should be glad record labels are dying, and that the internet is liberating us from the unnecessary intermediaries.

Edit: I remembered how I wanted t describe it - Vinyl is just another generic HBO show: lotta sex, drugs and alcohol, very little substance. It's white noise after you're done jerking off.

The Hateful Eight
(2015)

Tarantino's Skyfall
How to make a slow film about nothing and still make millions of dollars. Step 1: grab a bunch of A-list names. Step 2: forget your reputation at the door. Step 3: make a gory cover of Buñuel's Exterminating Angel, only with a more nonsensical plot. Step 4: ask for a big budget that overcompensates the cost, cos sure as heck people are gonna warn their friends not to sit through this piece of crap. Step 5: Profit (without ticket sales).

Never have I been more disappointed or lost respect so quickly for someone I held in such high regard. I'm not a fan of gore, but Tarantino movies usually have very intellectually engaging dialogue. H8 has none of the above. The one plot twist comes at the end of chapter 4 of 6, when the tiny bit of action kicks in. Hell, if you still want to watch it, you might as well skip the first 60 minutes!

If you don't want to lose respect for Tarantino, don't watch this movie. Or, at the very least, don't pay to watch this steaming pile of horse manure.

Delivery Man
(2013)

Unnecessary
This is a remake of the French-Canadian movie Starbuck (2011). I haven't seen that movie, yet. But I can safely assume that it cannot be as crap as this garbage.

The writer's general theme throughout the movie: forget explaining the set-up of a joke; let's drag out the punch-line. Too much assuming the audience "gets" the gist, so let's just focus on making ""smart"" quips about the silly situation. End-product: a movie that is neither new or funny, and mind-numbing

Also, as soon as they're introduced, you will feel like Vince Vaughn and Chris Pratt should have played each other's roles instead of their own.

Everything that occurs is predictable, and awful. Wasteful 90 minutes.

Mr. Sunshine
(2011)

Re-make of Joey
You can pin each ancillary character, and their dynamic to Perry's character, almost exactly as "Joey".

The warmth with which the camera operates will get you through it, and you might get a kick here and there; much like lukewarm spinach soup for your birthday - disappointing, but come one you get to see Chandler.

At many times during each episode you can literally hear Chandler's mind take over the lines of all characters en scene.

I agree with easy to digest comedy, but the lack of any real depth in each character (aside from their oh-so-ridiculous {sarcastic} over the top set-up) leaves you with only with a half-baked plot that relies again on events leading up to a Chandler "moment".

This is a fail. Fail Matthew Perry, fail.

I still love you though. Kthxbai

I Am Legend
(2007)

Good concept, bad casting
Plot: action-packed, high on uncertainty, carries out previous notions of scary-zombies (as given by resident evil, 28 days later, etc.) very well. It IS predictable; however, if you love thrillers, I think you'll find it an OK way to spend 2 hours of your life.

Characters: My opinion is that the original written version identified quite an intriguing, mysterious main protagonist. However, since the decision to cast Will Smith, it turned into a more obnoxious obsession of grandeur - somehow, again, it becomes a 'The Will Smith Show' episode, in under 5 minutes. I can hardly identify the need to see Smith exercise in the front of the camera for over 5 minutes or his severe advertising campaigns (or intent to thrust an image of contemporary-retro to viewers), for example. Also, would've been nice to have given some depth to 'Ana' and 'Ethan'!

Filmography: Mostly good. Despite the 'subliminal' advertising, most shots are set in a correct atmosphere, and the music (or, lack of) adds to this well. There's always a set-back in attempting to recreate monsters via computer animation, but since their exposure is significantly reduced (at least for the first 3/4 of the film), it isn't a huge obstacle on viewers.

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